Friend or Flame
by Spotofpaint
Summary: Light and L have escaped Japan and have started a new life in America. But their troubles are far from over. In this new land there are much more frightening things than mass murderers and death. After all, what could be more terrifying than feelings?
1. A Fresh Start

**Please note that the following fan fiction is based off of my previous Death Note fan fiction entitled "Friend or Foe." Much of this story is based off of that foundation. If you haven't read it, I suggest you do before proceeding. You may become confused or lost without the background.**

**Author's Note:** Ok, so lied. So I _am_ going to do a sequel right away. I tried to resist it, but I just kept getting all of these ideas. And after a few weeks of trying to write my novel, and having L and Light pop into my head interrupting me, I decided it might be best to get them out of the way entirely. I've learned that I can never resist writing something, if it truly wants to be written.

With that said, I _will_ still be working on my novel. Here's how it goes: I'm going to write whatever demands to be written that day. I cannot say which story will win out over the course of time. As such, the updates on this will not be nearly as speedy as they were in Friend or Foe, (unless Light and L take over my life and I ditch my novel entirely, which is a sad possibility.) So you have been warned.

Also, this is another important note: this story **will be yaoi.** I promise that it will be tasteful. It will NOT contain things of a graphic nature. I just can't see Light and L acting like that. Ever. They're both far too respectable to be doing half the things I see in other fan fictions. So if you're looking for smut, please look elsewhere. This story will be much more focused on their conflicted feelings and all of the new problems they will be facing in America. There will still be a level of high intelligence and scheming, but I don't know to what degree now that the two are less enemies and more friends. Maybe they'll end up scheming things together to trick someone else. We'll see where they want to take the story.

Also, I cannot say where this story will go. Eventually, down the line, I may have to change the rating to M for mature. Right now it's seated at T for teen. There will be adult language and there will be suggestive content. How suggestive is still unknown to me.

So that's the gist of it. This is mostly for fun, so have a good time!

Spotofpaint

P.S- Also please note that since they're in America, they will always be speaking English. If they're speaking Japanese, it will be in bold letters. The exact opposite of the last fan fiction I wrote.

--------------------------

"…not everything I did in the investigation room was an act."

That statement, made by L, one week prior, on the airplane to America, had been the most occupying thought on Light's mind since it had been uttered. Having more respect and dignity then perhaps L had previously thought, Light had not responded. He knew that L had been seeking a response. Whether it had been a joke or not was still a question. But what wasn't a question was that L had said it to get some sort of rise out of Light. Light certainly would have never given him one. As such, that inexplicable phrase had been ignored by both ever since.

The two acted as they usually would have after landing in America. Finding themselves in the city of Atlanta Georgia had opened the door to all sorts of new stresses and problems. The pair of friends hardly had time to do anything other then set up their new lives and to worry.

Finding an apartment hadn't been hard. They were literally all over the place in the city. Tall glass buildings housed usually only one of two things: offices or apartments. And seeing as they were surrounded by such towering structures, they had little to do but some pricing.

They'd discovered one that was to their liking on the seventeenth floor of a moderate sized building that overlooked the Centennial Olympic Park. The apartment was also of a moderate size. Just large enough to house two young men who would kill each other if it was any smaller.

The place had two bedrooms, a living area, a small kitchen, a smaller dining room a laundry room and one bathroom. They would have to share the bathroom. That would be a major problem.

"Especially since Raito-kun is so vain and spends so much time in front of the mirror." L had said when they had first moved in.

After finding a place to live, which they had achieved on the first day, the rest was more difficult. They ended up staying in a hotel for a few days until their lease and contract could be solidified and the apartment building could get their apartment cleaned and ready for new tenants. Once moved in, they had to fill the place. Furniture, Light discovered, was a difficult thing to get in and out of a seventeen-story apartment. After twenty or more trips up and down the elevator, he was exhausted and more then angry. Fortunately for Light, there was a small, skinny man to unleash his anger out on. But as always, L didn't appreciate it, and lashed out with a few retorts of his own.

They'd been shopping and fighting the entire week. They needed utilities, clothes, dressers, beds, couches, chairs, food of all kinds, sweets, ice-cream, cake, pots, pans, utensils, chopsticks, and a manner of other necessities.

The strain was almost too much to bear. L was more then irritable. Light knew it was because the spindly man was not used to providing for himself. Watari had done everything for him in the past so that he needn't be bothered with such trifles. So that he could concentrate solely on his work. But now, L was forced to venture outside at all hours of everyday. He was being forced to do the things that he found too tiresome to do himself for the first portion of his life. The stress of all the newness and the fighting and the dwindling money supply was grating on his nerves.

Light wasn't holding up well either. And that was why they fought so frequently. It seemed almost as if every word that came out of the others mouth was barbed.

But finally, after that first hellish week in America, they had acquired every necessity that they needed. They were settled and set. All that was left now was to find jobs before the money Watari gave them ran dry.

"After we calculate the down payment for the apartment, the first months rent, and all of the furniture and food we bought we have…three thousand left." L said in his usual stoic voice. Light frowned.

"That's not much…"

"No…it isn't. We'll need to find work immediately. This won't last us very long when we have monthly bills, rent, and food to be anxious about…" Light took that moment to absorb this unique scene before him. L was worrying about bills. That was somehow very unusual. Perhaps it was because bills were such a normal everyday thing. And L was certainly not normal, or everyday.

In fact, Light was certain that he'd gotten used to L being some sort of being from another world. He was part of the Kira portion of his life. He was part of that crazy time when nothing at all had seemed real. L had been as unreal as any ghost or fable. After all, how could a man like L be real in the first place? His past was certainly ludicrous enough to convince any person that this legendary L didn't really exist. A born genius who never ventured outside? But here he was, in an apartment, counting digital pennies and contemplating bills and groceries. It seemed somehow, more ludicrous then half of the crazy things that had happened in Japan. Surely plotting to kill one another had been saner. Or at least more normal.

"I've never had a problem getting jobs before. I've had a few. I'll find one tomorrow." Light offered. He stood in the open doorway that lead from the kitchen into the dining room. Or…what would have been the dinging room. However, L had set it up as an office instead. Against the far wall was a long desk that took up that entire length of the sheetrock. It was enough space for just two computers and two chairs. L had insisted on getting them even though it had cost them much of their depleting money. It was yet another thing they had argued over.

"I suppose we'll need two incomes…" L muttered. He didn't sound happy. Light scoffed, glancing away from the back of the ex-detective who sat, as always, crouched in his swivel chair.

"Well yeah! What did you think? That I would just support you? That you could sit there all day doing nothing?" L visibly twitched, but did not bother himself with turning around to retort.

"What, if anything at all, gave you the idea that I would enjoy doing absolutely nothing with myself Yagami-kun? Did you not stop to contemplate that perhaps, even with how busy we've been as of late, that I've been bored to the point of near insanity? Did you not fathom that maybe a genius, such as myself, who is used to spending every second of every waking moment contemplating intricate puzzles and unsolvable crimes to all who attempted it before, would find buying furniture and food just a bit too dull? Did you not realize this Yagami-kun? If you have realized this, which I'm ninety-six percent certain you have, then you're simply provoking me for the thirteenth time this morning! And if you indeed did not realize this, then you have lost your brain in one of the dozens of public places I have been dragged through these past seven days!"

Light stared, brown eyes wide. He'd almost forgotten. L didn't bother to hide his feelings anymore. After all that had happened between them, he was no longer the same stoic detective he once was. In fact, he was much more open. He let his once secretive emotions show whenever he felt like it. It was a testament to how much he truly trusted Light and how much their friendship had really grown.

Having realized this yet again for what must have been the tenth time that week, Light became torn between a retort, which he had already formed, and a kinder answer, which might smooth over the ruffled feathers he had created. He sighed, glanced at the box of pocky that sat open on the computer desk, and decided on neither. Instead, he reached out and grabbed one of the chocolate covered sticks.

"Have some pocky and shut up," Light said in a cool way. Before L could respond, Light had shoved the stick in between the skinny man's lips. L let out a noise of displeasure and agitation as he shrunk away from Light. But the moment he tasted the chocolate, he seemed to calm. Instead of verbally tearing into Light a second time as planned, he lifted his thin, spindly fingers to the end of the chocolate covered biscuit. He pinched it between thumb and forefinger, and seemed quite content not to say another word as he twirled it. Light grinned slyly.

_It's like an off button. _But then his sly grin slowly melted away when he remembered the precise reason why L enjoyed his sweets so much. That day in the hospital L had written down just a bit of his past onto a notepad for Light to understand. And that one page of description had been enough. _He gives a new meaning to the term "food is love."_ Light knew that as long as L had this affliction, he was still giving in to the ghosts of his past. Maybe it was wrong to use sweets as a way of shutting him up. After all…that was exactly what it was used for in all of the orphanages he'd grown up in. It was a means of shutting him up.

"Hey Lawliet," It had taken some getting used too, but Light had finally gotten a handle on calling L by his full name. "Ever think of weaning yourself off of sweets?"

L froze. He froze so suddenly that it appeared almost as if he had been in a movie and someone had hit pause. He sat, curled in his chair, toes gripping its edge. One hand was poised lightly on the tip of his pocky stick, his mouth frozen I the middle of its workings.

Slowly and with a look on his face that made Light want to turn into ice, he turned in his swivel chair. The glowing computer screen now being neglected, L's complete and terrible dark gaze was on Light. He slowly removed the stick on pocky from his mouth.

"And…what brought on such a question?" Light actually found a lump forming in his throat. He quickly tried to stomp it down.

_There's no reason to ever be scared of L! He's just as small, weak and easily manipulative as he was back in Japan. No icy look will change that!_ Quickly, Light's usual arrogant, self-assertive smile came back to his face. He lifted his hands and shrugged in jest as if his question had been nothing more then whimsy.

"Oh I dunno. Some of the stuff you wrote down in the hospital. It seems to me your addiction isn't exactly healthy." L blinked up at Light, pocky being placed back into his mouth. He could hear the response Light would have given _no shit._ But that simply wasn't L's style. He removed his snack to speak a second time.

"As I recall, also on that notepad, I had written the reason why I continue to eat my desires. I'm too old Raito-kun. I'm twenty-five and I'm afraid that this affliction has been engraved in my psyche. If I were younger, perhaps it would be possible. The psyche and the mind have more room to grow and expand. It's easy to change and bend when young. But I'm afraid that despite my brilliance, my mind has stopped growing. In fact, from this age onward, my brain cells are slowly dying off. I am set in my ways."

"God you're wordy today. Besides, all I heard out of you was a bunch of bull. There are plenty of people out there who are addicted to one thing or another because it makes them _feel_ good. Drugs, alcohol and even other people addicted to foods like you. There have been more then enough cases of people much older then you who've overcome their addictions despite the pain and agony of withdrawal symptoms and other such horrors." L's black eyes were narrowing, their usual large size becoming smaller as he squeezed Light between his steely gaze.

"I don't want to. There. Is that more to your liking? I _enjoy_ my sweets. So I suggest you drop this subject _now_."

"Testy testy! You still jostled by the weeks events?" L sighed with seeming frustration. His eyes rolled to the ceiling in the way they used to when he was thinking very hard about something. But this time, Light knew, was simply because of his agitation.

"Must we fight again? Is it really essential? Is it necessary to suffer like this every hour or so? You must be as sick of it as I am. Either that…or you enjoy it." Light tried to stop himself. He really did. But the comebacks were almost programmed into him!

"Not as much as you enjoy sweets." It just shot out of his mouth against his will! Light gave a start as if his own barbed tongue had bit him. L's eyes narrowed dangerously.

"I'm going to get to work searching for a job on my new MAC. Why don't you take the opportunity to search for jobs _outside_ Yagami-kun? I think you'll find the fresh air and space _refreshing_." It was said with such viciousness that Light hardly could have argued. L was practically trembling in his seat with rage.

As Light turned and headed through the kitchen and toward the front door, he couldn't help but feel a bittersweet taste rise into his mouth.

It was strangely refreshing to see L so open. His anger was almost like a breath of fresh air in comparison to how stuffy he used to be. But at the same time, anger was the only emotion Light had been privileged to see the past week. And L's anger was startlingly bright and hot. Light had been burned several times due to his own inability to shut his mouth. Still, the sting was somehow…enjoyable. Maybe that was why he kept baiting the hook.


	2. Unsolved Mysteries

Light ended up getting a job at the Georgia Aquarium. It was in walking distance. In fact, it could be seen from the window in the new apartment. If one looked out the window they would see a massive patch of green grass, trees and large fountains that stretched into the sky. That was the Olympic Park. But just past that and on the other side of the greenery was the large dome shaped blue building with a large "G" on it. That was the aquarium. It would at least be nice to walk through the park everyday, but there was little else that was nice about it.

The job was ridiculously beneath Light. He managed to get hired as a tour guide. He supposed it was nice to get such an in demand job without any prior training, or a resume to show. Apparently, from what he'd been told, there was a three year waiting list for people's resumes to even be looked at. But it hadn't been hard for Light. He had simply used his extensive knowledge to show that he knew more then the professionals there. He had outwitted them all and told them a thing or two that they didn't know about their prized whale sharks. They were so impressed with his extensive knowledge on sea life that they practically begged him to come work for them.

But the only reason Light had gone for the tour guide job was because the only other job he could see himself getting with no resume or experience or worse…a background check, was a waiter. And there was no way in hell he was going to be a waiter. So…he opted for the squeaky cute orcas and the screaming brats and their parents. Or was it the squeaky cute kids and the screaming orcas?

He sighed as he pressed the seventeenth floor button on the elevator to head up. He knew he'd be dealing with retarded people everyday. They'd ask ridiculous questions that he would be forced to answer with a smile. Light was good at faking a smile. But he had never been good at keeping his anger in check.

The elevator binged and he found himself on his floor. He walked over to his new home and fished out his keys. Jamming it into the lock, he stepped inside. He wondered how L had fared with his job search on the computer. Swinging the door in, Light looked up and let out a small gasp.

Papers were scattered everywhere across the living room floor. Some were taped together haphazardly. Others were marked sloppily with Sharpie markers or pens. Others still were pinned up on the walls, huge arrows connecting from one page, across five others and to a bottom page.

And there, in the midst of the mess, seated like an ape on the dark teal carpet was L. He was surrounded by candy wrappers. Empty plates smeared with icing were stacked on the coffee table just behind him and the couch. Soda cans were scattered about, treated as if they had contained beer instead of a sugary liquid.

L was scribbling furiously on one of his many printouts, curtsey of his brand new computer. He had a bag of jellybeans at his side and had been shoving quite a handful into his mouth when Light entered. He stopped and looked up from his place on the floor, his cheeks bulging slightly from their sugary load.

"What the hell is all of this?" Light cried. L swallowed, a large lump could visibly be seen sinking down his throat. Then he sat up from his hunched position into a slightly less hunched squat.

"I've already solved three of the crimes shown on Unsolved Mysteries. Sadly, they happened quite a many years ago, and the killers are already dead, and can't be brought to justice. So it was really all for my entertainment." Light gaped. "I'm on the last mystery now. I'm seventy-five percent certain that it isn't even a true story, but rather an urban ledged or hoax." His eyes drifted back to his printout. "Wait…" he scribbled something onto the page. "…seventy-eight percent certain."

Light closed the door behind him and stepped further into the apartment. He carefully made his way over papers and snack wrappers. The wrappers were out of control. Light knew that there were pounds of the sugary items missing.

"Lawliet! H…how much crap have you eaten since I left this morning?"

"Don't make it sound so dramatic. I had nine hours in which to ingest the snakes. I didn't eat them all at once."

"You might as well have! What did you do, eat something every five minutes?"

"Every twenty-eight, approximately, thank you."

"Twenty-eight!"

"Approximately." L turned his attention back to his printout even as Light walked over to him and stood at his side. His marker still uncapped and pinched between two fingers, he touched the tip of it to the white page. "You can help if you'd like Raito-kun." With his free hand, he reached toward his bag of jellybeans.

Quick as lightning, Light struck like a snake, snagging the clear bag into his hands and out of L's reach. L let out a startled gasp and then gazed up at Light with eyes that were even larger then usual.

"Yagami-kun!" Light glared down at L in a stern and almost vicious way.

"You've had enough damned candy Lawliet! Look at this place! It's a mess!" L glanced around him at the mess he had created almost indifferently.

"I'll clean it up when I'm done." His voice was calm and uncaring. This seemed to make Light even more agitated.

"That's not the point! You shouldn't be doing shit like this! What possessed you to solve a bunch of old crimes that have been so overdone that they were put onto an American daytime TV show? It's meaningless!" L's gaze remained cool. He blinked at Light casually.

"Is Raito-kun upset about the mess? Clearly not, or my offering to clean it would have appeased him. So then why is he still so livid with me?" Light's right eye twitched.

"I _hate_ it when you talk in third person!"

"Actually, it's not really third person if I don't refer to myself by name. In order for it to be third person, I'd have to call myself Lawliet. And if I called myself Lawliet, I would…"

"Shut up! Just shut up!" L blinked a second time, his eyes widening slightly as his attention was brought back to Light. For a moment, neither spoke. They simply stared at each other, Light's face red with anger, and L's pale with surprise. But slowly, that surprise started to melt away like ice.

"If Raito-kun is not upset about the mess, then he is angry with my actions. He does not want me to spend my time in this particular way." L lifted his gaze, capturing Light's like a steel trap. "Why? Why does Raito-kun care how I spend my time?"

Light felt something funny move inside of his chest. Almost like he'd had a bit too much caffeine. But that couldn't have been it. He hadn't had any soda or coffee that day. He stared at L, puzzled by the question he'd asked. _Why do I care what he does with his time?_ Nothing came to him. His mind was a blank. That was disturbing.

Not wanting to let on that he was probably more confused by this then L, he desperately forced himself to answer. He put on his usual cocky grin and crossed his arms in front of his chest.

"Why don't you tell me what brought all this on?" That was good. He evaded the question entirely by asking one of his own. L sighed slightly and looked away from Light. Still squatting on the floor, he capped his marker.

"…an unsatisfactory answer…" Light frowned. Deciding the best way to win this was to keep on the offensive, he didn't let up with the question he had posed after L's.

"Come on Lawliet. Tell me what happened here. You don't seem like you should be easily interested in some show like Unsolved Mysteries." L sighed a second time. He glanced to the place where his jellybeans had been. Light wasn't really expecting an answer from him. L never answered his questions.

"May I have my Jelly Beans back?" That was startling. L didn't answer, that was expected. But he was asking for the Jelly Beans back instead of demanding them. That was unusual. But this was one point Light would remain firm. He shook his head.

"No. You've had more then enough sugar today. Even for you." His mind reeled, spinning off of this one fact. It quickly leapt from one conclusion to the next. "Lawliet…you were bored," he said. L reached out a thin, pale hand and grabbed another printed page that was off to his right. He started skimming over the printed words quickly.

"Bored is not an appropriate term. There is no word strong enough in any language that I know to convey the strength of the thing that I felt. Boredom is close, but it doesn't carry the power necessary." Light would never get used to this new L. He was amazed at the ease in which L not only admitted to Light's accusation, but also elaborated on it. It was a load of new information, which Light immediately processed.

"You weren't just bored. You were lonely. That's why there are so many desecrated snack wrappers around. That's why there's plates stacked on the table." L uncapped his marker and began circling things on the second page.

"…eighty-two percent…" Light had to wonder about that number. Was L eighty-two percent certain the crime he was trying to solve was a hoax, or was he saying that Light was eighty-two percent correct? Light stared at the back of his roommate's head as he was leaned far too over to see his face.

"Then…this is what happened. You were searching for a job on the computer. You found one almost immediately due to your genius. Then, judging from the time period of nine hours that you stated earlier, you got off the computer and found yourself with nothing to do, probably because your job doesn't start until Monday. This was a new and unusual thing for you to experience. You'd never had nothing to do before. Having never felt bored before, you didn't know how to handle it.

Knowing that regular people watched TV in their spare time, you flipped on the tube. But since it's daytime TV, nothing of interest was on. The closest thing that was even remotely interesting, or related to your field of expertise, was Unsolved Mysteries. After having watched the hour show, you decided that TV just wasn't your thing. You turned it off, but of course, your mind was already piecing together all the clues you'd been given in the show. Unable to stop yourself, you went back to your computer and started working in the way that you'd always been trained to work. In the way you'd grown up working. In the way you worked for the past eighteen years of your life.

Once you started you couldn't stop. And once you were working, you of course remembered Watari who'd always been there when you worked before. But now no one was there to bring you snacks or keep you company. I wasn't even there for you to argue with or bounce ideas off of. You probably thought about how you'd never see Watari again, the only person who ever cared for you.

Distressed, you stopped in your work to get some snacks, knowing it would be a temporary relief to your problem, but still you were unwilling to do without them. You at first ate at your desk, but as you got deeper into your work you needed to spread out for more room. But the main reason for you printing all of this up and making such a mess was to get out some of your anxiety by taking it into a physical form. Scribbling with markers was much more satisfying then typing things on a computer.

And, on top of that, another reason for purposefully making such a mess was so that when I came home, I would see it. If you didn't want me to see it, you would have cleaned up before I returned. What's more is you would have thrown out all the trash and cleaned your dishes. But instead you left them out in plain sight, knowing very well that I am the only person on this earth other then Watari, who knows why you eat sweets.

In other words, you wanted me to notice. You wanted me to know that you were feeling these things. And you thought it would be easier to have me piece it all together rather then explain it to me. Explaining yourself isn't something you like to do. Even when you want to, you don't like it. This was far better then saying a single word to me about it when I got home, which was your only other option if you wanted my attention."

The marker squeaked lightly on the page L was drawing on. He seemed to have finished and he lifted the marker off the page and quickly capped it. He gave no indication that he had even been listening to Light's longwinded explanation. But then he muttered softly,

"One hundred percent…" Light blinked, almost surprised even though he himself had just put it all together out loud for L's benefit. Was L admitting to everything he'd just deduced? L suddenly and almost viciously crumpled up the paper he'd just been writing on. "It was a false mystery." He grabbed another sheet, crumpling that up with the first. Then he grabbed a third. Vaguely, Light realized that L was now cleaning up the mess he'd made.

This was solid proof.

L was admitting that Light was indeed one hundred percent correct by cleaning up the papers and the mess. He was admitting that one of the primary reasons he had made the mess was so Light would see it. It was his way of telling Light something without ever having to say it. Now that it had served its purpose. It was no longer of any use to him.

The area around L started to reveal carpet as the papers were gathered one by one. Light at first did not move. He only watched at the smaller man beneath him cleaned.

_He wanted to tell me how he was feeling…and he wanted my attention._ That thought was striking. Almost shocking. Immediately Light's mind wandered back to that one line, that one singular sentence that L had said on the plane: _Not everything I did in the investigation room was an act._

L was trying to communicate, but very sadly, Light knew, he didn't really know how. He'd been too deprived to learn, and this elaborate demonstration with props and all was his first real attempt at saying something real.

_How should I respond to this?_ Light felt anxious. His chest was tight. A part of him wanted to make fun of L. It would be so easy just to crack some jokes at his expense. That was what he would have done during any other day. But this seemed somehow important.

He glanced to the bag of jellybeans in his hands. L had not asked for them again. And in fact, he had not tried to take them, or fight for them. It could have been because he had plenty of sugar earlier on and didn't need anymore. Or…it could have been something else that Light didn't fully understand.

"Raito-kun, are you going to help me clean?" Light blinked, looking up from his thoughts to find L standing, two arms full of crumpled papers. An automatic sneer came onto Light's face as if he were programmed.

"Why? It's your mess." Light could hardly believe himself. Why did he just do that? Was it so automatic to snap and tease and retort that he simply couldn't carry a nice conversation? Or maybe…Kira hadn't fully gone away, even thought Light hated him and had no more need of him.

"Yes indeed. It is my mess," L said simply, but there was a quality to his voice and expression that seemed to convey that he expected Light to help anyway. Almost as if it were Light's obligation and that if he didn't help it was equivalent to not putting out a fire he may have started.

"Don't look at me like that! It's not my fault you got bored! And it's certainly not my fault you watched some stupid daytime TV show!" L didn't respond. He stared at Light briefly with critical, analytic eyes. Then he turned and headed toward the garbage in the kitchen to deposit his papers. Light still didn't move, his hands clutching the jellybean bag. He listened as loud rustling greeted his ears. L must have been shoving the papers down into the trash. He re-appeared a moment later, and then sank down to the floor, squatting in a new area. He started grabbing more papers.

"So what kind of job did Raito-kun get?"

"How do you know I got one?"

"You always have an air of triumph about you when you achieve something you've set out to do. You had that attitude just before you saw the mess I made. So you must have gotten a job." Light was impressed. Then again, he shouldn't have been. They'd lived together for a long time before ever having moved to America. They'd been handcuffed together for God's sake! Of course L knew him.

"Yeah. I'm a tour guide at the aquarium. You can see it from our window."

"Ah, the aquarium! That's respectable. I hear it has no openings for many years. It has the largest water holding tank in the world."

"Yeah, it's all anyone would talk about after they hired me, that and their whale sharks. They're big…I guess." L actually chuckled. Light blinked with surprise. He was laughing? His eyes immediately snapped to L so that he could burn this image in his mind. L never smiled. It was so rare. And all Light had gotten out of him the last week had been anger. This was a pleasant change of pace.

And there on L's face was just what Light was looking for. A small, almost child-like grin was seated on his thin lips; his normally large eyes squinted shut with joy.

"Raito-kun's so excited. So much so that he feels the need to hide it with facetious statements." L grabbed another page. "The aquarium will be good for you." Light felt that thing in his chest again. That caffeine buzz. For some reason, he hated it. It made him feel anxious and flustered. And what was worse, it made him angry. He let out a grunt, and then headed into the kitchen.

Once there, he took the jellybeans and twisted the bag shut with a tie. Then, without even knowing why, he tossed the bag up on top of one of the cabinets. It was far too high for L to reach and it was out of sight. Having little clue to as why he'd done this, he then headed back into the living room. L stood up, a second armload of papers in his hands. He headed toward Light and the kitchen.

"So what about you Lawliet? What job did you get?" L glanced over his shoulder as he started stuffing the papers down into the garbage can.

"How do you know I got a job?" He said slyly, making Light eat his words from earlier. Light rolled his eyes. _I guess I deserved that._

"Because earlier in my explanation of your behavior, I said that you had gotten one. You never argued with me afterward. Plus, you never would have stopped to watch Unsolved Mysteries until your task was done. You're like me. You don't quit at something until it's complete." L paused as he finished with the trash and glanced thoughtfully up at the ceiling.

"Hmm…like Raito-kun. I suppose it's true." Caffeine again. Light finally identified the feeling as a sort of fluttering sensation. Or perhaps his heart had picked up pace. _Maybe I ought to see a doctor._ L turned heading out of the kitchen and back into the living room, brushing past Light who stood just outside of the division entrance between both rooms.

Light had a sudden urge to smack L. Hard. Across the back of the head perhaps. Somehow, he just knew it was his fault his chest was so funny.

"Hey! You never answered my question!" Light demanded suddenly. L was already squatting once more. This time picking up candy wrappers.

"I'm a linguist." Light blinked, startled at how quickly the answer had come.

"A linguist?"

"Yes. I will get to work from the apartment, which was a necessity for me. I do not want to head outside everyday. I do not like interacting with others. I am not social. And a linguist is at least somewhat more challenging then other jobs. Although…it is not near the level of my old one. I suppose it will do. I've wanted to relax a little, but also keep my mind working and sharp."

"Sounds perfect."

"Yes. I'll have much more free time then I've ever been used to before to peruse a few personal projects I've been contemplating." This caught Light off guard. He moved more away from the kitchen and deeper into the living room where L was working.

"Personal projects?" L smiled a second time.

"Raito-kun is curious." Light quickly wiped his Curious George look off his face and replaced with an easy scowl. He crossed his arms over his chest and glared off to the side.

"Why the hell would I ever be interested in anything _you_ want to do?" He snapped his tongue like a whip. L didn't seem bothered by it anymore. He didn't flinch, or even blink, and his smile remained.

"Normally I'd play some mind games with you. Drag out your curiosity over the coarse of several days until you were unable to resist any longer and forced to ask me directly what I mean. But today I'm feeling rather generous. Maybe I'll tell you one or two of the five projects I have planned." He stood up with the last armload of papers and wrappers. All that was left now were the plates and soda cans scattered about the room. Light gaped. _Five projects! _L faced Light directly. "I'll tell you one of my projects today. If you're truly curious, you'll have to wait for the others as usual." He headed to the kitchen once more. Light, unable to help himself, followed. He stood in the open doorway and waited patiently for L to throw away his papers. When he completed his task, he turned and faced Light, a glowing look of excitement on his usually stoic and unmovable face.

"I'm going to do in-depth research on laughing." Light froze in shock, his almond eyes widening. _Laughing?_ L waited patiently, seemingly realizing that Light needed a few seconds to maul over the strange information he was given.

"Laughing?" Light repeated it, immediately feeling like an idiot.

"Yes. Would you like me to explain?" Every bone in Light's body itched to lash out a stinging retort. L purposefully asked the last question as a way of baiting him. It made him feel inferior and belittled to have L say something like that so casually when he very well knew that Light was dying to know. He was treating him like a little kid.

Thus, a battle ensued. It was between Light's liking for being superior and more dominating then L, and his true and genuine curiosity. He wanted to know more about this strange project so badly. But he wasn't sure if he could purposefully play into L's hands like that. It was a fierce mental tug-of-war. He wanted to shoot him down for that smug grin he wore. But at the same time…he _really_ wanted to know why L would want to devote his time to something so normal and obvious.

"It seems like a waste of time to me," Light finally said. "Why would you want to research something so mundane?" There. It was a compromise. He had both shot L down and shown his curiosity. L's dark eyes shifted to the side as he contemplated Light's answer.

"Hmm…I suppose that will do," he said, seeming a bit disappointed. But he quickly got over it and faced Light once again. "You understand Raito-kun that I have little experience with laughing. I know only the very basics. Laughing is a way of expressing amusement. It is also used to express scorn at someone you disapprove of. It usually feels good when I laugh. I've started doing it only recently…" L's large dark eyes shifted to Light and stayed pinned on him like a vice. They were strangely magnetizing and intense, as if he blamed Light directly for this new development. Light felt his throat tighten.

"I like laughing. I want to know more about it. I want to know what makes other people laugh. I want to know the different kinds of laughter. And I want to know what it is that makes me laugh." His gaze never left Light, and in fact seemed to intensify. "I want to know what makes Raito-kun laugh too. And why he laughs."

Light tore his gaze away. He had too. He doubted he could have stood L's intensity any more. It would have torn him apart like gravity. He let out a small chuckle.

"You certainly are odd Lawliet," he said. "But we're free now. So you can research anything you want. Even if it is something as boring as laughter." Light was holding his chin up high and gazing superiorly away from L as if the smaller man wasn't worth his time. As such, he had no idea what L was thinking, or how he reacted to his comment.

"Boring…" L mumbled. "…then you certainly won't find the other four projects of mine very interesting." Feeling almost as if he'd been struck, or stung somehow, Light turned to face L, but the paler man was already turned and walking away back into the living room. He went to gather the plates left on the coffee table.


	3. Pancakes

**Author's Note:** All right! I'm very excited! This is starting to heat up a little bit! I just know you're all going to love this next section.

-------------------------

L woke up the next day craving chocolate. Not just any chocolate would satisfy this precise type of craving. He needed dark chocolate. The darkest chocolate he could find. He wanted Hershey's special dark. The one with 80 coca in it. Yeah. That one. L knew he had that exact specific bar hidden in the kitchen.

L clambered up into a squatted sitting position on top of his bed and looked around his room. Even though he'd been there for an entire eight days, going into nine, it still felt so very strange. This was not a hotel room. This was not a secret base. This was an apartment. And this room he sat in, which looked so very much like any other room with four walls and windows, was in fact entirely different. Because this was a bedroom. A real bedroom.

L could count the times he'd slept in a real bedroom. He had not had one at the orphanages. He'd shared a rather huge room with fifteen or so other children in most. And after Watari adopted him, they were almost always on the move. He'd stayed in one with Watari for a little while in the very beginning. That had been the only time. But even then, L understood that it was temporary. This was not. He would stay at this apartment, for however long he felt it necessary. This room he was in right now, was _his_ room.

It had little to nothing in it. He had no personal possessions. He had four light blue walls, a bed with a dark blue comforter and a small dresser with about seven outfits in it, only three of which he really wore. There was also a nightstand and a lamp. That was all. The room was rather bare; there was nothing on the walls. There were no curtains. It was in fact, emptier then the hotel rooms had been.

But it was his.

This very fact almost drowned away his sudden desire for chocolate. He almost forgot all about chocolate. He felt sudden so overcome that even his precious sugar could not compare with this feeling.

He felt so many things now that he was in America. There were hundreds of things he didn't understand. Hundreds of things to be discovered. And a million more that he experienced for the first time everyday. It was wonderful, and horrible all at once.

L could not even begin to attempt to describe the joy it brought him to feel things. But it was also agony. There were dozens of times a day where he was sure all of these new emotions would tear him apart with their power. He was hardly used to having such powerful things inside of him. It was nearly unbearable as it was wonderful. He was desperate for more all the time, and yet he wanted nothing more then for it to stop.

On the outside, L gave no indication of this torrential tidal wave inside of him. He sat as quietly as ever curled on top of his mattress and blankets, arms clasped around his knees. His face was solid and unmoving, his expression almost stony. His black eyes did not focus on anything in the room.

Judging by the intensity of the light coming in through his naked windows, L deduced that it was still very early in the morning. Perhaps six or so. He was starting to sleep a little later each day. He used to wake around five.

His mind unwillingly wandered to Watari. Mainly because L knew that once he stepped outside of his bedroom, he would be alone. Light did not wake until at least eight, usually more nearer to nine.

L also knew that once he left his bedroom, he would find himself with nothing to do. Watari would have solved both of these issues. He was always up when L was up and he was always there for company. What was more was that he would provide snacks and ask L how he slept even though he knew that the answer was 'not well' every morning. Then, after a speedy breakfast, L would get straight to work.

None of that would be happening.

L's craving for dark chocolate became suddenly severe. He knew very well that it was linked to the sudden loneliness he was feeling. It was also linked to the feeling of uselessness.

_What is my purpose? What meaning is there if I'm not putting criminals in the electrical chair? _It was the only meaning in his life. It had been his sole purpose. Without it, L was more then lost. He felt almost like he was not himself. As if he was hollow inside.

_What a fool I was…to crave freedom. What freedom is this?_ L's body let off a very slight tremor. Then he swung his legs over the side of his bed and let his bare feet come in contact with the soft carpet.

He went to his door and pulled it open stepping out into the small hall that would lead him to the living room. L was immediately surprised by an odd smell. It was wafting through the apartment and filling most every available air space. L sniffed it faintly. It didn't smell bad. In fact, he sort of enjoyed it a little. He did not recognize it however, and quite curious to find out its source, he hurried a bit more quickly down the hall then he would have.

L came out of the hall and into the living room. From there, he could see into the kitchen due to the one wall that was a bar. Through the small opening, he saw Light hard at work over the stove.

L was surprised that Light would be up so early, not to mention cooking something. He had not calculated to waking up this way. Without so much as a word, L shuffled carefully into the kitchen, his shoulders hunched, his curved spine keeping him from standing up straight. Very curious, L moved to Light's side, standing just beside him so that he could peer into the frying pan Light had a hand on.

Light's eyes flickered to L and he smiled in a sly manner. L knew that Light had planned this and had known L would come to inspect. Still…L no longer cared as much about weather or not Light had planned something, or plotted a scheme. L knew this was most likely because whatever plots Light made were not created to kill him. Maybe a practical joke. But that was the most harm L had to worry about.

That was one thing that was very nice about this new life. L enjoyed the closeness he suddenly had with Light Yagami.

"Pancakes," came Light's voice. L blinked looking at him, and then glanced back into the pan. Yes. They were pancakes. There was a bowl of a soupy mixture next to the stove and next to that was a plate of already finished cakes. Light was on his sixth.

L knew immediately what Light's little plan was the moment he saw six pancakes. Light wanted to try and make L eat something other then a dark chocolate Hershey bar for breakfast. That was why he'd gotten up so early: to make sure L didn't eat anything beforehand.

This discovery was both amazingly rewarding and also incredibly upsetting. L could not even understand half of the joy he felt at that moment. Light had to have set his alarm clock to make it out of bed before L. L understood how much the younger man valued his sleep. To wake up earlier then he desired was an amazing feat. Not only that, but he had to have planned this in advance. He had to buy the pancake batter at least the night before. Then, on top of this, Light had to cook it all at the proper time, so that L wouldn't eat anything earlier.

It was the nicest thing Light had ever done for him. Ever. In the entire time they'd known each other, Light had never done anything this thoughtful. Normally he was the type to take care of himself, and not bother with trying to care for someone else.

It was an absolutely amazing feeling…to feel like he was worth being cared for.

But it was also quite upsetting as well. This type of display also meant that Light craved control. L had already known this about Light. It was one of his least favorite features about him. Light wanted to control what L ate. He wanted to overstep his bounds and force L to eat something that he perhaps didn't want to eat. L knew Light. He would not take no for an answer. Not after all this hard work. When Light decided on something and worked for it, he finished it, no matter who was in his way. It would not matter what L wanted at this point. It was too late in his plans. Now it was about controlling the morning, and controlling L.

L would not be controlled.

"I know you have a large appetite Raito-kun, but do you really think you'll eat that many?" L asked the question innocently enough. Light glanced over his shoulder at the older man. L hadn't changed yet and was in a white tee-shirt and blue boxers. Light on the other hand looked like he'd already showered and was ready for the day. He chuckled.

"No. You're going to help me." It wasn't a question. L did not like the demand.

"That's kind of you Raito-kun, but I'm afraid I don't like pancakes." It was the truth. It was flour and tasted much like bread. It certainly wasn't a sugar product. Light's grin only grew.

"Oh, you'll like them when I'm done with them. You just wait." L did wait. But entirely out of curiosity. He watched Light cook up the rest of the batter. Then he watched as he turned off the stove and put the pan in the sink for later. Then, L's eyes grew large as Light pulled out of an upper cabinet: syrup, powdered sugar, processed strawberry sugar sauce, regular sugar, whipped cream and chocolate syrup. He put all of them onto the counter.

L eyed the ingredients with awe. Involuntarily, his mouth started to water. He quickly swallowed to try and hide the reaction, but Light noticed. He laughed in his usual way.

"Told ya you'd like em." L didn't respond. He only watched as Light took out a plate. Light drizzled on some chocolate syrup first. Then he put on some strawberry sauce. Then he laid one pancake on top of the already soaked plate. On top of that pancake, he put more of the same ingredients, only he added regular syrup as well. Then he stacked on a second pancake On top of that, he drizzled more of these three ingredients. Then he dusted it with some powdered sugar.

L stared, his black eyes wide with wonder. Maybe Light hadn't done this out of selfishness at all. Maybe it wasn't about control.

"R…Raito-kun, that…that's enough. I won't eat more then that." But Light wasn't listening. He stacked on a third pancake. This one was the queen. He put all the ingredients he had on it, dusting it with sugar on top of the syrups. Then on top of it all, he finished with a nice, big, spiral of whipped cream. It looked almost like a regular cake. There was no hint of health left in that stack at all.

Light lifted the plate in his hands then and turned to face L who was practically trembling from the creation he had just witnessed. Light grinned quite cockily. Clearly he was proud of himself.

"Want some pancakes Lawliet?" L blinked in something close to shock. Was he dreaming? Maybe he hadn't woken up yet and he was still in bed? Surely that was the explanation.

"R…Raito-kun, why…why did you do this?" An odd expression played across Light's face when L had asked that question. L wasn't quite sure what the expression was, or what it meant. But quickly, Light's usual firm resolve took over.

"I've decided that you have to eat more properly. You had nothing at all but junk yesterday while I was gone. You're thin and pale and if you're not careful you're going to get sick. You're at least sleeping a little better now, but nutrition is the key. I don't expect you to jump right on in, so I thought this might be an easy start. Underneath all of this garbage is actually three real pancakes. There's got to be some nutrients in that."

L gaped, his mouth falling open in utter astonishment. Light had done this because…he was concerned about his diet? He'd done this because he was…worried about his health?

_He's worried about me?_ L thought back to yesterday and the discussion they'd had about his sugar addiction. He hadn't realized Light had been that serious. Light truly wanted L to be healed of his affliction. And L knew what Light was thinking, and he knew it was true. It wasn't healthy. Not physically or mentally. But L had always been too afraid to try. Without the sugar to keep it at bay…it hurt inside. There was much pain. A lot of it that L was sure he'd forgotten. He was afraid of these deeply buried things and didn't want to bring them back up. He did not want to suffer.

But at the same time…he recognized that he was suffering right now. He understood just how sick he really was. His mind had been warped. But it had been warped in such a way…that he was a genius. If he tried to fix it, if he tried to correct it all…would he lose his talents?

There was really no way to tell. A person's mind was far too intricate to solve. Current memories were connected to older memories. Older memories were connected to smells, sight and sounds. Those were connected to things a person couldn't even remember. The subconscious was a vast, unending place.

_I'm wired in a ludicrous way. _L thought. _But it works. Like a computer that is wired wrong. It strains with excess or too little power, the screen may flicker and it will be on the frits with bugs and such…but it works. If a person tried to correct the problem…there's no guarantee that the computer will turn back on._

And then it was all too much all over again. Just like everyday had been since he'd come to America. He simply felt too many things. It was overwhelming. He didn't know weather to be overjoyed, or angry that Light would dare mess with something as amazing as his miswired mind. L didn't know what to think or feel or do. He gazed from the pancakes up to Light's face. Light was waiting for an answer. But L just didn't know how to give it. Did he want this? What was it he wanted anyway?

All L knew was that whatever was happening to him these past few days, hurt. It hurt more at times then others. And right now, it hurt horribly. But there was an odd sense of healing in this pain. Somehow, L was sure it was good, despite how much he hated it. He hated feeling it, but was sure it was making him better. In some weird way, it was mending him. Was this just a tiny portion of what he would go through if he accepted this challenge?

"You mean…give up sugar entirely?" The question had come timidly, and L heard his own fear in his voice. He cursed internally. He certainly didn't want Light to know he was afraid. Well…it was too late now. He'd given himself away. Light frowned at the question.

"I didn't think that far ahead. I just thought that we'd give it a shot. A real and genuine shot. We won't be able to decide something like that until much later on." L stared at Light unblinking. Was it possible? Could this actually happen? Could he possibly be cured of a deeply rooted physiological affliction that he'd had literally his entire life, since infancy? Would it be possible to be happy without sugar? Would it be possible to feel like he was worth something?

L's face started to contort as he thought about that answer. No. He really didn't think it was possible. Not without the proper support. And Watari wasn't there. Light would not be understanding enough. He didn't understand exactly what he was asking of him. He didn't know what it meant, how deep this affected L. L had just begun to shake his head negatively when Light interrupted him.

"Lawliet…I know it's possible," he said, arguing against the exact words L had thought. "We'll go really _really_ slowly. This will be the only meal of the day that's controlled. OK? The rest of the day, you eat how you usually do. And every time you have a sugar product, make a tally on a piece of paper. We'll see just how much you eat a day. Then we can cut out just one tomorrow and see how that goes for a few days. OK? Does that sound so bad?"

L stared at Light, his black eyes absolutely huge. Light was being so…kind.

_I'm dreaming…_ Came L's thoughts again. _This isn't real. Light doesn't care for me this much. The real Light would make fun of me, or try to bait me. Maybe this is all a horrible joke._ At that thought, L's heart twisted in his chest. If this were a joke, L knew it would be critically damaging. He didn't know if he could even stand up to such a horrible blow.

_No! That's Kira. This is not Kira. This is Light Yagami. Light Yagami _does_ care for me. That's why he's doing this. He's not trying to hurt me…_ But L couldn't feel entirely certain about that. There was always a chance, that Kira hadn't been entirely killed so soon after the move. He could have been lurking inside of his first-ever-friend, just waiting for a tender moment such as this to strike.

And without sugar…how could he ever cope with that?

L shook his head "no" suddenly and almost wildly. His hand rose to his mouth and his forefinger found its way into his mouth where he began chewing it fitfully. His black eyes stared straight ahead at seemingly nothing.

L saw Light's face plummet through the corner of his eye. He hated to disappoint him, but was much more afraid of pain.

"You don't trust me to help you through this, do you Lawliet?" L didn't answer. It was true. He didn't. Light turned back to the counter, putting down the amazingly delicious pancakes he'd just made. Then, much to L's surprise, he started to move forward. He came toward him, each step being placed firmly, solidly on the linoleum. L did not move or back away. He wouldn't be controlled.

Light came right up in front of him, stopping only a few inches away. He stared down into L, unyielding. L stared right back, meeting the challenge head on. He wouldn't be moved.

"Lawliet…" Light lifted his hand and his fingers moved toward L's face. L flinched automatically in anticipation of touch. Light froze when he saw it, his hand stopping in midair. His almond brown eyes softened and filled with…dare L say…sadness?

"Lawliet…I know a little more then you think. I know how heavy this really is." He lowered his hand back to his side. "When you were in the hospital…when you had that…that _thing_ in your throat…I came by to visit you. Watari told me not to come, that you weren't in a state to see me. He explained that because of your crushed windpipe, and the fact that you couldn't eat solids, you were in a bad way. He told me you didn't want to see me, that you couldn't see me. I went anyway, against his request."

L's eyes widened. He knew exactly where this was going. He already knew the ending of Light's explanation and he didn't want to hear it.

"When I got there…I saw what several days without any sugar at all could do to you. I saw what it meant. I looked in through the door while Watari was visiting and…and I saw you…curled up at tight as could be…sobbing. I...I'd never seen you cry like that before. I know how strong you are. So I know how much it must have been hurting you."

L inhaled sharply suddenly as if something icy cold were pressed into his neck.

"Raito-kun…stop it…" Light suddenly leaned forward, invading L's space. L leaned backward away from him, not liking the dominating effect Light was accomplishing by moving in so tightly. The younger man gazed almost harshly.

"Lawliet…I think this is the right thing. I want to help. And the only way to do that is to finally, _finally_ wean you off of sugar." L felt something erratic happen inside of his chest. His heart picked up pace and within only half a blink it was pounding. The force of such blood pumping through his usually lazy veins was unnerving. It made his head hurt. Things were suddenly hazy.

L had always wanted to get himself off of his sugar kick. He knew it was the right thing. Light didn't have to tell him that. But it was still a terrifying concept. But now…now with this sudden promise…it didn't seem so horrible. Light was…promising to help. He said he'd _wanted_ to help.

_Maybe…I _do_ have the support after all…_ That thought was comforting. Light was acting like…well…a friend. L hadn't expected it. He hadn't expected it at all. But if Light could be this thoughtful now, what was to say he wouldn't be later on when it truly mattered?

Light stood back up, giving L his breathing room back. He turned and stepped away from L, heading back toward the pancakes. L straightened himself to the best of his ability, amazed that his racing heart was suddenly slowing again.

Light reached the pancakes and picked them back up. He faced L for a second time, smiling.

"What do ya say? You wanna tackle this beast once and for all?" It was something in the way Light had said it. It was something in the way he was smiling and it was something in the way he held the pancakes out to L, offering them to him. For a split second, L was sure everything would work out, that everything would be ok.

And so, he moved forward, accepting the plate into his pale, thin hands.

"This looks delicious Raito-kun," L said in his usual tones. He knew he didn't need to give a "yes" or "no." Light understood his answer. They would tackle the sugar addiction. L was willing to take the risk.


	4. Gnawing Hunger

**Author's Note:** Ok, so I've really been getting into L's inner turmoil in this one. I'm starting to think that a lot of this story is going to involve L's past and the way he's trying to deal with it now that he actually has the time to do things like "feel." Of course, I'm betting Light's going to take a big part in helping him out! We'll see soon enough!

Light had to go to the aquarium after that for training. Both men had scoffed at the idea. They knew that Light Yagami needed no training. Especially for a job as trivial as a tour guide. The idea was so ludicrous that they even had a few laughs about it. L made sure to note the things that made Light laugh the most for his research. Light liked sarcasm, something L knew he was not very good at. Still, it helped his personal project.

L had eaten most of the pancakes he had been given, but as promised he did not finish them. Three was simply too much. He was not used to full meals, but rather smaller, shorter snacks. As such, his stomach had not grown to encompass such large quantities of food.

Still, it had been good.

Light left after taking care of the dishes and promising to be back much earlier then scheduled. He estimated around two in the afternoon. L estimated one. He was too smart to be there for the entirety of his training. He would soon outwit them all and find a way to leave early while still ensuring his job's position. Even so…one o'clock was a long time to be alone.

L found himself as he found himself yesterday: isolated and with absolutely nothing to do with himself. He did the requirements necessary to take up time. He showered, washed himself, went to the bathroom and drank some water. With these needs met and taken care of in only half an hour, he became quickly bored.

L found himself wishing that his linguist job would start soon…but he had until Monday for that. And it was only Thursday. He was not looking forward to Friday. Light would be going in for more training, and they'd most likely keep him longer. L knew he would have to find entertainment before then, or risk going mad.

_Never mind that, I need entertainment _now.

L glanced back at the TV. That had been a disaster. It didn't fill his needs at all. And in fact, all it had done was make him want to lash out like a child when Light had returned home. L knew better then to try it out again. It may have worked for regular people, but he simply could not find it interesting.

He glanced at the computer, hoping in vain for some work to do. But it gave him no promises. There was no work. If he got onto the familiar machine now, he would only be sitting uselessly.

L had a sudden craving for a pastry.

He sighed meekly, and then looked to the door of the apartment. He'd been too afraid to try going outside the day before. He was not really used to being outside. Especially not alone. The last few times he had tried, it had ended in disaster. And he had even been with Light during those times.

L regretfully remembered the gang that had almost killed him. If it hadn't been for Light and Watari…

L shrunk away from the front door. No. He could not go out. The people would make trouble for him surely. If he wasn't targeted and attacked by one group or another, then he would at the very least be made uncomfortable. People would stare and point. They would laugh at his oddities. L didn't like the way he felt when people did those things. He'd been dealing with these types of things for most of his life, and he'd decided some time ago that the best rout was simply to avoid situations such as those. Why put himself through it again?

He walked away from the door and instead toward the window. He stopped with his white nose just in front of the pane of glass. Even though it was late summer, the glass was almost always cool, and as such, his breath stained it frosted in a small circle in front of where he stood. It didn't disrupt his view, so L looked out.

There stretched before him was Centennial Olympic Park. It seemed huge and vast in its green glory, even surrounded by the dismal and much more overpowering gray of the city. The grass and trees contained inside of it were promising of life. L could see many people walking up and down the various paths that lead in and out of the park. They wound their way around trees, ponds and small trickling streams. All were man-made of course. But it all still looked pretty enough. The creators of the park had done a good job of making it looks both welcoming, and somewhat natural. L supposed the word he was looking for was charming. There weren't a lot of charming things left to describe in the world. He was at least somewhat glad to find one of them.

L spotted a small family seated by one of the fountains. There was a mother, a father and a small girl of about five or so. The little girl wore a bright green summer dress, and had a head full of messy, bouncy red hair. Full of the curiosity of that age, she reached a hand toward one of the water jets, her large eyes full of wonder. Seeing as the water jet was shooting out of a deeper fountain that the girl could fall into, her mother pulled her back. The father leaned over then and seemed to scold the small girl in a gentle way. For a second she looked like she might cry, but then her father smiled and her mother said something L could not hear. The girl laughed.

L felt something twist inside of him. He didn't like his sudden position. He wanted to hear what the family was saying to one another. He wanted to be included in their conversation. Watching them, their mouths moving, their eyes crinkling, and not being able to understand was suddenly frustrating. He felt like he was intruding on something special. Something an outsider such as himself wasn't supposed to, or wasn't allowed to be a part of.

He identified his sudden feeling as jealousy. That was strange. It was an odd thing to be jealous of. Still…he understood perfectly well why he felt these things. It only made sense. Still…he did not like it. It hurt. He recognized this particular type of pain. It was a deep gnawing hunger. The worst kind.

L gently raised a thin hand to the window, resting the tips of his white fingers on the cool glass, just on top of the happy family that sat in the grass far beneath him in the park. But this did not help. In fact, it seemed to make that gnawing sensation so much worse. L quickly snatched his hand back and away as if the family had burned him.

He needed a candy bar. Immediately. Before his insides twisted and squirmed around so much that they got tangled and became unable to unwind themselves. He needed the candy bar before his heart found a way to contort along with the rest of his organs.

L had just been about to turn away from the window to drown himself in sugar, when he noticed the couple that had just entered the park. There was a taller man with brown hair and a shorter, slim woman with blonde hair. They were holding hands.

For just a moment, they caught L's interest. He watched them as they swayed along the winding path they walked on. They seemed like they belonged in the park. Like they had grown there, like flowers. Perhaps they had simply sprouted out of the ground one morning.

They wound around trees, stopped at places that contained flowers, and observed the water as it trickled by. Then, when they reached a bench, they stopped and sat down together. They started talking then, but L couldn't hear what they said. Just like with the family by the fountain, he felt almost like he wasn't a part of their world. He was disconnected, unable to hear their precious words.

What did lovers say to one another? What was it that made them smile like that? Why did they glow? Was it just because they were together? If so, then why was being together so very special? Was it hormones? Surely not, or that girl down there would smile like that for any man booming with testosterone. So then why was that man special to her?

L watched them for a few moments, trying to come up with a few answers to his questions. The woman was laughing now at something the man had said to her. Why? A joke? A story? L couldn't tell from his isolated place inside the tall tower of glass.

The woman's laughter died away, and suddenly the couple was sitting very close, their thighs touching. The man reached over and took the woman's hand in his. He held it in a tender way that. How did he know just how to hold his lovers hand?

The man whispered something to the woman who suddenly blushed. Her face was entirely different now. Now she stared at the man beside her with a sort of glow. Her eyes had grown larger and her face more serene. Then, slowly, and gently, the man took her into his arms. The two came together and shared a tender looking kiss.

Feeling like he was suddenly invading their privacy, L turned quickly away from the window as if he'd witnessed something heinous. He pressed his back against it and instead stared out at the living room before him. The living room didn't say anything to him, or his suddenly red face.

L noticed that his heart was racing again for the second time that day. But it didn't feel like it had this morning. This time it seemed to beat with a type of pain. The same gnawing need that he had felt when watching the family had returned, only this time it seemed much much worse.

_It's because these are things I can never have._ He thought in misery. _Things that I want more then anything! And here I am, with nothing better to do with my time then wallow in them!_

L felt his twisted organs suddenly tighten like a vice. It was almost physically painful and he winced, his thin mouth curving into a grimace. He knew he would never be a part of a family like the one down below. And he certainly would never be a part of something so tender as with the kissing couple. No one could love him like that. No one could ever look at him like that.

_Cake_. He thought. _Cake will fix this._ But L knew it would not. It would put a Band-Aid on the problem. It would put a stick-on Band-Aid on his open wounds. And that Band-Aid would be rendered useless the moment he was done eating.

Still…L had little choice. The desperation he was feeling was bubbling up to an almost unbearable degree. If he didn't eat soon…it would overwhelm him. He knew he needed a distraction. Something nice and difficult to think about. Difficult in an intellectual way, not in an emotional way. L did not like thinking about this type of difficult thing. It was the reason he suddenly felt so ill.

He tore himself away from the window and finally headed toward the kitchen. He was starving. He thought he might have both the pastry and the cake he had wanted. But only after eating the candy bar.


	5. Epiphany

**Author's Note:** So…this is heating up a little! I'm surprised at how very _very_ fast this story is writing itself. And I'm also equally surprised at how quickly L and Light's relationship is developing. After the drama and trauma of this scene, I'm thinking things are going to rocket out of control. The boys are both seemingly filled with all sorts of torrents of emotion that they just don't know how to deal with. It's becoming stressful to write!

Light had gotten out of training much later then he had wanted. But it wasn't due to a lack of genius by any means. No, of course not. As usual, it had been all L's fault.

Light was pretty pissed about the whole thing. The entire time he was at training, L's little sugar problem occupied his mind. Instead of concentrating on work, and outwitting the other members of the aquarium, Light had been thinking about sweets. Because of that, he wasn't as sharp as he should have been. Dare he say, he was only slightly above average. He had not been genius today.

As such, he only got out a little bit early. Instead of two as he predicted, he got out at four. It was still two hours earlier then scheduled, but it wasn't good enough for Light. Not a man of his intellect. He deserved better. He could have ruled the world for God's sake! He should certainly not have been working as a tour guide at an aquarium.

Light wondered for a moment about why he had agreed to this in the first place. Ruling the world was looking pretty glamorous right about now. Especially when he smelled like dead fish.

"Ugh!" He groaned out loud. Nothing was worse than dead fish. And he'd been handling them all day in order to feed the larger animals like the beluga whales. The whales weren't so bad in themselves, but the fish sure as hell were. And putting up with his superiors was not so easy either. It was very difficult to listen to someone who he knew was three times dumber then he was. But he couldn't argue. This was a job. He knew how jobs worked. Ingenuity and brains meant nothing. The noobies were supposed to listen to the seniors and that was all. Period. That was what a job was. And Light hated it.

_Why aren't I ruling the world as a God again? Why aren't I controlling every being on earth? Why aren't I making the world a better place using the power I'd given up? _He knew his pathetic answer. L Lawliet. He'd given it all up. Not for life or for freedom or for the promise of escaping the electrical chair as he had first convinced himself; he'd given it all up for him, for L. All of this had been for L. Leaving Japan, coming to America, living in Atlanta. And why? Why did he ever do something so stupid?

Light tried to piece that together for a second. He certainly didn't _like_ L all that much. He was infuriating, annoying, and even pestilent at times. He was messy and sloppy. Two things Light absolutely _hated!_ And the way he managed to outsmart him from time to time was excruciating.

Light decided he'd agreed with L's plans to save his own hide after all. He'd come because it was either come to America with L, or die in the electrical chair. The game had been up after all. L had figured him out.

Light sighed, satisfied with his answer for the time being. Using his walk home as his time to think, Light found himself already through the park by the time he came out of his brain. Crossing the street, he stepped into his apartment building. As he had the day before, he took the elevator up to the seventeenth floor and stepped out into the hall. He took his keys and unlocked the entranceway to his apartment. He stepped inside.

Light didn't call out or announce that he was home. That just wasn't his style. He instead laid his keys on the small table beside the door and stepped further into the apartment. He froze and let out a startled gasp when the kitchen way to his left came in view. His almond eyes widened with shock.

Littering the entire kitchen were candy wrappers, plates, empty containers of icing, empty bottles of chocolate sauce and syrups and bowls of eaten ice cream. The one room was more of a wreck then the living room ever was the day before. It was beyond outrageous. It looked almost like a dump!

Light's entire body froze at the horrid mess. His insides squirmed. _I hate mess! I hate mess! I hate it!_ He was ready to find L and kill him. Every bone in his body burned with fury. This was beyond unacceptable! Light inhaled deeply, ready to bellow L's name when he heard a soft groan rise weakly from somewhere in the kitchen.

The anger disappeared instantaneously. It melted like cotton candy in the rain and taking up its place was a sudden fear.

"Lawliet?" He looked around the room, but at first didn't see him.

"…over…here…" came the weak reply. Light immediately knew something was wrong. L's voice had wavered. It sounded much more pathetic than usual. Plus, the skinny roommate wasn't rising to meet him, but instead had called out as if for help.

Light hurried into the kitchen. Once he moved around the small table they had, he found his fallen friend.

There L lay on the cold linoleum, curled up more tightly then Light had ever seen him before. Wrappers, plates and bowls were scattered around him like parts to a junked car. Light could scarcely believe all of the junk food evidence he was witnessing. But his focus, right now, was on L.

L looked absolutely miserable. He was whiter than usual. Any color he had gained since coming to America was gone. Curled up tight, he clutched his knees with pale knuckles. His face, although not entirely unguarded, revealed a great deal of pain. It was scrunched up and easy to read even with his nose pressed into his knees. His black hair a total mess, L slowly shifted his gaze to glance at Light as he came in.

"…I couldn't stop…" His voice betrayed his pain as well. And so did his large black eyes. Light felt his heart twist. That hot anger from before was completely and utterly gone as he hurried even further into the kitchen and fell to his knees beside his roommate. He was still angry, but it was a much different kind of fire.

"You idiot!" L flinched visibly, but did not turn away from Light's harsh gaze. "What the hell were you thinking? Even _you_ can't handle this much sugar! Ugh! Never mind sugar, no human being could handle this amount of food, never mind it being total junk! You're a genius for pity's sake! You must have known it would end like this!" L didn't respond. He only watched as Light furiously began snatching up wrappers. But seemingly unwilling to get up or leave L's side, he simply started piling them to the side.

"Why would you do something so stupid Lawliet? Why?" L flinched a second time at the forbidden word used, but he didn't protest. It was an appropriate term for the situation, and he knew Light wasn't trying to be cruel. He was just very upset.

Through the horrible pain his body was in, L struggled to answer.

"I told you…I couldn't stop…" He wanted to explain more. But that was difficult. He'd always been bad at expressing himself forward and outright. But now it was near impossible. His stomach was burning and it felt like a knife was stuck inside of it. With the incredible pain, it was hard to say anything without risking throwing up. Or…maybe throwing up wouldn't be such a bad thing…if it got rid of the pain.

Light froze in his frantic cleaning when L spoke. He turned and looked to the skinny man. Still on his knees by his side, Light inspected him.

Light was sure he understood without explanation. It was the same exact thing that had happened the day before, only this time, L had not tried to distract himself with daytime TV. Having nothing at all to do, he had resorted to this bingeing in order to try and drown himself. His feelings must have overwhelmed him being all alone and with no work.

He'd been lonely. And God only knew what loneliness had led to. Light was sure that it was a gateway to thousands of other horrible things he didn't yet understand. All Light knew at that moment, was that L had been suffering so much, that even when it started to hurt…even when his body began rejecting the sugar he was feeding it, he couldn't stop. He had simply been unable to.

Light's face contorted. He gazed down at L pitifully. L's face contorted, and finally, he turned his eyes away from Light.

"Don't…" But he didn't need to finish that sentence as it was bit off by the pain in his abdomen. Light understood. He didn't want to be pitied. But it wasn't something Light could help. He did pity L. And he felt sorry. And he felt terrible in every way. With L lying there on the floor like that, in pain and helpless, it was impossible not to pity him. Light could not control these things.

"This sugar problem…it's much more serious than I thought," Light admitted. "I'm sorry if I didn't understand what I was suggesting this morning Lawliet…" L was quiet for a moment, seemingly unable to speak due to his physical pain. His hands moved away from his knees and instead disappeared in between the fold of his curled form. He clutched his stomach, his face contorting in misery.

"You…still….don't fully…comprehend…" he said through sudden ragged breath. Light wanted to argue. But he knew he could not. He was sure L was right. This problem L had…was much deeper then he could ever comprehend. It went deeper, he was sure, then even L himself could understand. If L had it since infancy…it would be nearly impossible to pull out of his psyche.

Light's expression suddenly hardened. It was all the more reason to go through with it. All the more reason to try and cure L of this affliction. Light knew it wasn't right. It wasn't right for L to be helpless against something like food. It wasn't right for the worlds smartest man in all the world to be rendered powerless on the floor and in pain because the sugar he ate didn't fill him.

It wasn't right for L to feel like he was useless.

It wasn't right for L to feel like he was unloved.

Because he was.

Something scary happened then. Light felt his heart give off a small jolt. It was much like that caffeine buzz feeling, only more powerful. Much more powerful. Ten times as powerful, because he finally understood what it meant. He understood. And that was the most horrifying thing he'd ever experienced in his life.

The shock of it was so great that Light suddenly leapt to his feet, back and away from L as if he were a deadly poison that could infect him. He stood, his almond eyes huge with horror at his sudden discovery. His skin paled and his complexion became a sickly gray. His feet were planted apart, knees slightly bent, and hands frozen in the air as if he were a classic figure in a horror movie that had just seen a ghost.

_Not everything I did in the investigation room was an act…_

Light stared down at L with absolute disgust. He stared at him as if he were something putrid, something heinous, something that shouldn't even exist on this Earth. Frozen and unable to speak, he only stared with utter and complete revulsion.

L, unable to move from his place on the floor, gazed up at Light with both confusion and shock. Light's sudden reaction seemed triggered by absolutely nothing. He had been himself just a moment ago, and now he was acting as if he'd seem something as horrible as, say, a murder.

But the thing that was most disturbing was the way he was looking at L. L blinked his large eyes. He looked to himself. He was aware that he did not look well. He was sick after all. But this wasn't a surprise to Light. Light had already seen his state. Why would it be shocking now? Logic said it wouldn't.

So then Light had to be surprised by something new. But the problem here was that nothing new had entered the room in the past few moments. The scenery had not changed. Unable to piece anything together in the horrible pain he was in, L looked back to Light, concern and confusion written across his pain riddled face.

"Raito-kun…what's the matter?" he asked weakly.

Light didn't answer right away. He only continued to stare at the fallen, skinny man on the kitchen floor.

_How has this happened?_ He thought desperately. _How is it even possible? He's disgusting! Look at him! Lying on the floor in his own filth! He's helpless! He's pale and sickly! His hair is always a mess! He never brushes it! He sits like an ape! He eats like a retard! He's boney! He's ungraceful! He's a weirdo! An oddball! A freak! There isn't even the slightest thing attractive about him! And what should have kept this from happening, the most important thing is that he's a __**MAN!**_

L continued to stare up at Light with those huge, black eyes of his. His pain riddled face becoming more concerned by the moment.

"Raito-kun?"

_Oh God! The way he says that! It's so wrong! So wrong in every way! Why does he say it like that? How long have I enjoyed him saying it like that? How long have I felt this way? Have I just been in denial? No…I defiantly hated his guts just a moment ago! It can't switch on a dime can it? That's not possible! But a few days ago, all we did was fight! Can I simply be attracted because he's helpless at the moment? It's no secret that I am a control freak. Is it just because I can control him when he's weak? Is it really just lust for power? _

His mind was racing. He didn't know what to do. How could it be true?

"Raito-kun?" L's tones were growing more concerned by the moment. In fact he seemed so worried now that he was trying to sit up. L uncurled his arms from where they'd been clutching his stomach and he put them out onto the tiled floor. He very weakly, and with a shaking body, began to push himself up into a sitting position. His face strained, and then contorted with pain. His stomach lurched and he let out a sudden and weak cry before collapsing back to the floor.

There he stayed, panting heavily from his failed efforts. His mouth open, his cheeks pink and his eyes half closed with weariness, it was not hard to suddenly imagine him somewhere other than a linoleum floor.

Light felt a sudden heat that was more petrifying than anything else he'd just discovered. The terror was simply too much. He suddenly turned and ran out of the room as if the apartment were full of mustard gas.

L watched from the floor, unable to stop him, or do anything of use.

"Raito-kun! Where are you going?" He cried. But the front door had already slammed shut behind his fleeing form. L stared at the doorway where his roommate had vanished, his black eyes wide with disbelief. For a second, he simply sat in shock.

But then, his insides twisted.

_Why?_ He thought with sudden desperation._ Why did he look at me that way? Like I was filth?_ The sudden pain that filled him was nearly unbearable. It hurt much, much worse than his stomach ache. It was ten times, no, twenty times worse. The idea of Light hating him…or thinking he was garbage.

This sudden and new pain filled him so quickly, so completely that it was impossible to suppress. His racing heart spasmed as if struck with a blow. L for a moment, thought of going after Light. Racing after him, catching him and demanding to know why. But his stomach gave off a sharp and horrid stab.

With a small cry, L curled back up in his original position on the floor. He simply was not well enough to chase after him. He couldn't move. His body wouldn't let him.

He then had the absurd idea that all he had to do was wait for a moment, and Light would come back. Surely he'd be back in just a moment. After all, he wouldn't leave him here like this, would he? Would Light leave him, sick and unable to move on the kitchen floor? Surely not. He cared for him…right? He was his friend.

But L was not so sure. He'd never been sure. That was why he was in such turmoil since they'd come to America. He didn't know. He couldn't believe. It was too hard. He'd been hurt and betrayed to many times before. How could he believe Light would come back for him now? How could he possibly believe that he cared?

He just ran out on him, didn't he? Knowing that he needed help, that he was ill. So then he didn't care.

L squeezed his eyes shut, trying to block out the pain. The pain that told him he was unwanted. The pain that told him no one cared. The pain that told him…that Light had left him and that he was now all alone again.

L felt that usual sensation. That familiar craving. Despite his objecting body, despite the horrible physical pain he was in, he wanted sugar. A piece of cake or some cookies perhaps. And this craving was just as terrifying as Light having left him. L knew he did not want the sugar. His body would rebel and kill him. But oh…he wanted it. He did. He _needed_ it. Now, more than ever. He needed it to forget that Light had looked at him that way. He needed it to forget that look in his eyes. That horrible look that told him Light thought he was worthless, that he was stupid, that he was a freak. That looked that told him he was not wanted.

But there was no sugar. L was sugarless. There was nothing left in reach. He was not well enough to get the things stashed away in the cabinets. He was not well enough to stand. He could not reach anything. There was nothing there to save him from himself. When Light was there it was ok. Even when he looked at him that way: like he was garbage. It was ok because he was there. L knew he could be garbage if he just stayed. But with him gone…there was nothing.

He squeezed his eyes shut as tightly as he could, even more tightly then he had curled into a ball. He tried to suppress it all. Suppress the pain that was bubbling up inside of him. It told him Light was not coming back. Ever. That he had left him.

"Please!" L cried suddenly out into the empty kitchen. "Please come back!"


	6. The Hug

**Author's Note:** Yes. That's right Light. You have feelings. _FEELINGS!_ You cannot run from feelings! BWAHAHA! On a bit more serious note. I loved writing this chapter. It's full of goodness.

Light was running. He knew exactly what he was running from, but knew that it was something speed could not fix. No matter how fiercely his shoes pounded the pavement, this problem would not be outrun. No matter how quickly the humid Georgia air blew through his chestnut hair, the problem would not be blow away. It was as ominous and as overbearing as when he had left the apartment building moments ago. But still his eyes were wide, his face horror struck.

Light didn't know what to do.

That in itself was also terrifying. His brain would not work. It had been overtaken. His heart had secretly waged war against it unbeknownst to him. And somewhere, it had been working against his knowledge. And now it had won. His brain was utterly defeated. It was useless to him. All he had now was a speeding heart that moved much faster then he was running. And it pounded much more fiercely then his feet.

"Oh my God! Oh God oh God!" He whispered frantically. He just didn't know what to do. So he kept running. There was nothing else _to_ do. He ran down the streets of Atlanta, they were mercifully not as crowded as the streets in Japan. He rarely had to dodge a group of people, or individuals that walked down the sidewalk. He raced between the buildings, flew over crosswalks and cut corners when he felt the need to.

But soon, despite how physically fit he was, he began to tire. A man could run at his top speed only for so long. He quickly began to slow when his lungs began to burn. His chest grew tight and a fierce cramp was forming just under his ribs and that killed his frantic pace more than anything.

Gasping like a fish out of water, Light stopped on a street corner. He hunched over, putting two sweaty hands onto his knees. He vaguely realized that he was still in his aquarium shirt. Hunched as he was, the white "G" with the fish tail stared up at him from a dark blue background.

For a few moments, he simply stood there, wheezing. His body ached and it wouldn't let him do much more until he rested. His jackhammer heart began to slow. It still pounded just as powerfully as when he made his discovery, but it's speed was dropping.

"Oh God…" he whispered again. Coated in sweat due to his run, the summer heat, and the stress, he watched as a bead of it rolled off the tip of his nose and fell to the concrete below. He took in a few more deep breaths of air, and then slowly started to calm. Feeling only slightly better, he cautiously stood.

He glanced around him carefully as if his surroundings would help, as if they held the answer. They didn't. Only glass and stone looked back at him. And the buildings and sidewalks said nothing. There was nothing left to do but address his problem.

_Is it real? Is it really true? Do I love him?_ He felt the same fear pierce him a second time. It was just as sharp and just as sudden as it had been back in the apartment. The only difference was that now he was prepared for it. His breathing hitched once, but he did not run again. He couldn't run again. He knew it wouldn't help.

A couple was coming up to the street corner behind him. Wanting privacy, Light quickly turned and headed away from them. He walked as calmly as he knew how down the streets. He shoved his hands into his jeans pockets, his eyes still bulging with the shock. In vain, he tried to piece together an answer to his question.

He thought back to Japan, to the first time he'd met L. He certainly did not love him then. He wanted nothing more then to kill him. L had been an obstacle, a pawn, and an enemy. So then how had it turned into this?

Light thought about the time L had locked him in a prison cell. Light was sure he still hated him at that time.

When they were chained together…had it happened then?

Light questioned this one for a moment. He certainly hated L in the beginning of that ordeal. But by the time the cuffs had come off…their relationship had been different. But it was not love. Light had still been trying to kill him. But there had been doubts. That was when he'd started doubting Kira.

And after that…the beach? Light admitted that by then, there had been a fondness of L's company. But that had been all. It hadn't been love. Friendship maybe. Maybe by that time, Light had considered L to be his friend, despite his torn decision to as whether to kill him or not.

Then what about that one night? The night L had that nightmare? Light had to admit…he'd felt something then. But it hadn't been prominent. It had been a pang. A pang of compassion perhaps. But Light doubted it was love.

Then what about that other night? That night Light had almost killed him? Almost given into Kira's wishes, almost strangled L's last remaining heartbeat from his body. The night Light had wrapped his hands around L's slender throat.

Yes. Light recalled the guilt. The horrible weight of regret. The true and sharp pain he had felt at seeing L lying there in that hospital bed. He recalled the grief and the agony. The shame of what he'd done. The fear of loosing L, of the possibility of having caused a permanent injury.

It had been then. Light knew that had been the time. He wasn't sure exactly what kind of love it was during that time. Maybe he had loved L as a friend, or a close relative. He wasn't sure. But he had certainly loved him then.

Had he been denying it ever since?

Light shook his head. That part wasn't important. What was important now was that he understood what had happened. Whatever love there was at the hospital had grown and blossomed since that time. It had done so without his knowledge and now it was a larger beast then he would have thought. That was why it had overpowered him and taken him by surprise.

Light stopped walking and shook his head. He closed his eyes and lifted his face to the sky. He just needed a second to get himself under control. He was not used to being shaken. He wasn't scared easily. He had been Kira after all.

But now, all of that was different.

He didn't know if he was brave enough to admit it to himself yet. He certainly couldn't admit to using the "L" word. Light snickered suddenly, a small grin coming to his face. The "L" word. That was ironic.

In desperate need of release, he chuckled at the terrible joke and allowed himself to laugh much more about it then he would have if he were feeling more secure. But the laughter quickly died in his throat.

The question now was what was he going to do?

_Well, I won't say anything to Lawliet, that's a given. There's no way I even want to know if he feels anything like this. I'm not ready for anything like that at all. I don't think I even want it. _He couldn't help himself, he shuddered lightly. The thought was still quite disturbing. No…it was _very_ disturbing.

_I suppose I should act like I always have. I'll just keep an eye on this…this…_feeling_ for a while and see what it does. I'll go back to the apartment with a great excuse and I'll do whatever I think is right at the time. Yeah. Act like normal, don't say anything. _

It seemed like a good plan. He certainly didn't want L to know what had happened inside of him. L…

Thinking of L, Light's eyes suddenly widened with a look of fresh horror.

"Oh shit!" Realizing that he'd left his roommate sick, incapacitated and on the floor, Light turned on his heel and began to race back toward the apartment. All thoughts of his personal problems vanished as new terror engulfed him.

"How could I be so stupid?" Light could scarcely believe himself. He knew very well what kind of state L was in. L needed company, desperately. He needed someone there to stop him from eating anything else. _God help you if you ate more while I was gone Lawliet!_ He thought viciously. The little twerp! He probably already gobbled down three Twinkies! And if he did, he'd be worse off then just sick!

Thoughts of another hospital visit swam through Light's mind. That was the last thing either of them needed right now! Not with all the crazy shit that had been happening!

L needed him there. Perhaps that was part of the contributing factors for his sudden feelings for him. But whatever the reason, it was true that L needed him at least at this moment. L's link to sugar was severe. If Light was not there, then all he had left was his addiction. And Light wasn't going to let it take him a third time in the past two days.

Filled with a fierce will and crazy determination, Light raced all the way back to the apartment just as quickly as he had left it. All the running had practically killed him, but he dared not stop. He raced inside and into the elevator, ignoring burning lungs and a pounding head. He jammed his finger on the number seventeen and the doors slid shut. There, he had a few seconds to rest.

He gasped and wheezed horribly. Thinking his heart might explode from all the running, he silently blamed L. His throat was burning now too.

But then the doors binged and Light was already racing back to their apartment. He hadn't brought his keys and the door had in fact been left unlocked. So Light barged right on in.

"Lawliet!" He screamed. Light was not given an answer. Instead, as he stood still and strained his ears, all he heard was a soft, pitiful, crushing sound coming from the kitchen. It sounded a bit like a cross between a hiccup and a dog's whine. Wasting no time at all, he tore to the left and into the tiled room. There he found L just where he'd left him: curled up into a tight ball on the floor. Only this time…his small body was trembling and his shoulders were shaking. His arms gripped his knees desperately, and his entire face was hidden since it was smashed viciously into his legs. His shoulders let off another shake, and the same pitiful sound escaped him, muffled by his boney knees.

Light's heart broke and his hot, pounding, blood froze as he realized L was sobbing quietly. He stared, unable to move from the shock of the sudden pain he felt. He'd never seen L cry. Only that one time in Japan. But it had been through a crack in the door. And L had Watari with him. Light had never personally seen him cry like this. He'd never been so close that he could witness it all from only a few feet away. He'd never been so close as to hear the small sniffles that escaped the small lungs inside that small body. He'd never been close enough to see how tightly those boney hands gripped at his knees. Light stared as L's small frame was subjected to tremors. He let out another weak sob, and he sounded so hopeless, so broken that Light's heart cracked a second time.

This was all his fault. Light knew he had done this.

Almond eyes filled with a sudden pain he could hardly understand. He did not care if it stemmed from his newly discovered feelings or not. He did not care of the source of this new pain. All he knew was that he had done this to L. He never should have left him when he was in such a desperate state. And now it was all his fault that L was so distressed. It as his fault L was crying.

Light inched forward, his shoes shuffling on the tiled linoleum. And once he was close, Light fell to his knees at L's side for a second time. For a second, he only stared at him piteously. But then L let out another crushing sob. Light hated it. He cried in such a quiet way. As if he didn't want to trouble anyone. But it was painfully clear that he needed someone to trouble.

"…Lawliet…" Light's voice came out so gently, Light hardly recognized himself. Was that really him who'd spoken? Before he even had time to analyze his own tones, or before he knew what he was doing, he reached out a tender hand. He just needed to comfort him. Carefully, he placed it on the shaking man's shoulder.

L flinched. Almost as if he'd been struck. He inhaled sharply, his sobs cut off. Light withdrew his hand, startled, and foolishly afraid that he had hurt L somehow. He stared warily at the shrunken figure.

Slowly, and cautiously, the ball before him began to uncurl. It loosened up just enough for L to lift his head. His raven black hair fell across his forehead as L lifted his gaze to his roommate.

Even though he was prepared for it, Light was still stunned to see that pair of huge, knowledgeable eyes glimmering with pain. He was shocked to see the red cheeks, the falling tears. But most of all, he was stunned by the expression L wore. He looked so much like an abused child that it took every bone in Light's body not to sob himself.

"…Raito-kun…" L said it in an airy, exasperated way. Light immediately knew that for some reason, despite L's genius, L had not expected Light to come back. He'd thought Light had left.

Light, for once in his lifetime, was not fighting with his emotions. His heart pounded much more viciously then it had outside when he'd been running. He felt that guilt. That same guilt he'd felt at the hospital that day. He couldn't stand it. He _had_ to fix it! So instead of denying himself, or trying to remain a stone, he decided to act.

Without even really knowing what he was doing, Light had reached out. Startling L perhaps more the he was startling himself, he took the smaller man up and into his arms. L let out a small gasp of alarm as he was brought up off of the floor and into Light's lap. He flinched as a pair of large, warm, arms were wrapped around his small shaking form. And his large black eyes became huge as Light bowed his head and buried his nose in his ebony hair.

L froze, completely paralyzed. Due to fear, or shock he wasn't sure. Light was certain it was both, but he didn't care. He held on tight. He squeezed L, hugging him with all his strength. He could feel L's racing heart against his chest. He could feel his small chest heaving from his recent crying, and he could feel the small, bony, body shutter.

Light had always known L was small. But never had he realized just how small until that moment. He was dwarfed in his grasp. But Light realized that this was not the first time he had held the ex-detective in his arms. He recalled that night oh so long ago in Japan when he'd suffered a nightmare. Light had held him then. And Light recalled now just how boney the man in his arms was. He was a tiny thing, and felt almost fragile against his much more healthy, much more built chest.

Still, this was drastically different then that night in Japan. This was different, because now Light _knew_. He'd done it back then out of obligation. If he hadn't, it would have looked strange. L would have suspected him of being Kira. But now…now was out of a true want. Light _needed_ to hold him, to comfort him, to fix the tears he had caused to spill. He needed to fix it.

L struggled briefly, and halfheartedly in Light's grasp. He pushed his pale palms against his chest, trying to pry himself away. But Light could see that the fight wasn't in L's heart. He wasn't fighting as if he really wanted to be freed. So Light did not let go. He kept him wrapped up, safe and warm. He didn't care how weird it might have been, he didn't care what kind of confusion L might have been in. All he knew was that this was what he was supposed to do right now. Light was supposed to hold L. He knew it as surely as he knew the sky was blue. This would somehow fix everything.

L's brief struggle died quickly and very rapidly as he accepted the fact that he was receiving more touch all at once then he ever recalled having since he was a small child. It was the shock that had at first made him fight. But the shock of such immense and sudden touch slowly started to wear away.

L recalled hugs. The only hugs he'd ever received before had been from Watari when he was young. He recalled having just been adopted. He recalled the torment he'd been in at that age. Perhaps…he was still in that same torment now. But he remembered Watari coming into his room at night after L woke screaming. Yes, and Watari had held him, much like this. L remembered warm arms, and gentle hands.

It was strange to take a hug from anyone else. And yet…

L felt his racing heart start to slow. He felt the panic that had ravaged him only moments ago start to fade. The hopelessness and despair were leaving. His shuddered began to dwindle along with the sobs that had wracked his body. Everything was fading. Everything was calming. It was more soothing then he ever recalled.

_I'm wanted._ He thought suddenly. And that thought made it all better. It worked almost like a miracle potion. All of his doubts and fears seemed to vanish as Light reassured him that he was indeed wanted. It might have been true once that no one ever cared. No one would even bother with him. In fact they wanted nothing more then to be rid of him, or to hurt him. But this single hug told him that those things weren't true anymore. Someone did want him.

Light might have been cold and hard at times. But he was his friend. He was there for him. And he certainly wanted him. He never would have come to America if he didn't. He'd never hold him like this.

L slowly closed his eyes, the last of his tears falling away. His tightened muscles began to unwind; his trembling body began to fall still. Something wonderful was filling him up inside. This one hug did all the things that the sugar he ate could not. It touched that blackened place inside that he'd been trying to drown in sweets all his life.

L had always known that affection would have probably worked much better then the sugar. He understood this connection. But he'd always been far too afraid to try. He'd been far too deranged for anyone to desire a closeness with him. He'd been too wrapped up in his own world to notice other people. He avoided them like the plague. He'd been too afraid. Too terrified of getting hurt. L had pushed them all away. Everyone but Watari.

But Light had been different right from the very start. He had never been afraid of L. He'd never treated him like the machine others did, or like the freak others did. He'd treated him as an equal. A man worthy of his time. A man with a mind worthy of researching. A man worthy of the attention he gave him. Even if it had been negative attention, even if Light had hurt him…it was more then what L usually had. L had eaten it up like a sponge. He'd absorbed it like he did his snacks. But he found himself always needing more. And this…this here…even though he did not know that this was the thing he was after, that this was the thing he had been trying to eat away for years…this was it right here. Closeness. Affection. The feeling of being cared for.

It was such an amazing feeling, such a wondrous feat that L hardly knew what to do, or how to contain himself. He felt almost like crying again, but dared not. He dared not after he had just stopped. He knew Light did not want him to cry. So he wouldn't. Instead, he concentrated on that warm feeling he suddenly had. That feeling of peace. For the first time in a very long time, his whirlwind of a mind calmed. He did not want to think anymore. For the first time in as long as he remembered, he wanted to _feel._ Because for once…he was feeling something _good._

L inhaled deeply, and then slowly let out a long sigh. This felt right. He was for some reason, very certain that everything would be ok, even though that thought was based on no facts at all. There was no evidence supporting it. There was no research put into it. But L just…_felt_ like it was ok. Even when his brain told him otherwise.

Without knowing what he was doing, or why, L leaned his head forward and buried his nose in Light's strong, warm, shoulder. He smelt like sweat, and a bit of fish from the aquarium. It wasn't pleasant, but L didn't care. It was better then any cake he'd ever eaten.

For a long, still moment, both sat silently. Neither spoke. Neither moved. Neither dared. The kitchen clock that they had purchased only a few days before ticked away the seconds as loudly as it possibly could, letting the two men know exactly how long they were embraced.

And even though it was a wonderful, healing thing at first, the clock made it feel awkward and strange after a few more of its loud ticks. With each deafening 'click' the weirdness built and soon Light was calm and well enough to feel quite odd.

Light cleared his throat, dismissing their actions. Then, very quickly, Light released his hold on the smaller man and let L fall ungracefully back to his place on the tiled floor. He lay there for only a moment, and then carefully sat up into a crouched position. Apparently he was feeling well enough to do this now. He didn't seem upset that the embrace had ended. In fact, he felt quite content.

Light immediately got to his feet, his cheeks and odd pink color. Unable to hide his embarrassment, he turned away from L and glanced at the mess surrounding him.

"God! There's garbage everywhere!" L watched Light intensely for a moment. He was embarrassed by their sudden closeness. The fact that he needed to yell about something entirely unrelated was proof of that. He also could not meet L's gaze.

L supposed that was natural for a man with such pride and integrity as Light Yagami. Light was probably embarrassed because it wasn't really in his nature to be so nurturing. L had only witnessed such actions from him on rare occasions.

L didn't feel embarrassed at all. He had very much enjoyed the close moment. Perhaps…because it lightened that black spot inside of him. He thought that maybe Light didn't like it as much because he had no such scars inside. Whatever the reason didn't matter to him. L was feeling suddenly very secure. Light was not going to leave.

Feeling much better, his stomachache nearly vanished; L discovered something else very pleasing: he no longer had a desire for sweets.


	7. Into The Trash

**Author's Note:** Ok, it's a short section, but that's because the next section is very long. I didn't want to combine the two. Also, for those who haven't read my note at the very beginning of this story, I suggest you do. It will explain that this is a sequel, and is based off of my first story "Friend or Foe." It is much more based on that then the anime or the manga. I hope that clears up some confusion.

Also, I wanted to thank SeiferXSquall for explaining the difference between "then" and "than." As many of you are already aware, I've had problems with this in the past. It had never been explained to me and I was too embarrassed to ask for help. So I'm openly admitting it now.

Anyway, I just re-checked this section for the "then" "than" problem. I'm fairly certain that I got them all and understand the concept. So if you see any that are wrong please let me know in a PM. Thank you so much for all of your help! I'm so glad you're enjoying the story!

Spotofpaint

After that, things got crazy. Light, after his affectionate display had suddenly become livid. But it wasn't the fury L was used to. It was a different kind of anger.

"I'm not coming home to find you bingeing again! This is the second day in a row! We still have tomorrow to get through! It's the last day of my training! I have to go in! I'm starting my first tour on Monday!"

"Raito-kun, I never asked you to remain at the apartme-!"

"You didn't have to Lawliet! You go crazy when I'm not here!" Light was too furious to notice the flinch L let off. He paced back and fourth, snagging wrappers and violently tossing them into the garbage can. "I won't do it! I won't come home and find you like this again! We're going to fix this! And we're fixing it now!" He snagged more wrappers and garbage tossing them into the plastic bin. Then his fury moved onto the plates that he slammed, somehow without breaking them, into the sink.

L watched in amazement. Light was not yelling at him. He wasn't angry with L. He was not blaming him for his anger or his unhappiness as usual. Instead he seemed to be…angry that L had been hurt. L watched with silent awe as Light grabbed the cups off of the table and tossed those into the sink as well. This kind of anger…L decided he liked it. Light was angry because…he didn't want to see L hurt. It was flattering. L hardly knew how to react, so he didn't.

Light's cleaning rampage lasted only a few moments as he tossed things into both the trash and sink. L watched in silence as he raved. But soon he was finished. When he was, he turned to L who still sat crouched on the floor.

"First things first! We're limiting your snacks to a decent amount!" And then, without warning, Light reached up and flung open the nearest cabinet. He grabbed a box of Devil Dogs in one hand and a box of Rice Krispies Squares in the other. Then, to L's utter horror, he tossed them into the garbage.

"Raito-kun! What're you-!"

"I'm getting rid of all of this shit!" He grabbed more of the sugary sweets from inside, tossing them into the trash. L stared with utter disbelief. Terror filled him and he struggled weakly to his feet.

"No!" He had meant it to sound like a demand, but it came out more like a cry of desperation. He lurched forward, his body still weak from its ordeals. He grabbed onto one of Light's arms as he started to fall. Light did not stop in his frantic emptying of the cabinet he was working on.

"Yagmai-kun, stop it! You're going too far! I need those!"

"No you don't! It's killing you!" L continued to cling to Light's arm, too weak to do more then support himself. He knew he could not stop him. Light grabbed the bag of jellybeans and with a sickening 'THUD' they fell into the trash.

"Yagami-kun!" L cried it in anger this time rather than desperation. He would not be treated like a child! He would not be dominated. Unable to do much else, he dug his fingernails into Light's skin.

Light let out a yelp and jerked away and out of L's grasp. He tore free so quickly that it knocked the weakened ex-detective off balance. He crumpled back to the floor. Light did not stop in his rampage. Finding the first cabinet empty, he went for the second. He flung it open and began doing the exact same thing as he had done to the first. He began tossing sugary items into the trash.

L sat on the floor, supporting himself with his scrawny arms, and glared up at Light. Unable to do anything physically, he let out a sudden yell.

"Yagami-kun stop!" Light did not listen. More sweets went into the trash. L glared with fury and panic. "I'm not a child! I bought those with my own money!"

"No! It's _our_ money! Incase you've forgotten, we're sharing what Watari gave us! He gave it to both of us! So half of these are mine anyway!"

"That's bull! That's like saying half of your deodorant is mine! It's ludicrous! Look at yourself! You've gone insane!"

"I have not! This is the sanest thing I've ever done! It's for your own good Lawliet!"

"My own good! Listen to yourself! You can't treat me like a child! I'm not yours to control! I'm free now! I'm not controlled by anyone! Not even you!"

"Well someone has to control these damned snacks! If not, I'll come home and find you dead tomorrow! I won't have it!" More snacks fell into the garbage and as L watched, he could barely contain the panic that was building up in him. He could scarcely even understand the terror he was feeling.

"Stop it! I _need_ them! Yagami-kun!" But Light wasn't listening. 'Thunk thunk thunk' they fell into the trash.

"Yagami-kun!"

'Thunk'

"Yagami-kun!"

'Thunk'

"YAGAMI!" And L had screamed at the top of his lungs so loudly that Light simply had to stop. The shrill shriek had been so emotional and so desperate that it demanded immediate attention. Not to mention the lack of 'kun', which was shocking in itself. When Light turned to look at L, he found him curled up once again. Seated up right, his head was bowed against his knees and his hands were pressed desperately against the back of his head.

At first Light thought he was crying again, but as the silence settled in, he clearly heard the frantic gasps, and saw the heaving of L's back.

Light immediately realized what he was doing, and how idiotic a move it had been. Or rather, it was the right thing to do, but he had gone about it all wrong, and in a very traumatic way. L certainly was fragile emotionally. And even more so when it came to snacks.

_Sugar is love to him. How could I forget that? I'm throwing away love. _He looked to L. He was panicking. He'd never been a stable man. And Light realized that his stunt was probably too much for him. L was used to a stable, controlled, and uneventful environment. Although he was able to handle things as horrible as murder, rape, blood and scandals, he could not handle everyday things. He couldn't handle things that happened in real life right in front of him. Anything that he'd ever been subjected to before had been on a computer monitor. It was different, Light knew. L'd been trained to withstand the brutal, the heinous, the lurid and the cruel. He had never been trained to handle things like fights. Or God forbid, an absence of the one thing he was certain to get love from.

Light's furious face melted as he stared at L's black mess of hair. He was still gasping for air, his spidery, white, fingers clutching the back of his skull.

"Hey…" Light went to his side, again, but this time did not bend down. Light sighed heavily as he stood over him. Was there no end to how many times he'd mess up today? Was there no end to L's freaking out?

"Lawliet…look at me for a second." L shook his head no. Light was sure it was simply so he could deny him. He thought he understood why. L would not give Light any more control than he already had. Light had stripped L of the control he was used to having in his world. Being in America in Atlanta had stripped him of that control.

"Lawliet look, I know you're not used to giving anyone else power over anything in your life, but I really want to do this. I went about it all wrong, but I really do have the best intentions. Now, I'm not trashing all of your snacks. Just most of them. The plan is to leave you with enough snacks to last you the day without excessive bingeing. Then we'll just have to buy some more every evening when I come home from work. Ok? That'll ensure that this doesn't happen again. You'll make yourself sick."

L's breathing slowed considerably after the explanation. Carefully he lifted his head. Light was disturbed to see how haunted L appeared. It was as if Light had threatened to torture his mother and then retracted the statement. L glanced up at Light, looking _very_ unhappy. He was somehow managing to frown and glare all at once.

"I'm sorry to say Yagami-kun that your plan will not work. I don't know how else to explain to you that I _can't help it!_ If it happens again tomorrow, I'll eat until the snacks are gone. Then I'm afraid my recessions will come that much sooner."

"I have a plan for that too." L blinked, uncurling slightly and sitting in his usual crouched position. "The reason this is happening is because you're lonely and you have nothing to do, right?" L didn't like to give direct answers, or to admit too much of anything, but this time, he nodded softly. Light grinned. "All right then, get your shoes. We're going out."


	8. Overwhelming Affection

**Author's Note:** Hello again. Things seem to be moving more and more quickly with the two of them. Almost like a train picking up speed. I wouldn't be surprised if this went out of control soon. Then again, a lot of my stories do that to me. I can't control them any more than I can control the wind. Anyway, enjoy!

L found himself in utter surprise. There was little that used to surprise him in his old world. Everything was expected. But ever since he had moved to America, everything seemed to take him off guard. He did not know if he liked this. He was used to predicting everything. He was used to being prepared for any and all outcomes. But he hadn't been trying to predict things for some time. And besides, the things Light had been doing as of late never could have been predicted.

This outing for instance was a perfect example. In fact, everything Light had done since the morning he'd woken up early to make him pancakes had been surprising. But this defiantly took the cake.

Out on the street of the city both men walked side by side. It was hot out, even though the sun was setting. The heat of the day seemed to have soaked into the concrete and pavement and now heat was rising up off of the ground.

"We're going to have a bad thunderstorm later," L predicted. "The ground is warmer than the air by a large degree. And due to the greenhouse effect this city causes, a storm will surely form."

"Well, we'll be home in another few hours. I don't think we'll get caught in it. It's still clear out right now."

"Hours?" L's large eyes grew even larger still. "Raito-kun perhaps you're not aware that I'm not in one hundred percent of health at the moment? My stomach still hasn't settled…"

"Trust me Lawliet, the outing is worth it. You'll see." Light hadn't told L where they were going. L decided to use his brain for the first time in what seemed like centuries. He carefully noted Light's confident stance and the way he walked purposefully in a specific direction. He noted his smug smirk and his leisurely attitude. L's biggest clue, of course, was that Light had said that wherever they were going would fix his problem with loneliness and lack of entertainment.

But L could think of only one thing that would fix his loneliness…and Light had made it clear that he would be going into work tomorrow. And indeed L knew he had to. They needed the money.

So that left entertainment. L had no idea what would entertain him. But he had a good guess at what Light might have thought would do the trick.

"An electronics store," L said coolly. Light's grin only grew.

"Yes. That is one of the many places we'll be going." L's eyes grew wider for a third time. _One of the places?_

Light stopped outside of a bookshop. L looked up to see an impressive three story Boarders. Light grinned.

"Books seem like your style. I bet they have some really complicated shit for you to decipher in here. Pick out anything you like." L kept his black eyes fixed on the store sign above him. He dared not move. He dare not betray himself. He dare not give even the slightest indication to how grateful he felt. Light had been doing all sorts of things for him lately. It was almost like he had suddenly decided that after all this time, that he actually _liked_ him. It made L feel warm. It was nice.

"Come on! Let's go in!" The two did indeed go in. And L became so absorbed in the books around him; he hardly had time to notice the few people who stared at him due to his oddities. After much deliberation, he picked out three books to leave with.

"Oh come on. You'll finish those in one day! I know you. Pick out more."

"But Raito-kun…the money…"

"Don't worry about money. I'll be getting my first paycheck for my training period tomorrow. That'll be enough to last us at least the week. We still have a few thousand left. A few books won't hurt." L was so pleased by Light's behavior, he didn't argue. They left the store with ten books.

Light next took him to the electronics store L had predicted. Light did the shopping here. He bought L a radio/CD player and a half dozen CD's that he was sure L would enjoy. L had little experience with music, so he did not resist.

Then Light took him to a novelty shop where he bought him a five thousand-piece puzzle. "You can do it upside down if it's too easy," he said. He also bought him the biggest book of sudoku L had ever seen.

The surprises weren't over; next Light took him to the grocery store. L knew this had to be the last stop. Food would spoil if they didn't get home soon. The two men stepped inside, already loaded with heavy bags. Light walked over to a buggy and put all of the bags he'd been carrying inside of it.

"Oof!" He'd insisted on carrying most of everything since L still wasn't feeling well. L put the few light bags he'd been carrying inside on top of Lights. "Ok! Here's the deal Lawliet, in order for us to beat this addiction thing, we have to do it right. Now, with all the entertainment we bought today, you should be able to keep yourself occupied. That should help. Then, we have one cabinet of emergency snacks. Let's not pretend you won't eat them throughout the day. But as I said when I made pancakes, you need at least one somewhat decent meal a day at least to start with."

He yanked on the buggy, jerking it free from it's friends that didn't want to let it go, then he turned and entered the store with it. L followed quite silently. He was still rather bewildered at the day's occurrences.

"So I figure the pancakes were good. You ate most of them. We can do that with other foods. Strawberries are the only fruit you seem to tolerate. Some strawberries and whipped cream are a good snack. And I was thinking I might actually get you to ingest some oatmeal if we load it up with brown sugar. We have to get your body to start recognizing things like oats. I doubt your ready for any sort of meat yet, but farther down the road I know a recipe for sugar chicken. I know it sounds weird, but my mom used to make it, and I always thought it was too sweet. So you might like it."

"Hey, Raito-kun?" L said it softly, interrupting his roommate's sudden and excited banter. Light turned to face L, his expression glowing.

"Hm?" L witnessed him for a moment, noting his expression.

"Why're you doing all of this?" Light's large grin faltered. He turned away from L and looked forward as he pushed the buggy down one of the many food isles.

"You mean, why am I helping you?" L nodded. Light seemed downcast for a moment, but only a moment, and then he perked right back up. "Cuz you're an addict! Duh! You can't quit by yourself."

L sighed heavily. Light never gave him satisfactory answers. L knew very well that something was different with Light. He had decided something. What that something was, was still unidentifiable. L simply couldn't put his finger on it. Maybe he'd finally decided that he accepted L as a friend? Maybe he decided to start treating him like one? Was this the transition between being Kira, his enemy, and being Light, his friend? Maybe he was trying to figure out just how to be a friend to a man he'd spent most of his time hating and plotting to kill.

L wouldn't say he didn't appreciate it. He did. A lot more than Light could ever know, but he was scared. This new Light scared him, perhaps even more than the old one had. L didn't quite know what to do with this new Light. L didn't know how to receive such downpours of kindness. He wasn't used to such affection. And even though he had craved such positive reinforcement for most of his entire life, now that he finally had it, he felt smothered. Light was simply overwhelming him in all of this. And perhaps worst of all…L couldn't shake the feeling that if he gained something as wonderful as what he was hoping…it would all be taken away. As if maybe this entire thing were an elaborate, and horrible joke. L half expected to wake up tomorrow and have Light say 'April fools! I don't care for you after all!' L was silent a moment, then,

"You're trying to make up for almost killing me perhaps?" Light paused, the squealing of that one uncooperative wheel on the buggy ceasing. He glanced at L, his expression actually appearing hurt.

"No," he said quietly. "No…nothing like that." L kept his gaze on the once steel cold man before him. He seemed unnervingly warm and accepting now. L loved it. But he did not trust it. Not for the world. It was far too sudden.

"This is not all to clean your guilty conscience?" L insisted.

"No! Really! It's not! Well…" he glanced to the side. "…maybe part of it…" he mumbled. "But I'm really just trying to help Lawliet! What's so wrong about that?" It sounded so much like Kira L almost recoiled. It sounded exactly like something Light would have said to try and make L believe he was his friend when in truth he was plotting something horrible. L simply could not shake the feeling, even though Light's almond eyes seemed more sincere than he ever remembered.

L turned away from such an expression. He couldn't look at it. L lifted his hand; a thumb finding it's way to his teeth. He began chewing on it fitfully.

Light, easily seeing L's distress moved away from the buggy and to his side.

"L…can't you just trust me?" L shook his head.

"I don't know how Raito-kun. Especially when you're acting so much unlike yourself."

"Unlike myself? You mean you liked me better when I was trying to kill you?"

"Don't feed me words! You know that's not what I meant." Light sighed. L was hard to figure out. And he was insanely hard to please. How could he not be pleased with all Light had done? Why was he fighting it so much? Wasn't this what he wanted? To have company? To be wanted? Light was sure that L wanted these things. He'd told him so once, even if it wasn't as direct.

So then why? Why was he fighting the first good things offered to him in his life? Was it because Light had hurt him so badly as Kira?

Light felt his heart twist and tighten. The guilt was still there. Maybe L was right. Maybe this was all to clear his conscience. Could it be that he didn't love L at all then? That this was all a mistake? Maybe he just felt sorry and was trying to make up for it?

Light glanced to L's turned form. No. There was no denying the heavy truth he had discovered only hours ago. L simply looked different now. Light could see beneath all of the seemingly solid shields L put around himself. He could see beneath the black, tired eyes, the skinny white bones, and the sad sunken shoulders. He saw past it all, and instead was seeing something else that he hadn't be able to notice before his epiphany. Light knew he wouldn't be able to see L in such a light if he did not love him.

And it was focusing on that light that Light understood. L had been hurt. Not just by Kira, but by anyone whom he'd ever put his trust in. He was hurt by people who were supposed to care for him. He'd been hurt by his parents. He'd been hurt by the caretakers at the orphanages he grew up in. He'd been hurt by the people he worked with on cases, and he'd even been hurt by Watari. It was true Watari had little choice but to subject L to the life he had, lest L be subjected to a life that was much worse, but Light imagined it had still be hard for L. He'd never trusted anyone before. Not anyone. So why should he trust Light now?

And the crazy thing about it was that Light knew L had trusted him much more than L had ever planned. He had trusted Light with deep personal secrets. He was scared to reveal more. He was scared to _be_ more. But Light could not deny that he wanted to know all the things L was hiding. Light was greedy for every secret. He wanted to see every nook and cranny. He wanted to know all about L. Know every inch of him.

Light's face grew suddenly hot as his face fell open to shock. New revelations made themselves known to him seemingly every second. Light certainly wasn't ready for some of them. That last thought had disturbed and scared him.

"Raito-kun? You're red. Are you hot?" L glanced around as if he could sense the temperature this way. "I think it rather chilly in here. Perhaps you saw an attractive woman walk by?" Light froze. That was right. He'd always been a player before now. L no doubt thought he still was. Light didn't like this idea, but he dared not risk shooting L's hypothesis down. He would not risk being discovered. Not yet. Light cleared his throat and tried to compose himself.

"Let's get the shopping done." L nodded, and began to follow Light once more as he started moving. Light was a bit surprised. It seemed for a moment like they were going to have another fight back there. But while Light had been thinking, L remained quiet. And in fact, he had changed the subject after some time. Light could not help but to smile.

_He's trying his best._ He thought joyfully. _He's trying to trust me. I'll just need to be patient. _

The two picked up several different food items, some of which L knew he would never eat. But Light seemed so hopeful. Besides, he knew Light would enjoy eating them later on when L refused.

After their purchases were made, they had too many things to carry. And since they were traveling on foot, it made it even more difficult. But Light didn't seem bothered; he simply took the entire buggy outside and started down the sidewalk with it. _Like a bag lady…_ L thought a bit amused.

But much to L's shock, Light stopped at one more store.

"Stay here with the cart, I'll be right back." And without giving L time to argue, he had run inside. L glanced up at the sign of the shop Light had run into. It shone "T-Moblie" in bright pink letters. L gaped. He immediately tore his wide eyes away from the sign and to the large front window of the shop. He stared through the window fixating his gaze on the excited Light that stood inside. He knew exactly what Light was doing.

L felt certain he should protest. They had little money left. Especially after such an elaborate outing. They certainly shouldn't be spending it on cell phones!

But…for some reason, L just couldn't bring himself to go inside. He couldn't bring himself to stop Light as he talked with the sales man inside. He couldn't do anything as Light began pointing at phones in the glass case. And he did nothing as Light started signing papers.

L felt paralyzed. The day had been very overwhelming. His morning had been overwhelming when his darkened memories invaded him. It was overwhelming when he ate too much and became incapacitated on the floor. The feeling of helplessness had been overwhelming. Light running out on him had increased that feeling. Light coming back had somehow been even worse. Then of course there had been Lights temper, the snacks, the CD's, the books, the food, and now this.

Could so much really all fit into one day? It wasn't even eight o'clock yet!

L felt something touch that dark spot inside of him again. He knew exactly why Light was buying two cell phones.

_He doesn't want me to be lonely. He's trying to fix it. _There was a lot of pressure. Lots of pressure being forced onto that dark spot. It was nice…similar to the hug he'd received in the apartment. But somehow it wasn't as gentle. It was like the affection was being forced into the wound. Like someone were trying to heal a man with a cut by dunking him entirely in antibiotic. It was too much. L didn't know if he could handle such a ruthless amount of affection. His insides felt weak, and his joints stiff.

He enjoyed every minute of the pain he was in. He enjoyed every second of watching Light buy those cell phones. But at the same time, he was sure it was tearing him apart. Everything was tight.

_He wants to be able to check on me, and make sure I'm ok._ L's mind raced. Light wanted to take care of him. That was what all of this boiled down too. But L didn't know if he wanted to be taken care of. He wanted the affection. Oh yes. More than anything. He'd been eating it up all day like a dried sponge absorbing water. But he certainly did not want Light controlling him. And so far, Light wanted to control what he ate, what he did in his spare time and also be in contact enough to check and see what he was doing.

_You can't control me. I won't let you._ L found himself scared again. _Why? Why am I always afraid? I wasn't this scared when I thought he would surely kill me. Why am I more afraid of his efforts to be kind? _L already knew the answer. His past had been too cruel. It taught him to fear kindness, because it always turned out to be a trick. Or worse…taken away.

L's heart gave off a sudden lurch. Both of his pale hands were lifted and curled into his chest where the anomaly had occurred. He winced lightly. That was why he was so afraid. Because any intelligent man knew…that everything good came to an end. And L was sure…he would not survive another loss. He would not survive if he lost Light.

'Ding!' The bell on the T-mobile store rang merrily as Light exited the shop. He stepped out beaming from ear to ear, one phone held in each hand. He held them way up into the air as if they were trophies.

"Ta-daa!" He sang. He held one of the phones out to L. L looked at it warily, as if the small electronic item would bite him. "My number is already programmed into speed dial number two! Now you can call whenever you need to. So no more whining about being lonely! I'm a button away. If that isn't convenient enough for you, then nothing is. I'll have to beat you if_ this_ doesn't do the trick."

L very hesitantly and very carefully pinched the phone between his two fingers, lifting it off of Light's palm. He turned it over once; examining it with the most depressed expression Light had ever seen.

Light's smile started to fade. How was it possible? L looked even more miserable than ever. Light's heart and delighted face plummeted.

"Lawliet, wh…why? Why aren't you happy?" L lifted his gaze from his phone and looked to Light, his dark eyes as ominous as ever.

"I'm very happy Raito-kun. So much so that it's painful." That was the best he could do. He could not bring himself to say more. But for Light, he knew it was enough. As Light had been claiming all day long…Light knew him.

Light's almond eyes lit up with recognition. He did indeed understand. Perhaps not everything, but at least the important and basic concept behind L's statement. So he did like it. L was simply overwhelmed. Light beamed once more. This was more like it.

"Excellent! I've got you on speed dial as well. So we're all ready for tomorrow. I'd like to see a snack attack get through all the defenses we just set up! It doesn't stand a chance. And you know Lawliet, it might be good for you to get out of the house every now and then. If you run out of books, you know where Borders is now. You can always just walk down here and hang out in the store. Hey! Maybe you'll make some friends! And the sun will be good for you too. Try to get out tomorrow if you can. And in the morning I'll whip up some of the oatmeal we bought. You can eat it before you-!"

"Raito-kun stop!" L said sharply. Light froze in surprise. He glanced at L finding him with his eyes squeezed shut. "I can't take anymore!" Light gaped. He certainly hadn't expected this! He remained quiet for sometime, sensing that L would explain if he was just given a second to breathe. L took those few precious seconds of silence to gather himself. Then he opened his black eyes and gazed at Light once more.

"Raito-kun…I am very appreciative of all you've done for me today. I enjoy the attention very much. But I am not used to it. I'm not used to getting any attention at all. Negative or positive. A little bit is agreeable…but this is too much. You're drowning me." Light stared. He had never considered that.

"Oh." He said simply. Of course. It seemed so obvious now. Everything L said was true. Especially since Light had been acting entirely different toward him up until yesterday.

"As they say in America Raito-kun…you're freaking me out." Light nodded.

"Yeah…guess I have been a little crazed lately…sorry." L stared. Something was funny indeed. Light never apologized. For anything. L had been awaiting a snippy retort, a contradiction, or at least an insult of some kind. Instead he apologized. It was strange.

"Raito-kun…would you tell me what's going on? You've been acting out of character all day. Have you decided on something?" A stab of fear pierced Light's heart and his blood ran cold. There was no way. No friggin way that L had figured it out already. It had only been a few hours. Granted Light had been acting strangely, yes, but he didn't recall doing anything horribly incriminating.

"I see by your face that it's something you don't want me to know about. I assure you, I do not yet know what it is that's making you behave this way. But I warn you that I cannot keep myself from knowing it for long. I always solve all of my puzzles. If you have decided on something, or have done something, it will be known in time."

That didn't make Light feel any better. The one relief was that L didn't yet know what was going on. But Light knew he was right. He would soon…he was too smart not to figure it out given enough time. Light nodded, indicating that L was right and that he accepted the things he said.

"Fine. But for now, let's just get back to the apartment. I'll try to start degrading you again, so that you don't feel smothered." There was an edge in Light's tones and L knew he had upset him. He sighed briefly in disappointment. Light seemed much more like his usual self when he was annoyed. And even though it took off all of that horrible pressure…L was already missing the feel of drowning in more affection then he knew what to do with.

_I can't win with myself…_ he thought miserably. Light grabbed the buggy and the squeaky wheel started back up as it was pushed down the sidewalk. L followed slightly behind Light and at a moderate pace. The sky was starting to fill with clouds. It looked like that storm he predicted was going to become fact.


	9. Light's Girlfriend

**Author's Note:** So this section is rather amusing to say the least. I hope you guys get some chuckles out of it.

--------------------------

Light despised Friday. He hated it with a venom he had not felt since he was Kira. He loathed the fact that he had a full day of training, an entire eight hours to endure. And what was worse was that he could not wheedle his way out of this one. He was on a mock run of what his tours would actually be like on Monday. He had to perform the entire morning tour with his other coworkers as his audience.

They were role-playing, and many purposefully asked him stupid questions to see how he would handle it. Light was forced to keep his cool, despite ample amounts of agitation.

He was restless, and could not stop thinking about L. It was driving him mad. Now that he understood the exact reason he was so obsessed with the skinny man, it was only so much worse. Now that he'd embraced the idea, even if not the entire concept, he could not stop worrying.

Had the things he bought yesterday been enough? Was he keeping busy? Was he feeling lonely right now without him there? Was he scared? Was he craving snacks?

Despite all of these pestering questions, Light somehow got through his tour in one piece. When it was over, it was time for lunch.

The crowds were horrendous in the rest of the aquarium, including the cafeteria, so Light was extremely thankful when he was shown to a break room made just for the workers. He ducked inside seeing several tables, soda machines and chairs. There were coat hooks hanging on the walls, and a small TV on top of the refrigerator.

Light had brought his own lunch, so he went and fetched it out of the fridge. There were a few other people in the break room, all of them wearing the same blue shirt as Light. He ignored them all. After he grabbed his lunch, he turned to sit at one of the empty tables away from the others. He plopped himself down in a seat.

Almost instantly his new cell phone vibrated. Unprepared for it, Light let out a small gasp and jumped in his seat. A second later he realized what it was and he sighed heavily with frustration. Leave it to L to make him look like an idiot in front of his co-workers without even personally being present.

But his annoyance and frustration quickly faded when the second vibration went through his thigh. Maybe he needed to talk.

Not noticing that his coworkers were staring due to his startled gasp, Light quickly fished the small device out of his pants. He flipped it open and put it to his ear.

"Hello? Yeah, hey Lawliet, what's up?" The rest of his coworkers turned back to one another to continue the chat they'd been having. They didn't want to be rude by staring or eaves dropping. But it was kind of hard when the conversation was happening so closely. And it was even harder when the new guy was so interesting. His slight accent made it clear he was from Japan, not to mention his very obvious Japanese features. And of course, the fact that he was a genius only made him a bigger topic of conversation.

"What? Oh, yeah. You timed my lunch just perfectly. …Yes. To the very second. Yes. Yes the very second I sat down." And his conversation was a little strange too. Several of Light's coworkers had approached him in the past with offerings of chit-chat. But Light had never seemed interested. In fact, he always seemed to brush his new coworkers off. As such, the more timid workers had been dissuaded from approaching him again. He seemed a bit cold.

But then Light laughed suddenly. Those who were watching noticed the instant change. His scowl was nowhere to be seen and he suddenly seemed like the friendliest person in the room. Especially with a smile like that.

"So you're applying that theory to the puzzle then? …Uh-huh. Yeah. Half upside down? What about the other pieces? Uh-huh." There was no question that Light was a very attractive Japanese man. But he'd scared off most of his pursuers in his first few days at the aquarium. But now, several of the women in the break room were turning to look. This new side of Light was much more inviting.

"And how many snacks have you had so far? …No I'm not being controlling! I…what? No. No I'm not counting. I will when I get back. Why don't you just tell me? I'll find out when I get home anyway and…huh? Three?" Light's face seemed to become lax with a mixed look of both wonder and delight. "R…really? Only three? It's been six hours since you woke up. …Yeah. You tried the oatmeal?" His excited face flashed with sudden anger.

"Well don't call it puke! If you don't like it just say so! You don't need to compare it in such a vile way! It's disgusting! I…what? NO! You're picking a fight on purpose! What the hell Lawliet!" Well everyone was staring now. But clearly Light was so absorbed in his conversation he either didn't notice, or didn't care.

"You don't have to pick a fight if you want attention! Didn't I give you enough yesterday? I recall you saying I was smothering you! What happened to that?" Most of the girls in the room suddenly sighed and turned away. They focused on their food once more. Clearly Light Yagami was already taken. And not just dating, but seriously involved. It was clear from his conversation that he was already living with this Lawliet girl. They sure fought like they were already married.

"Well sure, of course I… no! You started it! Huh? Oh…oh yeah." His tones were already softening as he and his girlfriend moved onto a new subject. All hope of possibly putting the moves on the new guy had died. The women in the room grumbled unhappily. All the good ones were always already taken.

"Yeah. Lawliet look I gotta go. Yeah. …Uh-huh. I have to eat. I…what? My break? It's an hour long. Yeah. Uh-huh. Maybe later. Uh-huh. Ok. Yeah. I gotta go. All right. See you later. Bye." Light hung up the cell phone flipping it closed. He sighed as if frustrated once more. Then he shoved the little phone back into his pants and turned to face his food.

He opened his bag and carefully removed his sandwich that he had made himself. There was no way he was going to eat half the crap the aquarium sold in their cafeteria. He removed his bottled juice as well as a zip lock bag of fresh vegetables. L might have eaten all the processed crap he could get his hands on, but he at least was going to eat healthy.

"…Oatmeal doesn't taste like puke…" he grumbled to himself. A sudden giggle sounded from his right. Blinking, Light looked up to see one of his many new coworkers. This one's name was Lizzy, if he recalled properly, which he always did. She was very pretty in his opinion. She had long, sleek dark chocolate hair that fell in smooth bangs across her forehead and a pair of stunning blue eyes. Slim, but with enough meat for some nice curves, Light estimated that she weighed at least fifteen pounds more than L. A good healthy weight for a girl of her height.

"You're girlfriend doesn't like the oatmeal you bought?" She asked, an amused smile on her pink painted lips.

"H…huh? Girlfriend?" Light blinked, shocked at her statement.

"Yeah. The person you were talking to on the phone. What was her name? La…Law…"

"Oh, Lawliet." Light said.

"Yeah! That's it! It sounds like you two are really close." Light gaped, his almond eyes bugging as he suddenly realized what Lizzy was saying. She thought that Lawliet was a girl!

Light blushed suddenly, his cheeks becoming a furious red. He understood completely how this mistake could have occurred. He quickly glanced around the room at his other coworkers. Several had heard. He knew as much. He had not bothered to be quiet when he had his conversation with L. And even now, many ears were turned in his direction. The gossipers were eager to hear if he had a girlfriend, what she was like, etcetera.

Light tried to stifle his panic. Surely there was a correct way to answer. If he said no, he didn't have a girlfriend, he would be grilled about who Lawliet was and why they had sounded so affectionate. He then could not admit to being Lawliet's roommate. They'd figure it out in a heartbeat. Besides, if he said he was single, he knew he would get advances from several of the woman in the aquarium. That was something he simply didn't want to deal with. Not when he was struggling with his feelings for L.

It seemed safest to simply lie and say that yes, he did have a girlfriend named Lawliet. Then he would be left alone by any who longed to flirt with him. Not only that, but he could feel a little closer to L that way…

It suddenly seemed like a very good idea, to pretend that they were dating. The very idea was alluring. The only thing was that he would have to lie and say L was a girl.

Light foresaw problems with this in the future. But he was sure he would figure himself out soon enough. Until then, he needed some time to sort through how he felt. Once that was all settled and done with, he would assess his coworkers to find out if gay relationships were acceptable to them. If so…he might tell them.

_Whoa whoa whoa!_ His thoughts suddenly screamed. _I'm getting way ahead of myself! I'm already thinking about announcing a relationship with L? No way! I'm years away from that! Besides, it takes two to have a relationship! L kinda needs to be included in this sudden rampage of thoughts I'm having!_

"Um…Light? Are you still there?" Lizzy leaned forward, her huge, eyeliner eyes popping into view. Light blinked startled. Lizzy smiled brightly, her grin huge on her face. "You were thinking about her, weren't you?" Light knew he had to answer. And he had to make it consistent. Once he opened his mouth, he'd be locked into whatever he decided. Light hesitated only once.

"Yeah. I was thinking about hi…her…" He gulped, already nervous about what he'd just done.

_What did I just decide here?_ Lizzy let off a small squeal.

"That's so cute! You guys were so adorable on the phone. You can just tell when two people really love each other. Are you guys really involved?" Light glanced around nervously; there were many eyes on him now. People were waiting and listening. Two other girls unashamedly hurried over to Light's table to sit closer.

"Is she pretty?" One of them asked. Light hesitated briefly once more…then actually thought about the question. Was L pretty? Light blushed suddenly. The girls squealed like pigs.

"He's blushing!"

"She_ is_ pretty then!"

"What's she look like? Tell us all about her!" More people were moving to the table now, a moderate crowd forming. Light almost immediately felt like he was in the correct place. His embarrassment faded as a small smile suddenly played across Light's lips. He had always loved being the center of attention. And no one would deny that he played the perfect part for it. He was dashing, charming, and sophisticated. Not to mention his outstanding intelligence.

And the more he thought about it, the better this idea seemed. Not only could he play up the social scene (and he loved being social) but he could also harp on L a little bit. Or a lot from the looks of it.

Light's imagination suddenly sparked to life, and it just went wild. He could make up anything he wanted. He could make up the perfect life. He could make L anything at all he desired. Make L do anything he imagined. He could live through a few lies to his coworkers. This was what he called perfect control. In this form alone, he could have perfect control of not just L, but also his imaginary relationship with him.

It sounded like fun.

"Yeah! Of course she's pretty!" Light said suddenly, a large smile on his face. The girls squirmed and some of the guys hanging in the back moved closer to hear better.

"She has deep black hair, and she wears it short and messy, so that it's always falling into her eyes. And her skin is the fairest I've ever seen. Ivory white!"

"Wow! She sounds gorgeous!"

"Is she Japanese too?"

"No. She's actually European." Light answered.

"Wow! From Europe?"

"Does she have an accent?"

"Nope! In fact, she can speak over seventeen different languages! All of them flawlessly, as if she were a native! She's very smart. That's why we butt heads so much. A lot of the time, we argue because we both like being the best." A few chuckles rose up from that one.

"What does she do for a living?"

"Well, she's starting a job as a linguist on Monday. But she used to solve murder cases. She was a detective not too long ago. But the trauma of dealing with such horrible things over and over again was wearing on her. We came to America to try and escape all of that. She deserves a fresh start."

"Aww! That's so awesome of you Light! Taking care of your girl!" Light beamed, his face simply glowing with delight. Yes. This felt good. It felt right. It was a very lifting feeling. He enjoyed boasting about L. He enjoyed letting others in on the wonders and special things that Light knew were the reasons he felt so strongly for Lawliet. These were the reasons he loved him.

"Wow! She sounds so cool! A detective!"

"And a linguist!"

"Careful Light, she sounds like she might be smarter than you!" More laughter rose up from the crowd, and Light joined in. It felt good to laugh. His coworkers were eating it up. The men were even getting into it now, some of them unashamed to lean right on in with the gaggle of girls.

"Hey Light! Is she hot?" One of them clearly had no tact.

"I wouldn't say 'hot.' But I think she's very attractive." Light answered. "She's very thin, a bit too much. I worry about her health a lot of the time. She doesn't like to eat right. I'm trying to help her with that."

"Ooo! That's why you were fighting about oatmeal!"

"Yes, that's right."

"Aww! She sounds so fragile."

"Oh not too much. She might be tiny physically, but she has a soul of steel! Noting scares her, and nothing can keep her down. She's very courageous."

"Wow!"

"Oh Light she sounds wonderful!"

"Are you guys going to get married?" Light's entire face turned a bright red as he felt heat fill his body. His smile was quickly taken over by embarrassment. Lizzy slapped the girl who had mentioned it halfheartedly in the arm.

"Don't get too personal!"

"No, it's ok. I don't mind." Light said. "To tell the truth…I…haven't really told her how I feel yet." The crowd gaped.

"What? But aren't you living together?"

"Well…yes…but…"

"Then how could she not know? Women have intuition about that sort of thin you know."

"Oh intuition…well…that's tricky. She's not like a lot of other girls." Light smiled softly at this. She wasn't a girl at all. But there was more to it than that. L wasn't like anyone. No one else on the entire planet could have come close to the unique person L truly was. So wrapped up in the glory of the moment, Light continued without first thinking about what he was saying.

"She doesn't trust people easily. And she's not as intuitive as you might think. She…she's been hurt very badly. And she was abused as a child." The crowd fell silent. A sudden and serious mood overtaking the excitement that had been there just a moment ago. The aquarium workers all leaned in just a bit further, eyes wide with wonder as if Light were telling a ghost story around a campfire.

"Her parents were abusive, and she grew up in several different orphanages. No one cared for her. She hasn't told me directly yet…but I just know that the people at the orphanages were cruel to her…" Light's voice diminish as he spoke, his chocolate colored eyes softened with what looked like regret. He felt it in his chest again. That feeling of guilt. But he knew that this time it had not been his fault. He only wished…he could have been there to do something for L.

"She's been hurt very badly, and she's not eager to put her trust or her faith in anyone. Not even me…"

The room was deathly silent as Light's coworkers became too captivated to make a sound. They wore similar faced of remorse, the workers leaning on tables or one another for support. Light glanced up at them and cleared his throat in order to break the mood when suddenly the door to the break room slammed opened.

Everyone's attention snapped to the open doorway where they all spotted one of the managers walking in. He looked very unhappy.

"What're you all doing in here? Half of you should have been off of lunch over twenty minutes ago!" The crowd scattered as apologies were tossed into the air. Half of the workers ran to put away their things while the others went back to their respective seats pretending as if nothing had happened. Light grinned. He finally felt like he was in his rightful place at work. He was the king.


	10. Burnt

**Author's Note:** All right, it's time for some Q and A. Or rather…A! I'd like to take a moment to answer some questions posed in the reviews. First, Light's coworkers are indeed acting like middle school kids. Sadly, this behavior does not diminish when we grow up. I was shocked when I was introduced to office life and discovered that the people were just as bad, if not worse gossipers than middle school kids. Everyday, it's all about who's dating who, when, where, why and how. The last scene was sadly, not much of an exaggeration.

Ok I lied, that's the only question I want to answer. The rest are either reader opinion, or I don't want to reveal anything just yet. Others were rather self-explanatory and don't need explanation. Any who, you're the reader, you make up your own conclusions and opinions. That's the beauty of reading! So I won't ruin it for you with wordy explanations (even though I'm oh so tempted.)

-------------------

Needless to say, Light was feeling much more confident about his newly found feelings for L by the time he got out of work at six. Even though it was a bit of a lie, Light found himself telling the truth for most of the day. He answered questions willingly, instead of begrudgingly. And by working through his coworkers, he managed to find approval from almost everyone there. Seeing that everyone thought it was a good and wonderful thing made Light feel better about the things he'd been afraid of. How could it be wrong if everyone was encouraging him? How could it be wrong if it made him feel this good?

Walking home through the park, Light decided it wasn't wrong. It wasn't possible. Loving L couldn't be a bad thing. L was starved for affection. Giving it to him couldn't hurt, unless Light gave too much as he had the night before. Light didn't want to scare him like that again. He'd need to take things slowly. Very slowly. But at least now, Light knew exactly what he wanted. And he knew exactly what he wanted to do.

After entering the apartment building and stepping off the elevator, he couldn't help but to feel a pang of fear. The last two days he'd come home…he'd found L in a state of despair. He had seemed just fine, and in fact happy at lunch today, but that easily could have changed. Praying he was ok, Light stuck his key into the door. He stepped inside.

Immediately, the smell of smoke and something burning filled his nose. Light let out an unpleasant cough. What was that putrid scent? He closed the door behind him and found the apartment filled with a thin layer of hazy smoke. He coughed again.

"Lawliet?" He questioned to the detestable air.

"Raito-kun, what poor timing. Would you open a window?" Light's eyes watered from the smoke and the smell. Whatever it was, it was horrible. Eager to oblige to L's request, even though he still didn't know where he was, Light made his way through the living room. He grabbed the windows and began to open all of them. The smoke started to pull out as fresh and hot air came in. Light leaned his face near the screen to get a good breath of air. Then, once he felt better, he stood up straight.

"Lawliet? Where are you and what the hell is going on?"

"In the kitchen." Came the call. Light walked through the room and ducked into the indicated room. Inside he found more smoke and a disaster scene. Pots and pans were pulled out of the cupboards. Plates and utensils were stacked on the countertops. And two ruined pans were in the sink where L was poring cold water on them. There was food mess on the counters, on the stove and in the trash.

Light couldn't help it; he felt his usual anger bubble to life. He squeezed his eyes shut to try and compose himself, but the vein in his forehead gave him away. When he spoke, his voice came out in a low rumble.

"Lawliet…is it at all possible to come home to a clean apartment after work? Do you_ have _to _destroy_ the place every time I leave you alone? God what happened here? It's like a damned war zone! Did you ignite a bomb?"

"As usual, you're over exaggerating by a gross amount Raito-kun." L still kept the water running, his hands in the sink with the ruined cookware. "I was attempting to cook something. But seeing as I have no experience and no cookbook, it was almost an eighty-three percent chance that I would fail. Still, I felt like attempting it." He let out a rush of frustrated air through his nose. "I still fail to see how this is as disastrous as a bomb."

_Cooking?_ Light doubted he was able to hide his shock. What would L want to cook for? It sounded like something he would hate doing. Or at least something he would avoid. Baking maybe. Because at least a person could make cake or brownies baking. But cooking…Light could think of nothing sweet that required a frying pan.

Curious, he took a peek into the garbage at the poor ruined meal. He spotted horribly burnt brown rice and some very soggy looking vegetables that were no longer identifiable. All were ingredients that L would never eat himself.

Light's heart leapt and gave off a very brutal pound. Was this what he thought it was? He looked up to the rest of the kitchen. There was only one plate out on the counter. It was empty and awaiting food. A cup of the juice Light had bought for himself was sitting just next to the lonely plate.

Light felt his chest swell. All the evidence was here, but he had to double check.

"Lawliet…did…did you try to make me dinner?" L did not turn from the sink. He kept the water running, his hands still inside. He huffed slightly at Light's question.

"Very astute Raito-kun. You're deductions are flawless."

"Geeze! No need to get testy!" Light snipped. But the weight of L's actions were too great to allow him to remain annoyed. It faded quickly. "Why would you try to cook me dinner? It doesn't seem like something you would enjoy doing."

"Correct. Cooking is something I never took interest in."

"Then why?" L did not answer right away, and he did not move from his place at the sink. He hesitated, seemingly having a hard time being direct. He wished Light would just use his head and put it together so he wouldn't have to say it. But he realized that those times were fading. Both of them needed to express themselves more now that their situation had changed. Besides…Light deserved an answer without any twists. And so, he put forth his best effort to explain without any games, guesses or puzzles.

"…because," he started. "…you're hungry when you get home." That hadn't been enough. That wasn't the real reason at all. L bit his bottom lip, his back to Light as he held his hand under the cold water. He decided to try again. Light was being silent so he could do so.

"Raito-kun was more than kind yesterday…he…he made Friday…enjoyable." There was more. But he'd already said so much. It was difficult as it was. Still, L wanted to try a third time. "I wanted to do something to replay you…" There. That was the reason. He'd said it directly.

Light's heart was pounding. It thudded desperately in his chest, begging to be released. It was so violent that it almost hurt. But it didn't. It felt good. Very good. Light could not believe how wonderful this feeling was.

_He wanted to do something nice for me._ And suddenly it didn't seem so one sided. Light had never really known L to do something for someone else. In all the time he'd known him, he did not do things like this. He was an all or nothing type of guy. It was either black or white, the apocalypse or nothing at all. When he did do something for someone else, it was on a huge, ridiculous scale. Like how L had saved his life…

Light's demanding heart screamed even more loudly. That was right. It wasn't Light who'd given up everything for L…it was L who had given everything up for Light. L didn't have to do what he had done. He didn't need to risk his life, but he had. All for the sake of saving Light from Kira.

Trying to cook dinner for him when he didn't know how, and didn't enjoy it, was just a reminder. L did care. He might have been afraid to show it, but he cared for Light. There was no doubt.

It was coming out of these thoughts that Light finally realized that the water was still running. Blinking, he looked to L who still had his hand under the stream. Light's brow wrinkled in concern.

"Lawliet…why're you holding your hand under the water?" L didn't answer, and he didn't need to as Light marched over. He reached out, grabbing the pale wrist that led into the sink. Startled, L flinched. Light pulled his hand out from the stream and forcefully lifted it up so he could look at it.

There, taking up the entirety of the skin just underneath his pinky and on the side of his palm was an angry red, and peeling patch of burnt skin.

"Lawliet what did you do!"

"The stove's electric! It looks harmless even when it's still hot!"

"You leaned on the stove!"

"I had to catch my balance! I couldn't see through the smoke!"

"God!"

"I didn't do it on purpose Raito-kun! Do you think I enjoyed burning myself?"

"Shut up for a second and let me take care of this!" Without any more argument, Light began to drag L out of the kitchen. Light knew his first aid. One was never to put ice on a burn. L had done the right thing by holding it under cool running water. But now it was time to wrap it up to keep air off of it. Once it was wrapped, it would be both sanitary, and the pain would lessen.

L, willingly or not, was forced with Light down the small hall that led to their bedrooms and into the bathroom that separated the two rooms. Still being gripped by his wrist, L was yanked over to the medicine cabinet. Light opened it with his free hand and took out both gauze and bandages.

"Raito-kun…although I appreciate your concern…I do not appreciate your force," L said. Light wasn't listening, and in fact, he took the opportunity to increase his grip on L's wrist as if he were afraid he'd try to break free now that he'd voiced displeasure. L squirmed uncomfortably.

"Raito-kun…"

"Stay still Lawliet!" Light took some gauze and in his anxiousness, pressed it into L's burns far too forcefully. L let out a small cry as he stiffened from the pain.

"Raito-kun! You're hurting me!" At this, Light stopped immediately. He put the gauze down and then released L's hand. L pulled it away from his crazed roommate and pulled it in to his chest where he cradled it.

For a moment they just stood there in silent awkwardness, their breathing slightly increased from their activities. Light stayed by the sink and counter, facing the faucet instead of his injured roommate.

"Sorry Lawliet…" he said quietly. "I get eager sometimes. Would you let me try again?" L was quiet as he observed Light. So he was still acting in this new way of his. L was sure at that moment that Light would not be reverting back to the colder, harsher Light he once knew. Light had indeed made some sort of heavy decision. And whatever it was, it was heavy enough to cause him to change his entire attitude.

L was relieved that his personality was the same. It was the same Light; it was just that now he seemed to view the world a bit differently.

L was curious. Very curious to find out what could have possibly caused such a drastic change in Light. But his hand was starting to burn without the relief of cool running water. The pain in it was flaring up very quickly.

"…I'm certain I can wrap it myself Raito-kun…" Light lifted his head and turned away from the sink. He faced L directly then, his brown eyes looking quite serious.

"Let me do it. You know it takes a lot of effort for me to ask, instead of just forcing you. I'm a man of action. I don't like wasting time with words. You know that too." L nodded softly, his black eyes large. He was still hesitant, simply because this was so sudden. But he very much liked the new Light's ideas on how to treat him.

"Ok," he said simply. L then stepped up onto the top of the closed toilette seat, and curled into his usual seating position. Seemingly settled, he stuck out his injured hand into the air in front of him. He held it there as Light hesitated briefly then gathered the gauze and bandages. He moved over to where L sat, then slowly knelt down on the tiled floor in front of him. L watched silently as Light reached out, and much more gently than the first time, took his injured hand in his.

L could not help but to notice that Light's hands were darker in color, larger, and stronger looking than his own. His own hand looked thin, sickly even. He wondered if he, as a person, looked that way standing next to Light. What did other people see?

Light, as tenderly as he knew how, gently placed the gauze pad on top of L's burn. This time, L did not wince or show any signs of pain. With the gauze in place, Light took the bandages and carefully began to wrap L's hand. He worked it around the pale skin, firmly, but gently putting the wrappings in place.

He could not keep his heart still. And he couldn't keep his feelings from stirring. He'd never had the chance to hold L's hand like this before. It was nice. And it was even more wonderful to be able to take care of him.

"So Lawliet," Light started. "I was thinking we might do something this weekend. You know, before you start work on Monday, and before I start my tours." Light wasn't even sure where this suggestion had come from. It had just popped out of his mouth as if someone else had said it. But now that the idea had been planted, there were all sorts of scenarios growing in his mind. Yes, they defiantly needed to get out of the apartment. L at least, had been cooped up for days. And Light only got out for work.

"Do something?" L questioned.

"Yeah. The beach is out unfortunately. It's five hours away from here. We'd need to stay at a hotel, and we don't have the money for that. But we could do something else. Do you have any idea's Lawliet? Before I start bombarding you with mine? Cuz I have dozens already."

L stared. There was no end to the surprises. Light was suddenly so full of new things. After having some time to absorb this new man in front of him for the past day, L found it easier to agree instead of fighting whatever it was Light said.

"O…ok," he said. "What kind of ideas did you have Raito-kun?"

"Ah, dozens!" He was careful to wrap around L's wound gently every time he came around to it. "The park just outside has a water show Saturday nights at nine. We could go see that. Or we could go to Stone Mountain. My coworkers keep suggesting we see it. Apparently it's a big attraction. There's a sky lift and shops. There's also the Coca Cola building, or the High Museum. Or The Underground. That's a shopping strip located underneath the city. I hear it's pretty cool."

L was quiet. He watched as Light finished up the wrappings on his hand. He cut off the excess bandages and then tied it off neatly. It was professionally done and it looked good.

"There!" L lifted his hand, inspecting it.

"Nicely done." Light beamed from ear to ear. He already knew. "I'm afraid I don't know the sights that well Raito-kun, why don't you decide." Light didn't bother to hide his shock. His almond eyes widened. L was not only agreeing without a fight, but was willingly giving Light the control.

"Wh…what? You…you're agreeing? Just like that?" Light rose to his feet, standing over L who still remained seated on the toilette in his usual curled fashion. L blinked up at him.

"Yes. I have nothing to fear by going outside if you are with me." Light felt his face suddenly grow warm as his insides squirmed. He knew very well that his cheeks were red yet again.

_Well shit! He'll figure it out in no time if I keep blushing like a little girl!_ He cursed internally. L did indeed notice, but he didn't say anything. He looked away from Light and over to the wall instead.

"I'm afraid I'm a bit of a target Raito-kun. People have preyed upon me before when I've been alone. But if someone comes with me, there is a very small chance that it'll happen again. Bullies and thugs don't like to attack those who travel in numbers. Two is a much bigger number than one." Light was silent as he studied the side of L's face. His brows lowered. L had offered a small indication into his past. Should Light dare to pursue it?

"So…there have been times before that gang that attacked us in Japan?" L glanced Light's way, both of his hands resting casually over his curled knees. He nodded. Light felt his heart do some sort of a leap. Was L letting him in on something? Was he allowing him to peek inside? Even if just for a moment?

Light knew that he'd have to do this just right. L didn't find this easy. He knew as much. If he wanted him to talk, he'd need to lay out a trail of breadcrumbs for L to follow.

"I thought the reason you hated going out was because people stared at you."

"That is one of my reasons, yes."

"But you've been hurt physically too? People attacked you?" L nodded firmly without ever batting an eyelash. Light didn't like that. He felt his brain kick into gear. It whirled around the things L was telling him, grabbing these pieces and putting them together to form the entire picture.

"This has happened…several times?" L nodded again. Light's heart plummeted. But despite how much he didn't want to hear the rest…he really _did_ want to hear the rest. He wanted to know all about L's sufferings. Especially if L was offering them to him. Light swallowed. Careful of his next words, he said,

"At the orphanages?" L hesitated only briefly.

"Yes." He was quiet a moment, but Light noted the way he glanced off and to the side. It meant he was thinking. And it also usually meant that he would say more. He just needed to prepare himself. So Light remained quiet.

"Children are cruel, just as much as adults. They could not understand why I looked different from them, why I acted apart from them. They enjoyed banding together in little groups. Most of them liked to play games, or play with toys. At the first orphanage, I had been far too traumatized to socialize. I stayed to myself, ashamed that I could not stand straight like the others. The other children did not like that I acted differently. They confronted me. But when I told them I did not want to play with them, they were insulted. They attacked me."

Light's brow wrinkled as he listened. There were ups and downs to all of this. A definite positive was that L was offering him information. This was the first time he had offered such personal insight without the influence of heavy painkillers. He was doing this on his own.

But of course, the downside was the things he was revealing. It hurt to know that L had been hurt. But he was sure that he was somehow helping, by listening to L's story. Daring not to interrupt, he allowed L to continue.

"The other children grew a disliking of me after that incident. They picked on me often, calling me all sorts of childish names. On occasion, some of the older, more angry boys would beat me, seemingly for the simple fact that it made them feel more powerful in a world that had stripped them of control. I tried to avoid all of the children, but if they were eager enough, some of them would hunt me down.

Needless to say, the caretakers were upset. Seeing that they could not help me, they transferred me to another orphanage. The second was the same as the first. Having learned to avoid the children, I did not attempt to socialize. This was insulting to the others. They held a belief that I thought I was better than them. So the name calling and the beatings continued. Only it was worse at the second orphanage because…the caretakers didn't care to try and stop them.

At the first one the workers at least tried to protect me. They punished the children who hurt me, and set rules to keep me safe. But…at the second place, no one could be bothered with my problems…"

Light watched L's expression carefully. He seemed stoic the entire time, as if he were reading a book, not retelling a part of his own childhood. But near the end of his explanation, his dark eyes drifted to the side again. Light caught it immediately. There was something more there that L wasn't saying. No…there was _much_ more there that L wasn't saying. It was very clear that L had suffered at the second orphanage perhaps the most out of them all. But he wouldn't say exactly what made this second place different. Light decided not to say anything yet. L looked like he might continue.

"Such a pattern continued through into the third orphanage. But this is where Watari finally found and adopted me. But sadly, I came to discover that people were just as cruel outside as they were inside the orphanages. Watari never let me out alone, of course, I was too young, but we went out together on occasion before I started working on cases as L, or under one of my other aliases.

During those outings, I noticed the many strange looks I received due to my appearance. Some people were rude enough to actually point and whisper to their traveling companions. Others still…despite Watari's presence, shouted insults. The large groups were always much more brave, and much more daring. It is why I fear them most."

"They're not brave!" Light suddenly shouted. Blinking, L looked up at his suddenly very angered roommate. Light was so furious in fact that his cheeks were red and the usual vein L associated with his fury was throbbing in his forehead. "It's not brave to pick on orphaned little boys! It's the most cowardly thing I've ever heard of!"

L kept his gaze locked on Light's trembling face. He knew he'd been right to tell him. Light respected his tale. And he was sympathizing. Yes. He was ready to accept L's tales now. He was ready to let L get a little closer. And after the way Light had been acting, and the way he'd been making L feel…L was confident about allowing himself to be a little closer too.

Still, he wanted to be careful. This was a nice introduction to the heavier things that were waiting inside of him. Light was handling it well. It may have been selfish, but L was glad to see him upset. He wanted someone to be angry for him. He wanted someone else to understand the injustice of it. Seeing Light angry made him feel better. It reinforced the idea that Light cared.

"You're right Raito-kun. They were not brave people, just pitiless. I used the wrong adjective." This didn't seem to make Light any less angry. In fact, he let off a low, but furious growl, then quickly ran both hands through his hair in frustration.

"Those idiots!" L watched Light a moment more, then quietly said,

"I'm glad you're upset for me Raito-kun." Light blinked, his anger melting. He turned to look at L with contemplating eyes. He absorbed L for a moment. He sat quietly, his freshly bandaged hand resting on top of his right knee. He didn't look any different than usual. But Light knew what his last phrase had really meant.

L had accepted Light's affection.

He might have been caught off guard two days ago when Light had made him pancakes. He was even more caught off guard the day before when Light had showered him with affections. But now, now that he had time to be prepared, L was taking it all in stride. He was adapting easily, flawlessly. This was no wonder. L had always been a genius at moving with whatever the situation called of him. But the amazing thing about all of this was that L not only accepted Light's affections…he was giving back his own in return.

Light understood perfectly that L had never spoken about any of these things to anyone before. Only Watari. What L was doing right now was offering a small piece of himself to Light as payment for all the kind things he'd been doing for him. He was trying to also be affectionate.

Light's insides squirmed. He could scarcely contain himself. This was a moment he knew he'd remember for a long time. The moment L decided to fully trust him, and open up to him. It meant that at least for this precious second, L was not afraid of him, and trusted him entirely. And dare Light think it…even cared for him.

But his last statement was heartbreaking.

"You…you're glad I'm upset for you?" Light repeated. L did not answer, and instead only stared up at Light with his unusual large, and deceptively empty eyes. Light knew what this statement meant. It meant no one had ever bothered to care about L's sufferings before. No one had ever become angry at these things.

Then again…how could they, if L had never told anyone about this? Light immediately knew the reason behind this sudden story L had told him.

It was a test. L was testing the waters. He was happy at Light's reaction. He was glad that Light cared enough to become enraged. And that meant that if he had been watching for a reaction, then the things he just told Light, although personal and true, were only the beginning. If that story was just a test, it meant that far worse tales lurked underneath his pale face.

"Of course I'd be upset Lawliet…" Light said, his tones much softer now that his anger had left. "What was done to you was wrong." L nodded.

"Yes. You have a strong sense of justice Raito-kun." L lifted his un-bandaged left hand and carefully started chewing on his index finger. Light waited for more, but more never came. It seemed the moment was already over. L was not willing to offer anything else.

Light wondered if he would accept this for a moment. He had a very strong urge to try and force L to say more. After all, he was used to getting his way and what he wanted. And if he didn't, he could always outwit someone or force them to do as he pleased. But L was different. This had been a test. Perhaps it still was. That meant he could not screw it up. L did not like domination. So Light would have to restrain himself.

"Should we go clean the kitchen?"

"I'll do it Raito-kun. I created the mess after all." L hopped off of the toilette seat, standing up as erect as he could manage.

"Well all right. But I'm going to at least have to do the dishes for you. You can't get that bandage wet." Light smiled. L caught it. It was a nice smile. Much warmer than Light's old smiles. L remembered them being cold and menacing. Now…now he enjoyed his smiles. Getting the hang of agreeing, L nodded.

"Ok."


	11. Hold My Hand

**Author's Note:** There's no way around saying it…this section is oober cute. Yes. I used the term "oober." I don't do that often. That in itself should express just how much cuteness is in this section.

But of course, it also contains a crap load of character development and important turning points in the plot. So don't think its all fluff (although it does seem as if it's disguised that way…) Anywho, the title of the chapter has already given more than enough away. Enjoy.

--------------------

"I sincerely hope this outing does not follow our usual routines Raito-kun." L had said it as they waited on the platform, Saturday morning, for the Marta to arrive. The Marta was what the city of Atlanta called their subway system. Although it wasn't technically a subway since half of the time it was above ground. There were portions of its journey that traveled below levels. Perhaps it would have been more appropriate to describe it as a hybrid of both train and subway. In any case, it ran on a track and also transported travelers to most anywhere they wanted to go within the city. Light and L currently waited for the northbound train. They would only need to stay on for two stops in order to get to The Underground that Light had suggested the day before.

Curious about L's statement, Light turned to face him.

"What do you mean?"

"Well, every time we venture outside for fun, something usually goes awry." Light thought about this for only a moment.

"Wait…we've only 'ventured' out for fun twice before this. Not counting furniture shopping, there had only been the beach and the mall back in Japan."

"Yes. Think about those two occasion's Raito-kun." Light immediately caught L's point. The first outing back in Japan had ended in serious injury to L. The second had ended in L's humiliation. Light's cheeks burned. He'd almost forgotten about that cruel prank he had pulled.

But then, as he thought about it more, he suddenly grew worried. That entire day had been about girls, had it not? It had been about L wanting to talk to a girl. But if that were true then…then he certainly couldn't return Light's feelings.

Light bit his bottom lip harshly. The idea was almost painful. He defiantly wanted to reveal himself to L one day when he felt he was ready. But…if L could not reciprocate, then…would it be better to hide his true feelings forever?

No. L would figure it out sooner or later. The key was how he would react. Or maybe, it would be less of a shock if Light told him directly.

"Here it comes," came the cool voice from beside him. Light looked up to see the Marta train approaching. It whooshed by with a fierce gust of wind as it started to slow. Light watched in amazement as L's hair was carelessly tossed and twisted within the winds grasp. And when the train finally came to a stop, L's wild hair fell back into its usual, and seemingly un-orderly way. The doors before them opened, and L stepped casually onto the train as if he'd done this a thousand times.

Inside there were plenty of seats lining the walls of the car they were in. L, having walked in first, chose two seats that faced forward rather than backward. He stepped up onto the plastic, blue seat and curled up in it. Light noted with amusement that L had forced himself into sandals for the occasion. Indeed it was a smart choice. The city wasn't an entirely clean place. Still…Light recalled L going barefoot in Tokyo.

Light sat down in the isle seat seeing as L had taken the window.

"So, you have sandals on."

"Yes." There was nothing spectacularly remarkable about them. They were plain and brown. But still Light was amazed by this slight change. The doors to the Marta closed and the announcer came across the loudspeakers in a quiet and very lazy voice.

"Northbound. This is a northbound train. Destination Sandy Springs. Next stop, Midtown." The train lurched and then it stated to move. Their car gave off the usual vibrations of travel, occasionally hitting a bump here or there. L rested his elbow on his knees, and his chin in his uninjured hand. He gazed out of the window as their train suddenly left the tunnel, plunging them into light.

"So, why did you decide to wear sandals?" Light couldn't help himself. He just wanted to know everything.

"Isn't it obvious? The city isn't all that sanitary. And even though I've not been there personally, I imagine a shopping center called The Underground also can't be all that hygienic. Although I'm not overly concerned with cleanliness like you, Raito-kun, I am aware of it enough to keep myself from picking up some unwanted virus." Light didn't reply. In fact, neither said anything at all as they listened to the Marta clickitty-clack its way down the tunnels.

"So…" Light started. "…wanna tell me why you hate shoes?" L was quiet as he continued to look out the window. He was quiet for an unnervingly long time. So much so that Light felt his nerves start to tighten. He knew he had a short fuse. He tried his best to snuff it. He waited patiently. It wasn't until they came out of the second tunnel that L finally answered.

"So you have not discovered it yourself yet?" Light felt his usual glare rise to his face. _Of course not! Why would I ask if I had?_ But he bit his tongue. Being unable to see L's face it was hard to determine what he was thinking or in most recent days, feeling. L sighed in almost a depressed manner.

"Of course not. You never would have had the opportunity to figure it out on your own. If you do not yet know, I'm afraid I'm not comfortable telling you yet Raito-kun. That is one tale you will have to wait on." Light stared. Was L for real? What about bare feet could possibly be heavier than what L had told him last night? Light's eyes narrowed. He was sure L was simply playing with him.

The second stop came and the announcer told them that this was their station. L and Light both stood and walked toward the doors. They stepped out onto the new platform without a word to one another. They found themselves underground.

Finding an elevator, they worked their way up to street level. Stepping out, they moved outside.

Outside they found themselves in the heart of the city. It wasn't much different from where the park and their apartment building were. After all, they lived very nearby. Still the buildings here were taller, the sidewalks larger.

"It's right there across the street," Light instructed. And indeed, across the street from the Marta station was a large sign that read "The Underground." Waiting for the light to change, the two made their way over along with a medium sized crowd of other people. Everyone seemed to be heading for the same place.

Once crossed they followed the crowd to a set of stairs that ran down a good ways into what seemed like a lower level. Knowing it had been dug below ground, L realized that they were in a very large pit, only it was big enough to allow a very large fountain and people could still see the sky. There was no way of becoming claustrophobic, even for those with the phobia.

Across from the intricate fountain was a huge row of glass doors that lead inside. Light took him to them and they stepped in. Inside was The Underground. The pair found themselves at the very end of it. It stretched all the way to their left and so far back they could not see the end of this very expansive hallway. There was also an exit to their right that read "To Marta." There was little choice but to go left.

The place had been decorated in a very 'cool' way. Most of the walls were made of brick, or plastered to imitate rock, stone, or even dirt. The lighting was dimmer than in a mall seeing as there was a solid ceiling and no skylights. Old-fashioned lanterns and street polls had been set up on either side of the hall. The path itself had been made to look like an old-fashioned cobblestone street way. There were even curbs on both sides putting the shops a bit above the walkers.

There were many lights and neon signs. Current shops and current decorations were mixed with the old. But even so, it somehow maintained its theme. There were several shopkeepers out on the 'street' with carts, imitating street venders. Most sold jewelry or other small tickets while the larger shops had the more expensive items.

"This is…creative!" L said pleasingly. He paused to look at the graffiti that decorated one of the shop brick walls. It seemed authentic, but he knew quite well it would have been cleaned if The Underground had not wanted it there. It must have been done on purpose. Perhaps they had hired one of the skilled teenagers who did it out on the streets illegally. It would have been good to have a young person such as that use his talents for good and to get paid.

Light stepped up beside him.

"Yeah. And they have plenty of activities. It's not just shops." L turned away from the graffiti.

"Activities?"

"Yeah. You seemed to enjoy video games back in Japan. Wanna try out an arcade?" One of Light's eyebrows lifted up smugly as an equally smug smirk came over his lips. L slowly followed suit, allowing a smile of his own to find it's way to his face. Even Light's smirks were no longer threatening. It made him feel almost excited. Like the smile promised new and thrilling things.

"Ok!" More than pleased with L's answer, Light turned down the hall.

"Let's go! This way!"

The minute they entered the arcade Light wondered if he had made a terrible mistake. They were surrounded by shooting games. Light wasn't sure L would want anything to do with such killing. Especially since he was trying so hard to recover from such trauma.

And the games weren't subtle either. Even on standby, lights flashed as guns were fired. Huge explosions were heard going off all around them. Light winced as he heard an electronic girl scream from somewhere to his left. It was loud and overbearing. At least he thought it must be for L. He, himself, had always loved these kinds of games. But he doubted it was appropriate for L.

"It's ok Raito-kun. There's not need to make that face. I'm perfectly aware of what kind of games arcades contain. There should be more than enough racing games to keep us busy and the shooting games don't bother me nearly as much as you seem to think they do." Blinking in surprise, Light looked over to L. Indeed L didn't look too disturbed. In fact, he seemed very calm and not bothered in the slightest.

Light frowned. Maybe it was because it was something he was used too. All of the death and destruction was occurring behind a screen. Right where L was used to having it.

"Perhaps if the games were about killing people I would be unhappy. But this one here is about killing zombies. Such creatures don't exist. Although sometimes I have doubts after learning about Shinigami. Still, if zombies were real, I'd imagine that killing them would be our only option. As such crude and ridiculous films indicate." He then gestured to the game on his right.

"And this one is about killing dinosaurs. Although I wouldn't promote killing something that's already extinct, dinosaurs also do not exist in real life anymore. And the same logic applies. If a raptor were leaping at my face and I had a gun in hand, I dare say I'd probably use it."

He then turned to face Light directly, his features strangely soft in the dim lighting of the arcade. "Of course, all of these concepts are quite ludicrous. And I don't condone violence in such a ridiculous degree. But I am not bothered by it, which is what I assume you were worrying about." Light lifted a hand, absent mindedly rubbing the spot between his eyes.

"Why would you assume that?"

"Because of your guilty face Raio-kun. You wear it like a badge. But as I said, do not worry. There are lots of racing games that we can enjoy. And even a few other games that don't seem as popular." Light stared. L never ceased to amaze him. Light could not help but to think he was brave. He was brave to stand here amongst so much blood and screaming when he had experienced so much in real life. He was brave to look at it all in such an objective way.

"Come on Raito-kun, I would like very much to beat you in a race." And then he smiled. It was prompted by nothing but his own will. L was smiling because he wanted too. It was somehow even more amazing than his bravery. But then Light realized something and his face soured. L was comforting him in his own odd way. Light didn't like that. It meant L was in the drivers seat. Light always wanted to be in the divers seat, always to be the one in control.

L laughed then. Actually laughed. And Light, even through his anger, could not help but to be amazed at how his eyes closed entirety when he was overjoyed.

"No need to be angry Raito-kun! Come! Try and beat me in a race! That will be a nice outlet for you." Without waiting for Light to respond, L turned and hurried over to the nearest game with cars zooming across it's glowing screen.

Light could not ignore the flutter in his chest, so he followed.

They'd had fun. A ridiculous amount of fun. Despite both of their tendencies to be sore losers, neither had been during their time in the arcade. L creamed Light at car races, but Light demolished L in air hockey. Both seemed equally as good at racing on the snowmobiles. Light had won. But he had a sneaking suspicion that the only reason he had was because L had been having far too much fun leaning back and fourth on the life sized snowmobile. He purposefully turned just a little too far and a little too sharply just to feel the sway of the machine beneath him.

Light had enjoyed watching him laugh.

Ski ball seemed to be one of L's favorites. Light supposed it was because the person playing had to use his head and be precise in order to get the small brown ball into the center opening for the most points. Brute force would never help. It was not a physical game. Still, Light thought it was good for L to be active even in this small way. He needed to move around more, it would be healthier for him.

After only a few hours they grew hungry. It was only at that time that both noticed that L had eaten no sweets at all the entire morning. As they stepped out of the arcade and back into the rest of The Underground, L wore a face of seeming shock. Light chuckled.

"Don't look so worried! This was just what we were aiming for, wasn't it?" But Light's words did not seem to erase L's expression. He seemed dumbfounded. Absolutely stunned.

"Well…well yes. But…I didn't expect…" But his sentence was not finished. He didn't seem to even know how to end it. Light grinned from ear to ear. He knew exactly why L had not craved any snacks all morning. He had been happy. He'd been receiving more than enough attention. It took the place of the snacks he usually desired so strongly. And the best part was that Light knew that L knew this also. L knew it was due to Light's attention that he had not needed any food. Light could see that L was thinking about that revelation very hard.

Still grinning, Light put a hand on the stunned man's shoulder.

"Come on, let's go get some grub."

Light then lowered his hand from L's shoulder and instead reached out and grabbed L's un-injured palm.

Light hadn't even thought about it. It seemed like he had simply done it on instinct. As if it were like breathing. Or like he had done it hundreds of times before. It was something that had simply happened. Light didn't even realize what he had done until he started to lead L away from the arcade and toward the restaurant across the hall. But L had not followed and of course, Light had to stop since they were now holding hands. Blinking, Light turned around to see what the matter was.

"Lawliet, why aren't you…" but then Light's sentence was broken off sharply as if it were a solid thing that could be snapped in half. Light's eyes widened in something close to horror when he saw L's puzzled expression lower and focus on the hand that was gripping his own. L stared at their hands in a very perplexed type of way, as if he had never seen or experienced such a strange thing before. Slowly, he lifted his dark eyes to meet Light's, which for once were larger than L's. His mouth hung agape, eager to catch flies as L stared at him with that same puzzled expression.

Light knew he had to act fast. He was giving himself away far more with his frozen shock than he would have by grabbing L's hand. Always having been good thinking fast in a tight situation, Light immediately covered up his frightened look with one of smug superiority.

"Well you were just standing there like a dead fish. Still in shock from not having any sweets? Or maybe your body's going through withdrawal?" Light teased. "I figure if I don't get you moving, you'll stand there forever." But L was not moving. He did not respond, and in fact, his piercing gaze seemed to somehow become even more intense. His black eyes burrowed into Light as they remained fixated on him like glue. L wasn't falling for it, and Light knew it.

He tried not to show fear. If he was fearful, it meant he had something to hide. Quickly, he switched tactics.

"What? You don't like being touched right? Is that it?" Light quickly dropped the small, pale hand he had been holding so eagerly. L let it fall to his side with no resistance. But still he said nothing. He didn't even move. It drove Light more insane than anything else he could have imagined L doing. Light allowed his annoyance to show.

"You didn't flinch this time…" He waited for L to say something to that. But still there was nothing. L continued to stare, his eyes like ex-rays. Light felt strangely vulnerable and exposed, as if he were naked.

"Lawliet, aren't you hungry?" Light prompted again. He was getting desperate. He'd do anything to make L talk. The silence and those fixated eyes…they were drilling into him! Did L know? Had he figured it out? Was he in too much shock to move? Was he formulating a plan? Was he trying to think of a way to get away? Was he disgusted? Was he thinking of moving out? Was he afraid? What? What was it? Why was he staring like that?

"Lawliet what's the matter? Did I invade some personal boundary? If I did I'm sorry. But you gotta tell me stuff like that ok? Or how am I supposed to know?" L still said nothing. Light contemplated hitting him. Anything at all to get a reaction. Anything but this torture. Very quickly, Light was getting mad. L was taking away his control again, simply by standing there and being so defiant.

"Say something Lawliet!" Light demanded it suddenly, his tones sharp. L blinked then, the first movement he showed since his hand had been gripped. His expression changed ever so slightly, it's puzzled look melting away. It instead became blank, like a wall. Light recognized the face well. It was a face L wore when trying to hide what he was thinking.

Light was immediately insulted. It was as if L was withdrawing his trust. It was like he was saying he no longer had confidence in Light. It was as if he were saying he did not feel safe with him, that he thought he was lying or playing games.

Light glared in something that was just short of fury.

"Fine! Don't say anything! God! Next time I'll just let you stand there for an eternity! See if I care! I'm going to go eat! You can stay here and be as still and as silent as you want!" Light turned away from L and had just started to storm away when a soft voice halted him more firmly than a brick wall would have.

"Raito-kun…" the words had come almost inaudibly, but they were louder than anything Light had ever heard before. Light froze from them, as if the words had some sort of power. They were said in such a way what Light simply had to listen. They carried a heavy quality to them, and without turning, or needing to look at L, Light understood that he had something important to say.

Then L moved. He took one step forward, bringing the two closer. Light didn't budge. He could feel L. He could simply tell where he was. He stood just to his right, only slightly behind him. He was very near. And the type of energy that was coming from him was almost electric. Light dared not even breathe.

L stood silently a moment more and as he did, Light understood that the reason he'd been so silent, was because he had been deciding something. L had been deciding what to say, if he should say it.

Light's entire body stiffened.

He figured it out then? Was he giving an answer right now?

_No, don't jump to conclusions!_

After standing quietly for a moment, L then hesitantly lifted his uninjured hand. Tentatively, almost fearfully, he reached out. He stretched his thin fingers, but then stopped just before they reached Light's limp hand. He hesitated a third time. Then seemed to push himself forward. L meekly took Light's hand in his, barely using enough strength to keep the two palms together. Their skin met and Light swore his heart had almost failed him.

L was holding his hand. What did this mean? What was L doing? Unable to move or even breathe, Light had no hope of speaking. He was in far too much shock. L lifted his head and fixated his piercing stare on Light once more. L faced him directly from Light's side, despite the fact that Light was not, or would not look at him.

"…I like the contact…" he said it just as quietly as before, as if it were a terrible secret he was afraid others would hear. His voice had trembled slightly, just barely enough to notice.

The quality of it made Light turn. It made him face L. He had to. And what he saw was more shocking than anything thus far. Light watched in utter astonishment as a very soft, pink color rose to L's cheeks. L's black eyes quickly looked away from Light in seeming embarrassment. He swallowed harshly.

"…I know…this is not your style Raito-kun. I know…you probably did it because somewhere in your mind you remembered your programming from being an older brother to your sister. I know you probably didn't mean it…I saw how embarrassed you were when you discovered what you had done. But…I…feel…" L's words became suddenly choked. He lowered his chin, his mess of black hair falling to cover his eyes entirely. But Light could still see the pink in his cheeks.

"…please humor me Raito-kun. I don't mean to embarrass you. I don't mean to make you do something you don't want to do…but I…the past few days…I've been learning what it means to feel things again. And…I…don't really recall gentle contact with people. The…the only touch I've known has been used to hurt me. But this…this is…" But again, for a second time, L's words were choked short. Light stared in utter astonishment. His almond eyes were huge.

"Raito-kun…please humor me. Hold my hand for just a little while. Even if it's just until we reach the restaurant. I've wanted these simple things for so long…" Light's heart was beating out a symphony. It spasmed and throbbed sending blood, hot and pounding through his veins.

So L still didn't know. He had not put it together. The reason he had frozen like that, the thing he was thinking so hard about had been whether or not he should open up yet again, and tell Light how he was feeling. He had been contemplating whether he was brave enough to take Light's hand, to tell him how desperately he needed contact.

Light's entire face softened. So then, Light's secret was still safe. But more than that…L did indeed trust him. Light had taken his silence as a sign that he was hiding something, that he was fearful of him. But that couldn't have been further from the truth. L was putting his trust in him now, more than ever. So much so that he was scared. So much so that it caused him to blush.

Light felt like a king. He felt suddenly ridiculously privileged to be holding L's hand. L's soft…warm hand…

Light quickly shook off his thoughts. He had to remain focused. L had just revealed another deep personal secret and he was waiting for an answer. And as Light looked at him again, he realized that L was waiting in utter terror. He was hiding it somewhat, but he was allowing most of it to show. He was motionless, uncomfortable looking. His cheeks still pink, he carefully started chewing on his bottom lip.

Light knew then, that he was petrified of rejection. This was probably the first time he'd ever asked anything from anyone in an emotional sense. This was probably the first time in many long years that he put himself out there, dared to risk being hurt again. Dared to risk the pain that Light could cause him.

Light remembered very well one of L's biggest fears. He remembered very well that night back in Japan when Light had woken because L had been screaming. And that phrase he kept crying over and over…_No one wants me._ It tore at his heart.

Even though it seemed like something small and insignificant to others, Light knew that this was the world to L. It had to have been, or he never would have taken such a daring risk in the first place. He would have never risked hearing those words again, in any form. He would not be told he wasn't wanted. And if Light rejected his hand: that was what he'd be saying in one form or another. Light knew it would crush him.

"Raito-kun…please answer…" The voice that came out of L was desperate, and airy. Full of exasperation, Light knew he was falling just short of begging. Suddenly realizing that he'd been thinking far too long and had left L waiting in torment, Light quickly shook himself off. He smiled reassuringly.

"Sure Lawliet. It's not _that_ embarrassing. I suppose I'll survive until we sit down at the restaurant." To confirm his statement, Light tightened his grip on L's hesitant hand. He held the smaller, paler, palm firmly, as if there was no room for question.

L blinked and lifted his gaze. His black eyes wide with surprise, he stared at Light in amazement. Light threw back his head and laughed loudly.

"You look like I just told you that you won the lottery! Come on, it's not that shocking being accepted, is it?" L could not answer. His throat was tight, his eyes still large with disbelief. Light smiled smugly and yet reassuringly at the same time.

"Let's get some grub." He started across the street, gently pulling L with him. L followed numbly, his eyes drifting down to the hand that gripped his. Then slowly, he smiled.


	12. The Water Show

**Author's Note:** Hello fellow readers! I just wanted to chit-chat a bit about some of the reviews. As some have already guessed, yes, I do live in Atlanta. I was just at Dragon Con dressed as wittle L if anyone was there, you may have seen me. I was glomped quite a few times. (It's quite unsettling if you're not prepared.) Anyway, I'll also be dressed as L at AWA (Anime Weekend Atlanta.) If anyone's in the area, it might be fun! Come on down and join us! It's this weekend! I'll be there Saturday and Sunday.

Also, I wanted to address a word that was used in one of the reviews. L was described as being "degraded." I want to explain right now that there is nothing at all degrading about allowing your true feelings to show. In fact, I think it shows courage and strength. Not everyone is brave enough to admit when they are scared, or lonely. I don't think I've degraded L in the slightest by allowing him to feel more in this story than in my last. In fact, I think him learning how to deal with his past traumas is a high honor and liberating. But that's just me. I love my characters, and I wanted to defend them. In any case, this next chapters a bit shorter than usual. But don't worry; the next one will make up for it. Trust me! Tee hee!

Happy reading!

Spotofpaint

---------------------

Light held L's hand for the entire short time it took them to get to the restaurant. Then, as a sort of bonus, he continued to hold it until they sat down. But after L started fidgeting, he released him. He didn't want to come off as being too overbearing. And he certainly didn't want to give himself away. Especially since he'd been lucky enough as it was. He was surprised L had not yet pieced it together. But he supposed there was good reason. L surely was not looking for something of this nature. Unless the thought crossed his mind at some point, he'd never think to explore the possibility. He was blissfully unaware of Light's churning feelings.

Lunch had been decent. Light had a good meal. And even more surprisingly, L ordered waffles instead of dessert. Granted he destroyed any nutrition that may have been dwelling in the waffles by drowning it in syrup and powdered sugar, but Light recognized this significant step. It was the least sugary thing Light had seen him eat up until this point. And more importantly, it was the only sugar he'd had all day.

After lunch, they spent another few hours browsing the shops and horsing around. The day disappeared and before Light even understood where it went, it was time to head back to Centennial Olympic Park for the water show.

"No that's not possible. It's much too early," L had protested. But Light lifted his arm and tapped the face of his wristwatch so that L could see.

"It's eight already. The show's at nine. We'll want to get there early. I hear it's popular and can get crowded. All the good spots will be taken if we wait." L seemed a bit disappointed that they were leaving. Light could not help but to smile. So he had been having more than just fun; he'd been comfortable out in public all day. There had been a few people who stared as they went by, but L didn't seem to notice them, or he paid them no mind. Whatever it was, L hadn't been bothered.

"Come on. Let's try to catch the next train."

The two took the tunnel that connected The Underground to the Marta and they were on the train in little time. Needing only to go two stops, they arrived at their destination shortly. And after an equally short walk, they were back in their area.

"I haven't been in the park yet," L said as they walked under the large metal archway that marked one of its many entrances.

"It's not that amazing," Light said coolly. It was true that it wasn't the most amazing park in the world, but L at least seemed to enjoy it. He supposed Light wasn't as excited because he needed to walk through it at least twice a day for work. But being in the park was significant for L. He recognized his eagerness to be in connection to the day he had gazed out the window. How he had longed to be apart of the park, to be a part of the people who went in and out of it. Up until now, he had only watched and pined, feeling a considerable amount of pain at being excluded from this portion of society. He certainly could have never entered the park by himself. It seemed almost forbidden. It was somehow reserved for families, couples and young lovers. But now that Light was with him, he could enter at least as a friend. A best friend.

L did not hide his smile. He had been smiling quite a lot that day. He was sure that the reason his cheeks were sore was because the muscles in his face were not used to such exercise.

The sun had set and the sky had become a dark blue. Some light was still visible off on the west horizon. There the sun made its last stand for the day. Two stars could be seen. But as L gazed up at them, he soon realized that they were not stars. It was Venus and Jupiter.

A splashing sound caught his attention. L quickly looked back down and to the left. There the man-made river trickled. The water moved over human created stones and around fake rocks placed in its way. L recognized the place immediately. He looked to the right and sure enough underneath a tree sat the bench where the lovers had shared their kiss.

L felt his excitement suddenly intensify by three fold. He didn't quite understand why the bench seemed to create such a reaction, but he would not let it flounder. He had been enjoying the thrill of feeling things all day long. He wanted to feel more things. And L was learning quickly, that he hardly understood half of them. So he went with the flow, like the river to their left.

There was a street up ahead that cut through the park. L assumed it was there for emergency vehicles, because it was blocked off from the regularly used street with cones. And there, just across this car-less street were the fountains.

The ground was made of smooth stone and spread across a wide area in order to hold the huge size of the jets of water. In the stone ground was the Olympic design of the five rings. Spaced evenly throughout each ring were grates and holes. Shooting out of each one of them were the water jets.

They came at different times, some of them creating patterns. Each had a different colored light underneath that changed seemingly when the water felt like it. The jets shot up a good thirty feet in the air.

Currently, small children in bathing suits were running through the fountain area. A small girl squealed with glee as one of the jets blasted her nearby brother. Laughing, she turned and ran when he gave chase. Both children were soaked in an instant.

L delighted in the scene. There was so much to see. Surrounding the fountain area, a good spacious distance away, were three high walls that separated the fountain area from an even higher level. These walls were already mostly loaded with people who sat on top of them. Even on the ground around where Light and L stood people were huddled in groups, awaiting the start of the show.

"We're about twenty minutes early. If we came any later, we wouldn't have been able to find spots," Light said. Seeing the area they were in was perfectly clear, Light sat himself down on the stone ground just in front of the fountain area. L did not sit right away, simply for the joy of watching the children play from a better vantage point.

L inhaled deeply. The smell of the water was clean and invigorating.

"Lawliet take a seat," Light said. L exhaled, feeling refreshed, and then did as Light asked of him without question. It certainly was a new way of living. He did not bother to analyze why Light wanted him to sit. For some reason…it didn't matter. So he curled up, putting his feet beneath him in his usual way.

L inhaled the scent of the water jets a second time. The scene was calming, the smell good and of course, their entire day had been practically perfect. L could hardly believe it was real. But it was. And because it was real, it filled him with a sense of warmth and peace. He simply could not remember the last time he felt this good. Perhaps he never had.

"Raito-kun…" he said softly. For some reason, it was very important to tell Light this amazing thing. "…I'm happy." L turned his attention away from the fountain and fixed it on Light who had also turned to gaze at him. Light wore an expression of great joy. His smile was almost as filling as the fountains scent.

"Well good! That's what weekends are for!" But Light's statement was trivial in comparison to what they both understood. L knew quite well that Light fully grasped the weight of L's previous sentence. Light understood what it meant for L to be happy.

They spent the rest of the remaining time they had in silence. L watched the children play and with quick ease deciphered the patterns the water made as it shot out of the ground. But within an even shorter time than that, the fountain suddenly ceased; all of its water jets disappearing back into the ground.

"Ladies and gentlemen, the water show will be starting in five minutes, please clear the fountain area." The smarter children started to scatter. But some of the smaller ones needed to be fetched by their parents who'd been waiting on the sidelines. Of course, once all the children were gone, there was one wise guy remaining.

_There's always one._ L thought as he amusingly watched the child run away from his mother who tried to gather him. The boy giggled, playing a game of "catch me." L, unable to help himself analyzed the situation.

"He doesn't get enough attention at home," L quickly said. "The mother is harsh and the boy is especially needy." Light glanced L's way, but did not respond. Soon the boy was caught and it was time for the show to start.

"Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the Centennial Olympic Park Water Show!" Immediately the first note to the national anthem blasted over the loud speakers positioned around the arena. The center ring, rose up first, slowly in accordance to the note being held. Then the two rings surrounding it rose to the second note. Then the fourth and fifth rings rose in a glorious wave effect. The colors, of coarse, had been changed to red white and blue.

"Ah, the jets are synchronized spectacularly!" L watched, very intrigued as the jets of water rose and fell, moving much more quickly as the song picked up pace. The patterns became much more complicated as new notes were added. Soon, each jet was acting individually, and in synch with the other jets around it. The colors changed in time to the rhythm as well and it was really a sight to behold.

Then, when the rockets red glared and the bombs burst in air, the jets of water in the center of the rings seemed to explode upward. They let off a huge "whoosh" as they burst fourth at least fifty or sixty feet upward. The crowed ooed and ahhed. L was simply aglow.

The show continued, moving onto a second song that L was not familiar with. It sounded like a popular American song that must have been played frequently on the radio. He watched, just as equally fascinated as the lights and water played together beautifully with the songs tempos.

"Glorious!" He exclaimed at one point.

Light smiled softly as he watched L's face. It was so wonderful to see it light up with joy and excitement rather than pain and sadness. He looked ten years younger when he wore a smile. And…dare Light think it at all…he was cute. Yes, cute. The 'C' word. Especially when his eyes squinted shut in delight. Especially when he smiled in full force, revealing the hidden fact that he had a very slight dimple in his right cheek.

Light rested his chin in his palm, and instead of watching the show, he watched L. He didn't want to miss a second of this rare day. He wouldn't miss a second of L when he was happy.

Light had a strong urge to hold his hand again. But he had to resist. L would surly discover his secret if he made the same mistake twice. So, he would have to be content to just watch for now. He could not risk getting any closer.

After only an hour, the water show ended. The audience clapped enthusiastically, and in another minute or two, the fountains turned back on to their usual sporadic spurting. The same children from before leapt out to go play in the water as they had earlier. Beaming from ear to ear, L turned to Light.

"Fantastic!" Light smiled.

"I'm glad you liked it L." It was hard to sit still. Especially with L looking at him like that. So, he stood. "Let's go home." L nodded without argument and stood beside Light. Despite the happiness he'd felt all day, he was also exhausted. It would be nice to head back to the apartment. Especially after Light had called it 'home.' L had never really thought of it as home before. But…after a day like this, it was easy to see. Yes. It was his home. He had a home.


	13. Demons In The Night

**Author's Note:** As I warned in the last chapter…this one's long. And I mean, it's a doozy. It's sixteen pages in a word document. So uh…good luck. Be prepared and all that. Also, as a sub note: any dialogue that's bolded in this section is done so to indicate that they're speaking Japanese instead of English.

-------------------

"My trainings over?" L blinked up at Watari as he'd been told the news. The training had lasted for years. He'd been training since the very day he'd been adopted. He'd been solving puzzles and complicated mock problems since he was six. Now he was nine. L realized he had not grown much bigger. He understood his stunted development. But solving puzzles was something he was good at. He didn't need to have a healthy physical body for that. He could use his mind and make Watari and all the other superiors happy.

"You…you mean…I'm going to work on a real case now?" Watari nodded, his face rather grim. L noted his expression, but still felt excitement. A real case meant that the superiors thought of him important enough to help. They thought he was smart enough and of significance to their efforts. It meant he was worth something. L nodded briskly.

"Ok! I'm ready Watari!" Watari still did not look happy. But he was trying to cover it now. He reached out, taking L's tiny hand in his own, then he smiled bravely.

"That's great L! Let's move to the investigation quarters. We'll be living there with the rest of the team until we solve this case." L nodded in understanding. He already knew all of this. He'd been told many times how an investigation works. He had it all memorized down to an art. He'd been well trained after all. L felt he was prepared for anything. He could solve any puzzle, crack any code, and uncover any mystery.

As Watari drove them to the new building, L wondered what kind of case his first one would be like. Maybe he would help find a missing person. Yeah. That'd be good. He'd be doing something important for sure. He'd be saving someone's life by using his exceptional skills. He'd be doing something good.

The building was not far, and since they were still in England, L knew exactly where they were and what hotel they would be staying in. His excitement was building. This was surely what he'd be doing for the rest of his life. He would solve crimes and help people in need.

The car stopped and Watari came to his door. After opening it, he took his hand again. Watari started to lead L into the large building before them.

"Now L, remember what we discussed?"

"Yes," he answered immediately. "Once we're inside, we can no longer be affectionate. Because of my young age and my fragile appearance, the other men on the team will be judging me harshly. They'll feel undermined by my involvement in this case. They'll naturally feel ill will toward me. To enforce the idea that I am just as strong and as capable as they are, you and I cannot display signs of our friendship. It will be the only way to gain their confidence and respect." Watari nodded, his face just as sad as it had been back at the hotel.

"Yes. That's just right." The two stepped inside through the sliding glass doors. The very second they shut behind them; Watari let go of L's hand. L let it drop to his side, completely unaware that his hand would never be held again until seventeen years later.

L stood up as straight as his crooked back would allow him, trying his best to appear respectable. Despite his confidence in his abilities, he was nervous. Not so much about solving the case, he knew that would be little problem, they were starting him on a regular police case after all. But he was nervous about the other members on his team. Would they be as harsh as Watari had warned? Would they be as harsh as he had been trained for?

He shook his head. There was no time for doubts. He had to be strong and resilient, or the team would see through him.

Watari stopped outside a closed door. He put his hand on the knob and pushed it in. L walked not behind him or at his side, but slightly ahead. This would subconsciously show the others that L was more important than Watari.

As they stepped in, four heads looked up from their desks, papers and computer screens. All four faces seemed to be in their thirties. And all four froze once they saw who had entered. Eight eyes fixated on the small, pale, scrawny boy in their doorway. No one moved. Finally, the man nearest them at his desk stood up abruptly.

"Watari! What's the meaning of this? Is this some sort of joke?" Watari had instructed L on how to handle this type of situation. L knew quite well that Watari would not be speaking up to defend him. He would not be coming to his rescue anymore. L needed to take charge, and he had to do it alone.

"I assure you Mr. Kings this is no joke. I am indeed the new member of the team you have all been informed of. And despite my age I have just as much talent as every man in this room. I'll not only be of an immense help, but am eighty-six percent likely to solve this case before any of you has the chance. You may refer to me as L." The men gaped. The boy certainly didn't speak like a child. But it was much harder to get over appearances when each man there had at least ten years experience on the job.

"Watari this is outrageous! He's just a boy! And a scrawny, odd looking one at that! How old is he? Six? You can't possibly be serious!" L covered his emotions like he were made of concrete. He never let the sting show.

"You will not address Watari any longer. He is my assistant. I am in charge. If you have any questions or concerns, you will direct them to me." The man in the front glared. He was clearly not happy. None of the men in the room were.

L understood completely. He'd been warned of this. He'd been prepared for it. He was stepping all over their egos with his young age, size and appearance. He had to remain firm. If he acted like a child at all, he'd be eaten alive. He knew this more now than ever. He could feel the hostility in the air. He was scared. L quickly stuffed that feeling away where it wouldn't bother him.

"This is ridiculous." Mr. Kings said.

"What's ridiculous is how we're wasting time with argument. As I understand it, the case has not yet been started. You have only had an hour to gather information. I'm going to need everything you have. Let's stop arguing and get to work. Time is always of the essence." Mr. Kings growled in anger. But the other men were glancing at one another questioningly. L sighed internally, but kept his cool appearance on the outside. He would need to prove himself to them.

L quickly looked around the room, examining each man and his appearance. He took in all the details he could see, all the sounds he could hear, anything at all he could smell. His black eyes immediately snapped to the man at the farthest right.

"You are single and live alone. You live in an apartment complex on the third floor. You own a cat. A tabby. It's at least three years old. It wasn't originally yours, but you couldn't dispose of it out of the kindness of your heart. People find your compassion to be an admirable quality. You're shy around women and haven't had a date in over three months."

The entire team stared, two of the men's mouths hung open. Their eyes grew wide.

"H…how?"

"None of that stuff was in my file!" Exclaimed the examined man. Not wanting to waste time, L jumped right into his explanation.

"It's clear you are single and live alone by several bits of evidence. First, your tie is not tied properly, indicating that there is no wife or girlfriend to fix it for you. Second, you are eating a frozen bagel for breakfast." L gestured to the bagel seated on the desk. "No one was at your home to nag you about eating properly. No one was there to care about what kind of processed junk you ingested. Also, the bagel indicates you slept late and were late in coming here or you would have had time for breakfast. There was no partner to wake you and tell you that you were running late.

I know you're in an apartment on the third floor because the soles of your shoes are worn just right so that you must run up and down the same stairs every day. Since those are work shoes, you could not have worn them exercising in this fashion. It is what you wear at the start and the end of each workday.

The cat was easy. Its hair is all over your suit. The coloring indicates it's a tabby. The fact that it is course and not fine like a kitten's indicates it is older. I know it is not originally yours and you acquired it recently because of the scratch marks on your hands. You do not know how to handle a cat. The older and more healed scratches on your hand indicate that you've had the cat for sometime. Because of this, I could deduce that you could not or would not get rid of it. The only reason behind that is a kind heart. People find this an admirable quality. You must hear that compliment often.

Lastly, the way you stand indicates a lower self esteem than most. You're reaction to my sudden appearance also gave you away as a shy individual. I know for a fact that any man involved in the police field works long hours and has no time for a social life. That combined with your introverted personality makes dating women difficult."

Silence bombarded the room when L finished. The man by the computer actually dropped his pen in shock.

"He…he knew your name too Kings!" He cried.

"That was a simple feat. He carelessly left his wallet open on the table. I can see his driver's license from here." The four men stared, absolutely shocked.

After such a display, there was no more argument about L's abilities. They reluctantly allowed L to get to work, giving him his own computer to work on. But the men where quickly discovering that the boy was odder than he had just displayed. This seemed to bother them greatly. They did not like that Watari brought him constant snacks as he worked. They did not like his odd crouched way of sitting. They did not like the way he held things, or the way he hunched.

"We're working with a psychopath…" One of them mumbled to his partner at what he thought was a safe distance. They assumed L couldn't hear them because he was absorbed in his work. But L was listening quite intently.

"He's barely human. Look at his body movements. He's practically a beast!"

"No nine year old is that smart. I wonder if the government did something to him. Like those clones you're always hearing about. Maybe they messed up his DNA."

"Don't be stupid, he's probably just exceptional in that area. It's like kids with autism. There's one special thing that they can do that makes them genius despite everything else that's wrong with them. Maybe he's like that. We shouldn't pick on him, clearly he's damaged in some way."

"Idiot. He's just trying to show us up. Do you really want a freak like that replacing us? If a kid can do our jobs, what do you think will happen to us?" L tried to ignore them so he could work. But it was difficult. This was his first time putting up with such insults since he'd been adopted. All of his testing had been in quiet controlled environments without others to distract him. Having to work through the pain of barbed words was hard. But still, he dared not let it show. If he failed…the superiors would have no more use for him. Then, he really would be a psychopath. They'd lock him away…

"Hey guys! We got the security tape from the ATM!" The fourth man ran back into the room holding a package. The tape, which L had discovered, was very likely to have actually captured the murder as it took place. If it did, then this case would be easily solved.

L, without a word, left his chair. He joined the others as they crowded around the TV. The man with the package ripped it open and pulled out the tape. He eagerly shoved it into the player.

"Ok, this is it!" The TV turned on revealing a screen of snow. It fuzzed and spit for a few seconds until the tape reel wound to its correct place. Then an image came. The camera was just across the street from the ATM. In clear view was the street, the side walk and the ATM that protruded from the side of the building.

Eager to prove himself to the other members of his team, L immediately began looking around the area for anything at all that may help him. But he knew it was rather pointless since the murder would be their biggest clue.

It was not long before a young woman and a small boy of about L's age walked into view. The woman was very pretty. Tall, about 5'6" with legs to match. She was in a flowered top and an ironed skirt. Long blonde hair flowed down her back. Her son held her hand possessively. He seemed agitated to have been forced to come with her on this errand, but at the same time held onto her fiercely.

The woman said something to her son, but at that moment a car went by and the sound of it drowned out her words. Her son laughed quite hysterically. The mother smiled and L found himself wishing he had known what she had said. He felt rather left out.

_No no! Look for clues!_ He chastised. The woman pushed some buttons and a few moments later the machine dispensed it's reward. The woman took it into her hands and foolishly began counting it out in public. L winced. That was a big no no.

Just at that moment, a tall, pale man began to walk by. He passed the woman and her son, but the flash of the money caught his eye. His head turned to fixate on the flipping bills as the woman counted them.

There had been no warning. The man had struck like a snake. There hadn't even been a hesitation. He snagged the woman's wrist and yanked on her, hard.

The woman let out a frightened scream, her face widening with horror. She instinctively let go of her son so he could flee, but the boy did not move. He stood in petrified fear.

There was a brief struggle. The man pulled on the woman. She dropped the money, sensing it was what he wanted. But for some odd reason, the man had not stooped to pick it up. He did not release his victim.

It was then that L understood. The appeal had not been the money. He was after the woman's wedding ring which was much more valuable. That was what had caught his eyes.

The poor woman didn't understand this. The complete terror on her face told L that she was sure what the man wanted was her, or her body.

"Toby run!" She shrieked at the unmoving child. The child, face white with fear, obeyed. He darted across the street and directly toward the camera L and his team was watching from.

The man's face tensed and a horrible, vicious look came to his eyes. Perhaps it was his fear of a witness. Whatever the reason, he forgot the mother. He shoved her cruelly to the ground and instead bolted after the boy. Both ran toward the camera.

"TOBY RUN!" His mother screamed. A car came by and slammed on its breaks, just narrowly swerving to the side. It's tired shrieked in pain from the abuse. Toby continued to run, but the man behind him was faster and had much longer legs. He was catching up quickly.

L's heart was pounding. It was useless to try and hide his emotions. He knew he could not. He was terrified for the boy. He knew his fear was on his face, where the team could see it if they dared tear their eyes away from the screen. It was just that L had never been exposed to something like this before. Violence, yes. He'd had plenty in real life. But not murder. He had never seen murder. And this…live images…had never been in his training.

Toby reached the side of the street, but an improperly tied shoelace unraveled. The toe of his sneaker caught on the curb as he tried to step up. With a pitiful cry, he collapsed to the sidewalk, skinning both hands as he put them out to break his fall. He was directly in front of the camera now. L could see every hair on his head as he turned in horror to see the robber leaping up onto the walk.

The tall man reached his target.

"LEAVE HIM ALONE! TOBY!" The mother darted into the road. There was another squeal of wheels. A horn screamed from the oncoming car. Headlights washed over the woman's face as it remained fixated on her young son.

"CRACK!" The sound of impact was something L simply hadn't been prepared for. His entire body jerked from the shock. His black eyes became huge with horror as he saw the woman's body tumble over the hood of the car, then over its roof and down the trunk and onto the ground. There she lay still. Something dark started seeping out from underneath her.

L's heart threatened to explode. His hands gripped his knees in terror. He couldn't turn away. He couldn't move. He couldn't even breathe. Where was Watari? Why wouldn't Watari come to him? Why would he not save him?

_I don't want this!_ He thought suddenly, desperately. _I don't want it!_ But he knew he had no choice. He understood that the dead woman in the road was the best anyone thought he deserved. He had been right earlier. L knew he'd be suffering just like this for the rest of his life.

Toby screamed for his mother. Screamed in shock as she rolled until she became still. He no longer even seemed to notice the man. But the man noticed that he was now in trouble. Soon people would come. And there would be a crowd and even more witnesses. And so, he pulled a gun out from under his jacket.

_Please! _L begged in his head, unable to speak the words out loud. _Please no! Don't!_ The man lifted the muzzle; he very coolly pressed the barrel of it against the boy's head as he sobbed. _Please!_ The man waited only a second. And then

"BLAM!" L saw the little boys head explode.

He screamed.

L woke up thrashing in his bed. He thought he'd been screaming…but then he realized that no sound was coming from him. He tried again out of desperation, but just as in the dream, he was simply too terrified to make his voice work for him. His mouth opened, but no noise came from him.

Knowing he was awake, but also knowing it hardly mattered, he let out a sob. He sat up, throwing his blankets off of himself violently as if they were made of poison. He lurched forward as if he were going to try and get out of bed and run away. But instead he ended up collapsing onto his hands and knees. On top of the mattress, he clutched the sheets desperately. He let out a second pitiful sob.

The sound of his own soft cries disturbed him. Perhaps more than anything. Other then that day in the kitchen, he had not heard himself cry in a very long time. He did not like it and was not used to it. But he certainly could not stop.

He'd forgotten about that day. He'd forgotten all about his first case and the way he was introduced to the rest of his life. He'd forgotten the horror.

He'd grown numb with time. L had witnessed much worse after that. Video after video of evidence. He hadn't batted an eyelash after only a year or so of the torture. He had learned just how to kill himself inside. If he were dead…he would not have to feel. He would not have to hurt everyday, every minute he was on a case. He wouldn't have to care. Not for those that were already lost, or for himself.

But L knew he did care. He had not killed his soul successfully. That was why he was crying now. He knew he was crying now, because Light had shown him that feeling things…could be good too. But L knew he could not feel the good things without the bad. He could not feel all the things he wanted…without first accepting all of the horrible things he had denied and buried.

So he allowed himself to let out even another sob, despite how much it ached, despite how much he hated the sound of it. How he wished he didn't have to suffer. L felt certain he had suffered enough. Why he had to do it all over again was not entirely clear. All he really knew through the clouds of his anguish was that he wanted it to stop.

"…R…Raito-kun…" The name came from his trembling lips in a desperate, pathetic way. So much so that L wasn't sure if he had been the one to say it. He sank forward even further, burying his face in the sheets. He didn't want to see anything. He didn't want to be here. But where else would he like to be? Was there anywhere in all the world?

L's answer came from his own utterance. _Raito-kun, _he thought. Light had comforted him once after such an episode. And Light's recent behavior ran through his mind. Light had been so different. He'd become so kind. L closed his eyes and brought back the hug they had shared in the kitchen. How comforting it had been. How it had simply fixed it all. How it had touched that dark spot and made it shrink away. The same dark spot that threatened to swallow him whole now.

Would Light mind doing it again? Or would he find him agitating, or an annoyance.

L admitted to himself that right now, at this moment, he wanted nothing more in the entire world than to feel Light's arms around him. He wanted nothing more than that feeling of being wanted, cared for. Light had offered him all of these things in a very short time. He had offered them without L having to ask. In fact, L had pushed away several times, refusing his affections at first. He had not asked for them…until their most recent outing. He had asked Light if he would humor him, if he would hold his hand.

Light had done so. He had not rejected him. Still…the idea of asking for anything from him was terrifying. Especially now, in the early hours of the morning when he would surely be asleep. Light loved his sleep. L knew quite well that he hated to be woken. He had a rotten temper. And L knew there was little chance that he could handle his temper right now.

But…

L slowly pushed himself up with trembling arms. He lifted his face from his sheets. Even the very thought of having someone to go to was comforting. He hadn't even had that luxury in the past. He felt a little better.

L didn't know exactly where he was finding the strength, or where he was finding the courage, but he was getting out of bed. He swung his legs over the side, and then touched his bare feet to his carpeted floor. Hesitantly he stood in his white tee shirt and blue boxers. Then one foot found it's way in front of the other. Then the next foot copied it's partner. In a short time, he had made it to his door.

Slowly he reached out a trembling hand. He had managed to stifle his sobs, but his vision was still blurred. The cool metal of the knob felt nice against his burning skin. He twisted it with his good hand, and then stepped out into the darkened hall.

L was immediately spooked. By what he wasn't sure. Perhaps it was the deadly silence that only the depth of night could produce. Those few hours between two and four when it seemed as if the entire world were in a coma…or worse. It was easy to feel as if he were the only living being on earth.

Even though he had never been a religious man, it was very easy during these hours to imagine that the apocalypse had already happened, that all human life had been wiped out, sent to either heaven or hell. Now, all that was left to roam were the Devil's demons and one unlucky man that everyone else had forgotten and left behind. In the pitch black of the hall, shadows made a life of their own.

L was certain it was all simply a matter of his state of mind. He was still connected to the child he'd once been due to his memory. And that child…had always been afraid.

For a long time, he couldn't bring himself to move. He felt petrified. L squeezed his eyes shut, trying to block out the view of the black hole before him. But that only made it worse. Now he could imagine some sort of horrible creature lurking toward him. Something straight from hell. The types of demons he used to deal with in the flesh and blood everyday. Perhaps it was a man he had sent to the chair, come back to earth in his new suffering form to get him. And of course, with his eyes closed, it could be right in front of him and he'd never know until he felt its breath on his face…or smelt the sulfur.

_Stop it! You've never been a coward! You've never let imagination rule over facts and logic! Nothing you fear right now can possibly be real! Shove it away! It doesn't belong to you!_ But L knew very well that it did. And he was also aware of the fact that the reason it had all built up to this terrifying point was because he had indeed been shoving it away. He'd been shoving all of the demons away for years. He'd been doing it ever since that day when he was nine years old. And now there were too many for him to hide. They would get him.

_Raito-kun._ He reminded himself. Even his name "Light" seemed to be a blessing. L felt like Light would be able to protect him somehow, like he could chase these monsters out from inside of him. He did not care to as why he felt this way. It was the only light source he had in this sudden darkness.

L opened his eyes. Finding no demons waiting for him, he uneasily started down the hall. Still trembling slightly, he passed the bathroom door on his left. The next upcoming door was Light's. L found his steps hurrying, but he did not break out into a run as his inner child demanded. Instead, he reached the door at a brisk pace. There he stopped.

The door was closed.

For some reason, because of this, it seemed like an impenetrable barrier. It was shutting him out, telling him that he wasn't welcome. L tried to steady himself, feeling a type of panic start to rise in his chest.

_No! All you have to do is open the door!_ But this seemed like a completely unreasonable action against the door. It stood so tall, so solid, so firm. It's white coloring glared down at him with wicked intent. It seemed to almost be laughing at him.

_Raito-kun will not want me to disturb his slumber._ L thought. _He'll be very upset with me if I go in. He'll be angry. He'll say it's an invasion of privacy. He'll yell. He'll swear. He'll degrade me. _L's beacon of hope seemed suddenly very dim. Why did he think Light would help again? Surely that original thought was absurd. L remembered how very upset Light had been the few times he had woken him back in Japan.

_But wasn't that Kira? Or was it Light's true temper? _It was a hard question to figure out when his heart was racing and his cheeks were still wet with tears. L found himself suddenly afraid of absolutely everything. He was afraid to remain in the hallway, but just as frightened to go inside. He was scared to stand still, but petrified to move. He didn't know what to do. He found himself freezing up entirely.

L squeezed his eyes shut a second time. Things were swirling out of control. He didn't want to risk angering Light. Especially since he'd been so kind to him lately. L was aware that he could ruin everything good that had happened by stepping into this room. If he made Light angry…he wouldn't care for him anymore. He'd revert back to the way he was. Wouldn't he?

L stood just outside Light's door, trembling like a rabbit. He simply could not bring himself to enter.

Slowly, he lifted a hesitant hand. He gently placed his fingertips on top of the painted wood. It was only slightly whiter than his skin. L stayed standing this way for several seconds, as if trying to feel Light through the barrier before him. But he could not.

He lifted his other hand; his bandaged hand and placed that on the door as well. He stood silently, feeling the door beneath his skin. But it did nothing for him. That same pressure in his chest seemed to be building. It caused his trembling to grow.

He exhaled sharply. He concentrated on the door, trying very hard not to imagine more demons at his back, coming from both the left and right ends of the hallways. It was crazy. They weren't really there. It was all in his head.

_Maybe I've finally lost it, _he thought in misery. _The caretakers were right. I'm crazy. I belong in the nut house if I'm feeling demons in the dark. _But the problem was that so many of them had been real at one point. Men who had sworn on their last breath to kill him. Murderers who had vowed blood. Rapists who had promised him much worse than blood if they ever had their way. They were all dead now. The world's worst and most vile of scum sent to death. They would deal with hell and demons. Not L.

But because they were once real…this was the reason it was so easy to see them rising from the dead to carry out their revenge.

L would not turn to face them. He continued facing the door, his trembling back to the darkness. He had to decide. He had to decide weather to go in or not. He could not stay here.

A foolish voice inside told him that he could, that he could curl up on the ground and sleep right here until morning. But L knew that would never do. He had to either go inside and wake Light, or go back to his own room empty handed.

Both concepts were terrifying. And he was so sick of making decisions, so tired of balancing right and wrong and facts and logic that he simply wished that someone would come along and decide for him. Just so he wouldn't have to.

_A selfish thought. This is my problem. _But that certainly wasn't very comforting. He closed his eyes a third time to try and gather his bearings. But the very second he did, he was greeted with the image of the small boys head shattering from a bullet. His blood sprayed.

L let out a small gasp, his eyes snapping back open. And when they did, he found his sight focused on his bandaged hand, which was still placed on the wood of the door in front of him.

Strangely…L started to calm when he looked at it.

Light had been so concerned when he saw L had been burnt. He had rushed him right to the bathroom despite protest. L recalled how tender he had been, how much care he had taken to do the bandage right.

L's fear slowly started to melt away. Yes, that was right. This was the way Light was. The one that he was so afraid of was not Light Yagami at all. The man L was afraid of was just another demon. Kira was another demon. But not Light. Light was a human being. He was a man.

L reached down to the door handle and gripped it with a firm resolve. Without granting the demons in the hall another bit of attention, he pushed the door inward. He stepped across the threshold, and then closed the door behind him quietly. He shuffled across the carpet in his bare feet toward the bed and the lump that resided in it.

Light would help him. He would understand.

Filled with new conviction and a desperation too prove this newest thought right, L moved himself just next to Light's bedside. The blinds in front of Light's windows were drawn shut to block out the morning sun that would rise in another few short hours. As such, Light's room was actually darker than the hall. But L's eyes were already adjusted to the darkness. And the room felt much safer than the hallway, despite the quality in the light. L glanced down to his sleeping roommate.

Light lay on his back, slightly to the side. He was not curled in his sleep as the natural fetal position tended to make other people do. He did however have a haphazard arm flung over to the opposite side of the bed where L stood. His palm hung over the mattress sticking out into thin air.

But his sleeping face was what was the most impressionable. Light was usually very full of emotion. He wore some sort of expression every second he was awake. L was used to seeing a scowl, anger, annoyance, or as of late, happiness, laughter, or joy. Now it was slack, everything was smoothed. He looked younger. Care free.

L started to doubt himself all over again. Dare he wake him? Dare he take such a peaceful state of mind away from him? Wasn't he just being selfish? Or worse…did he want to risk seeing such a serene expression become filled with hostility?

L wondered if he was feeling better enough to go back to his room without waking Light at all. But the moment he faced the closed bedroom door, he became filled with the same dread. It was absurd…but it just _felt_ like all of them were out there waiting for him. And God only knew what they would do if they ever got their hands on him.

Of course, L knew nothing was really out there at all. But it felt like there was. And his feelings had become much more prominent since their move to America. They were exploding with the speed they grew. He could no longer ignore them like he used to. So, in fear, he faced the sleeping Light. He reached out a small, slender, trembling hand, and very gently, placed it on Light's shoulder.

"Raito-kun…" he whispered. Very timidly, and fearfully, he shook his roommates shoulder. Light's brows instantly knitted together in the tight expression L feared. He let out a soft groan. L immediately snatched his hand backward and away from Light as the younger man shifted in his sheets.

"…**You and yer midnigh' snacks**…" L blinked when he heard the Japanese. Clearly Light wasn't fully awake yet. He knew he'd have to provoke him further, despite his fears, if he wanted him to come around. So he summoned even more strength and courage, forcing himself to reach out a second time. He gently touched the younger man's shoulders with his spindly fingers.

"…Raito-kun…wake up." Light groaned a second time, this time rolling over so that his back was to L.

"…**What're ya sayin'? Not…making no sense**…" L let out a rush of air in frustration. Light could not understand his English in his sleep. L knew that if he were to get the message across to the subconscious mind, he'd need to revert back to the language they used to use when they had first met one another.

"**I don't want snacks tonight Raito-kun. Please wake up.**" Light stirred at this. The Japanese seemed to have worked. He rolled over the other way, this time allowing L to see his face. His eyelids fluttered. L waited, holding his breath in anticipation. He felt almost sick with fear.

_He'll be angry…_

"Hmm?" Light's eyes opened slowly, the auburn color beneath becoming visible. At first he seemed dazed. It was three in the morning after all. L was sure he had interrupted his REM cycle. Still L waited patiently for Light to finish coming into consciousness.

Light yawned loudly, his mouth stretching open to twice its usual size. His eyes fluttered a second time. The hand that had been slung over the side of the bed retracted and lifted to his struggling eyes. He rubbed them sleepily.

When his hand lowered and his eyes finally remained open, L was able to see the confusion enter them. No doubt Light was wondering why he was awake while it was still dark out.

"…Raito-kun…" Light sat up so abruptly that L was startled. He jumped slightly backward and away from Light's sudden movement.

Seated on top of his bed, Light stared at L through the darkness, his face open with shock.

"L?" He blinked in amazement. "Wh…what're you…" Light looked around the room in a seeming frantic manner for a second, as if expecting an enemy or something equally deadly. But there was nothing. Seeing that he was not in danger, he faced the pale, thin man more calmly. Light blinked, his eyes narrowing slightly.

"Dare I ask what time it is?" He glanced at his bedside clock. His eyes narrowed even further. His gaze sharpened as he sent it pointedly L's way. L flinched. It was just the expression he feared. "Is there a reason you decided to wake me at three sixteen in the morning or are you just trying to torture me?"

L felt his throat close at the same instant his chest tightened. He was angry. Of course he was.

_Did I really expect something different?_ His panic from earlier had not fully subsided and now he felt it growing again. It became enflamed underneath such a harsh, cold stare. L knew he certainly could not tell Light the true reason now. He couldn't possibly. He could not let Light in again. He could not help him to understand. Light would use it against him. He would hurt him. L could imagine plenty of things he could say to the episode he'd just had.

L lifted his bandaged hand to his mouth and cruelly bit into one of the exposed fingers. _He won't care for me anymore. I've ruined it._ Against his will, his body rebelled and let off a tremor. He bit even more viciously into his nail, but there wasn't much nail left to chew. Instead his teeth cut into his skin. He tasted blood.

"Well? You gunna answer me?" Light demanded it coldly. It sent a shiver up L's spine. _Kira's just another demon._ He tried to tell himself. He pulled his bleeding finger away from his mouth and forced an answer out in steady, cool, collected tones.

"I just wanted a snack Raito-kun." It was a lame excuse. L was ashamed that it was the best he could come up with on short notice. He'd been in far worse situations where he had come up with ingenious things to say. He knew Light would see through it. Maybe…subconsciously he wanted him too. Perhaps that's why he'd said it.

Light's angry eyes slowly widened with surprise. He blinked, trying to get the last tendrils of sleep out of his clouded mind.

_A snack?_ It didn't make any sense. None whatsoever. They had separate bedrooms now. L had never woken Light since they'd moved to America. He was free to visit the kitchen on his own. He would have had no need for Light.

His head finally clearing, Light took a second look at L. Why would he come in to his room at night and say something like that?

Under more scrutiny, Light discovered several disturbing things about the thin man before him. He was standing in a much more hunched position than he had been in the past few days. His head was lowered, his black mess of hair covering his sleepless eyes. His injured hand was lifted to his mouth where he began to chew.

Light's eyes widened with sudden alarm. Even in the dark he could see the shiny blood that had started to drip down L's index finger. Then something even more distressing occurred, he saw L tremble.

Light immediately grabbed his covers and tossed them back and away from himself. He then moved quickly to his feet, standing up on the bedroom carpet. Something was terribly wrong.

"Lawliet." Light went to hurry to him, but he had moved abruptly. He watched in fascinated horror as L shrunk back and away from him, as if he were afraid Light would strike him down, or beat him. He backed up several steps, unwilling, or unable to hide his sudden fear.

Light felt his heart twist in his chest. _What exactly is happening here?_ He tried to think back to how he had woken. It was hard to recall due to his dead sleep. He was sure L had shaken him awake. Light knew he had responded harshly. But that was no reason to act like this.

But most importantly…why had L woken him? He had come for a reason, and it certainly wasn't snacks. Light's eyes softened. Then the only thing he could have come for…was company. Company that he needed so badly, that it required him to get up in the middle of the night and risk waking his roommate.

"…Lawliet…there's no reason to be afraid of me anymore." Light hoped the truth in his tones had been conveyed. But he knew that it would be hard for L to trust him if he was in a state of panic and fear as he seemed. Light had after all, hurt L very badly in the past. L took his hand away from his mouth a second time in order to answer. Light watched his hand tremble as he did so.

"…I've angered you." Light blinked. L had hardly shown fear toward his anger before. L had stood up to it in the worst of circumstances. He'd faced death. Why would it bother him now? "Don't be angry…" his voice came in a sudden whisper, and with it, Light grasped at the tail end of understanding.

There was really only one reason his anger would cause L fear now, when in the past it had not. And that was that Light had not truly cared for L in the past. For the past several days, the past week even, Light had been treating L much more differently. He'd made sure to show compassion, consideration, and empathy. He'd kept his usual anger in check. Light had been concentrating on showing L that he cared, without going to far as to give himself away.

Light had watched L absorb these new things. He'd watched him eat it up like candy. He'd taken to such kindness and attention so quickly and so successfully that it had all but replaced his need for sweets. Light had shown that L was worth more.

No doubt, that L was now afraid that these new things would be taken from him. He was most certainly terrified that he could do something to upset Light, make him angry enough so that he would stop caring for him. L was unable to understand…that this was not possible. Light knew that L could do nothing to make him angry enough to stop loving him. But L could not grasp this concept…unless Light told him so.

And Light was certain he wasn't ready for that.

"…Raito-kun…I'm sorry I bothered you. I…I'll let you rest." Without warning, L turned away from Light and headed for the door.

"Lawliet, wait!" But L wasn't stopping. There was no way in hell Light was letting this go. As L went to rush by him, he reached out and snagged his wrist. L let out a small gasp. He flinched and tried to pull away. Light wasn't having it. He grabbed his other wrist, halting him entirely. Using the strength and weight he had over the smaller man, he pulled L forward so that the two faced one another. He brought L in close, despite the way he was squirming.

"Lawliet stop! I'm not angry! I just want to talk!" L's initial panic seemed to subside at least in a small amount. He stopped struggling. Still Light did not release him. He glanced at L's bleeding finger. "…you've hurt yourself." He said sadly. "And you bothered to wake me. It must be something other than snacks. What happened Lawliet?" He had used gentle tones, trying his best to demonstrate that he was indeed not angry. He wanted to make sure L understood that he wanted to help him not hurt him.

For a second or two, there was nothing but silence. Light understood that L was very unstable at the moment, but it was still a shock to feel his thin wrists tremble in his grasp. L would not look at him. He had turned his head away. His mess of hair hid his eyes, but not his mouth, which was forming into a crooked grimace.

"I…I was told not to feel things…" L whispered to his captor. "…I…I'm not supposed to…" but his broken speech never finished what it started. But L didn't need to. Light understood exactly what he was trying to say. His eyes narrowed harshly once more, but they held no anger for L. All of the anger he felt now, was toward the people that had done this to L. All the people who had forced L to keep everything he was, every bit of him that was human inside where no one could see it.

It was infuriating. It was enraging to see L suffering now, because he did not know how to express himself. Because he had kept all of the horror and all of the vile things he'd been through hidden away. Light recognized that now it was all trying to come out at once. And that was no good either. There was too much in there. Too much pain and misery. L needed to let it out a little bit at a time. If it all happened at once…he could possibly go mad.

"Lawliet…listen to me," Light whispered back, his voice gripping and demanding of attention. "The people who told you that are idiots! No one can lock themselves up forever. Not even you, who seems to be so good at it. People feel things. It's our nature. We cannot help it. We were meant to feel things. Not everything we feel is good. But even the misery and the pain is necessary. You have to feel it. If you don't let yourself feel it…then it sits inside of you and it festers. It rots. Letting yourself feel it is like throwing it away. It's how you get rid of the things that hurt."

L's trembling was starting to increase. Light's heart picked up speed. This was the right thing. He knew he was doing the right thing. L needed his help throwing away some of the garbage that was inside of him. He couldn't do it alone. He didn't even understand how to start. So Light would explain it to him. And he would support him. But still…it was hard, knowing that he was about to make L cry. Even if it was the best gift he could give to him.

"Lawliet…you're allowed to feel things now. You're _supposed_ to feel things. There's no reason to stick to your training anymore. And there's no reason to listen to all those people who hurt you. You feel whatever the hell you want to feel. You understand me? Go ahead and do it anyway you want to."

Light watched L's grimace contort into something even more twisted. His shuddering body seemed like it was starting to sink to the floor. His black hair soon hid his entire face as it drooped. His breathing had become heavy and slightly erratic, but he was still holding back.

There was only one reason Light could think of as to why.

"I won't think less of you Lawliet. In fact I'd think more of you. It takes courage. It makes you brave. Everyone cries. Even me. As you said to me once before back in Japan: you're human too. And this is what part of being a human is about. Some people think it makes them weak. But those people are wrong. It takes a lot of courage to allow yourself to feel pain. It's much more honorable than taking the cowards way out and trying to hide it or cover it up."

L trembling was almost uncontrollable at that point. Light was certain he knew how to cinch the knot. His tones softened, and he spoke even more gently now. He leaned in closer, placing his mouth very near L's ear.

"I'm not going anywhere Lawliet…it's ok." And that seemed to finally be the key. L inhaled sharply, and then released a small and pitiful sounding sob. The tears fell. Light watched them as if they were made of magic. They rolled out from underneath their black veil, traveling very quickly down white cheeks. At the edge of L's jaw line they hung briefly before glittering in the moonlight and then freefalling down to the blue carpet below. After the first tears journey was over, many more followed.

L's back heaved as he let out a second sob. His small form became the victim of violent shuddering. Seeking to steady him, and also to be close, Light released L's wrists and then proceeded to wrap his arms around his diminutive frame. He pulled L in close, bringing him in to the warmth of his chest.

L responded almost immediately by burying his face in Light's neck. He curled his arms upward so that they were pressed tightly between both his own and Light's chests. He sobbed a third time, letting his pain rain down onto Light's skin.

Light struggled to steady his heart. It pounded violently with both pain and joy. It was painful to see L so torn. But at the same time…Light could not imagine being happier. This was the closest they'd ever been. It seemed to get better every day. But the situation was crushing.

Light buried his nose in L's hair. He could not help himself. L smelt good. Like brand name soap and a hint of brownies. It was a pleasing combination. And despite it's messy appearance…that black matt of hair was soft to the touch.

It was torture to remain steady. Light wanted to do more. Comfort L in other ways. He wanted to lift his hand and run it through that mess of hair. But now was certainly not the time. It would be cruel to put more onto L's plate at the moment. It would be a vicious act to unload such a heavy revelation onto him when he was already dealing with so much.

Light would not hurt him. He would wait.

So he did nothing. He kept his hands still and his stance firm as he held him. L continued to tremble in his grasp. It was good to know he was releasing some of that pent up pain. Light knew he would feel better once he was done, despite how much it was probably hurting him now. It would ease his burden.

"…I've gotchya," Light whispered.

Slowly, after time had passed, L's sobs lessened, his tears rolled to a stop, and his trembling ceased. He regained control quickly and after only a few moments. Light knew it was just right. If a person cried too long, they could get stuck in a funk. Too little, and they were simply repressing themselves. Despite L's inexperience, he seemed to know just when he was done.

And as he finished the two came apart.

They ended up traveling into the kitchen, where L was treated with an early morning snack. It helped steady him even though he'd already had Light's company for that. As they sat together at the table, L explained openly to Light just exactly what had happened.

He had not held back. He told Light all about his first mission. He explained about his training, the way the team had treated him, how Watari had reacted and most importantly, how he was first introduced to such violence. He explained in gritty detail about how the mother had been struck by the oncoming car, and how her son had been shot in the face. He explained about all the things he had felt afterward, how he had reacted poorly, and how he was in fact kicked off the team and forced into more training before subjected to another case.

His new training consisted of watching many more such video's, many of which had been worse than the first. They had been used to desensitize him so that he could watch them objectively and make rational, logical decisions.

L explained all about what that had truly done to him as a child of nine and how he felt about it now.

All in all, Light realized, that this was a heart to heart. L was completely open now. He wasn't hiding anything. This was who he truly was.

It was amazing. And Light never got tired of listening, even after L got tired of talking. After several hours, L grew weary from his nightly trauma. In the comforting presence of the one person in the entire world who cared for him, he managed to fall asleep at the table. Curled in his chair, arms crossed over his knees and head resting on top of them, Light could not help but to think it was the cutest thing he'd ever seen.

Light silently cleaned up the empty ice-cream bowl that rested on the table in front of the sleeping L. He put it away. Then he went and casually grabbed a blanket from the couch. Not daring to risk moving and waking him, he simply laid it gently across L's shoulders. L didn't stir.

By then the sun was rising. Light only had an hour before he had to leave for work. He was reluctant to go. But he knew L would be fine. He was better than he'd ever been before. Light knew that when he saw L again…he'd probably be a different person. He wondered how this would affect him. For the better he was sure. Light knew he'd be happier.

After getting ready for work, tiptoeing around his sleeping love interest so as not to wake him, Light quietly went to the front door. He gathered his things and put on his shoes. Opening the door, he glanced backward and into the kitchen one last time. There L slept just a he had left him. Light smiled softly, and then stepped out of the apartment and into the hall.


	14. The Tour

**Author's Note:** Ok, this chapter was so long, I tried to divide it in three to make an easier read. Hence why three chapters have been posted at the same time. It was originally supposed to be one, but I'm afraid it's way too long. I wanted to split it up for those readers who don't have a lot of time and want to take one section at a time. But of course, if you have all the time in the world and would like, you can read all three together as was originally intended. I think you'll all be very pleased. I had lots of fun revealing Light's little secret to L.

-----------------

When L awoke the next morning, he felt funny.

There was really no better adjective to describe it. It was just…funny. He struggled to express this in better terms, just for his self-satisfaction, but he could not because he had never felt this thing before.

It felt good, whatever it was. He felt lighter somehow, as if he'd been walking around with an anvil on his back all this time and had never realized it before. It was as if the air were lighter, thinner or cooler. Or maybe as if he had lost weight. But of course, that wasn't quite right, because he was sure he'd feel sickly or weak if he'd lost more weight. He certainly didn't feel sickly. He felt…a little stronger in fact.

It was more like there was less gravity. That was more accurate. It was simply easier to move about. It was easier to think. It was easier to feel all of the things he'd found so troublesome only the day before. Things were simply nicer somehow.

When he sat up, he realized he was still in the kitchen. A blanket slid off of his shoulders and onto the floor, taking the warmth with it. Blinking, he glanced down at it.

_Light must have put it on me when I fell asleep._ That was an interesting thought. He'd fallen asleep at the table? Before Light? L had never been a good sleeper. He had always ended up in bed many hours after the younger man. And even then he woke many hours earlier than him. But last night…sleep had simply claimed him. It took him like something he could not fight.

He could not complain. He felt rested. L could not recall the last time he felt rested and fully awake. It contributed to this new, funny, light feeling.

L did not concern himself on what this funny feeling actually was called. If it had a name, it did not matter. He liked it, and that was all that he cared about. He did not want to kill it by analyzing it or mistrusting it. He would not risk chasing it away, even for something as important as thought process. So instead, he got up out of his chair.

The first thing he did was scoop up the blanket. He folded it up and walked it back into the living room where it belonged. He laid it across the back of the couch where it originally rested as a sort of decorative piece. L didn't much care for decoration, but Light liked cleanliness, so he would not leave it on the floor.

After putting the blanket away, L discovered that he was hungry. It was a new type of hungry that he wasn't familiar with. His stomach felt empty. He had a physical urge to eat. He didn't feel at all compelled by his emotions, or his suppression of them. L recognized this substantial difference immediately. He was hungry for something special. Something different…what was it? Not chocolate. Not ice-cream. Not pastries or cake. Candy perhaps? No. Not candy.

L struggled in his indecision. He could not think of the thing he wanted. He certainly wanted to eat something. But…he didn't want…something sweet.

Alarmed, he thought about oatmeal.

Yes. That was the thing he wanted.

L went back into the kitchen and over to the cabinet that held the oatmeal. In a sort of numbed shock, he poured it out and began to make it in accordance to the instructions on the package. He did not question it, despite the oddities of it all. When he was done, he automatically grabbed the sugar. But he stopped himself just before pouring it in.

L stared at his frozen hand.

He did not want to add sugar.

Feeling completely deranged and as if he were on another planet, L took his bowl of oatmeal to the table where he sat back down. He began to eat it plain.

He enjoyed it.

The feeling of lightness and newness L had experienced in the morning did not fade away. And after breakfast he decided on something crazy: he decided to go out. He felt suddenly as if he were missing out on something important. Like something was happening outside that he should be apart of.

He'd never had such a feeling before.

But the moment he stepped outside, he understood exactly what he wanted to do. He wanted to go to the aquarium. He wanted to be apart of Light's first tour group. He wanted to see Light in action. So L crossed the street and stepped out into the park.

He was not afraid.

It was odd. All of it. But he did not question it. He did not want too. All he needed to know was that it was right. And this was never doubted.

The park was wonderful looking and green. But his destination seemed much more luminous. The giant blue building grew larger on the horizon as he neared. L discovered that the walk was not very long. It was only half an hour or less. He did not bother to count the exact minutes, or to compute the percentage of likeliness that it would rain on his way back. It just didn't seem important.

L drifted along in this new existence without question. He drifted right on up to the ticket window where he paid for entry. Since it was a Monday morning, the crowds were thin and not nearly as overbearing as on weekends and holidays. The kids were in school, most adults in work. The people who were at the aquarium at all were mostly tourists. Therefore L was not overwhelmed at all. He slipped right on in with no issues.

Once inside, he continued his drifting patterns right up to the information window. He was not self-conscious about his appearance in the slightest as he walked up to the woman and offered a bright smile. The smile was equally shocking.

"I'm here for the tour," L explained. "Light Yagami's tour, specifically. Could you direct me to where it will begin?" The receptionist gave him an odd look, which L didn't seem to notice, and then pointed him off in the correct direction. L found the spot he needed just inside, and he joined the large group of waiting tourists with ease. He received a few looks of curiosity, but he paid them no mind. He instead concentrated on the excited feeling he had in his chest. He really wanted to be apart of Light's first tour, and he wanted to see him work. He would accomplish both of these things soon.

Most importantly however, L was looking forward to seeing Light's expression when he saw him in the group. L smiled just thinking about it. Yes. It would be a pleasing expression. L did not bother to contemplate why this would be pleasing to him.

The gathered crowd was only kept waiting a few minutes. Then, exactly at nine o'clock, Light stepped out from the employee's only door. He seemed slightly flustered or annoyed as he took his place in front of the crowd. L only smiled. How very much like him. Light adjusted his microphone on his blue aquarium shirt. L watched with interest. He had not seen L yet.

Light clapped his hands to get the crowds attention, and then raised both of them up into the air. The people in the small group stopped speaking to one another and faced Light, giving him their attention. L watched, intrigued when Light forced a smile onto his face.

"Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the Georgia Aquarium, the largest and most engaging aquarium in the world! I am your tour guide Light Yagami and I will have the honor of showing you around our aquarium for the next two hours. In the first hour we will be exploring two of the five wings. We'll be looking at The Tropical Diver and our all-famous Ocean Voyager, which contains the only whale sharks in captivity, and also our underwater tunnels! Then we will be taking a short break so you can use the facilities. Then we'll enter our second half and take a look at the remaining three wings: The Cold Water Quest, which contains our beluga whales, The River Scout and finally the Georgia Explorer, which has our petting tank."

Light spoke clearly and accurately. His ever so slight Japanese accent however, seemed a bit more prominent with the amplification of the microphone. L realized, oddly, that he had always enjoyed Light's accent. A few in the crowd seemed to have the same reaction.

"Let's not waste too much time on introductions. I'm sure you folks came to see some sea life! So let's get right to it. If you'll follow me this way, we'll be entering The Tropical Diver first."

Light turned and headed down the first tunnel on their right. The aquatic life was fascinating. But sadly, L already knew all of the things Light was explaining to the rest of the crowd. L noted immediately that Light had dumbed down his usual flutter of intellect and wit. He supposed it was quite necessary. The crowd would have never been able to keep up with Light's brilliant speech patterns. Plus, there were small children in the group. They would only be able to grasp the very basics that they were told today.

L recognized each animal that they came across. He in particular enjoyed the moon jellyfish. Although in his opinion, the lights they put on them took away from their natural beauty. The colored lights made them look more luminescent, yes, but the problem was that the light slowly changed from one color to another. This seemed to pose a problem for the crowd, which, L was sad to discover, were more idiotic than they looked. Many thought that the jellies were changing color on their own accord. Synchronized nonetheless. None seemed to be able to grasp the idea that it was just a light shining up from the depths of the tank. L would not be bothered to explain it to them.

Light had still not seen him. Mostly because L was being careful not to be seen yet. L was surprising himself at the fact that he was now playing a game. He could not remember the last time he had played a game that didn't involve the possibility of him loosing his life. This time, it was mostly for fun. And to surprise Light at just the right moment.

L waited all through the first wing. They headed into the second. It was here that things really became interesting. The group stepped into the glass underwater tunnel.

Despite L's knowledge, he had never experienced anything like this before. He'd never been privileged enough to see such sea creatures in such a way. Water surrounded them. Blue light filtered through from the sun above. The water created spectacular patterns on the tunnel floor.

As L looked upward, a school of stingrays seemed to fly overhead like birds. There were dozens of them, and it was beautiful. Off in the distance, through both the real and fake plants that colored the tank, one of the huge whale sharks swam. It was gorgeous in many ways, and it was even more so with Light's voice speaking in the background.

It was then that L decided to make his presence known. He knew exactly what he wanted to say. He worked his way to the front of the crowd and closer to where Light stood speaking. He made his way to the very front, carefully moving his way between bodies until finally he was standing almost directly in front of Light. L immediately raised his hand, interrupting Light's speech.

"Yes, I have a question," L said. Light had stopped mid-sentence. The crowd no doubt thought it was because the strange, skinny man in the front had rudely interrupted him. But L knew that it was more accurately due to Light's surprise. His almost eyes widened with amazement as they lay on his roommate. L, deciding not to embarrass Light on his first day of tours, continued his question so as to give Light some time to recover.

"The employees, clearly, are in and out of the aquarium after hours. Are they allowed to bring guests during these times?"

Light's heart was pounding even worse than the many times it had done this to him before. It was almost as bad as a jackhammer. He tried not to dwell on this amazing moment, he tried not to think about how incredible it was that L had not only left the apartment, went outside alone, crossed the park and entered the aquarium just to be in his first group, because if he thought about all that, he'd freeze in front of the crowd and he'd never live it down.

Then he registered L's question.

_Whoa! _His eyes bugged. Light knew exactly what that question really meant. L wanted to come here after hours.

Light's face started to burn. That meant the two of them would be here alone. Together. He told himself immediately that it was just so L could enjoy the aquarium without the uncomfortable crowds and the stupidity of the people around him. Nothing more. Surely, he hadn't meant anything else.

The crowd waited silently. Light quickly cleared his throat, struggling to recover. Recomposing himself, he addressed the crowd in the same steady voice he'd been using until that time.

"I'm afraid I'm still rather new to the aquarium. I cannot answer that particular question without first conversing with the boss." He smiled brightly. "Let's move on." Light started to walk down the tunnel, pointing out the swordfish swimming by to the right. He babbled about what the sword on its nose was actually for, as opposed to what people normally thought of it. But all the time he was talking, he was certainly not thinking about his work. Fish were the last thing on his racing mind.

L had come to see him. What about his work? Wasn't he supposed to start as a linguist today? Light felt suddenly foolish for having not asked him about it over the weekend. Light had no idea how L's job worked. Perhaps he wasn't on a set schedule, because he was working from home? This made sense. And it was an easy job for someone of L's intellect. Perhaps he thought he could simply do it when he got back.

So what made him decide to come to the aquarium today? He'd never really shown an interest in Light's job in the past. He defiantly didn't come for educational reasons, or research. He already knew, probably more than Light did about these creatures.

Then he had come solely to see Light in his newest element? Or maybe he'd been lonely when he woke up and found Light gone? There could have been several reasons.

As Light took the tour group down into the next hall, he glanced casually L's way. Considering he was surrounded by morons and was being told very trivial things, L seemed to actually be enjoying himself. He seemed as if he were off in his own world at times. No doubt using his massive genius to come up with his own deductions about the animals around him. He seemed carefree, lighter and more joyful.

Light immediately looked away. So he'd been right then. L was different after the events of last night. He seemed a bit more mended. A bit more settled. A bit more accepting. The heavy, oppressive air that usually followed him was nearly gone. He was even standing a little straighter than usual.

Light glanced to his feet. Sandals again.

Light tried not to hurry the tour. But he in truth was dying to talk to L and find out just exactly what was going on. But even the short break in the middle of the tour would not be enough time.

Soon enough, said break indeed did arrive. But Light had his hands full with questioning children and parents who were even more ignorant than their kids. He had no chance to talk to L who hung in the back away from the crowds, keeping a watchful eye on his tour guide.

The tour started back up and Light was forced to endure another hour of curiosity. He somehow kept all of his raging thoughts and feelings inside so that no one noticed that anything was wrong. He kept his first tour as professional as possible. But once he got to the last item on their tour, the Touch Tank, he started to get antsy.

The Touch Tank was more for the kids than anything else. All the adults who had not come with children had already dispersed, not interested in touching the stingrays that swam in the shallow water. L seemed bored as well and to Light's utter dismay, he walked off.


	15. Terrifying Truth

L felt quite clever. Not because he had actually done anything clever at all, but because of the way he was playing with Light. The young tour guide certainly deserved it after all the times he had played games with L. But this was for the better. Light would be done with the tour very soon and L had decided to wait for him. He would most certainly be heading to the break room afterward. L would wait there and surprise him a second time. L looked forward to seeing the expression that would be on his face.

The break room had not been hard to find. It was easy to deduce its location by following a flustered looking employee. Knowing he was probably not allowed inside, he posted himself just outside of the door.

L had contented himself to stay there for the remaining fifteen minutes or so and contemplate his newfound lightness when an employee walked over to him.

"Can I help you?" Blinking, L looked up to see a pretty girl with long brown hair and large blue eyes. Her nametag read "Lizzy."

"No need. I'm simply waiting for a friend," L replied. L smiled slightly. That sounded good. He had a friend to wait for.

"Oh? An employee? Who're you waiting for? Maybe I can help you find them." L observed Lizzy. She seemed friendly enough. She offered him a kind smile. Even if it did seem a bit forced. She was trying.

"I already know his whereabouts. I just thought I'd wait for him here while he finishes his tour."

"Hm?" Lizzy blinked, her smile remaining in place. "We have three men giving tours right now. Who specifically are you waiting on?" L saw no reason to distrust her.

"Light Yagami." Lizzy false smile turned into a real one. L watched with interest as delight played across her features. So Light got along well with his coworkers. L admitted to being a bit surprised.

"Ah, Light! He's a good guy! So are you his friend? Are you two having lunch?"

"I haven't considered lunch. But now that you mention it, it seems like a fine idea." Lizzy's smile remained.

"Why don't you come wait in the break room? You'll be more comfortable in there. Light should be done with his tour shortly." L nodded.

"That would be appreciated, thank you." Lizzy opened the employee's only door and stepped inside. L followed after her.

Once inside, L discovered that the room was rather large. Then again, he supposed it had to be. The aquarium was quite an expansive building, and no doubt it housed a great number of workers. This was un-argued by the amount of people in the break room. There were at least a dozen. If this many people were on break, it meant there was at least five times that amount working.

A few heads turned as they entered, but whether it was about L's odd appearance, or the fact that he wasn't an employee, he wasn't sure.

"Lizzy, who's this?" Asked one of the men at the nearest table.

"Oh, this is um…uh…I'm so sorry! I never asked your name!" The young woman blushed in embarrassment.

"No need for apologies," L said coolly. "It's Lawliet." Everyone in the room froze as if L had said something horribly shocking. Now every head was turned, every eye in the room fixated upon him. They bore down upon him like dozens of little weights. L squirmed internally, but showed no outward signs of discomfort. He was trained too well for that.

"…Is my name that unpleasant?" L's query seemed to thaw the man that had spoken earlier. He hesitated.

"No…it's not that you're name is unpleasant…it's just that it's a very odd name and we've already heard of someone with it." L's dark eyebrows rose in surprise. There was someone else in the world with his name? It seemed absurd. He had been sure that his name had been unique.

"Here in Atlanta?" L questioned.

"Well yes. You probably know her Lawliet. If you're a friend of Light's, then surely you know all about his girlfriend?" L froze much more thoroughly than any of the Georgia Aquarium workers had. In fact, the freeze had been so complete, that he was sure he had felt his heart stop entirely. He certainly wasn't breathing any longer, not to mention blinking.

At first, L was simply confused. Far too confused to put these very obvious pieces together to form an answer. It was just too abstract. The word "girlfriend" was still spinning around his system, making sure to stop and kick every place it went by, including his gut, kidneys and stomach. He felt suddenly ill.

L was certain Light didn't have a girlfriend. And if he had acquired one, why would he hide her from him? But more importantly, why did he have a girlfriend in the first place? L felt something very hot suddenly ignite inside of his frozen body. It was an odd and shocking feeling, but L could not deny the very fierce power of his sudden anger.

He did not want Light to have a girlfriend.

And oddly, he had not even imagined such a situation arising since they flew in from Japan.

Light's fellow workers stared in concern at their frozen guest.

"Um…Lawliet? Are you ok?" L inhaled, breathing in air for the first time since that horrible word had been mentioned.

"I apologize…I'm a bit confused."

"Join the club. We have no clue what's going on. Are _you_ the Lawliet he was talking about? The one he lives with?" L's heart started up again and it acted as if it wanted to make up for lost time by beating erratically fast. All the pieces were suddenly falling together, quite forcefully and against his will. The equation that was posed, the one that he had no desire of solving, and in fact had at times avoided, was coming together. As much as he did not want to, L realized he had absolutely no choice but to finish it.

"Rai…I…I mean Light…Light said…that he was dating a woman named Lawliet, and that they lived together?" The group of workers were looking worriedly from one to another. They realized just as much as L did, that something very wrong had taken place.

"Is Lawliet…you? You're the Lawliet he spoke about?" L was feeling rather tense. His chest was still tight and growing tighter still.

"It would seem so," he replied softly.

"But you're a man!" The outcry had come from one of the girls seated at the second table. Anxiety pounded L. His head was starting to hurt. Mostly because he was still preventing the answers from forming too clearly. He was afraid of them.

"Yes…I am indeed a man."

"But…but…but that means Light's…gay?" The people in the room turned to one another. Murmurings arose, the gossip started to fly. It wasn't that Light being gay was unaccepted by the group, they seemed more offended that he had lied to them.

L's heart and head were still pounding. Everything made perfect sense. Far too much sense in fact. Why did it fit together so well?

He flashed back to the day Light had come home and found him incapacitated on the floor, ill from sweets. He had suddenly and for no apparent reason, jumped up and ran out of the apartment in shock. Clearly, this had been the moment he had realized his true sexuality. But that meant that he had been harboring feelings for some time before that defining moment.

How long?

Clearly, Light himself did not know the answer to this, or he wouldn't have reacted so harshly. So then afterward…he had come back to the apartment. L clearly recalled that hug. That very warm, comforting hug. That had been the moment Light's entire demeanor had changed. L had noticed instantly. He hadn't questioned it. In fact…he had basked in it.

He knew why now. L knew very well why he had never looked into Light's odd behavior. Why L had never questioned, never researched any of it when normally it seemed like something he would dig right into. He hadn't questioned it…because he was afraid of the answers. And…because he had liked it. He'd enjoyed it. Every moment of the positive attention. Every second Light offered him a grin, a glance, a breath.

Fear pierced L as suddenly as a lightning bolt could have struck.

L had wanted these things.

But now he had to wonder to as why. He thought he'd already known the reason. He wanted affection because he was starved. He wanted attention because he had not received any as a child. He had not been privileged to it. So he wanted it all now, in excessive amounts to make up for it all.

At least…that was what he had thought. Was this not the case? Or maybe it was the case and there was simply more to it than that? Did he in fact harbor similar feelings for Light? Was there an ulterior motive to his longing to be closer than he himself had known? Or was this the only reason?

L did not know. It was frightening. It was sudden. His thoughts were sharp and harsh. There was no denying certain things. Some things had suddenly become cold hard fact. Like Light's actions. All of them pointed to only one conclusion.

Light harbored feelings for him. Feelings that meant more than friendship. Feelings of romance, feelings of lust even.

That last part was terrifying. L had never considered it. Not with anyone. His life had always been too busy, too crazed, too full of torment and thought to bring in anything like that. He'd wondered on occasion…yes…of course. But he'd never put a serious question into it.

And now there was a name to a question he had never posed. A name and a face that he knew well. Perhaps more than he knew himself. But that name and that face belonged to another man. L had never considered.

_How am I to know? How do I even know if I'm also gay?_ There was no answer for this part of the puzzle. He'd thought about women before. But had never taken it seriously. And what was worse…he'd never truly felt aroused. Then again…he'd never really ever recalled truly being aroused by anything at all in the first place. Again…his life had been too demanding for such things. He'd been too traumatized. He had more important things to think about, like survival. How he would remain safe while perusing the most violent criminals in the world. His nightmares had occupied his mind at night while other boys his age had been dreaming about girls. L had dreamt about blood and death.

But it wasn't so anymore. Despite his most recent nightmare, he'd been resting much easier. He'd had time to think. And he'd continue to have time to think about things. Because now…now there was time. Time and freedom. There was time to contemplate desires.

What did he want? What did he want from anyone, in anything? L had never thought about these things before until recently. And it had started slow. L knew that he had wanted Light to hold his hand. He had wanted to cook Light dinner. He had wanted to go out during the weekend and go with him to a new place. He had wanted to share new experiences with him.

They had seemed like simple, innocent things at the time. Things that had heavy meaning to one as socially deprived as L, but they had never seemed as important as they did now.

_Would I have liked to do these things with anybody? Or just Light?_ He questioned. He already knew the answer. Only Light would do. L would have never allowed anyone else close. Not in a thousand years. _But then why? Why Light? Am I attracted to Light in the way these people suggest? _L tried to comprehend an answer to this question.

He thought back once again to the hug they had shared in the kitchen. L could not deny the enjoyment he'd found in it. He had loved being close. He had indeed enjoyed feeling another human being's warmth. L recalled Light's scent. He'd been working hard that day. Fresh from the aquarium; there had been sweat and fish. L didn't mind. And in fact, had enjoyed it.

L recalled just how close they'd been. Light's arms had been strong. L had felt safe. He also remembered how strong Light was. How much thicker he was compared to L. He remembered being able to feel hardened muscles moving as he breathed, just beneath his aquarium shirt…

Startled, L shook his head frantically, his heart speeding as if shot with adrenaline. He was not ready for such thoughts. But they attacked, relentlessly and suddenly, giving him no choice but to hear them. L did not want to hear them.

Quickly, he tried to focus on this sudden problem in front of him. Something, anything other than the thoughts he'd just had.

Light had told his coworkers that L was a woman. Why? Because he was ashamed of him? Because he was trying to hide him? Or hide his feelings for him? Was it shameful? Or maybe he'd been trying to protect him?

No…surely not. If he had been trying to protect L, he wouldn't have said such a thing to his coworkers in the first place. What had Light said to these people anyway? Why had he felt a need to say anything at all? Was it because he was trying to figure out his new feelings? Was he seeking acceptance? Approval?

His heart still racing, L carefully faced the crowd before him. They were all staring at him, or chatting eagerly to one another, trying to figure it out themselves. L tried to work up the courage he needed. He tried to force away the embarrassment. He needed answers. And he needed them before Light came back from his tour. He didn't have much time.

"Wh…what….what did Raito-kun say about me? What was it that he spoke about?" There was a brief hesitation, then,

"Raito-kun? What is that? A pet name?" The question came from the same girl near the back.

"I…n…no! It's just…Japanese. Japanese for light." L found that his face was warm. Was he blushing? That realization was deeply embarrassing. He couldn't believe he was being forced to stand before such a large crowd and discuss such things. Things he'd never calculated in even his most complex thought processes. The girl in the back smiled.

"It's cute!" She certainly wasn't helping. L tried to ignore her.

"Please, I need to know what he said."

"Oh I get it! You're just finding all this out now! He said he hadn't told you yet." L's large black eyes widened to an even bigger size.

"He's been planning to tell me?"

"Oh yeah. He told us all about it. In fact, you look a lot like his description. Only, you know…you're not a girl. I guess he was embarrassed to tell us you were a guy." L's mouth felt dry. Very dry. Like he hadn't had a drink of water in ages. He licked his lips trying to get some saliva flowing.

"What else did he say?"

"Why? Are you trying to figure out how he feels about you? Cuz trust us, there's nothing to worry about in that department. He's crazy about you. We can tell by the way he comes in every morning. He's always just itching to rave about you." L's face was no longer warm, it was burning. So much so that it was almost painful. His embarrassment deepened. He felt a sudden urge to run out of the room, out of the aquarium, away from the entire city. Maybe all the way back to Japan, or England, or Russia. L understood perfectly at that moment why Light had run from the apartment that day.

But he knew he could not run. Things were actually much more serious than he feared. If Light had been talking about him nonstop to his coworkers everyday…then what exactly had he said?

There was much at stake. Not only was this the highest emotional stake L had ever claimed, but there was a dangerous quality to this as well. Had Light forgotten just who L was, or had been? Did he forget that he had once been the greatest detective in the entire world? Did he not realize that L was supposed to be dead? If anyone figured out the truth…L knew there was little he could do to stop the onslaught that would follow.

Not only would it be worldly news, but the entire truth would be revealed. If L was alive, Light Yagami was alive. If Light Yagami was alive, then he was Kira. Light would be taken, arrested, killed. And L would be killed beside him as the worst traitor the world had ever known.

But even if the news didn't get their hands on it…L was sure that at least one of his many many enemies would. L had seen demons in the hall the night before. But at least those demons were dead. There were plenty more men alive and kicking who would love to get their hands around his neck as Light had once done.

Light was not stupid. He must have realized this. So then why? Was this all some elaborate plot? Was it a plot to get him killed?

No…there was no denying the truth in what these people were saying. The pieces all fit. Light had feelings for him.

So then it had been out of sheer stupidity. Light had become so emotional that he had blabbed to anyone, just to get it out. Just to release himself from his burdening feelings and affections.

L tried to tell himself not to worry. He still wasn't sure what Light had said. He'd at least had a mind enough to tell them L was a girl. That offered a bit of protection. But the rest…what else had he said? How much had he given away?

This group of people already knew that both of them had been in Japan. They knew L's real name. But could they connect it to L the detective?

"Tell me everything. Everything and anything he's uttered to you." The group glanced at each other once more. They were hesitant. It was understandable. Light was their coworker and they seemed fond of him. They didn't want to betray his trust. The man sitting near the front spoke.

"I suppose you have the right. I mean…the cat is out of the bag. And it is all stuff about you…" They had some sense. That was good. L did indeed have a right. He stood rigidly, awaiting some answers.


	16. I Love You Lawliet

Light's tour ended. It finally, finally ended. He thought, for certain, that the last ten minutes would go on forever. It took all the will in every bone in his body not to bolt away from the Touch Tank and run after L before he disappeared. Somehow, he kept his cool.

But once L was gone, it was not easier to concentrate. In fact, it was much worse. His mind raced about the possibilities of where he had gone, why he would leave the tour. Why wouldn't he just wait the next few minutes and then talk to Light after he was done? Did he have something else to do? Maybe he had to go to the bathroom?

Light didn't know. All he did know was that once the tour was over, he bolted from the Touch Tank. Where he was bolting too, he wasn't entirely sure. Where would have L gone? He certainly wouldn't have left without saying goodbye, right?

Light wasn't entirely sure. L could be a puzzle at times. He tried to think like L. If he were L, what would he be doing?

Light decided, that if he were L, he'd find another coworker, and try to get information out of them.

Light stopped running abruptly. His blood ran suddenly frigidly cold. He hadn't thought about that when he first saw L in his group that morning. He'd been so happy that he'd come that he had not considered the very serious consequences of L's arrival at his work place. If he spoke to anyone…even for a few short minutes…the truth would be revealed.

"No! He can't find out that way!" Terror filled him, and Light ran to the one place he was sure many of his coworkers would gather: the break room. He wasted no time; he shoved the door open, rather violently. But when he stepped inside, he was faced with his worst and most absolute nightmare.

There L stood, directly in front of him, facing the crowd of aquarium workers. They had all been talking about something, but had shushed instantly when Light entered the room. Two dozen pairs of eyes turned and fixed onto him.

L's back was to him. Light could not see his face…but he didn't need too. L was trembling lightly and that was enough. Whether it was from rage or grief didn't matter. He had found out.

Light felt his insides turn to ice. The crowd was giving him dirty looks. Their eyes rested on him accusingly. In each pair he saw a word: liar, traitor, betrayer. They all screamed guilty. Silently they hounded him. But what was worst of all was the truth.

L knew it now. There was no doubt. There wasn't a doubt about anything. Terror filled him. How would L react?

Light knew he had to do something and fast. He might already be too late. But if he reacted now, he might be able to salvage some of the damage.

"Lawliet! I can explain!" Light reached out a hand and grabbed L's shoulder.

In a flash L had spun around. CRACK!

Pain exploded in the side of Light's face. The blow had struck so sharply and so true that he stumbled backward. The sting lingered, causing his face to burn. Light struggled to regain his footing, barely keeping himself standing. Once his balance was recovered, he lifted a hand to his aching cheek. It hurt like hell.

He lifted his almond eyes in shock. L had struck him. They'd hit each other before. But for some reason…this time…it was much different. It hurt much more.

But when Light lifted his gaze and looked at L, that sting became ten times worse. L was furious. He stood, his thin body ridged and trembling with rage. His cheeks were a bright red. His hair seemed to almost stand on end, making it impossibly bigger than before. The scowl on his lips was almost terrifying, but nothing compared to his eyes. Those black orbs were filled with fire and water. Tears dwelt there. They remained full, but did not fall. The fire kept them in place.

"You fool!" It was worse then another physical blow. The pain was everywhere. Light was in so much shock that he didn't even know how to react, how to move. He had never heard L's voice so low, so gruff. He'd never heard such venom in his usually soft tones.

L didn't even waste another breath on his struck roommate. He instead, turned to the door and began to march right by Light Yagami. He moved rigidly, looking quite deranged.

At first, Light was in too much distress to stop him. He rubbed his cheek lightly as he watched L go. But the moment the door shut, it was like something forced Light to bolt into action.

He didn't care about the spectacle he and L were creating. He didn't care what his coworkers would think or what kind of gossip would bloom from this show. All he knew was that he had to stop L.

"Lawliet! Wait!" He raced after him, throwing the door open and running after the storming form. L was heading for the exit, but he was not running as Light expected. He was instead placing each foot firmly on the ground. Every time a step landed; his sandals slapped the hard, smooth floor. Light caught up easily, despite the unnerving SLAP SLAP SLAP of L's furious feet.

"Lawliet! Please let me explain! I wanted too-!"

"Shut up Light Yagami! I'm not interested in anything you may have to say to me! Besides, we're in a public place! Anything I'd say to you would not be suitable for children!" But L was keeping his steady pace. And despite the sting of his words, Light followed what L wanted him to do at the moment. He wanted Light to follow him outside. If he didn't, he wouldn't keep such a steady pace. He would have run. So clearly, L wanted to say a thing or two.

This was almost as terrifying as anything else Light could imagine. L clearly had a lot to say. And according to his last statement, none of it was going to be good. Light's heart plummeted. He was going to reject him. He was going to tell him that he was sick for feeling such things for him. He would move away, he'd leave him!

Panic started to set in. Light tried to control himself. He'd never felt this way before. He'd never felt so panicked in all of his life. He was always cool, in control. He had the answers to everything. He was a genius. He could find a solution to any problem. He could rule anything in his life.

But not L. Light knew he would never rule over L. L was strong. L was smart. L was L. And L would always do whatever he wanted. He would never bend to Light's will. He'd never bow to his wants and desires. L wasn't like other people. Other people Light could control. But never L.

The two stepped outside and the people coming in parted for them. Light was sure that the red flames leaping from L's skin would have cleared a path in a heard of stampeding buffalo. The people saw his rage and cleared out of his way.

L did not stop once outside, he continued to the street where he started to cross. He headed for the park. Light knew immediately why. He was trying to find a place where he could scream his head off no doubt.

_I'm doomed! He's going to rip me apart!_ Light thought fearfully. But he had no choice but to follow. He had no plan, no genius way of getting himself out of this. He couldn't. He couldn't leave L. He had to stay, no matter what. He had to at least explain himself. He had to at least tell L why he had confided in his coworkers. He had to explain just exactly how much he truly loved him.

Light almost froze from the shock.

_I love him. _The words were amazingly powerful. He admitted it openly to himself now. And he knew that in a few minutes…he'd have to admit it out loud too. He'd have to tell L, to his face.

L stopped suddenly. Light almost walked into his back. He skidded to a halt.

They were in the park. No one was around. They stood just by a small creek, man-made of course. But it was enticing nonetheless. There were trees surrounding them, shielding them from view of anyone else who might come by. There was also a quaint bench seated underneath one of the trees near the water.

The atmosphere seemed lost on L. He kept his back to Light, his shoulders heaving from fury. It seemed he was at least trying to keep himself relatively under control. But Light was still terrified. He'd never seen L so close to losing it.

Suddenly, L whirled around, moving in sharply and closely, his face just as livid, if not more so then at the aquarium.

"I've never known you to be a fool Yagami-kun! But today you have proved to be the most senseless person I've ever dealt with in my entire existence! Are you insane? Do you have any idea what you've done?" Light blinked. It wasn't quite what he was expecting. In fact, L wasn't addressing his feelings for him at all. Was he? Was there a slant on these questions?

"L…Lawliet…I um…I'm sorry. I…I…"

"Must you bumble like the moron you've been pretending to be? Did you do it on purpose? I'd say you're trying to get me killed! But you seem too stupid to even realize this aspect of what you've done!" Light's amber eyes widened with shock.

"K…killed? Lawliet! Why would you say something like that! You _know_ I'm not like that anymore! I'd never-!"

"Well you sure are acting like it! You've put a price on my head with your little gossip! Who knows whom those people have spoken too! Who knows how far the word has gotten! We need to move! Immediately! At least several states away! Perhaps even another country!" Light's mind was bugging. It felt like it was doing flip-flops.

"Lawliet…what're you…what're you talking about?" L let out a frustrated growl so unlike himself that Light actually jumped, startled.

"Do I really need to explain it to you? Do you not understand? Even now? Has your brain faded away with Kira? Was _he_ the source of your intelligence? Do you mean to tell me, that Light Yagami is as dense as a sloth without his evil master?" That stung. It stung quite a bit. Light tried to calm himself. His fear was mixing with anger at this point from all the insults. There was only so much screaming and degradation he could take. Not to mention L was making him feel like a total moron. And that was never something he wanted to feel. Ever. His expression hardened.

"Hey! That's not fair Lawliet! It's not fair to bring up Kira! I'm sorry ok? I never meant to hurt you!"

"Don't lie to me! You did! You wanted to hurt me more than anything! You wanted it more than power, more then ruling the world! This is no time for lies!"

"But I've changed! You said it yourself! I'm Light Yagami now! Why bring up the past! It's over! I'm sorry! I'm really _really_ sorry L!" Light let out a scoff, but it was only to cover the pain of his rising guilt. It still hurt. It hurt to remember what he had done. L's accusations were as sharp as swords.

L shook his head quickly.

"I know you are Raito-kun…" L's tones had softened so quickly and so abruptly that Light had to do a double take. L turned away from him suddenly, facing the water instead of the source of his fury. "I'm sorry I brought it up…it was unfair and it has nothing to do with the problems that faces us now."

Light watched L carefully for a few seconds, feeling his thumping heart start to slow. His anger melted away and instead concern filled him. Underneath L's anger was an L that seemed scared and full of pain. He had come out of nowhere.

"Lawliet…you have to let me explain. I never meant to hurt you by talking with my coworkers. I…I guess you're in a lot of shock right now…but…I did it because I care about you. I know you're probably not ready to hear all of this…but I…I love you Lawliet. I…I think I have for some time. Much longer then I even realized. I…I spoke about it with my coworkers because…I've never felt something like this before. I…didn't know how to handle it, or what to do. And…everyone seemed so happy for me. I…wanted someone to talk to about you because…well…I just had so much to say. You captivate me…"

L squeezed his eyes shut. His body tensed. It tensed so quickly and completely that Light had seen it. He watched his muscles turn into concrete before his very eyes. He heard L's breathing pick up speed as if he were about to panic. But he didn't and instead maintained control.

Light's words filled L with much more then he could handle. For so long, his deepest desire was to be wanted, to be cared for. But he had never considered to what degree. He'd never really thought about love. Especially not with another man. His chest felt tight all over again. It was getting more difficult to breathe. There were other things that needed to be addressed. Life threatening things. But Light was so focused on him and his feelings, that he didn't even realize the importance of the other topics L was trying to discuss with him. That was how deep his feelings ran.

It terrified L. He didn't know if he wanted to be a desire. He didn't know if he wanted to be wanted in that way. It was too much. He simply could not handle it with all of the other fears coursing through him.

"Raito-kun…I am not upset about your feelings for me…but right now I'm afraid I cannot handle or understand them. We will need to address that at another time. I simply cannot do it now. It's far too sudden…"

Light wasn't sure how he felt about this answer. He wasn't being accepted or rejected then. L was putting the entire thing on hold. But why? _That wasn't the reason he was so mad?_ Light blinked. Then what else was there?

"Raito-kun…you're so fixated on your new found feelings, that you haven't even stopped to think about the consequences of your big mouth. Did you forget? Did you forget that I was formally a detective named L?" L turned slowly, facing Light once again. His black eyes held a similar harshness from earlier, but most of the furious flames were gone. Now it was just heavy with seriousness.

Light blinked only once before his face paled. L watched as Light bleached before him, his skin becoming gray.

"Yes…you seem to remember now," L said in much kinder tones then Light deserved. "…we're both supposed to be dead Raito-kun. You've offered the people in that building information about myself that was meant to be secret to everyone on this planet but you. I assumed I was able to trust you. Clearly my assumptions had been wrong. I was trusting your intelligence and your new found fondness of me to prevent you from doing something as foolish as this. I had not taken into account the fact that your heart might be powerful enough to overrule your brain. This was a folly on my part. I never should have trusted you with such personal details…"

"No! Lawliet! I…" But Light's objection faded as quickly as it had come. He wanted to defend himself more than anything. He wanted to make it so that L would continue to confide in him. Light had enjoyed L's secrets in the past week perhaps more than he'd ever enjoyed anything in his entire life. He didn't' want the connection to close. He didn't want L to board himself up again. He didn't want to see L withdraw within himself.

It would not only hurt Light…but he knew it would hurt L too. And Light never wanted to see L hurt. Even if it was by his own doing. He had finally started to heal. Light recognized this. If L closed himself off again…the pain would continue. Those dark things he had shared would torment him when he was all alone.

"Raito-kun cannot finish his sentence. It's because he knows I'm right." Light's heart pounded painfully. It ached in a terrible way. There was nothing good about this ache like there had been in the past.

"Lawliet…"

"Maybe you don't understand…" L interrupted. "There are hundreds of hardened murderers on this planet, in every country, who want me dead. Some of them want me to suffer worse then death. I cannot even repeat half of the lurid things they have threatened. I've toppled mafias, huge masses of organized crime. I've put a stop to warlords that have carried the tradition of violence back hundreds of years. I've changed cultures because of this. I have countless enemies, and very few allies Raito-kun. And I'm afraid…that I only have one friend." He lifted his black gaze, and Light for the first time, was able to see the ghost's that lurked there. The demons that had so terrified L the night before swam in his black orbs.

"I've been afraid almost everyday of my life. I was foolish to think I could escape the fear here. Just because I am dead to those in Japan…it doesn't mean others will be as convinced. Without having seen my body and gone to my funeral, there is no doubt that many think this is just another trick. They would be right. And if word got out about a thin, black haired ex-detective from Japan was currently residing in Atlanta…well…I doubt I'd last very long without the incredibly overbearing protection Watari usually had placed around me. I have no defenses anymore."

Light felt like a world-class idiot, a renowned moron. He was surely, the dumbest man alive. He was so eager to share the glory of all the new things he was discovering, that he'd forgotten all about L's safety. He'd put him in a crazy amount of danger. And that filled him with shame. It was the exact opposite of what he'd been trying to accomplish this past week. The feeling of shame was so heavy; he wondered how he was even remaining on his feet.

_I'm so stupid! _He squeezed his eyes shut. Never in his entire life, had he actually felt stupid. It was hard. It was overbearing. He felt rather helpless.

"Raito-kun…" L's utterance forced him to open his eyes. He dared to lift his gaze from the ground and gaze at the person he had wronged so many times. "…I'm glad you look so upset…it means…it was an accident, and that you're regretful." Light felt his heart give another leap. L was happy about his reaction? Well of course. It meant just as he said. It meant he was truly sorry. He didn't have to say anything. Still…he wanted too.

"Lawliet…"

"I'm not done yet," L interrupted a second time. Light shut his mouth and proceeded to wait patiently. He watched with growing worry as L's face shifted in front of him several times without him ever saying a word. Light could practically hear his racing mind. He could see the worry and the fear playing havoc on his expressions.

_He's got to be so confused…It's like I dropped a bomb on him…_ Finally after some time, L finally found the words he wanted to use. Light kept silent as he opened his mouth.

"The reason I am so upset with you Raito-kun, isn't just because you've endangered my life," Light blinked in astonishment. What the hell could be worse then that? "Of course, this is a huge contribution to my fury. Having my life threatened isn't something I quite enjoy. But the main reason I'm so livid with you right now is because…" L's voice choked off. Light held his breath. What was he trying to explain? L took another breath. Light felt a pang of sympathy; it was hard for him to express himself.

"I'm angry because you…betrayed me personally." L's eyes flickered away, breaking contact. He turned to the side, fixating his gaze on the grass that grew just next to the riverbed. "I haven't told anyone…the things I've disclosed to you. I didn't think I'd have to ask you to keep those things to yourself. But…" Light's heart twisted as if a corkscrew were being plunged deeply into the pit of it. That expression…that horrible expression L wore. It was torturous.

"…you told the entire aquarium. You told them…about my parents. You told them about how my father beat me…and about being locked in the crib. You…you told them about the orphanage…" L turned away entirely then. He faced the river and kept his back to Light. The pain in Light's chest intensified with the same intensity that it amplified in L's tones.

"You told them about my weaknesses, my oddities, my fears. You told them…everything. Everything I ever disclosed to you." Light knew he'd hurt him again. He'd hurt him badly.

_I always hurt him…I can't seem to stop. Why? Why do I hurt him? Why couldn't I have been smarter? _Light felt like a deep pressure was filling him up inside. It was true. He'd told his coworkers absolutely everything. He'd even told them about the dream L had just last night. He had told them about L's first case and how he had embraced the tattered man and allowed him to cry in his arms.

Light blushed deeply. He couldn't believe it. He could scarcely stand himself. Of course L hadn't wanted anyone to know. Light had known that. He'd told them anyway.

"I've been embarrassed before…I learned how to deal with it…growing up and having people stare at me. But I can't remember the last time I was humiliated so completely. You're coworkers…their eyes were filled with pity. They looked at me as if I…I were some…poor creature, a thing worth sorrow, the lowliest man on Earth." Light saw him starting to curl. And surely enough, L crouched down by the waters edge. He wrapped his arms around his knees and rested his chin on top of them. He looked out over the trickling liquid, but Light could not see the expression he wore. He wasn't sure he wanted too.

_How badly have I cut him this time? How many more scars does he need? _The pressure was too much. Light could not hold it any longer. In a desperate attempt at escape, the back of his eyes suddenly started to burn.

_No! Oh God no! I will not start crying! What the hell? I'm better than that!_ But it seemed the pressure didn't want to listen. His heart was sending waves of pain through his body. The guilt and the shame were too heavy to carry without release. But with L's back turned, the smaller man could not see the tears that suddenly trickled their way down Light's cheeks. He continued explaining himself, oblivious to Light's pain.

"I like it here Raito-kun…I like the memories we made. I've never had an attachment to a place before. I'm used to moving, being uprooted every few months. We have only been here for about one months time…but still I feel an attachment. After we left the water show the other night…you had called this place home. That word never had real meaning to me before. But I've started feeling something…a fondness. I admit that I do not want to leave Atlanta. I do not want to move again. I'm so tired of moving…tired of running…" L inhaled deeply, slowly closing his weary eyes. "I just want to rest. Here, in this place…with you…I thought…that maybe…this was a possible dream…but…it seems as if…"

L stopped speaking abruptly when he felt two warm arms wrap around his curled form. He let out a startled gasp. He then felt the warmth of Light's body press up against his back. Light held on tightly, keeping L locked in an embrace from behind. L was stiff from the sudden contact and he would not loosening as he usually did.

"Hey…it's ok," Light whispered. L felt the younger man's breath as he spoke. It rushed by his ear, warm and wet. A sudden chill ran through him, and his body stiffened much more completely. Light felt it underneath his grasp.

"Lawliet…" But Light wasn't sure what to say. What was there to say? L already knew how sorry he was. Saying it again would be pointless. All Light knew was that he wanted to hold him. He wanted to be close to him. He wanted to show him just how stupid he'd been, just how sorry he was now. He wanted L to know that he was in pain from his mistakes.

Light scooted in as close as he could. With L crouched near the riverbank, Light needed to crouch as well. And in order to press his chest into L's back, he needed to place one leg on each side of L's body. He did so without so much as a second thought. Light held onto the bony man tightly, desperate to feel his warmth, to feel him breathe. But he was disturbed by how ridged L was in comparison to how natural he had felt in his arms the night before.

"Lawliet…relax. It's ok. It's ok now. I was a moron. Really I was. I've never been so stupid in my life. I was wrapped up in the moment. And you're right, I wasn't thinking. Not at all. I guess I've stopped thinking of you as L. You're Lawliet now. I…I had forgotten that there are still things from our old lives that we need to worry about. But I want you to know that it'll never happen again. I can keep you safe." He felt L let off a small shudder from within his grasp. He did not ease.

"Y…you can't promise such a thing Raito-kun…"

"Maybe you're right…but how about this then? I'll keep you safe until my dying breath."

"No!" The objection came so suddenly, that Light was caught off guard. He blinked in surprise.

"No?"

"No! I don't want anyone dying for me! No one's to die in my name ever again! I'm tired of death! I'm tired of so many things…"

"Shh…I've gotchya. You're with me now?" Light's grip intensified. He leaned in, burying his nose in L's soft raven hair. He inhaled deeply, taking in the scent. He could feel every vertebra in L's spine against the muscles of his chest. And what was more was that he could feel L's body heat just against his thighs where Light held him.

L's stiffness seemed to grow to the strength of concrete. His entire body froze up like a brick. He let off another shudder and then started to squirm from within Light's suddenly tight, restraining hold. L's heart picked up pace and it was easy to feel when Light was so close.

"R…Raito-kun…let go. I don't want this right now…you…you're too close. We have other things to worry about." But Light did not want to let go. He wanted to stay with L for as long as possible. He liked feeling his warmth against his chest and legs. He liked feeling his small form from within his arms. He was enjoying the scent of shampoo and laundry detergent that lingered in his hair.

"…why not try to relax? You know I'd never hurt you."

"No I don't know that! You _have_ hurt me! You just did so today! Just now! I have no idea what to make of you. You're refusal to let me go immediately and at once is disturbing. Release me _now_ or I'm afraid I will have to harm you Yagami-kun!" Light blinked at the rising pitch in L's tones. He felt the smaller man's heart begin to beat almost frantically. It betrayed him and told Light that he was not just uncomfortable, but that he was scared.

"I won't be controlled! I'm not a tool! Exercise your power on someone else! I won't have it!" L started struggling earnestly at that point. He had just started to put up a real fight when Light released him and let him go. L tore away from him like a rabbit released from a snare trap. He got to his feet and ran a couple of meters away from his roommate before stopping. Breathing more quickly from his scare, he turned and gazed at Light with an expression that Light did not like.

"Lawliet…don't look at me like that. Don't look at me like I'm so sort of predator. I love you."

"Don't!" L demanded. Light gave off a small jump at the sudden shout. He looked to L questioningly. L seemed frazzled and far beyond stressed. "Raito-kun…I don't know what to make of all of this. I…I'm very overwhelmed. You…you need to do as I ask. I cannot handle your feelings now. I need to sort out what we're to do about moving and avoiding any potential threats. I need to work out a plan. Until that time, I'm afraid I cannot deal with your personal issues. So I will request that you do not grab me like that again. Do not make any advances, do not make any moves. Keep your distance. Let me sort things out. We will do things on my terms, or not at all. Do you understand?"

Light felt his heart plummet. He was being rejected then. L basically had just said that he wanted nothing to do with him. Light tried to calm his speeding heart.

_I just scared him. That's all. I moved too quickly. He needs time and space. Until then…I'll just do as he asked. _Light knew it would be insanely difficult now that he had confessed. Now that he had let everything out into the open, he just wanted to advance to the next stage. He wanted to move in closer. He wanted to be with L.

But L had every right to be angry and scared and tortured. Light knew as much. And he knew that…because he loved him…he would give him as much time as he wanted. Light knew better then to bring it up again. He wouldn't touch him. He wouldn't say anything that couldn't be taken as friendly conversation. Light would not risk scaring him again. He did not like seeing L so uncomfortable, so uncertain. He wanted to see him smile. And if that were too happen, then he'd have to let L call the shots.

Light nodded once after swallowing the lump that had suddenly formed in his throat.

"Yeah…ok Lawliet. You can have control." L stared. He understood just exactly how significant Light's words were. He had actually used the word "control." Power was everything to him. He was willingly giving it up.

L's speeding heart started to slow. Maybe he did care. Maybe it wasn't some warped plan to use him.

L started to relax, his muscles loosening. He felt much better after those four simple words. Light was going to let him steer. Light was going to stand back and do as he asked. He was going to keep his distance until L gave him word. There was nothing to fear. L wouldn't have to worry about this new problem until he wanted to; until he was ready. Light was right. Everything would be ok. It would be ok because…Light cared for him. Even if it was a different type of caring that he had originally wanted, it was still caring. And that meant more than the world. The rest could be dealt with at a different time.

For now, they had to worry about who had gotten wind of Light's little stories. Anyone who kept up with gossip and had half of a brain could have figured it out by now. They had to act fast. L faced Light, a serious look on his face.

"Let's get back to the apartment. We have a lot of planning to do."


	17. An Old Nemesis

**Author's Note**: Wow, an antagonist has been introduced to the story! Even I was not expecting it until recently. But it sure is starting to stir up trouble for our budding love birds! Things are getting sticky and super emotional really fast. It's almost hard to keep up with the two of them!

Also, please be warned, I will be bumping up the rating on Friend Or Flame to M for mature very shortly. This chapter is still T, but the one following will be M. I'll explain a little bit of why before the next chapter so that younger readers can evaluate weather they want to continue or not.

--------------

Light called in to work once they got back and explained that he had a personal emergency he had to take care of. His boss seemed very understanding and Light just knew from the man's tones that he had already heard from the other workers what had happened. Light frowned when he hung up the phone. God only knew what kind of rumors were flying around that place at this point. But Light knew it hardly mattered. If they were going to move, he'd be losing his job anyway.

For the first couple of hours back at the apartment, L didn't say anything. As such, Light said very little as well. L had gone straight to the computer and started working quite fitfully. Light had at first hovered around him, asking if he needed any help, asking what exactly he was doing. But L never gave him a straight answer. He shrugged Light off and even grew agitated with him after a short time. As such, Light hung back and decided to give him his space. Working helped clear L's mind. Perhaps it was something he needed to do in order to process all that had happened that day.

But of course, Light being Light, had to know at least what L was working on. A few glances at the computer screen told him that L was not working on any sort of linguistic job. He seemed to be looking up criminals.

Light frowned. Was he checking who was in their area? Was he worrying about which ones might have been able to get wind of their location?

Light fought the urge to take a seat at the second computer beside him. He wanted to help. But L clearly did not want the company. He hunched over his keyboard and struck the keys with a vicious frenzy. Light would have just gotten in his way. Especially since he wasn't sure exactly what L was thinking, or what plans he was forming. So Light was forced to stay back.

He knew he had to respect L's personal space anyway. He'd pushed him in the park. He'd unsettled him. Not to mention how much trouble his big mouth had put them in. L had every right to be furious. And if he needed some time to bury himself in some unknown work and rage, then Light figured he should let him have it.

Hours passed and Light ended up seated on the couch with a good paperback. Well…a decent paperback. He wasn't as impressed as he had hoped. It was one of the books L had picked up the day they'd gone to borders. But the book proved to be below standards. At least thus far. The writer had a chance to turn it all around in the second half. Still, it was a mediocre beginning.

Light had been halfway through the twelfth chapter when he heard the rapid fire of the keyboard suddenly stop. Light had already become accustomed to it being part of the regular background noise of the apartment, like the fridge humming or the air conditioner kicking on. When it stopped abruptly, it almost felt strange.

Light lifted his gaze up from his book and glanced over his left shoulder to the place where the dining room would have been if they had not turned it into an office. He could just see L's back from around the corner. He wasn't moving and instead sat very still, curled on top of his chair. The glowing screen in front of him gave his outline a subtle glow. It was almost a surreal image.

"Lawliet? Everything ok? Your rapid-fire fingers quit early." L did not answer right away. Instead he sat in silence. Light pondered this for a second. Was he done with his research already? It was possible, depending on what it was he had scheduled for himself. So then what was he doing now? Thinking? Perhaps he was formulating some sort of strategy. He wasn't answering because he was still pissed, most likely.

But Light could not ignore the possibility that something had upset him. He sighed; slightly annoyed that he had to put down his meagerly entertaining book. But for the most part he was worried. He rose from the couch and had taken one simple step forward.

"Stay where you are Raito-kun." Light froze halfway through his second step. L had not turned or even moved in order to address him. But his tones were unmistakably full of distress. Had he discovered something upsetting?

"Lawliet…what…"

"I need a bit of time. Let me think. Stay there." His instructions came out in the same way he typed: pinpoint and quick. He wasn't messing around. His stiff and short tones said as much. Light grit his teeth. He knew he had promised to do as L asked…but this was very difficult when there was a mystery at hand. He wanted to know exactly what was going on. He didn't want to be left in the dark. It was something that drove him particularly mad. Like a bad itch that he wasn't allowed to scratch.

But Light knew he had to obey. He'd made a promise. If he didn't uphold it, L would assume that his confession wasn't true. He would assume that his feelings for him were not as strong as he claimed. And if that happened…L would never trust him again. After all, Light had already betrayed him so many times. Light understood that he was skating on thin ice. L didn't know what to make of him. So Light knew he would need to show him that he was worth trusting again.

He backed off, taking a step backward. But he dared not tear his eyes off of L's back. The ex-detective sat stiffly, uncomfortably in his swivel chair. Even without seeing his face, Light could tell that he was thinkinghard about things. Which things he couldn't be sure. There were many things L could have been turning over, many things he could have been fretting about. Light hoped that at least one of them…was him.

"Raito-kun, if you would please, leave the room entirely." Light blinked. He wanted him to leave? Was his presence that disrupting? His brow furrowed. He couldn't help but to feel a little hurt. L answered him before he even asked a question.

"I can feel your eyes burning into my back. It's distracting." Light snorted and let out a small "hmph" of indignation.

"Fine. I'll be in my room." Light, quite annoyed by this turn of events, grabbed the book he'd been reading up off of the coffee table and then in a huff, went off toward his room. He tried to reason with himself. He told himself that L had every right to ask anything of him after what he'd done. But it was still hard to fight his nature. So, he closed his door a bit more loudly than he would have liked.

There he stayed.

In fact, Light ended up staying in his room for several more hours. After he finished his book, he started to get worried. He had assumed that L would have come to get him when he was allowed back out, or once L reached some sort of conclusion. Did he really need so much time?

Light got up off of his bed and started to pace. Was he leaving him hanging on purpose? Maybe it was some sort of plot to find out if Light truly cared for him or not. If that was the case…was Light supposed to come out and check on him? Or was he supposed to follow instructions and stay in here for all eternity? He wasn't sure and he didn't know.

_Maybe Kira _was_ the source of my intelligence. I sure feel stupid lately…_ Light sighed heavily, and then stopped at his window. He put his hands out, and leaned on the sill. He stared out at the park, but the peaceful scene wasn't helping. He stood back up and started pacing all over again.

L had been out in the living room all afternoon. What was he doing? The sun was starting to set.

Light contemplated going back out. But he'd promised to do as L told him. If he broke that promise, would L take it to mean his words were empty? Was L even thinking about that at all? Was he even contemplating his feelings for him? Or was he focusing on the information leak. The speculation was driving him crazy!

Light glanced at the clock. It had been four hours. He had to check on L. Even if he broke his promise, he was too worried not to at least step out and see what he was doing. If L asked him to go back inside, he would.

Having made up his mind, he went to the bedroom door. He grabbed the handle, twisted it and in his usual brisk way, flung open the door. The door swung inward, and as it did, a small, skinny, ex-detective fell in with it. L half tumbled, half rolled his way onto Light's feet.

Light blinked down in shock while L blinked up at him wearing the same expression. Both stared at one another. Light felt his face tense with agitation.

"Wh…what the hell are you doing on the floor!" It was clear from the position that L fell in from that L had curled himself up outside the door and had been leaning on it when it was opened, resulting in the tumbling fall.

L put his hands out and pushed himself up from the place he'd fallen. He arose into his usual awkward stance as he brushed himself off.

"I hadn't heard you coming and so was not expecting the door to open," was his reply. Light's eyes narrowed with annoyance.

"Just the kind of answer I'd expect out of you. I meant what were you doing curled up outside my door? And you _know_ that's what I meant." L did not answer. He instead kept his black gaze fixated on Light. It seemed to take Light off guard and he fidgeted.

"Wh…what is it?" L again did not answer immediately. He did, however, shift his eyes away from his squirming roommate. Instead he looked toward the window.

"I wanted to be close to you…but after today's events…I was not sure if it was what I truly wanted. So I stayed by your door instead." Light's eyebrows shot up in surprise. So L _had_ been thinking about it.

_He wanted to be close? _This shouldn't have been a surprise. L had expressed a fondness to their relationship for the past few days. Light was sure he was not mistaken in this area. In fact, with L's one simple sentence, he was sure he understood.

L was worried about the things they'd discussed and the things he'd discovered on the computer, which still remained a mystery. After getting some time alone to think about said things, he came up with some sort of conclusion. After the conclusion was drawn, he had come to Light's door with the intent of coming inside and explaining things, or…with the intent of being closer to him. But because of today's events, L felt awkward and strange. Doubting himself and his feelings, he had lost his nerve to enter and instead placed himself outside Light's door where he remained for…God knew how long. Light's annoyance faded. He lifted his hand to place it on L's shoulder, but stopped himself. He slowly lowered it once more. He didn't know if that was acceptable to L or not.

"Lawliet…you wanna tell me what's going on?" L hesitated only briefly this time before turning to face Light again.

"I don't want to move." Light blinked. That was the last thing he'd been expecting to hear. "I don't want to move Raito-kun. As I expressed earlier, I've grown attached to this place in the very short time we've been here. There are many good memories. And I have so few. I don't want to leave them behind." Light struggled to come up with an answer, some advice that might help. But he was aware that he didn't have the entire story. L spoke as if they _had_ to move, as if it were no option. That meant that there was more to his reasoning than just not wanting too.

"I've enjoyed my stay here. And I've grown by a substantial amount. I've done things here, in this place that I never thought I'd be able to do. I accomplished things in a few short weeks that I thought wouldn't be possible in my entire lifetime. I've almost completely gotten over my sugar cravings. I felt happy and content for long periods of time. I…I've had fun…" L looked around Light's room as if it were a palace, the best and most exquisite place to live on all of the earth. He gazed at every piece of furniture, looked at every corner.

"This place…is full of happiness. I don't want to lose it. I don't want to run. I don't want to hide anymore. I want to stay. I want to continue building…whatever it is that we're building together. I…don't know very much about what it is that's happening to me, or what's happening to you. But I can recognize that it's good. I recognize that it's been changing me for the better. It's been…fixing the damaged things inside of me." L tore his gaze away from the walls and fixated them onto Light with an intensity that Light could very much feel.

"I don't want to lose that Raito-kun. Not for anything. I don't know if I could go back to the way things were and survive." L shook his head and waved Light off with a pale hand before Light even had a chance to open his mouth.

"I know…it's a ludicrous assertion. I know quite well that I wouldn't die if things returned to the way they were. But I do not care. I feel things now. And there is no logic in them." He smiled suddenly and let out a small chopped type of laugh. "I don't even care about the lack of logic to it all!" Clearly, this brought him much joy. "I want to stay here, with you."

Light felt his face grow suddenly warm. It was flattering. And the entire thing was more than amazing. L seemed happy, despite all that had happened today. He seemed happy, despite their fight, despite Light's betrayal of his trust. Light was aware that he had spilt L's secrets. He had smeared them all over the aquarium and possibly even further than that. He had endangered L's very life. Still, L stood there and expressed a desire to stay, to remain at his side.

The warmth in Light's face became hot. His cheeks burned and he knew he was blushing. But that didn't matter anymore, did it? L already knew the truth. Light didn't want to hide it anymore. Not now that he confessed. So he didn't. He decided to let his face burn. He took in this new view of L, this look of him smiling, with the red light from the setting sun playing across his features. He was somehow, radiant. Light soaked up the sight. But as wonderful as it was, Light knew there were still things they had to address. Important things that L had been neglecting to mention on purpose.

"Lawliet…you know that means a lot to me, but…despite all of your talk of love for this place, you still sound like we have to move. Why not stay here? What are the chances of someone discovering the truth?" L's smile dwindled away and then died all together. Light was very sad to watch it slip from his face. The radiance was gone as quickly as it had come. L's usual gloom surrounded him.

"…I'm afraid there is an eleven percent chance that we have not only been discovered…but have been discovered by someone very dangerous…someone very wicked…"

"What? For real? Wha…who?" L's black eyes flickered to the side and away from Light's face. In that instant, Light knew that L was thinking of a specific person, a person that he was familiar with. Light's brows furrowed together. He did not like the expression L was suddenly wearing. He did not like the look that had moved into L's eyes. L hesitated briefly, licking his lips. Then he answered slowly.

"His name is Webber," he said. "I'm afraid he knows quite a bit about me…" L sighed heavily, his shoulders seeming suddenly much heavier than before. His hunch deepened, his face suddenly appeared weary. It was like L was aging right in front of Light's eyes.

"He was released from jail eight months ago and has been traveling since. My research uncovered that he was in Japan for the time I was working on the Kira case. Now he has moved to America. I could not pinpoint his exact location, or how he got by security in order to travel between countries, but sources say he's in the southeast. Clearly he's been trying to find me. And as large and as vague as the southeast is, I'm afraid it is too small. It brings him much too close for comfort. We cannot stay…no matter how much I long to."

L's disappointed and crestfallen tones tore at Light's heart. But what tore at him the most was the way L spoke about this Webber person. It didn't take a genius like Light to figure out that there was a bad history there. Something had happened concerning this Webber man. Was he a suspect from an old case?

"Lawliet, who's Webber? How is it that he knows about you? Does he know you're real name?" L's face aged even further. His skin seemed to lose the very slight color it had gained in the past few days. He shrank from the sudden weight he seemed to now be holding.

"Can I afford to tell you more secrets Light Yagami?" Light's face twisted so that it matched the anguish that was in his heart. He hated those tones L used. But he hated that weary face he wore more. Light nodded.

"Please…I'm very sorry about today Lawliet. You know I'll never tell a soul anything you trust me with again. You know it's true. I was stupid. I'm sorry. Please tell me. Tell me what we're running from. Tell me why this man makes you look so tired." L glanced Light's way, his black eyes deep and burrowing.

"Tell Raito-kun about Webber…" He mumbled it more to himself than to Light. He glanced away from his roommate and up to the ceiling as he thought about it. But his expression seemed to crumple, as the black rings around his eyes seemed to get thicker. He shook his head, his skin now as white as snow.

"No…I…I'm afraid I can't. Not just yet…" Light studied him. He wasn't liking this. Not at all. Did L suddenly look ill? His face appeared sunken. L closed his eyes in a manner that suggested he was struggling to contain an onslaught of feelings. But his efforts seemed to fail and very quickly. When he opened his eyes again, L turned to face Light. This time his face was full of what Light could only describe as desperation.

"We have to move." Light noted that the resolve L had at the beginning of the conversation was deteriorating rapidly now that Webber was brought up. L's composure was shattering and his health seemed to be disappearing by the very second.

"We have to move _now_!" His black eyes were growing larger, his body motions more frantic. "We should forget a mover. We should leave all of our things. A mover would keep records of both our old and new addresses. We can't have that on file anywhere. There must be no connections. We should just get on a plane. Tonight. Right now! We'll fly north. I hear it's nice near Niagara Falls this time of year."

Light didn't care about his promise then. Not at that moment. L was becoming terrified. He saw it in his growing eyes as they shifted fitfully in his skull. Whoever this man was, whoever Webber was…Light knew that he had somehow hurt L in the past. And he had to have hurt him very badly to get him to react in such a way. He had to have been worse than the nightmares L suffered. He had to have been worse than L's first case, than his training. He had to have been worse than his parents and worse than the orphanages. Because L had told Light about all of those things. If L would not tell him about Webber, then Webber was somehow…more horrible than all the rest of L's secrets.

L was trying to maintain control. Light saw it. He was rationalizing their move. He was going through a plan. He was already calculating how they would move and what they would do with their things. He wasn't worried about money in the slightest. He should have been at least a little. Because if they didn't take their belongings and they didn't sell them, then they had less than two thousand dollars left. That wasn't even enough for a new apartment. Not with deposit fees, the first months rent, bills and food. They'd be homeless. L must have realized this. And still he wanted to fly out on a plane tonight? Right now?

Something was terribly wrong. L could not hide it.

So Light reached out. He took a hold of L's arms. He turned him around so that he faced him. Then he brought him in close to his chest, hugging him tightly. Holding L in his arms was becoming his most favorite pastime. He simply loved comforting the smaller man. He enjoyed the way he fit into his arms.

"Eleven percent isn't very good odds Lawliet," he said softly. "There's very little chance that he knows where you are. At least not from my blabbing the past few days. So please, try to calm down. He can't hurt you."

L's breath came quickly from his panic and Light could feel his heart racing. It made him sick. He was sick of finding L terrified of one thing or another. Why did he have to be so scared? Why were there so many things in the world that wanted to hurt him? How could Light just make him happy?

"You don't know Webber Raito-kun…he…he'll come for me. He promised…"

"Promises are often broken. Besides, he doesn't know where we are. Ok? He's not coming. And if he did come, I would protect you."

"You keep saying that! I'm not another one of your girlfriends! I'm a capable fighter! I've beaten the snot out of you before! What makes you think you're any more proficient of defending me than I can defend myself?" But L was shouting these words into Light's shoulder. His head was bowed and he had buried his nose into Light's neck. It didn't give him a good case. Light continued to hold him anyway.

"Look…you should tell me about Webber and what he did. Especially since I'm kind of involved in this. If this man's going to uproot our new life then I at least have a right to know why." L gasped in air like a fish out of water. Light felt him tense. He was starting to panic again. "H…hey. I didn't mean right now. Why don't you get these newfound fangled feelings of yours under control first. Then we can deal with it, ok? Let's relax. You want some ice-cream?"

"I'm not five Yagami-kun!"

"Ok, no ice-cream. Wanna at least sit down? Let's move to the couch." L didn't argue. He also didn't let go of Light when he started to move. He instead clung much more tightly to Light's shirt as if it were some sort of lifeline. So as a whole, they made their way into the living room. Light steered his love interest to the couch and then sat down with him. There he stayed. He didn't move and he didn't speak for several moments. The quiet seemed to be helping and he felt L's heart rate start to slow. That was better.

But L was not done with the surprises he kept unleashing. He suddenly moved in closer, pressing his body into Light's side. He then curled up and snuggled into Light, much like a cat.

Light swallowed, and then dared to breathe. This was an interesting development. Just a few hours earlier at the park, L expressed a desire for Light to keep his distance. Now…well now he was very much asking for attention. L didn't seem to care that he was being hypocritical. He didn't seem to care if he was making Light uncomfortable or not. He buried his face in Light's chest, and then grabbed fistfuls of his shirt into his hands. There he stayed, curled and pressed into his roommate.

Light felt his face grow hot all over again. But he knew very well that now was not the time for him to allow his urges to run him. The only reason L would willingly bring himself this close was because he needed the support. He needed to know someone was there. He needed to know he was with someone who cared. That was why he was curled tightly at his side. As he said only moments ago…he wanted to be close. He just wanted the contact. Light knew he did not want more. Not now.

"Lawliet…who's Webber?" Light prompted. Light felt L stiffen like a brick. His breathing hitched. L wasn't trying to hide how scared the man made him anymore. He was letting Light know just how afraid he was of this person.

"I cannot tell you yet. Raito-kun…" he swallowed harshly. "…just sit with me. Stay a little while…" It was disguised as an order. But Light recognized the very large difference in the way L spoke to him now from how he used to back in Japan. Light enjoyed the difference very much.

"Sure Lawliet, I'll stay." Light hesitated, and then dared to make a small move. He lifted his arm and wrapped it gently around L's boney shoulders. L didn't object. He didn't flinch or pull away. In fact, if Light wasn't imagining it out of desperation to be closer, L seemed to relax a little more. Light dared to think that L even seemed comfortable. It was certainly possible. They'd grow very close the past few days. Light had held him in similar ways to this on many occasions prior. It wasn't new. But it still felt like an entirely fresh situation. Perhaps L had adjusted to Light's presence. Maybe…he even craved it.

L inhaled deeply then and Light felt his small ribcage expand. Then slowly he exhaled. Light easily felt his muscles loosen. So it wasn't his imagination. L was indeed relaxing. He was starting to feel better and get a handle on his fears and feelings. All without sugar. All he'd wanted…was Light.

Success.

Light couldn't help but to do a small victory celebration inside if his mind. Things were turning out splendidly. He was certain that L felt something too, whether he realized it yet or not. There was something there. There had to be. A straight man wouldn't willingly curl up with another man after that second man had confessed to having feelings for the first. Right? There was no possible way. Light felt certain he was right.

_He loves me too! I just know it! You can't run from it for long you little bastard!_ Light found himself grinning. But he felt quite stupid once he realized this. L seemed too peaceful and relaxed for any stupid grins Light might have worn to matter. He tried to shake it off. There were more important things to discuss and now that L was calm and the anxiety of the situation had faded, Light very easily formulated a plan that might make it better.

"Hey Lawliet, if we need to move, let's do it right. Let's take the time to sell our furniture and get some money back. Let's find a new place, or at least snoop around on the internet before we fly off to some random part of the country. With some money and some idea of where we're going or what we're doing, we should be able to set up a new shop just fine. We'll have to stick around in Atlanta for a few days, maybe a week, but what're the chances that this Webber is actually in the area? It's very unlikely that he's in the city and even more unlikely that he picked up word about you on the street or in the aquarium. Granted the aquarium _is_ one of the biggest tourist traps here, but this Webber guy doesn't seem like he's too much into fish to me."

L let off a small chuckle. Light enjoyed the small jostle he got from L being curled so closely. He enjoyed the small curve that found its way to L's lips even more.

"I suppose you're right Raito-kun. Webber certainly would never care about aquatic life."

"There. You see? Not so bad now is it?" L sighed; slightly agitated by the way Light seemed to be talking down to him as if he were a child. But…he did feel better, and it wasn't worth an argument. Besides…he was enjoying the warmth of his body heat. L didn't want to move.

"I suppose we could take the risk. The chances of him finding us in the next seven days are only two percent considering we're unsure of his exact location or what knowledge he has of my whereabouts. It would be wise to sell the furniture. We'll need money if we're to settle into a new place properly." L sighed heavily for more than the third time that hour. "I certainly will miss this place though…"

"Hey, that's not as big of a deal as you're making it. I get that it's the first place you've really been happy. I understand how important that is to you, but you realize it's not really your surroundings that made you happy."

"Yes…"

"It wasn't the park or the aquarium or even the apartment. That was just the environment. It was the things we did that made you happy. Aren't I right?" L had unclenched his fists some time ago, releasing his death grip on Light's shirt. Now he just lay loosely against his side.

"Yes. You're quite right Raito-kun. I recognize these facts. The thing that had made me so happy these past few weeks…is coming with me when we move. And because of this, there will be new memories that are equally as joyful as the ones I have here."

Light felt that heat again. He glanced away from L quickly, not because he was trying to hide his red face, but because he wanted to get a handle on it. He needed to suppress the part of him that wanted more than it was getting at the moment. And in order to do that, he certainly couldn't afford to look at L directly. Not when he was lying so comfortably underneath his arm.

L glanced at Light's embarrassed face from his place on his shoulder. He dared to indulge in a bit of wonderment. Everything Light said was true. L understood it well. It wasn't Atlanta that had brought him so much enjoyment the past few weeks. It was Light. Light had done it all. He'd given him the attention he had so craved. He had taken it upon himself to help him tackle his sugar cravings. He'd even made him meals to help him start off with. He'd taken care of him when he had been hurt and he had held him when he was afraid. He showed him how to have fun, how to live a life outside of his old torturous routine. Light had done all of that.

L felt his heart give a sudden lurch inside of his chest. _What was that?_ He wondered. It was the first time he recalled such a strange sensation occurring inside of his ribcage. Was his heart beating with more vigor now? He was sure it was, because he felt warm. There was a strange fluttering accompanying it. L hoped he wasn't coming down with a cold. It would be awful timing. Moving would be miserable if he were sick.


	18. Webber

**Author's Note:** Ok everyone; this is it, the big rating change. This fan fiction is now rate M for mature readers only. The themes that will be covered in the next several chapters, possibly even up until the end of the story are going to contain heavy and rather dark ideas. I do not know to the extent of which these ideas will grow, all I know for now is that this is what seems to need to happen within the story.

This upcoming chapter is _not_ graphic. It simply introduces the readers to the themes we will be dealing with from this point onward. This chapter may even be suitable for T readers, but I want to change the rating now because once we pass this point there is no turning back. The point of no return if you will.

To make things perfectly clear for the younger viewers who are on the fence, this chapter will be covering adult themes of a sexual nature. As stated previously there is nothing graphic in this particular chapter. But the ideas are going to arise. There will also be an increase in language, considering Light is going to become very upset. He doesn't exactly check his tongue at the door.

Anyway, that's my disclaimer. Read on yee who feels brave enough to venture such dark waters. But if you are of a young age, I suggest you contemplate this a bit more seriously. I don't want to be responsible for shocking anyone, or giving anyone nightmares. Because I love you all!

Spotofpaint

----------------------

Several days had passed. Light had already called his job and explained that he would be quitting. He collected the very small amount of money that he had earned after the few days he spent working there. He put it into their account.

L had been working on selling the furniture, but this was more difficult then one would think. They sold a few pieces on E-bay, but a lot of buyers didn't want to pay for the shipping since it was such a steep fee. All in all, they were reduced to allowing people into the apartment to come look at the pieces in person.

Light tried to be home for most of those cases. He noticed, even though L never said anything, that having people in what was supposed to be his haven, was nerve wracking for him. He didn't like the change and it made him nervous and uptight.

After a bit of research, they'd found a relatively nice place upstate New York. It was in a much smaller town then either of them was used too. Both men had grown up in large cities. L had spent most of his life in the hotels of many different cities all over the world. A smaller, more natural place was a big change. But for some reason…it seemed right.

The pictures they saw online of the area were peaceful and inviting. There were tall, full, green trees, full of life and promise. There were winding roads and small shops. It wasn't exactly in the middle of nowhere. It seemed to be a decent size. Any shops or necessities they would need would be there, but it was certainly much smaller then either of them was used too.

But it was quiet. It sounded restful. Light couldn't have possibly wanted anything else once he saw L's weary face focus on the images on the computer screen. The images of quaint houses and rolling farm fields played across his dark eyes. Yes. Restful. That was just what L needed. Light recalled how L had expressed to him several times the past few weeks about how tired he felt. And it wasn't hard to see. Life itself seemed to make him weary. He needed a place to unwind. A place where he could relax. And Light supposed…he could have used a bit of rest too.

They hadn't contacted anyone in the upstate town. They didn't want anyone knowing where they were moving or when. They decided they'd just pop in and surprise the sleepy little town with their presence. It was the safest way not to be followed. So they kept everything to themselves, not bothering to put in the usual sixty day notice to the apartment building. The building would just have to deal with tenants who simply disappeared.

Near the end of the week, the only things left in their apartment were the couch, their beds and the computer equipment. Even the TV was gone. But that wasn't a problem. Neither had taken much of a liking to it. They'd gotten cash for each item and now were much more prepared for a move than they had been before.

Almost out of food, both had headed to the grocery store. They only needed enough for a few more days. Then they would be leaving. But until then, they needed sustenance.

Light held the basket as they made their way down one of the many isles. They'd only be buying for dinner that night. They weren't sure when the couch would sell, but once it did; they'd be leaving almost immediately. They didn't want to buy more than was necessary. L fixed his dark eyes onto Light as they moved.

"What about that chicken dish you were talking about a few weeks ago?" Blinking, Light looked over to him.

"What?"

"A few weeks ago, we were in this store. You had mentioned a chicken dish that you claimed was too sweet. One your mother used to make. Could we try that tonight?" Light gaped. Was L actually offering to eat meat?

Light looked his roommate over. L had ever so slowly started to appear healthier over the course of the past few days. He'd been sleeping more over the course of time they'd been in America. And the past week, just after Light's confession, he'd actually been making it through most of his nights entirely without waking. The deep circles around his eyes were still there…but they were a lighter shade then they had been.

L had also been eating much better. Again, in the past week, he'd made a drastic improvement. He'd truly and earnestly been trying to eat real meals. He was hardly ever able to finish them, but Light had managed to get things into him like fruit, bread and even some rice. All sweetened of course, but it was food nonetheless. Light swore he might have gained weight. Maybe half a pound. Light frowned. He was probably imagining it. He chalked it up to wishful thinking.

But one thing Light couldn't get him to eat was protein. No meats whatsoever. But now…now he was offering to try some on his own. There was no way Light would be fighting this. He wasn't even going to make a big deal out of it. He knew better then to even act too surprised since this would risk L turning away from the idea. Instead, he simply smiled.

"Sure thing! I think I remember the recipe. It requires brown sugar. Lots of it." Light watched, delighted, as L's eyes lit up. "Why don't you run and get some. I'll grab the chicken and meet you at the checkout." L nodded once, then turned and hurried down the isle. His sandals clapped on the linoleum as he ran excitingly away and out of sight. Light chuckled to himself as he watched L's puff of black hair disappear. He was somehow growing more endearing everyday.

"Cute." He mumbled to himself. After grabbing the chicken, he turned and headed toward the front of the store with his basket of food. Inside of it, he was very pleased to see, were vegetables, fruits, grains and eggs. There were only two sugar products: some Twinkies and a Hershey bar. Light's grin remained. Even though L still had not given him an answer to as how he felt about him, Light decided it didn't matter. L was happy. So Light would be patient. Maybe he'd remind him again once they moved. But for now, L could take as much time as he wanted.

Light turned down one of the many isles to head back up front when a hand came down and grabbed his shoulder. He jumped, startled from the sudden contact, then whirled around. Blinking, he found himself face to face with a complete stranger. The man was tall and rather large. He was well built, indicating that he worked out, or trained. He seemed to be in his mid thirties and had thinning brown hair. His face was chiseled and his eyes were small.

"Hey," he said. Then he smiled. "Didn't mean to startle you!" Light blinked. There was something familiar about the type of grin the man wore on his face. It seemed bright and friendly, even inviting. But there was something just a hair off about it. Light was certain he'd seen a grin like that before.

"…hey yourself," Light responded in agitation. _What the hell? People don't just grab a perfect stranger's shoulder_. "What do you want?"

"What do I want? Nothing much. I was just wondering what a fag looked like." Light wasn't quite sure he'd heard the man right. Surely he had misheard. He must have said something else. His facial expression certainly didn't match the thing that had just come from his mouth. The grin was still in place.

"…I'm sorry…what?"

"You heard me. Or maybe it's just that your English isn't all that good yet. Do you know what a fag is Japanese boy?" There was certainly no mistaking it that time. Light's almond eyes widened with shock as if someone had thrown ice water in his face.

_How does he know?_ He questioned. _Clearly I'm Japanese, but how could he know I'm gay? Did he hear it at the aquarium? _

"Oh, don't look so stunned. If you live in a city, it's not hard to pick up on, especially if you're looking for that type of information." The man's grin grew even wider. It was then that Light remembered where he'd seen that grin before. That was Kira's grin. Or at least, it was one very similar to Kira's. The type of grin that could fool others into thinking there was no venom behind those white teeth until it was too late. This man wore it just a little differently. Light had worn it to fool others into thinking he was innocent, while internally celebrating their doom. But this man…this man wore it in the open, announcing his delight in others misery as those same lips spoke words of poison. Light was so stunned at first that he didn't respond. Why would a stranger even do something like this?

"Cat got yer tongue? That's fine for now. But I'll want an answer for my next one." The man's noxious grin grew even wider, causing double lines to crease his cheeks. He leaned in close, as if he were about to whisper a secret to the stunned teenager, letting the smell of stale smoke and bad breath wash over him. "How does little L taste these days?"

Light's already wide eyes became suddenly huge with horror. He understood the implications of such a question immediately. And it filled him with a sudden revulsion such as he had never felt before.

Light jerked backward and away from the man in sudden repulse. He let out a gasp as he realized that this man was Webber. And he had just told Light something that Light did not ever want to believe, something he couldn't possibly absorb.

CRASH!

Both Webber and Light jumped, startled as something went crashing to the floor just at the end of the isle. Both looked up to see L standing in a state of shock. He seemed to have grabbed his own basket while fetching the sugar, because now that basket was over turned on the floor, its contents spilt across the linoleum. A can of whipped cream continued to roll slowly across the tiles even after all of its friends stood still. Its slow whirring sound was the only thing that filled the sudden silence.

Webber's cruel grin only grew at the sight of his newest target standing with his mouth agape, his eyes wide with alarm.

"Eh? He's not so little anymore, is he? Look how he's grown!" Light's eyes narrowed in a sudden and venomous way. He did not like it. He did not like Webber looking at L in that particular way. He did not like the sadistic tones he used to describe L. A trembling in his gut began to rise. The next thing he noticed was that it spread out through his body and down his limbs until it reached his hands. As if by magic, they curled into tight fists; his knuckles became white from the pressure. His face contorted so sharply, that the muscles in his skin hurt. The pain did nothing to stop the rage that was boiling up inside of him.

L's wide, dark eyes shifted away from Webber and to Light who looked like he was about to commit murder, something that both of them knew he was capable of. L cried out in desperation.

"Don't! Stand still!" But there was little stopping this sudden swell, this sudden title wave of red fire. Light felt a need to attack. He felt a need to punish this man. He felt that Webber had to pay.

"Don't!" L shouted again. Light dared to hold himself back. He understood that attacking Webber in a public place like a supermarket was not a good idea. It would cause a disturbance. Someone would most likely call the police if he got himself into a fist fight with this man. And if the police were called, both he and Webber would be thrown in jail. And if Light was in jail…they could discover who he was. They'd realize that Light Yagami was not truly dead. And if Light wasn't dead…then neither was L. Their fates were connected. If Light got himself put into the hands of the authorities, then that would be the death of both of them. Light could risk his own life, especially if it meant slugging this man in the face. But he could not risk L's.

Still, his fury was much too powerful to hold back. In retaliation, he let his tongue fly.

"You fucking bastard!" Webber brought a look of clearly false shock to his face. He was overdramatic and extremely mocking. It pissed Light off even more.

"Ooo! Watch out L! Looks like I've upset your boyfriend!" L blushed lightly at the term "boyfriend," but he dared not show it. The initial shock of seeing Webber seemed to have worn off. As such, he was able to get a handle on himself. He called fourth his courage and the usual steel he used to rely on before he met Light. He turned and faced Webber with a much harsher, much more dangerous expression. He looked almost as venomous as Light did. He took a daring step forward, lifting his foot over the fallen whipped cream can that had finally come to rest in the center of the isle.

"You're in violation of your parole! You certainly wouldn't have been granted permission to leave the country, even if the idiots in the legal system did let you out unjustly! Leave now! Or I'll call the police and let them deal with you!"

"Ooo! An empty threat! Never knew you to be fool enough to make those L. I always thought you were smart." He chuckled. L winced. "You and I both know you won't be calling the police. Even if you did…I'd be more then happy to stay and explain the situation to them. I'd be more then happy to tell them how dead you and your boyfriend _really_ are." L and Light both stiffened. So Webber knew. He knew quite well that L, the detective, was supposed to be dead. And he also knew that Light Yagami was also meant to be dead. There still wasn't any telling if he knew Light had been Kira. But he seemed to be aware of pretty much everything else. Their carefully kept secrets were no longer so carefully kept. And this was the exact thing L had feared.

"Watch what you say Webber!" It was a warning from L. And he looked dead serious as he shot it Webber's way. L glanced around nervously. No one else was in this isle. But there were plenty of people around and someone could come by at any moment. The isle walls lined with food products were by no means sound proof. Someone standing in the next isle could easily overhear if they wanted to listen. Potato chips didn't offer much insulation.

"I don't think you're in any position to be making demands, L."

"Stop using that name."

"Oh? What am I supposed to call you? How about cupcake? I remember how much you loved cupcakes." L shrunk back from the nickname in a way that made Light cringe. Light's trembling increased. He wouldn't stand for this! He couldn't! He had just taken one step forward when L held out his hand in warning.

"Raito-kun, don't! Stay where you are!" And L's voice was so full of demand that Light had frozen on the spot, taking orders from L for the second time. He looked to the person he cared for most. Despite how very well L was hiding it…Light had come to recognize the underlying fear in his black orbs. Was he worried for his safety? Webber glanced back at Light with interest, his beady eyes grinning.

"Raito-kun, eh? Kun? A Japanese term of endearment? How quaint! Really cupcake, you've grown sentimental over the years."

"What the hell do you want Webber? I mean other then to torment me with the fact that you were legally released from jail by an unjust and corrupt system!"

"A system you used to stand by as I recall."

"Only when it was proper."

"Nothing's ever proper. I mean, look at you. You can't say you're proper after what you've done. I'd explain more if it didn't make you so uncomfortable in a public place." He grinned, and then actually chuckled. Light's eyes narrowed. How _dare_ he torment his L right in front of him! Light's trembling increased. "Let's see if I can answer your second question. What do I want? I'm a _man_ cupcake. I want _lots_ of things."

This tone of voice wasn't lost on either Light or L. Light's eyes narrowed. Webber took a step forward and Light saw L stiffen as if expecting to be struck. The pressure was building with the strength and sickness in Webber's smile.

"Did you miss me cupcake? Did you think about me at all while I was in jail?" Webber took another step toward L. L shrunk back away from Webber, the cool expression on his face dissolving as his dark rimmed eyes widened with a look Light never wanted to see on his face ever again. Light couldn't keep himself at bay, he reacted on instinct.

He took a loud and violent step forward.

"You get the fuck away from him!" He cried. Webber froze briefly, then turned away from L and instead looked to Light. He grinned maliciously.

"Ah, the boyfriend's upset." He started walking toward Light slowly, like a stalking tiger. "Don't want me to touch you're pretty little L?" L tensed even more fiercely; clearly he was unhappy about this turn of events. He did not want Webber anywhere near Light. Webber seemed unconcerned. He stopped just in front of Light who still hadn't moved due to L's insistence. He was still looking quite enraged. L prayed he was able to hold his volatile temper. They were in a tight situation. Any involvement with the police would work against them. The police didn't protect the dead.

"Do you have a problem, you little faggot?" Webber snarled. "You can't make anything of it. So why don't you hold your tongue? As my little sweetness said, we're in a public place." The heat in Light's chest was almost too much to bear. The pressure was becoming painful. Webber's nicknames for L were more then sickening. Light wanted nothing more then to strike him down. He wanted to rip that smirk off his face. But he glanced at L briefly, finding him framed underneath the man's arm. L shook his head 'no' in a wild and desperate way.

Light shifted his eyes back to Webber. He snarled dangerously.

"As L already asked, what the hell do you want? And don't give us another shit for brains answer!" Webber smirked.

"Holding back for your honey? That's sweet." Webber's eyes smiled just as much as his lips and Light swore it was ten times worse.

"I just wanted to see what L looked like as an adult. Find out if he was still as cute." He lifted his steely eyes, shifting them to roll over his shoulder. He fixated them onto L like glue. They were intrusive, perverse even. They touched L with their stare as they narrowed slightly. "You are by the way…"

L trembled only once, the only sign of discomfort that he allowed himself to show. Light on the other hand, was not trying to hide his fury. He seethed. He simply couldn't stand for this anymore. He couldn't allow Webber to look at L that way, to let such foul words slide off his tongue.

"You shut your mouth you fucking asshole!" Light was unable to control himself, his fury was too fierce. Against L's instructions, he drew back his fist. Webber turned to look back at Light just as he let his knuckles fly. Having only a second to react, Webber swiftly lifted a hand. Light's fist landed in his open palm with a THWACK! Webber caught the punch on the fly. He was much faster then he looked. And Light quickly assessed with his widening eyes that this man must have been involved in martial arts. There was no other explanation to being able to do what he'd just done.

Webber was faster than Light. Webber was stronger. He was bigger, taller and much more trained. Light stared up at the much larger man in shock, his brown eyes huge. Light was suddenly aware of how inadequate he must have been in comparison to this man. Webber was a pro. One quick block was proof enough of that. Webber grinned down at Light, his expression quite smug.

"Aww, no need for jealousy. You're cute too." Webber still had Light's fist caught in his grasp. He mercilessly started to squeeze. Light felt the bones in his hand shift as it was being crushed. He let out a small cry. He grit his teeth, trying to ignore the pain that was now shooting up his arm like spikes of fire. He wouldn't give the man the satisfaction. Webber closed his thick fingers even more tightly around Light's hand, seemingly eager to make him cry out. Light's face contorted, but he would not oblige.

Suddenly, L had jumped in, seemingly at the speed of light. He grabbed Webber's hand and pulled his fingers backward, crunching them in the wrong direction. Webber cried out from the sudden pain and released his victim. L wasted no time; he grabbed Light and shoved him roughly backward. Then L spun around and took a protective place in front of him. He held an arm out, shielding Light from the offenses before him. His face was contorted into a look of anger that Light had never seen. Not even after he found out the truth about Light's feelings.

"Don't touch him! Don't you _ever_ touch him!" His voice was low, gruff even. It did not sound like L. Not the L Light knew. Webber didn't seem nearly as surprised as Light was. Whereas Light wore a face of shock, Webber's grin remained solidly in place as if it were made of concrete.

"The genius isn't thinking too brightly is he? We're in a public place L, what did you think I was going to do? I was just testing his resolve."

"I don't care. You'll never touch him! He's mine!" A hot, quick blush came to Light's cheeks. What had L just said?

"Oh ho ho! Possessive are we? Coming out of the closet? Are you admitting it then? You two are bumper buddies? Hm? How is it L? Is it as terrible as you feared?"

Light's heart was pounding. What the hell was going on here? Had L just confessed to his feelings? What was Webber referring to? What exactly had happened between the two of them? Light feared the very worst. If Webber had done what Light thought he'd done…

Light suddenly squeezed his eyes shut. _No! There's no proof! I don't know for certain!_ He quickly turned his thought's elsewhere to keep himself sane. He would not, could not think about it now. He instead focused on his anger. If Light couldn't beat Webber to a pulp, what could he do to help? He certainly couldn't stand for this anymore. He couldn't let this man badger L. He couldn't let him hurt him.

"Did you tell your little Kun about us? Hm? Does he know? I bet you didn't tell him. Can I tell him for you? How about it? I'll save you the trouble and the pain."

"Don't you fucking dare!"

"Oh! You're cursing now too? That's not very much like you cupcake. You always had a clean mouth. Are you picking up bad habits from this Japanese kid?"

"Webber if you're only here to harass me, then we're leaving!" L lashed out like a snake, grabbing Light's hand with the grip of a gargoyle. He crushed Light's already previously crushed palm as if it were dust. Light actually let out a yelp of pain as he started to get dragged off.

"If you leave L, I'll tell the world." L stopped abruptly. They all knew what Webber was talking about. He had dirt on both of them. Major dirt. Life threatening dirt. He could have them killed just by opening his phone and making a call. L turned slowly. Webber wanted something. But the only something L could think of was revenge. His insides squirmed and trembled. He could only think of one thing that Webber would desire.

"What do you want Webber?" Still the question came out, slow, collected, steely even. L dared not show his new emotions to this man. His new found feelings were meant for only one person. The burley man's lips curled.

"Give me your address. We'll talk properly without trying to cover our words for public ears."

"No. Neutral ground. Pick another place."

"Your address…or I'm making a phone call. You bet your skinny, sugary, ass that I'll only be in jail for a year tops for violating my parole. You and your boyfriend on the other hand…" Light felt L's hand tremble as he continued to grip him like death. Why couldn't he think of anything to do? Why couldn't he help? There had to be something, anything he could do to protect L. But he couldn't think of a damned thing. He couldn't attack the man. And anything he'd say would be useless. There was nothing until they knew what Webber wanted. So…unable to do anything else…Light returned the grip L offered. He gave L's palm a reassuring squeeze.

_Please hold on L. We'll get through this. I promise. _

L hesitated. He was looking scared. Giving Webber their address was the worst possible idea he could think of. But what could they do? If they refused…and got on the plane…Webber would still call the police and tell them that he and Light were alive. If that happened…there'd be a worldwide manhunt for the couple. Nowhere would be safe. The fleeting happiness they had gained would be crushed. They would never be allowed to rest, never be allowed to live in peace. They couldn't run.

L let off another tremble. They couldn't call the police on Webber either. He may have violated his parole, but he'd been let out of jail legally. Granted it had been a corrupt system that released him, and most likely there had been bribes and other such darkness involved, but he'd still been let out legally in the words eyes. He'd only be put back in jail for a short while. Then he would be let out and he would come after them again. Or worse…if he was mad enough, he'd tell the police the truth even from behind bars. There was no way out.

L could not give him a fake address either for the same reasons. They could not trick him. They could not persuade him. They could not outsmart him.

"A neutral zone." L insisted on it again. It was all he could do. He at least had to try once more.

Webber sighed, his smile falling from his face for the first time since they met. Without the smile, his face was much different, somehow much more terrifying. His deep smoker's wrinkles became even deeper still. Newer wrinkles appeared next to the more defined ones. Anger etched its way into his face in this matter until his beady eyes were livid. As his small eyes squinted, his mouth twisted into a scowl. His expression was frightening even to Light who did not know him personally.

"Don't jerk me around snicker doodle! If you want even more incentive, why don't I start telling your pretty boyfriend about you and me until you answer? Does that sound good?" He threatened. L stiffened all over again. Light felt it in his trembling hand.

"That's not necessary Webber…" But Webber didn't seem to be listening. His infuriated face focused on Light.

"Hey twinkle toes! Wanna know about L and me? We had a lot of fun together, just the two of us! I had him in a basement for a time. I had him tied to a chair!"

"Webber! I said it's not necessary! I'll tell you the adder-!"

"You wanna know what I did to him boyfriend? Do you wanna know exactly what I did? Do you wanna know about how he-!"

"_The four hundred building!"_ L suddenly shouted. "Just next to the park! Room seventeen eighty-two!" There was silence for a few seconds after L's outburst. But then, slowly, like a snake slithering onto his face, Webber's smile returned. L gasped for air.

"Good boy. Just like old times. I know just how to twist you L. Don't forget that." Webber turned around then and started to walk away from the two and into the back of the store. "I'll stop by when I feel like it. I'll see you two love birds then. And you better be there, or you know what I'll do." He lifted his hand into the air and waved without ever taking another look at either of them.

Light seethed. His chest heaved in and out as his shoulders shook violently. He looked absolutely deranged. His eyes were filled with blood lust. Never in his life had he been forced to stand silently and watch something like this take place. Never in his life had he wanted to protect someone so badly and had been unable too. His fury overwhelmed him. It consumed him. It filled him with fiery heat.

Too enraged to keep it inside, he let out a terrible growl from deep in his throat. He went to lunge, but L still had a grip on him. L immediately threw his arms around Light's back, locking him in an embrace and halting him from running forward. He squeezed him desperately from behind.

"Raito-kun no! It's ok! I'm ok! I promise! I know what it sounds like! But he didn't do what you're thinking! He didn't! He never had the chance! I'm ok! Don't provoke him! I'm ok! I'm ok! I promise! He didn't do it! He didn't!" He buried his face into Light's back, still squeezing him from behind. With Webber gone, his trembles became severe. He shook as if caught in a snowstorm. He gasped in a breath of air. And then Light felt something wet start to soak into his shirt. It was only then that Light realized just how terrified L had been.

He'd put on a brave front. His face had even been angry, harsh, cold. L had seemed like stone while dealing with the ex-convict. He'd seemed immovable, like a mountain. He'd seemed like…like the old L that Light had once known. But now…now he was letting Light see just how rattled he'd been.

L clung to Light fiercely, his face hidden in his back. The wet sensation on Light's shirt began to spread, but L made no noise. Perhaps he was still afraid Webber was watching.

Light's anger melted with each tear that fell to his clothes. It melted like snow on a hot day. He simply could not hold onto his anger when L needed his support so badly.

"Hey…" Light said softly. He stood up straight, meaning to turn around so he could comfort L more properly, but L refused to let him go. As such, Light was stuck with him on his back.

"Lawliet…"

"Let's not go home…" L whispered, his voice shaking along with his body "Take me somewhere safe. Webber won't come immediately…or he would have asked us to take him to the apartment now instead of later…" He reasoned through his tears. "Take me somewhere safe…"

Light's heart pounded violently in his chest. He felt an array of powerful things. Fear was one of them. He was afraid of not being able to protect L. What if he couldn't? Webber was much more powerful. He seemed to be an expert at martial arts. Light was aware that he knew no such fighting techniques. He was just a drop out college student. How could he uphold his promise to L to protect him? How could he keep him safe against such a monster?

Light's eyes narrowed. He knew he had to try. He had to do everything in his power to do as L asked, to keep him safe. Light knew…he could never let that man near L again. He would never let L face him.

At first, Light couldn't think of where he could take L. How could anyplace be safe for them now? Not even the apartment was safe. In fact, the apartment was probably the most dangerous place they could go. He tried to think of other places, coffee shops, the bookstore, anything but the apartment. But none of those places really struck him as places that would help comfort his love interest. L needed a haven. A place where Webber could not go. A place where no one would bother them. A place where he could truly let himself act and feel however he needed too.

As Light turned these things over in his mind, an idea quickly came to him. Light knew exactly where to take L. He knew just where they could go to talk. He knew just the place where L would feel safest.

"Come on…I'll take care of you," he said softly. L finally allowed Light to turn around. Releasing him for just a moment so Light could face him. Light immediately put an arm around the shaken ex-detective. He held him close. L accepted the support gratefully.


	19. Coming Together

**Author's Note:** Ok, this is the chapter I really wanted to make this story M for. Although I think it's one of the best chapters I've ever written, I also think there's a lot in here that some younger readers should be cautious about. There's nothing overly graphic, so maybe I'm just being paranoid, but you can never be too careful. There is a lot of darkness since we dive into L's past some more. Anyway, it's also a pretty long chapter. Fifteen pages in Word. I hope all of you are in a place where you can read the entire thing all the way through!

Spotofpaint

---------------------------

L gaped in surprise as Light led him into the aquarium. He didn't know that Light still had his employee pass. It was far past closing time and no one else was around with exception of the few employees whose job it was to clean or feed the animals. Light was let right on in though security as the guards recognized him. The two guards smiled in quite sly ways as they eyed L at his side. Light's arm was still around his shoulders and L was sure that by this time, several days after the scene they'd created, the entire aquarium staff must have known.

L cheeks turned a quick shade of pink as the guards watched him. He said nothing, and did not pull away from Light despite the discomfort of the guard's stares. It only lasted for a few seconds and then they were inside.

The place was drastically different at night with all of the visitors gone. The low mumble of a crowd had disappeared, and now the huge open space with aquatic decorations and lights was eerily silent with exceptions of the echoes that filtered in through the five large wings. L suspected that the echoes they heard were from workers who were cleaning the tanks or feeding the sea life.

Light seemed to have a very clear destination at hand. He steered L purposefully and directly toward one of the five wings. L glanced up to see that they were heading into the Ocean Voyager, the wing that contained the whale sharks.

"Raito-kun…where are we…" But he didn't finish. There was really no need. Light didn't answer and L knew he wouldn't. He would find out the answer to his question soon enough.

L could not pretend that he didn't feel the same sensation in his chest as he had earlier. The one that made him think he might be getting ill. It was a fluttering feeling. As if he had swallowed several butterflies, or an equally twitching creature. Like maybe bats or birds. He knew that the reason he felt this way was because Light remembered. Light had remembered the question he had asked him during the tour. He had remembered that he had wanted to come here with him after hours…just to spend a bit of time with him alone.

Even L had not really known it at the time. But he understood it now. He understood perfectly why he'd wanted this. And he was beginning to understand why his chest felt so strange.

He swallowed harshly, trying to down the lump that had formed in his throat. It was nerve wracking.

Light took him down one of the many dark tunnels, passing many exhibits and sea life without even a glance. He kept moving L onward, quickly and with a clear destination in mind. He moved him along for several minutes until finally they made it to one particular room.

L looked outward to see a huge, open, expansive room. It was built much like a movie theater, with benches lining a stadium-like seating area. And there at the very front of the room was a huge exhibit window. L remembered it from the tour. The gigantic window lead into the whale shark tank and it was five times bigger than a movie screen. It glowed a soft blue, and this blue lighting was the only light source in the theater. The water's glow radiated across the seats, bathing them in its soft light.

And of course, swimming by the gigantic window was an assortment of sea life. Schools of fish made themselves know in bright yellows, blues and indigos. The same flock of stingrays L recalled earlier in the tour in the tunnels swam by in the distance. They moved together fluidly, gracefully, making their way through the water and in-between colorful coral reefs. One of the Hammerhead sharks moved lazily near the bottom of the habitat.

L gazed at the scene with dark eyes. He almost immediately began to relax. It was peaceful. It put him at ease despite their sudden and very real problem.

"Here, let's sit down," Light said. He steered L over to the first row of benches and then gently helped L down. L immediately crawled up onto the first bench, curling his legs as he always had. Light sat beside him in the normal fashion.

"Webber won't be allowed inside of here. We're guaranteed to have some privacy, and it's the safest place we can be for now." L nodded in agreement. It was true. The guards would never let Webber in after hours. Not if he didn't work on the staff team.

It grew quiet as neither spoke. Both seemed content to watch the fish swim by. The whale shark cruised past the giant window, casting its shadow over both young men. As it left, the blue glow of the water returned.

"Lawliet…" Light said softly. "…please tell me about Webber. Now that it's come to this, it's a necessity that I know. We need to come up with a plan. We need to outwit him to save our hides. Whatever it is that he wants…I don't want him to have it. We need to be ready when we head back to the apartment, and the only way we can do that is if we work together to formulate a plan. I can't help you without knowing all of the facts." L did not turn to face Light. He did not tear his eyes off of the calming image of the fish swimming serenely by. But he did wrap his arms more tightly around his legs.

"I know…" he said softly. L slowly bowed his head, resting his chin on top of his kneecaps. His large black eyes gradually closed giving him a very worried appearance. Light remained quiet, as he knew L was thinking very hard. L didn't move for a long time. He stayed in his strange position, curled up tightly, eyes closed in distress. But then finally, several torturous minutes later, he lifted his head once again.

But much to Light's shock, L did not answer him verbally. Instead, L turned himself so he was facing Light, and then leaned back on the bench. Light's eyes widened with surprise as L kept going until he was practically lying down. He had himself propped up on his elbows so he could see Light's shocked face, but the rest of his body was flat against the bench.

Light grew a ridiculous shade of red.

_What the hell is he doing?_ He wondered. Whatever it was L was trying to accomplish, it wasn't clear. All Light knew was that it was a very inviting pose and it was also extremely arousing. _He has to be doing this on purpose! What's the point? Unless…unless he….he wants me to…._ Light's red face became a deep dark purple. No. That couldn't be it. They were in a public place. L had never responded to his earlier confessions. Surely it was a mistake.

L suddenly kicked off his sandals. Light almost died. He swore his heart stopped. Then L lifted one of his feet. He stretched out his leg and rested the heel of his foot gently on top of Light's thigh.

Light let off a small tremble. Surely this was some crazed dream. Surely it was a mistake. In confusion, and in a state of frantic arousal, Light looked to L's face.

Light's urges immediately disappeared, like ice water poured onto a fire. L appeared absolutely crushed. He looked like he was in pain. A terrible type of pain that Light couldn't understand. Light's heart plummeted. It spasmed violently in his chest. Why did L look so broken? Why were his black eyes so mournful? Why would he present himself like this if it was clearly not what he wanted?

Pain throbbed inside of Light as he watched that face. He began to wonder if he had somehow pressured him in someway, made him feel like he needed to do this in order to get Light to stay with him.

Light opened his mouth to question this odd and uncomfortable situation when L spoke first.

"…look at it…" His voice came in a waver, as if it took all his strength to keep himself together. Light blinked. _Look at it?_ His mind already in the gutter, it took him several seconds to realize that L was referring to his foot. Light breathed once, and then glanced down at the bare foot that rested on top of his right thigh.

It was then that he finally saw it. Even in the very dim and poor lighting of the blue aquarium, Light could very easily see that the skin on the bottom of L's foot was unnatural looking. It was far too smooth, almost fake in appearance, like plastic. And it took him several more seconds to realize that it was all scar tissue. His almost eyes widened in horror.

_What is this?_ In a sudden franticness, Light grabbed L's other foot. He ripped off the sandal tossing it to the ground. The he brought it up into his lap with its partner and stared at it. It matched the other foot.

Light stared, horrified. His heart pounded. L's display hadn't been a pass at all. He had been trying to explain something to Light. He was trying to let him in on another secret. And because of his difficulty in communication in this area, he had been trying to demonstrate without words. Light felt like a sudden and total fool. While L was in pain, he had been thinking about sex. His heart throbbed as his face contorted. He was terrified to ask the inevitable question. He was terrified of the answer. This was L's answer to Webber. Then that meant…

"Webber did it…" L said quietly. "…this is why I don't wear shoes. I have no pores left. My feet can't breathe if they…if they're enclosed…" Light's stare hadn't wavered from the two feet in his lap. His heart was thudding like a brick against his ribs. His chest grew tight. "…it…shoes are…uncomfortable. It doesn't hurt anymore…but…"

Light reached out one of his hands slowly and very tenderly touched his fingers to the bottom of one of L's feet. L stopped speaking as Light did so. Neither said a word as Light took in the moment, took in what it meant. He ran his fingers gently over the smooth surface; pain etching its way into his fine Japanese features. L twitched only once at the contact. But he was more upset by Light's pain filled expression than by being touched.

"I didn't want to tell you…"

"How?" Light asked suddenly. "How did this…" The whale shark swam by a second time, briefly blocking the light. In that single second, Light was able to imagine L's feet as being normal and whole. But then the shark finished his rounds and the light returned, revealing the horrid truth.

"…he did it with an iron," L said. Light snatched his hand back and away from L's foot as if this news made his skin suddenly still hot.

"An iron?" He cried in horror. L nodded slowly. Then he started to sit back up. He pulled his feet back and away from Light, tucking them in underneath himself as he curled into his usual position. He was quiet as he focused on the fish swimming by.

"I was twelve. I had already solved many cases at that point. They had moved me up to the more sinister criminals, the ones that no one else had been able to catch. They put me on a team in Australia where they were hunting a serial rapist. The rapist was known as The Burner. Have you heard of him?" L glanced away from the peaceful view of the swimming aquatic life and to his still stunned, horror struck roommate. Light shook his head negatively.

"No." L held Light's gaze for only a second, and then faced the large glass window in front of them once more. "The Burner specialized in young male victims. Most of his victims were my age at the time, between nine and fourteen years old. His style was to burn a particular part of the victim's body before raping them, and then finally killing them. He had a very specific approach to his crimes."

Light's stomach turned. He didn't like where this was going. He suddenly didn't want to know the rest. He didn't want to know why, or how, or any of the other questions that had been spinning in his mind ever since L had mentioned the name 'Webber.'

But Light knew he had no choice. L had no choice either. He was being forced to tell this tale, and Light wad being forced to listen. If they were to survive, it was something that had to be done. Their new found emotions, their relationship and their very lives depended on this story, on any information they could get about Webber.

"The very first day I was working on that case I knew something fishy was occurring. No one would claim a link between all of the thirteen victims. But it wasn't because there wasn't one. There was a very obvious link. It was just that no one before me had the gall to point it out. All thirteen boys were in one way or another, no matter how obscured, connected to the police department. I knew immediately that it was an inside job. But it would take time to figure out who exactly the culprit was. He wasn't your average criminal. He had access to all of the police tricks, all of their equipment. And I knew that it was a possibility, that he even had access to information from the case. That was why he had been so difficult for others to capture. No one wanted to admit the truth."

A very large sunfish lazily made its way into the huge picture viewing area. It moved slowly, serenely. L kept his eyes fixated on it, no longer even glancing Light's way. But Light's sight was fixed on L. He wouldn't miss a second. He wouldn't blink. If he did, he could miss a cue, or a clue to what L was feeling inside.

Light noticed that L was telling his story in a very factorial way. He was trying his best to be distant from it. As distant as he could. Light felt his stomach clench. It was bad then. It was going to be very bad.

But he clung to at least one hope. Back in the grocery store, L had said that Webber had not done the unthinkable. L had told Light that he had not been raped. There was hope in that. But everything else seemed dooming. The evidence was building in a very unfavorable way.

"After several weeks and loosing two more victims, I had narrowed my suspects to the men on my investigation team. There was no other explanation for the two new youths who had died. The information had been sealed. I made sure that there were no leeks. It had to have been one of the men I worked with everyday." The sunfish had finally made its way out of the viewing area, leaving no indication that it had ever been there.

"I was emotionally crippled by that time. I had been far too desensitized to feel much of anything when I made that discovery. The past three years of my work had been…excruciatingly painful. And I no longer felt pain by the time I was twelve. I had learned to lock it away so it would not bother me as I worked. So I did what I was trained to do: I took the most logical course of action.

I informed my superiors of my discoveries. They immediately picked up on the best logical course themselves. It was quite clear what ought to be done to catch The Burner. If I interviewed each man from the investigation team alone…the truth would come out. I fit the desirable type. A child of twelve was the perfect age. I had come from a poor background. I appeared vulnerable despite my intellect. It was just what our murderer was looking for in a victim."

"Lawliet…" Light slid closer to where L sat. He moved until their sides were touching. He still didn't want to hear the rest. Light was sure, he already understood. "There's no need to continue…if you're uncomfortable. I understand."

"No, I must finish it." L's voice had not risen in volume, but it was thick with intensity. Light observed L's face as the ex-detective stared at the hammerhead shark as it made its second loop. Light was sure he understood. L needed to finish his story because…he needed to get it out of him. Light recognized this as more of the same type of thing he had piled inside of him on the night of his nightmare. He needed to get it out. It was rotten.

"My superiors put an earpiece in my ear that would transmit any audio to them. But they would not risk putting wires on me since there was a possibility any wire would have been discovered underneath my clothing. They stood nearby with a swat team, ready to take down The Burner the moment we had evidence. I was assured that I was safe. But I knew I was not, even at the time. I understood exactly how my superiors worked. I knew what they wanted. They wanted hard evidence. They didn't want evidence that Webber was a perverted man; they wanted evidence that he was The Burner.

I understood that going into it. I understood that my superiors did not care for me as a person…but as a tool. If I did not perform my job, they would get a different tool. So I did what was expected of me. No questions asked. I could not face the alternative. I could not face the possibility of being thrown into a mental ward. To me…at that time…anything would have been better. So, I agreed. And I called the first man up to my hotel room for a private meeting where I was instructed to…um…temp our prey."

L finally tore his eyes away from the aquatic scene before him and glanced fleetingly Light's way. But the very moment their eyes met, L flicked them back and away once again. Light knew he was checking to see his reaction, to read his face, to see how he felt about all of this. Light was certain that his utter and complete revulsion was on his face.

Light could scarcely believe what he was being told. So much so that he wanted to question L. But he knew there was no point. He didn't want to make it any harder than it already was for him. But Light had such a hard time believing that an entire board of adults instructed a twelve-year-old boy to act in a way that could have lead to not only harm…but death. L's superiors _told_ him to go through with this crazy, absurd plan.

Granted, L was gifted. He was a genius. But that meant nothing when faced with such an atrocity. As earlier that evening, Light began to tremble with rage. It wasn't fair! None of this was fair!

"The first man called to meet with me was Webber. I knew immediately, within sixty seconds that he was our man. He had always been professional in the investigation room. He had always kept to his own work, done as he was told. He had never questioned my authority. He had even been polite to his other teammates. But the moment he stepped into my room…he was a different man.

He didn't know I had an earpiece in at first. He thought we were alone. He dropped the professionalism right away, calling me 'kid' instead of 'L' as instructed. He got comfortable, pulled up a chair; put his feet on my table. He acted very cocky, superior to me even. He acted as if he were the king of the entire world. His drastic attitude change was a surprise. But I absorbed it as I absorbed everything back then. I analyzed it. His physiological profile suddenly matched that of our killer.

I tried to act a little less uptight than I usually was in the investigation room, to try and give the impression that I really was just a kid after all, despite my abilities. But it was more difficult than I thought. I had trouble with it. I didn't know how to act like a child. Webber seemed to sense this. As I said earlier, he was more intelligent than most criminals. He might have been onto me from that very moment, it's still unclear. The point is, he knew what I was trying to accomplish…and he decided to take his chances anyway. Perhaps he saw it as a challenge. Perhaps I was a prize. The more difficult to take, the better. Whatever the true reason, he had kept his cool.

He asked if I would take a walk with him. My superiors informed me through my earpiece that I should. They assured me that they would follow with the swat team without being noticed. So I followed him out of the hotel, against my better judgment. I couldn't argue with my superiors. I couldn't say anything, or Webber would have known. All I could do was follow orders.

The moment we stepped outside, a car drove by. Webber shoved me inside where I met his accomplice. Webber tied and gagged me, keeping me in the backseat where no one would see me while his accomplice drove the car. My superiors told me they were tailing them, not to panic. So I remained calm…" His black eyes flickered, looking disturbingly like a dimming candle flame. "…even when Webber started promising…to…do undesirable things to me…"

L's chin lowered and Light watched in dismay as L lowered his nose down into his knees. There he hid the lower half of his face, his eyes slipping from the fish and moving down to the floor. The black, tired rims around his eyes seemed to somehow grow even darker before Light's eyes.

Light felt his chest tighten even further. He couldn't even imagine what that must have been like. He couldn't imagine going through something like that when he was twelve. Light was suddenly very aware of the fact that he had been coddled his entire life. When he was twelve…he was in a private school, making straight A's. He was at the top of his class. He was popular. He was just discovering the fact that his good looks could get him what he wanted when it came to girls. And while Light was doing all of that…L…was in the back seat of a car, tied and gagged, with a rapist sitting next to him. And the reason L was there…was because he was _supposed_ to be there. Because he was _instructed_ to be there. It made Light feel ill. His stomach clenched for the second time since L started his story.

"I didn't get scared…until the car went into a tunnel. Once in the tunnel, communication with the base was lost. Webber was smart. He knew I was bugged by that time. While we drove through the tunnel, he searched me. He…lifted up my shirt and…felt around for bugs. He couldn't remove my clothes because my wrists and ankles were bound but he…" L's arms curled more tightly around his legs. He squeezed them tightly, his eyes lowering even further until he was staring at his toes. "He used it as an excuse…he knew there were no bugs in the area's he explored…"

Light's heart wrenched. His face contorted with misery and fury all at once. Webber…Webber had done this. Webber had done this to his L. Webber had put that heartbreaking expression onto L's face.

"He found the earpiece halfway through the tunnel. He took it out, crushing it. My hope went along with it…and that was when I finally became truly afraid. I knew I could not be tracked without it. I couldn't even tell them where we were going…"

L paused once more, his emotions overriding his ability to speak. It was difficult. It had always been difficult. It was much easier to talk to Light. More so than with anyone else he'd ever met. But even so…it was hard. L wasn't sure if he could finish what he'd started. Light certainly didn't look like he wanted to hear more. He looked heartbroken enough already.

"Lawliet…if you have to get it all out, understand. But if it's too difficult, you don't have to go into detail. Just…just tell me the basis of what happened. You can generalize if it helps. Anything at all you need."

L closed his eyes, keeping his nose buried in his knees. He inhaled deeply. He knew he had to finish. Light deserved to know. Whatever plan they would form would be based on what L knew of Webber and what kinds of things had been done to him. Still…L did not want to upset Light further. He didn't want to see him angry. In the past, L enjoyed seeing Light's anger at the injustices he suffered. But…not this time. This time, he didn't want to hurt him. But he knew he must.

"He blindfolded me before we left the tunnel. After that…I had no idea where we were. I tried to keep track of things like lighting and how many hills we went up or down. But I simply did not know the terrain well enough to be able to tell where we were going from that. I counted the lights we stopped at…but if any where green, my count would have been off.

I clocked us and within exactly twenty-three minutes we stopped. When they took me out, I listened for anything that would help me. I even tried smelling for things like water that might be nearby. But there was nothing. Webber lifted me up so that I couldn't even tell how many steps it was to the building or structure we entered. He took me inside. The place had a hollow sound. I assumed it was a large empty area, like a loading bay, or a warehouse. But he immediately took me down several flights of stairs. He took me down to the basement…"

L seemed eager to focus on something other than his toes at that moment. So he lifted his gaze back up to the viewing window just in time to see the school of stingrays glide gracefully over the glass. Their white underbellies were revealed, showing their gills and slotted mouths. It was a beautiful sight.

"…lovely," he mumbled into his knees. Blinking in confusion, Light looked up to witness the sight as well. But he wasn't as captivated. He immediately turned back to L, his face full of concern. He leaned in close, wanting to be near to be L's support, but he dared not touch him.

"Lawliet…" he prompted. The stingray school left and as if coming out of a dream, L's eyes faded back to the gloom they had just been submerged in. They flickered back down to his toes.

"His accomplice waited outside to guard the building entrance. Webber took me into one of the basement rooms. He threw me to the ground…" Light's heart clenched.

"When he removed the blindfold, I found all sorts of…burning instruments around me. A fire poker…that was used on the second victim. There was a lighter and cigarettes. Those were used on the sixth. There were matches and also seemingly innocent things if I didn't know what they had previously been used for. Mugs and tea pots were used to pour boiling water onto the fourth victim.

I was still bound. He let me absorb my surroundings, knowing perfectly well that I understood what each item had been used for in the past. Then he lifted me up from the concrete and pushed me into a chair. He bound me further here, so that I could not move.

He was a very big talker. He still is, judging from our encounter in the store. He started explaining to me why he liked to hurt boys like me. He explained about…the pleasure he took from it. He…started promising things. He talked quite a bit. He called me names for a while, made fun of my appearance before saying that he enjoyed my unique looks.

Then…he started to explain what he was going to do to me…" Light's chest was so tight at that point, that his breathing had become much more difficult. It was hard to take in air when there was so much pressure. He could scarcely stand it. It was torture.

He felt almost as if he were right beside that younger version of L. He could practically see it. He could see L, forced to sit in a chair against his usual ways, his feet tied down near the floor instead of curled against his chest. He could see the stoic, unmoved look of that child's face. As if he did not care what Webber would do to him. Light could see L's uncaring expression…even while inside…he must have been as terrified as any other child. L would have looked Webber directly in the eyes. Defiantly. He would not have cowered or cried or begged for freedom. He sat there. Quietly. As instructed. Awaiting the things Webber promised without complaint.

Light let out a sudden and unexpected sob. It surprised both men. L lifted his head. He glanced over to Light, his black eyes wide. He was shocked to see tears. They streamed down Light's cheeks, raining onto the benches they sat on. L witnessed an expression of complete and utter torment on Light's face. It was contorted, his almond eyes squeezed shut with agony. Perhaps it was shocking because L had never seen Light cry before. He'd never seen tears fall from his usually cool and steady gaze.

It pulled at L in a way he never could have guessed. It was magnetic, stronger than gravity. It pulled him in with such force as he could not possibly resist. And before he could think, or stop, or react, L had lifted his hands.

"Raito-kun…" He reached out and very gently took Light's face into his pale palms. He caressed each of his cheeks, letting their skin come together gently and ever so slightly. Then he ran his thumbs over the trails that marked Light's face lightly. Tenderly, and with much care, he wiped away Light's tears.

"Don't cry…" he whispered. "I'm ok Raito-kun." But it didn't seem to help as much as L would have liked. Light was trembling now, his breath coming in quick gasps as he tried to fend off the onslaught of tears. L knew he had to finish and finish quickly. The story was tearing Light apart. And he could not bare to hurt him for much longer.

"He removed my socks and shoes and fetched the iron. After burning the skin off my feet, he promised to do the things he had done to the other boys. He unbound me from the chair so that he could remove my clothing. Free from my bonds, I tried to fight back. Obviously I was over powered. But I put up enough of a struggle to buy myself some more time. He didn't get very far. After a short while, the swat team arrived, led by Watari. Even though the transmitter had been broken, they had been tailing Webber in a car. They'd lost him in the tunnel, but had a general idea of where he was. They found him quickly. They came and stopped him. They pulled him off me. So I'm ok Raito-kun." Light gasped in another desperate breath of air. He wasn't taking it well. L knew he had hurt him.

"I'm sorry Raito-kun…but I am ok. Please…no need to cry…" L wiped carefully at Light's face again as more tears fell. He brushed them away as if he could stop Light's pain if he simply cleaned fast enough to keep up with the falling water. Light struggled to get himself under control, but a part of him wanted to continue crying. He wanted to feel this pain. As if he could feel it for L, so L wouldn't have too.

Shaking, he raised his hands and wrapped each palm around one of L's wrists. He gently brought L's hands down and away from his face. His almond, brown eyes opened to reveal just how much agony L's story put him in. L stared back with deep blackened eyes.

"Lawliet…did he touch you?" Another tear fell. L's stare flickered aside, a hint of shame finding its way into those orbs. Light noted the color that rose to his cheeks. He did not need to answer.

"Damn it!" Light screamed. His voice echoed off of the huge walls and the tall ceiling. It then bounced back to meet their ears.

"Raito-kun please…as I already explained he didn't get far. Watari came. He hadn't even managed to…"

"I don't _fucking_ care how _far_ he got! If he touched you I'm going to fucking _kill _him! That sick bastard! What the _hell_ is wrong with him? How could he do that to you? How could he hurt you? _This_ is why I wanted to become Kira! This right here! That bastard deserves to die! He deserves death! He deserves worse than death! If I were around when he was rampaging through his crime spree, he would have been killed after the first child died! There didn't need to be fifteen other victims! _You_ didn't need to be a victim! I could have saved you!"

"I don't want Kira to save me!" L started to struggle suddenly in Light's grasp, when just a moment ago he had seemed to enjoy it. Now he seemed desperate to get away. "I_ hate_ Kira! Kira hurt me much more than Webber has! Kira stole Raito-kun from me! He locked him away so that I couldn't see if I was talking to Raito-kun or with Kira! He's killed thousands! Innocents! Other police officers! Other detectives! Kira played games with me! He used Raito-kun as bait! He found my buried emotions and he played with them like toys! Kira _tortured_ me!"

And then suddenly, they were both crying. L seemed to crumple like wet paper, falling forward, his black hair hanging dreadfully across his face. Light continued to hold onto his wrists. He was the only thing keeping L up, keeping his body from collapsing to the bench entirely.

"I _hate_ Kira!" L screamed again. "I'd rather have let Webber take me than have Kira save me! Kira is a _demon!_" Light's heart shattered, he swore into a million pieces as L started to sob in an uncontrollable manner. It was hard to take. It was hard to watch L let out cries of despair when he managed to stay perfectly calm and somewhat collected while talking about Webber. He spoke of Webber for many long moments. L had been unhappy, yes, uncomfortable, even shamed, but he didn't react like this.

Kira they had spoken about for only a few short seconds. And this is what it did to him. This is how L truly felt about Kira.

Light wanted to die. _I was Kira._ He thought. _I did this to him._ Light's soft, brown eyes were already filled with pain. But to watch L cry out a third time was nearly impossible. Light reached out with his hands, and keeping true to his favorite past time, he took L into his arms. He brought him in very close, wrapping his arms around L's shuddering shoulders.

"Lawliet…please. Shhh…Kira's dead. I promise. He's dead. He's not coming back. He has no power over me anymore. You're the only one who has power over me now. Ok? So please…please…." L almost immediately calmed. The effects of Light's frequent hugs and calming sessions were growing more potent. L was learning just how to relax when in Light's grasp. He sighed heavily, his tears slowing quickly. For a few seconds they didn't move. But then, out of nowhere, L started chuckling.

Light's eyes widened with shock and also a bit of fear. L was laughing? There was no argument there. With him in his arms, it was easy to feel his skinny body and bones convulse with the act. And of course, the bubbling sound that escaped his nose and mouth was a dead giveaway.

"Wh…what the hell are you laughing at?" Light cried in alarm. L pulled back from Light suddenly, a small grin on his face.

"It's just…getting to be so repetitious!" L said. Light gaped, his brows furrowing in confusion. "Will we do this everyday Raito-kun? Maybe we could start skipping the emotional torment, and go right to the comfort stages. I enjoy the closeness. Can we do it without the pain before hand?" He chuckled again, his black eyes squinting closed. Light gawked.

L was incredibly attractive when he was laughing. Especially when just a second ago he had looked so sad and miserable. The joy on his face was a miraculous breath of fresh air. He was adorable.

Light's cheeks grew warm as he contemplated what L had actually said. He wanted to be held more often? Sometimes just because? He didn't want a reason to be held is what he had said. Right?

Light swallowed harshly. His face still burned. They were still seated very close since they had hugged. L's curled legs were pressed against Light's thighs. Light's hands were still placed on L's shoulders, even though he'd pushed back a bit. L's smile remained. It seemed he was waiting for an answer.

"I…uh…yeah! Sure!" Light blubbered. "Whenever you want." L reached forward then, and seemingly not shy at all, wiped away the last bit of water that was on Light's red cheeks. Light's blush deepened.

"Raito-kun is very embarrassed tonight." Light had no retort or answer for that. So he said nothing. L finished his task and pulled his hands back and away from Light's face. L's smile slowly faded, but not to unhappiness. He seemed more relaxed. He sat back down on his haunches, resuming his usual seating position. He faced the fish once more.

It grew quiet. Awkwardly quiet. L turned to watch the fish once again and Light, needing something to do to fend off the squirming feeling in his gut, turned and did the same. Both sat silently as a school of angel fish moved past the window. Their silver scales shimmered and glowed in the blue light and they cast a peaceful light pattern on the dark floor. It was then that L cleared his throat.

"So…I've been considering Raito-kun's confession for the past few days…" he said softly. Light's heart leapt. Was this it? Was L giving him an answer now? Like someone had given him an adrenaline shot, Light's heart immediately began slamming itself around his chest cavity like a ping pong ball.

_Oh my God,_ he thought. _This is it!_ He was suddenly terrified of the answer, even though he was sure he already knew what it was. L had been affectionate. He'd even just expressed a longing for more…dare he call it this…cuddle time? Yes, Light was sure he would give a positive response, or he wouldn't have wanted to be so close. He wouldn't have told him about Webber. But still…it didn't still his racing heart.

L glanced to the side to where Light sat.

"I've decided to consider your request. Think of this as an open invitation. I'm willing to give it a try. But I'm afraid I have no concrete answer for you yet. You may do as you wish…make passes if you will. I do not promise that I will receive them, or reciprocate. But I cannot deny that I'm awfully fond of you Raito-kun. I enjoy your company and you affections. Perhaps if you show me what you truly want to show me I'll be able to understand myself a bit more clearly. Perhaps if you did what you wanted, I could…"

Light reached out with sudden speed. He grabbed onto L's shoulders and with no warning at all, he pulled him in close. He pulled him up and against his body, crushing his protruding ribs into his muscled chest. His second hand went to the back of L's head, and Light slid his fingers into that soft mess of black, warm hair. Then he leaned in, giving L no time to react, and pressed his lips against his.

Light kissed him sweetly, softly, tenderly. Showing L that he could be gentle and caring, yet at the same time, his sudden action also showed that he was firm and resolute. Light slid the skin of his lips against L's, lingering only a short time, just long enough to taste the man he had wanted to kiss for so long. Then he pulled back in order to gaze at his love interest.

L was looking rather stunned. His black eyes were huge; a light pink color tinted his cheeks. His mouth hung slightly ajar from the shock. Seeing he was quiet unable to speak, Light took the initiative.

"This is what I want Lawliet. This is what I want to do." Light continued to hold L in his arms. He didn't waver as L gazed up at him, his face still full of surprise. But then, slowly, ever so slowly, the surprise started to fade. A strange look entered L's eyes then, one Light had never seen in his eyes before. It was a soft look. Something very different from the harshness he usually wore.

"…so forward," he said breathlessly. A small trembled coursed through his boney form, but L did not struggle and he did not pull away. "That was a risk Raito-kun. Considering the story I just told you, did you not consider that such an action might frighten me?" But that soft look was still lingering in L's eyes and Light knew very well that he hadn't frightened L in the slightest. His confidence and resolution grew.

"It seemed like you needed a little push. You needed me to show you what I wanted. That was what you just said, wasn't it Lawliet? So I did as you asked. I showed you." L stayed in Light's grasp.

"So you did." L reached up one hand. His long, thin fingers stretched out to gently touch the soft bangs that hung in Light's eyes. He carefully pushed them aside. Light didn't even blink as L explored. "It was nice…" he finally said. "I've never been kissed before…" The pink color in L's cheeks grew to a deeper shade. "Is it ok for you Raito-kun? I…I'm seven years older than you."

"I don't care." And his answer was intense. He leaned over L, keeping the ex-detective propped up in his arms.

"Are you sure? Are you certain this is what you want?"

"Yes. I've been sure for some time. This is what I want."

"Positively? You want me? I am what you want? You wouldn't be happier with a pretty girl? Someone your age?"

"Never." Light breathed heavily. He felt the moment coming. L was double checking, because he was scared. He was double checking to make sure Light would not hurt him. "I want _you_ Lawliet, no one else. Never anyone else."

"But I'm broken."

"I will fix you."

"I'm lost in my ways."

"I'll find you."

"I'm unconventional."

"I'll be your norm." L let out a small scoffing type of laugh.

"You cannot be my solution to everything Raito-kun."

"I can sure as hell try."

"This isn't some romance novel…don't expect a happy ending…"

"There's nothing novel about this. Lawliet…I want you. Isn't that what you want to hear?"

"I want to hear the truth."

"It is the truth."

"You want me?"

"I do."

"Wouldn't that hurt me?"

"I would never hurt you. Never again Lawliet."

"You can't promise something like that…"

"I'll never hurt you intentionally. Lawliet…you're analyzing my words. What's holding you back? What's left that you're afraid of? I know how you feel about me. You know it too. Why can't you say it?" L's heart raced. Light could feel it pounding against his hands. He could feel it pound through L's back where his palms supported the smaller man. His dark eyes searched Light's face.

"Because…I've never been more afraid of losing something in all of my life…" he whispered. "And I've lost…so much Raito-kun…" Light's heart pounded to match L's. He leaned in even more closely; his breathe washing gently over L's face and neck.

"You won't lose me Lawliet." L inhaled deeply, his eyes closing.

"Stop making promises…you can't keep…" Light leaned in even more deeply, pressing his nose and lips against the base of L's ear. L's breathing deepened to match Light's and he exhaled.

"Lawliet…" Light whispered softly into his ear. "…I know you're afraid…but the only way to get what we want is to give it a chance. The only way to know for sure it to let it happen. I don't want to pressure you, because I love you. I'll do anything you want. Just give me the word. But I'll let you know this: I will never give up on you. I will pursue you until you tell me you don't want me. I will pursue you as long as there is a chance. Because it's true what I said. I want you. And I love you." He breathed in deeply, taking in L's scent. His ebony hair was soft as feathers against this nose. Light closed his eyes absorbing it. "I love you so very much…"

L's heart was pounding. A sensation he was not familiar with was urging him forward. Light's hot breath on his ear ignited some part of him that had been dormant all of his life until now. He felt a strange urge. A want. A need. It was a desire.

L could not remember ever desiring anything. How he had always longed for a desire. He desired desires. And Light always seemed to provide him with what he wanted. Light was offering him love. He said it many timed in his past speech. He loved him. And that filled him with a warmth that took over his entire being. It grabbed his withered heart and filled it so quickly that it almost hurt. L gasped in a breath of air. He was overwhelmed again. But he wanted to be overwhelmed this time. This time…

"Say it again," he breathed. He did not have to tell Light the exact thing he wanted to hear. Light already knew.

"I love you." L let out another rush of air as if the words were magic. It was simply everything he'd ever wanted.

"Again," he requested.

"I love you." L took it into him, letting it fill him. He reached out, wrapping his pale arms around Light's neck for support. He curled his hands around him, possessively.

"…again…" he whispered.

"I love you Lawliet. I love you. I love you I love you." L gasped for air as if the words stole his oxygen from his very lungs. Breathing heavily, he allowed fresh tears to fill his eyes.

"Raito-kun!" He cried suddenly. L pulled Light in closer And as he did, Light lifted L up higher. They came together, their lips connecting. L swore it was electricity that coursed through him. A tingling sensation filled his every pore, his every muscle. It sent a wave of warmth coursing through his veins like a title wave washing away the ice. Light's lips were soft and his body warm. His arms were strong and his scent full. It felt right. L felt safe. He felt wanted and loved and all of the things he'd always wanted to feel. Light held him tightly. Letting him know that he would never let him go. That he would stay, no matter what kind of doubts or fears L might have.

They continued to kiss for several minutes, simply enjoying the feel of one another. But Light soon moved away from L's mouth and instead began kissing an eager trail across his jaw line. He moved to L's neck where he worked tenderly. L felt that new sensation grow stronger. It cursed through him, sending a sudden warmth down his body and to his groin. He let out a small groan as his body tensed. Following Light's wandering lips, his hands also began to roam. He gently explored every vertebra in L's boney back. He felt the places where his shoulder blades protruded. He wanted to know everything. And as he explored, he kept his lips moving. He gently kissed the soft place just below L's ear. He heard L let out a small gasp.

"R…Raito-kun…I…h…hold on…" But Light certainly didn't want to stop. He'd been waiting for this moment for what seemed like a life time, when in fact, it had only been a few weeks. His body was warm, his hormones demanded to move forward. He continued to press his lips exotically against L's soft pale skin. He moved up to his ear where he blew into it gently. That same hot feeling grew even stronger as L let out another small gasp.

"Rai…Raito-kun wait a second…" This time at L's request, Light stopped himself, but not without much effort. Considering how much he really _really_ wanted this, it took much strength to pull himself away from the sweet smell of L's skin. But he did, because of L's hesitation. Not without a bit of annoyance, he gazed at L with a mixture of both anger and worry.

"What is it? What's the matter?" It was asked out of both concern and also a demand. It was a demand to know why. Why he was still holding back. L glanced away from Light appearing quite embarrassed.

"I…I'm not quite ready to do this…_here_. We…we're at the Georgia Aquarium…" Light blinked and then flushed, his cheeks growing warm with embarrassment. _Well duh!_ He thought to himself. Of course L didn't want to have sex in a public place! Now that Light thought about it…he didn't really want to either. God forbid a worker came by to check on the whale sharks before heading home for the night. That would have been embarrassing. Plus, they could be arrested for doing something like that in public. And last time Light checked, they really wanted to avoid the police.

Then Light's blush deepened as he realized something. _Wait…L probably wasn't even thinking about sex. This is probably just a make-out session._ He suddenly felt like a stupid school kid. L was probably no where near ready for something like sex. He'd been moving very slowly. It had taken him all of this time to simply admit to having emotions and embracing the fact that he was in pain from his past traumas. He had just now admitted to loving Light. Certainly he couldn't have been thinking about having sex right now, this very instant as Light was. His red face deepened to an ashamed purple.

"Yeah…stupid of me. Sorry," Light muttered. _Wait…_he suddenly thought. _L still hasn't told me he loves me .He never actually said those words. _Light frowned.

"Not stupid," L corrected. "…emotional. I've learned these past few weeks that there is a major difference. I've never know this difference before. I used to think people who acted irrationally out of emotion were morons. Now I know better." Light smiled softly, his embarrassment melting. L was so damned cute. Especially with the way his hair seemed to be sticking up on one side from their interaction. Light had an urge to see it stick up more…much more. But he had to squelch his thirst for now. It was not the time or place. He focused on the fact that they were both in trouble now and the fact that L was probably still worried about Webber.

"Lawliet, are you ready to go home?" The special mood that they had shared was suddenly gone. L's usual face of worry returned, his black eyes darkening. Light quickly reached out to hold his hand. L allowed it, letting their hands come together. "It'll be ok," Light said with an encouraging smile on his face. L lifted his gaze to receive it. "No matter what happens, I'll be with you. Ok? I won't let him hurt you."

And this time, instead of arguing with Light and asking him not to promise things he could not do…L nodded.

"Ok."


	20. Plans and Anxiety

**Author's Note:** Ok faithful readers, here's the deal: I have recently been laid-off from my job. I'm currently unemployed. Also, I just moved from one apartment to another. On top of that, there is fraud on my bank account, so I've been robbed and am penniless. Basically, the world decided to kick me while I'm down.

No worries, I will never stop writing. Ever. It would be like ceasing to breathe. But I did want to apologize for the lack in updates the past two weeks. And I want to apologize again for the lack of updates to come. Moving, unpacking and dealing with the bank seems to be taking up more of my time than work ever did. But as stated previously, I won't stop writing. This story will continue. I'm going to see it to its end. Especially since it feels like its end might be coming shortly. I want to see how this plays out just as much as you do. So be patient with me as I struggle with real life for a little while.

To appease you, here is the next chapter. I'm already working on the one after this. So don't fear. You're favorite author is still here.

Cheesy, I know, but I couldn't resist!

Spotofpaint

------------------------

"So what do we do about Webber?" They sat on the only piece of furniture left in their apartment: the couch. They had both agreed it would be best to have a brainstorming session to come up with the best solution. But neither was feeling as confident as they would have liked. Both were geniuses, the best of the best, the top in their fields, but both also felt rusty. Neither had really used their genius for much of anything as of late. Both had been so wrapped up in their newly discovered emotions, that they had been neglecting the one muscle in their bodies that they truly appreciated. Both felt less than adequate. Still, they certainly had to do something. And this was the best way to start.

"Let's explore running, even though it seems like a poor option."

"If we left and Webber came to the apartment, he would find us gone. He would immediately call the police and tell them that Light Yagami and L are alive and in Atlanta. That would initiate the man hunt."

"No matter where we went we wouldn't be left in peace. Once the information of our being alive got to the police, it would then get to the news. The news would report it and soon it would be all over the world. A reward would no doubt be issued. Even if no one knew you were Kira, they would most certainly be after me."

"But are we sure Webber would call the police? What is it that he wants exactly?"

"I suspect it's revenge. I was the one who got him thrown in jail after all. The only conclusion I can draw is that he came all this way to torment me, or hurt me in some way. He wouldn't have wanted to kill me, or he would have simply informed the authorities. They would have strapped me to the electric chair, or given me lethal injection. So then he wants more than my death. I'm afraid…" L glanced Light's way. "…that he may want to finish the job he started when I was twelve. He's possibly feeling incomplete having burned me, but not having completed the rest of his job." Light stiffened. He had thought of that already as well, but hearing it said out loud was somehow much worse.

"Well then giving him what he wants is out of the question…" Silence fell on their shoulders. An angry driver honked his horn outside of the window, causing a second car horn to be blow. Sirens wailed in the distance.

"If he comes to meet us…and we refuse him. He'll inform the police, like any other option we've explored."

"What if we grab his phone first, before he has a chance?"

"And then what Raito-kun? Tie him up? Keep him prisoner?"

"No…" Light hesitated, and then decided to say it anyway. "We could always kill him."

"Yagami-kun!"

"What? What's the big deal? Lawliet he tried to rape you! He fucking deserves it! He deserves worse! He deserves to burn in hell for what he's done! From what you told me, no one will miss him! He's destroyed countless families! He's even broken parole, right?"

"Yes! So the police will be looking for him! If they find a dead body they'll turn it into a murder investigation and they'll come after us all the same! You're mind has been rotting from disuse!"

"No one would find the body."

"Stop it! Stop it Yagami-kun! You're no longer Kira! And you don't have the right to take someone life, no matter how horrible they are! If Webber dies, you'll be condemning us both! Destroy this thought process immediately! I won't stand for it any longer!"

Light let out a small "hmph." Clearly, he wanted Webber dead. He sighed in frustration, and then leaned his arm and elbow on the arm rest of the couch. He rested his chin in his hand as he glared at the wall before him. As far as he was concerned, L was being unreasonable. He was the one who'd been hurt by that bastard, and here he was defending the scum bags life. It was infuriating. Light felt like he was letting Webber get away with it. As if he were saying…it was ok to touch his L and go unpunished.

"I hate the fucking system. How the hell did he get out of jail anyway?" L sighed heavily, his shoulder sagging.

"There wasn't much online and I don't have my usual hacking systems and spy ware. Without my equipment, I found very little. Articles said that he got out early because of good behavior. But with a little digging, I discovered he had family connected to the court systems. I'm suspecting bribery or blackmail…"

"Figures. Way to go legal system. I honestly don't see why you defend it with tooth and nail Lawliet. It screwed you over more than anybody else!" L was quiet. His eyes flickered and he slowly lowered his chin into his knees. Then a thumb was lifted to his mouth. Light saw it and he snarled almost like some sort of rabid beast.

"No! Take that hand away from your mouth! God help you if you bite into those fingers Lawliet!" L blinked, his eyes wide with surprise. But almost immediately, they narrowed in annoyance.

"And what, prey tell, gives you the right to order me around like a soldier?"

"I don't want to see you making yourself bleed! That gives me every right!" L twitched lightly. He seemed to take a moment to process this.

"It seems we're both highly strung at the moment. I understand it's difficult, but let's focus on Webber, instead of each other." Light blushed suddenly. Is that what had taken place? He ran through their brainstorming session thus far. Yes. They had started on Webber, but had quickly moved to Lawliet as the subject after discussing the legal system.

Light's face became even redder still. Was it that hard not to focus on him?

"I think the subject we've been avoiding is that we must play games the way we used too. Trickery must be involved, or we will never escape this unscathed." Light focused his gaze back to L whose eyes were already raised to the ceiling in thought.

"What're you suggesting?" L lifted a hand, waving it at Light to make him shush. Light glowered. He didn't quite appreciate that. But after only a few more seconds, L came back down to earth. "It seems to me that there is very little chance of getting through this without someone getting hurt. I rather that someone be Webber than you or me. So how about this…we make it so that if Webber does talk to anyone, they'll think he's crazy. After all…we're dead. People will be hard pressed to believe him without any proof. There is plenty of proof that we are both dead. Our bodies had been viewed and recorded on the news. The worst they can do is order our bodies dug up. They would of course find empty coffins. But I believe I can take care of that little problem. I still have connections after all. Connections that would never betray me." L lifted his head, looking to Light.

"I believe I have an idea. What if we called the police first?" Light blinked, his brain quickly kicking into gear.

"What purpose?"

"We call in anonymously, saying we've spotted Webber in this general area. We then tell them we witnessed him committing a crime. The police will come and arrest him."

"But then he'll be angry and tell them that we…"

"He won't have any idea who called him in. His face is well known since he was such a famous murderer. His activities around this area are most certainly shady, if not actually crimes. Anyone could call him in. Even if he does suspect that it's us, telling the police about it at such a moment wouldn't serve him well. The police will be hard pressed to believe a serial murderer and rapist about two people who are supposedly dead in an entirely different country. Especially if he was just accused of more crimes. Crimes…which will be odd and slightly eccentric sounding. If Webber starts raving about a dead detective at such a time…no one will believe him. And on the off chance someone does, there's little they can do. We will have been moved by then. If the police ask around, all they'll get is our names. They know nothing special about Light Yagami. And L Lawliet would be coincidental. No one knows my real name but Webber. And the police won't take his word." Light nodded. It sounded right. He wrapped his brain around it, trying to find loopholes, flaws, or any other problem that could get them killed.

"The police wouldn't even question us, since it would be anonymous. We would simply need to be careful to hang up before the line can be traced back to our apartment."

"We would not use the apartment phone. We would use one of the many payphones scattered throughout the city. No chances will be taken."

"Then this plan can be put into effect immediately. The only problem is that we don't know Webber's exact location. The police will start searching for him, but there is a possibility that they won't find him for some time. He could still show up at our apartment."

"We won't be here. After we make the call, we're covered. The police will think him ludicrous once we report his shady actions."

"What guarantees the police will believe a anonymous phone call? What if they think we're the crazy one for concocting some nutty story?"

"Well, we won't be the only callers. I will call, and then you will call. Then I will call again from a different number at a different payphone. Several phone calls will make it seem legitimate. Webber's denials of his actions will only make him appear guiltier. Even if he's found innocent, he will still wind up in jail for several years for violating his parole in such a severe way. Leaving the country is quite condemning to a freshly released inmate."

"And as a precaution, you're going to call your connection in Japan? And what, have skeletons put into our caskets?" L smiled.

"Precisely."

They had little to nothing to pack. They were to leave all of their furniture. What was to be done with it didn't matter to them. Taking care of things properly would only take up time, time that they didn't have. So it would be left to the landlord.

L, as honest as ever when it came to those outside of his business, left the exact amount of money needed for the disposal fees that the landlord would need for their furniture. He also left a calculated weeks rent so the building could spend time cleaning after they left.

Light thought it adorable, but said nothing as they left their first home. Carrying one very small bag each, L and Light left their apartment for the last time. After making their phone calls, they'd be heading straight to the airport on the Marta.

It was very late at night by that time but the streets of Atlanta still seemed alive. There were very few people out due to the dangers of the night life, but there were plenty of cars and traffic. People always had somewhere to go.

Using up some of their only cash, they hailed a taxi. It took them one block away from their first pay phone. After they exited, they began to move down the darkened sidewalk together.

The atmosphere was spooky to say the least. Without anyone out and about on the streets, the world appeared dead. Even the cars whizzing by were few and far between. And when they did come, they did nothing to fill the world with life. They were faceless machines as far as L and Light were concerned.

The street lamps cast an eerie orange glow over the world of glass and concrete making everything monotone. It could have been the start to a horror movie. It was even more so with no sounds penetrating the night with exceptions of far off sirens. The police always seemed to be chasing someone.

Light glanced L's way. They were walking briskly but not quickly enough to call attention to themselves. L was nervous. Light could tell. It was amazing really. Because L didn't look any different than he had back in Japan. Light knew it was true. To any outsider L would appear as stoic and unmoving as ever. But Light had learned to read the cues. They were ever so subtle. Even a professional poker player wouldn't have been able to pick up on them he was sure. Light could just tell. He could tell by the ever so slight difference in L's black orbs.

Seeking to ease his loves fears, Light reviewed the plan one more time.

"Ok Lawliet, the first payphone will be our meeting point. I'll hail a cab and head to the next phone from there. Give me fifteen minutes. I'll call you from the first phone to let you know when I've finished the first call. Then I'll head to the second. You make your call at the same moment I make mine at twelve forty-five. Then, at one o'clock, I'll come back to meet you here at the original payphone."

L nodded as they hurried down the sidewalk, but he didn't respond. In fact, he wasn't even looking Light's way. He kept his gaze fixated straight ahead. Light was feeling a bit jittery himself.

A few minutes later they reached their phone. It was as normal looking as any other payphone in the city. It had three transparent walls housing the small communication device and then a fourth empty panel used for entry. Light ducked inside and checked for the sticker on the side of the little box. There the number rested. He pulled out a piece of scrap paper and copied down the number, which he then shoved into his pocket. Once his task was complete, he stepped back out of the booth and faced a still silent L.

"I'll call with my phone number once I'm at the first booth." L nodded again, but still didn't answer. He found himself wishing that they had kept the cell phones. But they had decided to leave them at the apartment along with all of their other belongings they weren't taking. They couldn't risk calling the phone company to cancel their service and they also couldn't risk brining them with them. It would be an easy way to trace them and find out their new whereabouts. As such, they were forced to rely on the payphones for this brief period that they were away from each other.

L hated it. It made him uneasy. Payphones were less than reliable. He didn't want to trust in one to connect him to Light. In fact, he didn't want to leave Light's side at all. Not during such dire circumstances.

"Remember to make your call to 911 at exactly twelve forty-five," Light reminded. L nodded, remaining silent still. Light gazed at him sadly. He knew how nervous L was and he didn't want to leave him alone. Not for a second. But if their plan was to work, he had to. Light glanced at his watch. It was already getting late.

"I've got to go," he said. "Our watches are synchronized. We'll be fine." He hoped he was at least reassuring L. But L wasn't looking any happier. Making a quick decision, Light reached out and put a comforting hand on L's shoulder. "Hey," he said to get his attention. He waited until L was looking at him to finish. "I'll see you soon. Don't worry." Then, as if it were second nature, Light leaned in and gave L a soft peck on his cheek. L's face reddened. But it was quick and sweet and in only a heartbeat, it was over.

Light turned away, his hand slipping from L's shoulder. L watched as he turned his back on him, his face and expression no longer visible. A stab of panic struck L. It was a terror that came so quickly that he had no control over his sudden actions. He immediately reached out, grabbing Light's hand.

"Raito, wait!" Light froze immediately. L did as well. Not necessarily because L had grabbed him, or because of his cry. After only a second, Light turned and blinked at his partner in surprise.

"Raito?" He asked. The red coloring in L's cheeks spread like a virus and within a second it had enveloped his entire face. His black eyes flickered away to the side and then back to Light's face. Light smiled softly. He turned to face L directly and then came in closer. He gripped L's hand firmly as he stepped up to stand just before his embarrassed partner. "You dropped the kun?" L swallowed harshly, looking truly flustered.

"I…wasn't thinking. It just…came out. But…I…maybe…maybe kun is no longer necessary. I mean…we…we're…" Light couldn't help himself, his grin grew. L looked absolutely marvelous when he was so flustered. He leaned in even closer still, putting his face mere inches from L's.

"Kun hasn't been necessary for a very long time…Lawli." L lifted his dark gaze, his eyes showing surprise at the sudden name.

"Lawli?"

"Well sure. If you get to drop kun, then I get a nickname. Besides, it's cute." L seemed to contemplate it for a moment, his eyes flitting to the side. He didn't quite know how he felt about such a nickname. And he'd certainly had never been called cute before. His insides were all jumbled up and he was feeling quite hot. But…it made him feel good. Light's shortening of his name made it somehow more special. Perhaps because Light was the one who had made it. Gradually, a tiny grin found his thin, pale lips.

"I…I think like it."

"Really? It's not too cheesy? I thought it was waaay too sappy," Light joked. L let out a small whine. He wrenched his hand away from Light.

"You're playing with me! You're the one who came up with it!"

"Ah, so I did. So I guess I'm sappy then." He leaned in even closer, placing his nose a mere inch from L's. L closed his eyes as he felt Light's breath wash over his face. It felt good. Very good. And he had never had such an urge before. But now it was undeniably there. He wanted to be kissed.

The very feeling was overpowering. But L would not give in. He recognized that they were playing a game. A silly game, but a game nonetheless. He wouldn't give Light the satisfaction.

"…you need a mint…" It was a far cry from asking to be kissed and L knew it was his weapon. But instead of looking disappointed, Light's grin only grew.

"Liar…" he whispered. He leaned inward closing the space between them. L thought about resisting only fleetingly. Who cared who won the game? He certainly didn't care. Not if it meant receiving a kiss from his Raito. And so, Light finished the game by placing a soft, lingering kiss upon L's lips. He stayed for just a second, breathing in L's scent, and then he slowly pulled back.

"There, is that better? Can I go now?" L nodded, looking equally as flustered as before, but a bit more satisfied. The fear of letting Light leave his side was now bearable. He had enough courage to sustain him now. Light would be fine. L knew he would see him shortly and in only another half an hour or so. Still…it was hard to let him go. So, as a way of easing the burden, he decided to continue playing.

"You're going to be late Raito. You'll never make it by one o'clock now that you've wasted so much time fooling around."

"Ha!" Light laughed. "You practically _begged_ me to do some fooling!" L's blush quickly returned to his face. He gave Light a quick shove, forcing him backward and away from him.

"Go get a cab you idiot! Before you make us miss our deadline!" Light laughed joyously, seemingly completely unphased by L's so called show of aggression.

"Ok my little Lawli! Whatever you demand!" He mocked.

"Shut up! Go!"

"Yes my queen!"

"Fuck you!" Light laughed again, then finally turned his back on his love and walked off toward the street. L remained by the payphone feeling a huge array of things. He understood most of his swirling emotions now. He recognized his fear of letting Light leave, even for a short time. He recognized the sudden and deep warmth that had been growing in his chest. He knew what it all meant now. He understood perfectly.

_Perhaps I've always known._ He thought. _Maybe I've known since the very day I met him. I knew, even back in Japan…that I had a strange connection to him. Even when he was my suspect I favored him. I wanted to be close…even back then. Even when I was sure he was dangerous, that he wanted to hurt me. Maybe I've always known._

Yes. There was no denying it any longer. There was no way to hide it. He could no longer dress it up or sweep it under the rug using fancy words or false thoughts. The feeling was there. It had been there for quite some time, despite his ignorance in welcoming it.

L knew now, that he loved him.

A cab came. And underneath the orange glow of the streetlights L watched Light climb into the back seat. He watched as the door closed. He watched as Light gave the driver the address he wanted. He watched as Light turned to the window and flashed him a warm and generous smile. He waved. Even as the car started to pull away Light continued to reassure L with his grin. L's heart pounded as both of his hands rose to his chest. There, they curled into tight fists where he clutched his beating heart.

He had a sudden urge to tell him. He wanted to shout it, scream to Light that he loved him before the car disappeared completely. But his voice wouldn't work and the car was already halfway down the road.

Even when that same fear started to rise in his gut, he watched in silence. The farther Light pulled away, the deeper his fear grew. L tried to keep a cap on it. But once the glowing red taillights disappeared around the corner…it was very hard. His small frame let off a tremble, and with a gasp of breath he found his lost voice.

"…I love you." But since Light was unable to hear, the car already gone and completely out of sight, L whispered it to the empty space around him. No one was there to hear his words. Only the wind, which howled mournfully around the corners of the buildings that towered over his small form.


	21. Missing

**Author's Note:** Remember, everything that's in bold is being spoken in Japanese.

Also, there will be no updates next week because my grandparents have fallen ill. My aunt and uncle have been generous enough to offer to buy me a plane ticket so I can fly to Florida and help them out with Grandma and Grandpa. But I will not be getting back to Atlanta until Saturday, and then I'm afraid I'm busy that weekend. As stated earlier, my life is upside down at the moment. I'm slowly trying to piece it back together. But no worries. God's going to help me out. I always write whenever I can. Until I return, hopefully this chapter will feed you…or drive you mad. Whichever.  Happy reading.

Spotofpaint

--------------------

The wind cried. L had always thought that it was one of the loneliest sounds on all the earth. It was lonelier than the single crow that called in winter. It was lonelier than the muffled silence that followed death. Yes, the wind by far, took the prize. It was the same in every country, in every land. In every hotel he stayed in it had followed him. It wound its way around the corners of buildings, whispering it's mourning in sleeping ears.

The streets were silent and empty. L was the only one to listen to such cries. It made him feel hollow. He ignored the winds whispers. He'd learned long ago not to pay it any attention. If he did, it would settle inside his soul. And this was not a time where he could afford that.

He glanced at the watch Light had leant him. He didn't wear it on is wrist, but instead kept it in his pocket. It was a digital and its glowing blue face told him that it was twelve thirty. He pushed it back down into his jeans. Another fifteen minutes and he would need to make his call to the police. Light would call before then with his pay phone number.

L tried to keep himself somewhat entertained. But it was difficult. There was little to look at. The orange glow cast by the street lamp just next to the phone booth shed eerie shadows over the sidewalk and street. It made everything seem warped.

_At least it's warm out…_He thought. The summer months were just starting to come to an end. L suspected it would already be much cooler upstate New York than it was here in Atlanta. Atlanta was still hot and humid. The air always seemed to be wet.

_It might be nice to have crisper air._ L shifted around in his pocket. He grabbed the watch again. He pulled it out but didn't look at it. It had only been a minute. Light would call soon.

L waited. It was quiet. Almost agitating so. His ears were ringing. L lifted his pointer finger to his lips. He wanted to chew on it…but recalled how upset Light had become the last time he tried to do so. Light had said he didn't want to see him bleed. L lowered his finger, having not bitten it at all.

He looked at the watch again a few minutes later. It was twelve forty-two. L knew Light must have been at his payphone by then. Perhaps it had been inoperational and he had to find a new one quickly. He would have called otherwise.

_Maybe he forgot._ But that didn't seem right. Light wouldn't have forgotten. Not after all they had been going through lately. Not after the goodbye they had shared. He wouldn't have forgotten. Surely there was some sort of problem with the phone.

Confident that Light would figure something out, L picked up the receiver to his own phone at twelve forty-five. He called the police and delivered the story that he and Light had worked out together. It only took a few moments and when he was done it was twelve fifty.

Light would find a second payphone, make the third call and then come back. L was sure that the first phone had some sort of issue. Surely Light would call when he reached the second phone. L knew he'd call with apologies. He'd explain the issue that kept him from calling the first time. L new he'd make some sort of joke. L would laugh.

L smiled just thinking about it. The simple things made him happy. They were so easy, yet so enjoyable. Yes. Light would call before one.

L waited. He tried not to look at the watch too often. It slowed time down to be watched while it worked. But it was growing more difficult to stand still. L admitted that he was now feeling quite anxious. This was an important part in their plan. If it were messed up, it would be more difficult to get away from Webber safely.

He looked at the watch despite his determination not too. Twelve fifty six. Well it was too late for a call now. Light was probably in the cab heading back to their meeting place. In order to get back by one, he'd have to start traveling now if he hadn't already started doing so.

So L waited some more. He glanced at his watch very frequently after that. Twelve fifty seven. Twelve fifty eight. Twelve fifty nine. He watched as each minute passed by. Light would be back at one. That's what he told himself.

The digital numbers on the face all changed simultaneously. It now read one o'clock. L looked up expectantly as if the designated time were magic and would be able to teleport Light to his location. His eyes drifted to the end of the street.

_Why didn't he call?_ He wondered anxiously. L didn't like deferring from plans. Especially in a situation where he and Light needed to split up.

_He must realize that I would worry. Of course he does. He knows…_his thought process trailed off as headlights appeared at the end of the road. A car came into view. L's heart leapt, but within only a few seconds he saw that it was not a cab. His heart plummeted even more deeply than the place it had started. It was a blue Toyota. The car whizzed by L without a second thought and then out of sight behind another building.

L looked to his watch. One o'four. His heart started to pound a little faster. L could no longer deny the anxiety that was starting to fill him. He did not like that Light was late.

_I'll need to give him a talk about responsibility._ He thought. But L knew he was just fooling himself. He only thought that to keep away the fear that was starting to prickle at his fingertips. Something could have happened. Webber could have happened. Or a number of other things. He could have been hit by a car. Robbed, beaten, left for dead. It was a city after all, and they were out and about during its most dangerous hours. Light was alone at a phone booth. Easy pray.

_No! Don't think like that! He's fine! He's late because of some unforeseen event! That's all!_ L was sure that was all it was.

But time continued to move forward despite L's growing stress levels. It moved to one ten, and then ticked on to one fifteen.

_He's fifteen minutes late…_ It was dreadful. L tried to make himself angry. He told himself that Light was playing some sort of cruel joke. He tried to ignite some sort of flame inside of him that would keep the fear away but…it didn't work. The fear took him. It took him possessively. It reached out from inside of his heart and wrapped its hands around his slender neck. It cut off his air supply and made it very difficult to breathe, especially after his breath had picked up pace.

One twenty.

L knew Light never would have been this late. Not for anything unless something had happened. Something had prevented him from coming back. Even a joke wouldn't have been prolonged this long.

L's chest tightened as his breathing became almost frantic. The fear was taking over. He tried to suppress it, but it was next to impossible. He couldn't do anything. He didn't know which payphone Light had gone too. He couldn't leave to go look for him. In most likelihood, Light would come back while he was out searching and then think that L was the one in trouble. No…the best solution was to wait.

But for how long?

L looked to his watch. One thirty His breathing hitched. L knew what this meant. Half an hour was far too much time. Light had never called. It meant that something had happened around twelve thirty. That was an hour ago. Light had been missing for over an hour. That meant there was little chance he'd come back now. L's wide and wild eyes scanned the road for what seemed like the hundredth time.

_What do I do? Was he taken? Was it Webber? Should I go back to the apartment? Are they waiting for me there?_ L started to tremble. _Raito…_

Hoping beyond all hope that Light would simply return with some horrific story about a burning building or a mugging, L remained at his post. He stayed deep into the night. He paced, his fear turning into desperation.

Then at one forty, he grew tired of standing. He went into the phone booth. He got down onto the ground. He tucked in his legs and sandals, curling up into his usual position just beneath the telephone. He wrapped his arms around his legs and rested his chin on his knees.

_Raito please…please come back…_He had no idea what to do with his terror. He couldn't call the police. He had no one to turn to for help. He had only himself. And he was quite aware that he was rather useless at the moment. So he curled up more tightly. He buried his face into his jeans. He clutched the fabric tightly, desperately. Panic overtook him. He started to rock lightly. The silence of the night pressed in all around him. The wind whispered horrific possibilities in his ear. L tried to shut it all out. But it was nearing two o'clock. The chances of Light being all right were falling quickly and rapidly. He kept track of the percentages in his head. When it fell beneath forty percent, he let out a small cry.

_Please be ok. Please…What would I do without you? What would I be worth? I'd be worth nothing! Nobody wants me. Nobody but you. You're the only one. The only one who looks at me. The only one who…_The phone rang.

L jumped suddenly, the top of his head banging violently into the bottom of the phone box above him. He let out a cry of pain as a hand flew to his mess of black hair. It stung quite lividly. His heart pounded from the sudden scare.

The phone rang a second time. L's entire being lurched. He scrambled wildly out from under the box and to his feet. He was so crazed that his first grab at the phone missed entirely. The second managed to fumble it. It was knocked off of the receiver and it then went bungee jumping, only its chord saving it from smashing into the pavement.

Heart pounding in his throat, and pale palms sweaty and slick, he managed to grab the phone on his third try. He jammed the black plastic up against his ear, and practically eating the receiver he cried,

"Raito! Raito! Where the hell are you?" Light didn't answer within half of a heartbeat and so L screamed even more shrilly. "Answer me!" Another second passed. And then dark, jagged and malicious laughter filled L's receiver. His black eyes widened slowly, the dark rims around his eyes deepening into thick wrinkles. He knew that laugh, and would recognize it anywhere and in any situation. That laugh had plagued him in the darkness of his nights.

"Webber…" Webber continued to laugh, clearly very pleased with himself.

"Oh yes little L. It's me. And I'm afraid your pretty lover has been detained at my residence. I have your precious Raito-kun."

L's heart stopped beating. The terror he felt was so complete he thought for certain that he would die. Or if not, he would at least faint. His joints had certainly grown weak enough. He stumbled. His joints failed him and he collapsed to his knees within the booth. Speechless, Webber continued.

"I put him in a chair, so he'd be comfortable. I took off his socks and shoes too. Isn't it Japanese custom to remove them at the door? I thought I'd respect the cultural differences between us." L's breathing hitched. He clutched the phone in desperation, his knuckles white from blood loss. His voice would not work for him.

"I thought I might do a little ironing while he's here. What do you think L?"

"_No!" _L screamed. "Don't touch him! Don't you fucking touch him!" Webber's cold jagged laughter filled the little glass phone booth, rattling its unsteady windows along with L's bones.

"It seems I can do whatever I like cupcake." L sank even further to the ground, his trembling body refusing to support his slight weight. He squeezed his eyes shut. His breathing came more quickly and it was audible over the other end as he gasped in terror.

"Awww…wittle Waliet is scawed?" Webber mocked him harshly. "Come on L, you've handled hundreds of hostage situations before, haven't you? What's one more? Why don't you do it like you used too? Why don't you talk me down in that uncaring, cold way of yours? Reason with me. Use that massive brain of yours inside that fluffy head of hair and trick me into letting your boyfriend go. I know you can. I've seen you trick plenty of other lowlifes just like me."

L wheezed. His chest was tight. It was simply too difficult to draw in a breath of air. He knelt at the base of the phone, the hard light in the roof of the booth pouring harshly across his hunched back. Hunched over in his cube, he appeared to be one, white, glowing figure in a mass of surrounding darkness. One hand clutched the phone like a vice; the other was pressed to the ground for support.

He struggled to remember his training. He struggled to remember the steps he knew were in his mind. What was the first step in a hostage negotiation again? He couldn't remember. He couldn't remember anything. All he could think of was Light. Light's expression as he leaned in to kiss him. The way his eyes softened when he saw L was in pain. That smile he got when he was truly happy about something. The way he laughed. The way he carried himself. His attitude. His superiority complex. His very scent.

L felt his heart falter. It failed him for a brief second. It was not imaginary…it had actually hurt. The hand he had been using to support himself went to his chest. He clutched it tightly.

"Let him go!" He knew it had been the wrong thing to say. He knew a negotiator was never suppose to show just how much he cared for the hostage. But this was all impossible. His desperation was clear. Besides, Webber already knew.

"No. I don't think I will."

"_Let him go!_" L cried a second time.

"Hmm…not really up to your usual standards, are you? I expected more that this. You disappoint me L. Well well, I guess I'll help you out since you seem to have no idea what you're doing. So listen up. I'm going to give you an address. I want you to appear at that address in no less than an hour. Once all three of us are together, we'll discuss our future relationship." Webber chuckled darkly. "Clearly, the usual rules apply. No cops. Don't bring anyone. Come alone. Don't bring any weapons. Don't call anyone. Don't tell anyone. If you do anything I don't like at all…you're pretty Raito-kun's feet will become as smooth as yours. Do you understand my sweet little cupcake?" L nodded quite fiercely, but then he realized that Webber could not see him.

"Y…yes," he stuttered. L swallowed harshly. His throat had closed up. He still managed to squeak out a few words. The only thing he could think of at all…was making sure Light was ok. "P…put Light on…" he mumbled.

"What was that? You're stuttering sweetness. You want me to turn Light on?"

"No!" A shudder so violent came through his arms that the phone started to rattle against his head. L lifted his second hand, struggling to steady it so he could hear. Webber was just toying with him. He knew this.

"Put Light on the phone! So…so I know you actually have him and that he's ok!" Webber let out a snort.

"That's the only thing you said right this whole time. All right, I'm going to hold the phone up to his face. You have three minutes." There was a bit of scuffling on the other end as the phone was shifted. L waited the few seconds it took with torture in his heart. It was the longest few seconds of his life.

_Please…just let me hear his voice. Let me hear…_

"Lawliet?" L's heart leapt. That was Raito. That was his voice. And he sounded fine. He didn't even sound like he was in pain, or even frightened.

"Raito! Are you ok? Has he hurt you? Tell me you're all right! I'm coming! I'm coming to get you! Don't worry! Please don't be afraid! I can handle it! I can! Just stay still and don't make him angry! I know you Raito! You'll want to argue, but don't! He'll want to provoke you, but don't listen! Let his words bounce off of you. Don't let him harass you! Ok? You must promise me Raito! Promise me you won't loose your temper! Please! Promise you'll…"

"Hey hey hey! Shhhh…" L fell silent as he listened to Light's calming tones. Light seemed perfectly in control. He seemed perfectly capable of almost anything. His steady attitude in turn steadied L.

"**Listen Lawliet…I'm fine. He hasn't touched me, he hasn't hurt me and he won't. Ok? He won't because he's not interested in me. You were right, he talks a lot. I've learned a lot simply sitting here and listening to him. Watching him, I've seen that he doesn't really want anything to do with me. Ok?" **L nodded quickly. It was comforting. It was amazingly soothing to hear Light speak in Japanese. The words rolled off his tongue easily, like water. It sounded smooth in his mouth. His native tongue was eloquent. And it was the language they both spoke when they had met. It smoothed his nerves.

"**Listen carefully. I don't know how much longer he'll let me talk in Japanese, he seems to be getting tense…so listen. When we hang up, I want you to call Watari. Watari has worked with you a long time, most of your life. He knows the ins and outs of these things and you're just not rational enough to make decisions right now. Ok? Give him the address Webber is about to give to you. Explain to him our situation. Ask him what to do. He'll be able to help us, even though he's not in America. Ok?"** L nodded again, even though Light couldn't see him…he just knew that Light was aware of his actions.

"**And Lawliet? If all else fails, call the police. Because we can always run. We can run forever. I wouldn't mind. We can move every week to another country. As long as we're together it's ok. As long as this lunatic doesn't hurt you…we're ok. Alright? We'll be fine…"**

"Hey kid, quit it, alright? You can say your sweet nothing's in English. It's nothing I haven't heard before anyway. Say whatever you want, but I want to be able to understand it. I don't want you calling me nasty names behind my back now do I?" Light glowered. He was very tempted to do just that…but he promised L he wouldn't. He would have to keep his tongue in check. If he got himself punched in the mouth, L would be the one to worry about it. Light knew he could take a good licking and keep going. Especially if he got the satisfaction of saying a thing or two to Webber. But L would be crushed if he were beaten. He'd blame himself. And Light would never have that.

"Lawliet, I'm fine. Ok? Try to calm down and use your brain. I'll see you soon…" Light glanced at Webber. He decided to take the chance. He had to say it, and he wouldn't let it be poisoned by Webber's understanding. He wouldn't have it mocked. Not after he had worked so hard to finally get it.

"**I love you Lawli."** L let out a crushed laugh at the use of that ludicrous nickname. He knew Light was just trying to lighten the mood and make him feel better. It had worked to a degree, and L knew he would play along if only for the sake of making Light think that it was working. It would make Light feel better if he thought L was handling things more easily.

"**Where did you even come up with such a ridiculous nickname?"**

"**What? Don't you know? You're a genius! Don't make me explain it."**

"**So you shortened my name. You don't get any points for creativity."**

"**Oh yes I do. Because Lawli also sounds similar to lolli in English. And that's a slang term for a lollipop, isn't it?" **L let out another crushed laugh.

"**So it is. But should I be disturbed to as the reason behind you thinking of me as a lollipop?" **Light blushed furiously on the other end. He had certainly not expected L to make a dirty joke at a time like this. Then again…he never expected L to make a dirty joke ever. Or…maybe it hadn't been dirty at all. Maybe his mind was just in the gutter.

"**You're a pervert Lawliet. I originally meant that you were sweet. And it's also a reference to all that junk you eat."**

"**Used to eat."**

"**Yes. But I guess it has four meanings now. You're the one who made up the last reason. Perv."**

"**I said nothing. You're the one who immediately jumped into the gutter Raito."**

"**Maybe, but you're not really arguing against it." **Light smiled, his cheeks still quite red. **"Wanna be my Lolli?" **L's entire face began to glow as he felt heat rise into his skin. His heart gave off a little jump.

"Hey! Kid! I told you no more Japanese! If you're talking dirty to your boy toy, I wanna _hear _it!" Light glowered, but this time he complied. He couldn't risk being struck. Not when L was on the other line.

"Lawliet, I have to go. But remember what I said. I'll see you soon."

"**Ok Raito…"** L hesitated, remembering the fact that he had still failed to tell Light that he loved him. Panic hit him. Needing Light to hear it before they were separated again, he shouted, "I love you!"

But it was a cold laugh that greeted his ears, not Light's silky voice. L had shouted it too late.

"Aww, well isn't that charming?" L stiffened, embarrassment flooding him as he realized he had shouted those special words to the last man on earth he ever wanted to hear them. This fact somehow hurt. "Look cupcake, you got your little phone conversation, now I want you to do as you're told. Come to the address I'm about to give you. When you get here, we're going to have a rocking time. Got that?"

Despite Webber's promises, L felt much calmer. After having spoken to Light, he had regained some of his lost control. He slowly stood back up, rising to his feet. He felt ready to handle things now. Light would be all right. What he said was true. Webber didn't want Light. He wanted L. It meant Light would be safe from most of the atrocities L was dreaming up. Straightening up as much as his crooked back would allow, L held the phone loosely to his ear.

"Yes. I understand," he said in tones he used to use long ago. "What's the address?"


	22. Hostage

**Author's Note:** Ok, I'm back. I know it's been a long wait. It's been so for me too. But after we moved my grandparents into a nursing home, all sorts of other things happened. I got back to Atlanta, and my Mom and Sister wanted to visit. Instead of having a pleasant visit, it turned into a fiasco. Needless to say, I was unable to handle the stress of everything that has been happening all at once. My body rebelled and I grew terribly sick just after they left. I couldn't even get out of bed, not to mention sit at my computer for an extended period of time. So that killed another week.

Anyway, I recovered, and I also had a lot of time to think about and revise my life. I've decided that freelance work would probably be much better for me than another office job. So if you or anyone you know is interested in hiring a freelance graphic artist, illustrator, cartoonist, or fine artist, please please please send me a message. I'm just starting out and it's really difficult to get clients.

Anyway, moving onto the story. Again, this is a strong reminder that this story is now rated "M" for mature readers only. Webber is not a nice character. I do not sensor or restrain my villains. They do what they want just like all my other characters. The following chapter has very suggestive dialogue.

------------------

The ropes that tied Light's wrists together and also to the back of the chair were tight. He already discovered that there'd be no way to wiggle out of them. He'd already tried. They wouldn't loosen either, no matter how hard he pulled or strained. Webber was an expert at this sort of thing.

_Sick bastard! _Light could scarcely even think of all the children he had bound in this manner. The man had years of experience in tying knots. _I'll have to think of something else._

Light was in a basement. But unlike a twelve-year-old L, Light knew exactly where he was. He was on the outskirts of the city in one of the many abandoned houses in a ghetto-like area. Apparently, abandoned houses made a breeding ground for criminals and thieves. What better a place to hold someone captive? What better a place to reenact a murder that could have taken place many years ago?

Light knew from Webber's constant babbling that L had been right. Webber wanted to finish what he started when L was a child. All the signs were obvious: he'd taken Light into a basement, he tied him in the same manner he had once tied all of his previous victims, and he'd even gone through the trouble of finding an iron. None of the other burning tools L mentioned in his story were present. Light supposed Webber simply didn't have the time. Or…he was too impatient. Whatever the reason, it didn't matter. What did matter was that Light had precious little time to get himself free.

He knew L would come. He hoped, wished and prayed that he wouldn't, but he knew in his heart that he would. Light hoped L had called Watari as he had instructed. Watari would talk L out of coming. Or he would at least try. L coming to this place was the worst thing he could do. Giving Webber what he wanted was not an option. And if L came…Webber would take it, and then they'd both be killed.

Giving up on loosening his ropes, Light lifted his head and gazed around his surroundings. Webber was currently out of the room at the moment. It was the only peace and quiet Light could get. He talked nonstop. It was agitating and it was hard to think with him around. Especially…because of the subject of his banter. All he talked about was L. Light knew he was obsessed. He was obsessed with the one that had gotten away. He was obsessed with his failure to complete the mission he set for himself over thirteen years ago. Light knew he was crazy. Even more crazy than L. Even more crazy than himself.

_I have to get out of here before L comes. I have to stop him. He won't listen to Watari. And unless Watari comes up with some brilliant plan, L's going to be here by the end of the hour._ Webber had given L a deadline. If L wasn't at the house by three, Webber promised to burn Light. Light knew that was more than enough incentive to get L moving. Light prayed Watari had done something to deter his love from coming.

Light scanned the room for something, anything he could use. There wasn't much. There was a pile of junk in the corner, old lawn chairs that had been abandoned with the house. There were some citronella candles, golf clubs, ping-pong paddles, a pool stick and some camping equipment.

Light focused on the camping gear. People often packed knives when going camping to help cut rope and things of that nature. Or if not…there may be utensils in the bag he was focusing on. He saw a pot handle sticking out of it. If he were lucky…

But his chair was positioned several feet away from his desired area. Light was sure he could get over to it if he had the time. But his efforts would be noisy, and Webber was just upstairs. Doing what he wasn't sure. Light's eyes narrowed. He had to try.

Light had just about been ready to shift his weight in order to get his chair to hop to the right when he heard the door upstairs open. Webber's feet thunked on the wooden planked staircase as he started to descend once more.

An awful, terrible noise filled the basement. Light realized that it was Webber. He was singing. His low and garbled voice carried a demented and tormenting tune through the small concrete basement. It was like an assault on Light's ears. Horrible in everyway, Light suddenly heard the lyrics that Webber was massacring.

"It's the good ship, lollipop it's a sweet trip to a candy shop…" Light's almond eyes widened. He did not know the classic American song. But he understood its relevance immediately. "…where bonbons play, on the sunny beach of peppermint bay!" Light glared. Webber was finding all sorts of new ways to piss him off. Light's teeth ground together, but he dared not say a word. He promised L.

"See the sugar bowl, do the tootsie roll, with the big bad devils food cake! If you eat too much ooh ooh, you'll awake with a tummy ache!" The childish lyrics seemed even more warped and twisted coming from such a large and obviously middle-aged man. Light felt his stomach turn. It was not hard to hear the ways Webber perverted a once innocent song. Light tried not to think of L while this horrid song was being sung. He tried not to think of his love for sweets.

Webber was carrying a bag with him. He set it down on the cold concrete floor as he sang, or rather, croaked. He opened it up and pulled out some rope. He then went back into the bag and pulled out some duct tape. Then he pulled out a blindfold. Then a gag.

"On the good ship lollipop, it's a night trip into bed you'll hop…" Light felt nauseous. His insides squirmed at the reference to bed. Webber's voice was pounding in his skull. He couldn't take such lyrics anymore. Not after he'd just discussed his reasoning behind Lawliet's new nickname. The comparisons between L and lollipops was beginning to become too much to handle.

"Dream away, on the good ship lollipop!"

"_Shut the fuck up!_" Light screamed. Webber did indeed stop his song. He leisurely rose from his place in front of his bag. He stood tall, embracing his entire intimidating height. Slowly he turned, fixating his beady eyes on Light. A gradual, cruel, gleeful smile grew on his face.

"But Light, I'm singing about lollipops! You like lolli's too, don't you?" Light's rage was unprecedented. Even with his feet tied to the chair legs, he struggled to stand. Even if he was tied, he would find a way to kick this mans ass!

"You fucking psychopath! I'll kill you! I'll fucking kill you!" His struggles became so severe, so fierce, that his chair let out a deafening CRACK! The splintering sound gave Light even more encouragement. He kept fighting, struggling for freedom.

Webber didn't seem phased in the least. He walked over to Light very calmly, and then stopped in front of him. He watched Light struggle for only a second, and then he lifted his hand.

CRACK!

He backhanded Light so hard that he knocked the entire chair over. Light went careening to the floor where he landed with a hard and painful THUD! He lay on his side, his arm painfully pinned beneath him underneath the chair. He did not cry out. Webber would get no such satisfaction from him.

"Why don't you just accept it Light? L is going to be mine. The greatest detective in the world. He will bow to my mercy. I will make my mark. I will make it so that I am the greatest. No one can stop me. Not even L was able to stop me. That makes me the most powerful man on earth." His beady eyes began to glow with a look of utter excitement. Light's own eyes widened. He recognized that look. That was a look of greed. Webber was greedy for power.

Light realized then that there were many motives in this situation. Not only did Webber want revenge, not only did he feel a need to take care of an unfinished victim, but he also had a need to be powerful. He felt a strong yearning to be dominating, to exercise his power over someone else. Light knew that look because…he had once worn it himself.

Light knew then that L was in much bigger trouble than he originally thought. The threat was the same: rape and murder. But now…now Light knew that there would be torture as well. Webbers face told him everything. He wanted L to suffer as horribly as he could make him. God only knew what that meant. God only knew what kind of sick things Webber had planned.

Light's fury was gone. It was replaced with desperation.

_I have to get free! I have to stop this!_ Light knew he had to hurry. If L arrived and he was still tied, he'd be completely unable to help him.

_Don't be stupid L. Don't come!_ But there was no argument. L would come. Light knew it. And Webber knew it too. Light looked desperately to the camping equipment once more. He blinked. He was closer to it. After Webber had struck him, he had fallen a few feet closer. Light's mind reeled. That was the way. That was how he'd get close without calling attention to it. That was the way he'd be able to work without Webber noticing. Light glanced up at Webber. He was still smiling.

"We're not in a public place anymore Light. Do you want to know what I did to your precious boyfriend?" Light allowed is anger to rekindle. This was one situation where he could use it to his advantage. Not only would he get the satisfaction of talking back, but it would actually serve a purpose.

"Shut your ugly face Webber!" But Webber's grin did not falter.

"You can be as mad as you want. I'm still going to get my way. I almost had my way last time. Do you want the details?"

"Go to hell!"

"Already there my little Japanese friend. And guess what? It's full of lollipops!" He chuckled; his laugh was hard and as jagged as his face. "I'm going to tell you whether you want to hear it or not. L put up quite a fight. He was the fiercest and most determined of all the boys. But he was also the smallest and most fragile. He was easy to over power. Still…I enjoyed that he tried." Heat surged through Light's body. It was a hot wave of both pain and fury. He wanted to shut Webber's mouth. In order to do that, and move on with his plan, he knew he had to make him angry. It wasn't hard to unleash his fury.

"Shut your hole you pig! What kind of freak gets his kicks from little boys! You're demented! You're a fucking nut case!"

"Ah so I am. But it was worth it. Once I got his shirt off, I understood much more about him. He was much thinner than I thought, much paler. He was almost sickly. I knew immediately then that the taskforce was abusing him. I knew he'd been hurt. I knew he was suffering. He was frail…weak…lonely. He was already a victim. So I knew he'd know exactly how to play the part I wanted. He was so tender looking. Tender…just for me…"

To hell with the plan. Light needed Webber to suffer. He needed him to suffer for ever even thinking of describing his L in such a lurid way. Webber was standing very close. Light tried to think of a way he could kick him, bite him, anything. But he couldn't move. So he started to struggle again. He wrestled with his bonds furiously, pressure and heat rising to the back of his eyes.

"You sick freak! You fucking bastard!" Webber was gazing off into the distance now, his eyes aglow with remembrance. Clearly he was not in the present time.

"He wore such a cool little face the entire time. He seemed calm and in control. But once I unbuttoned his pants…he dropped the façade. I had the honor of watching those black eyes grow large. He understood exactly what I was going to do to him." Light let out a scream. He lurched his body, trying his best to work the chair he was in. It gave, granting him another loud CRACK. Light knew the chair would splinter if he managed to get enough force behind it. It was weakening.

The sound of creaking wood snapped Webber out of his daydream. His attention went to Light. A deep scowl came over his face.

"Didn't I tell you to _stop that!_" His shoe was brought back. Light braced himself. Pain exploded in his side. But it did just as he hoped. Webber kicked him backward, sliding the chair another foot. The camping equipment was close at Light's back. Only a few more feet. The pain in his mid-section kept him from continuing the fight. He was forced to stand down for at least a moment as he gasped for air.

Webber's glare softened as he seemed to become more satisfied. He headed back over to his bag of tricks. He knelt down in front of it, his back to Light.

"Our little cupcake will be here shortly. We want to be ready for him." Webber grabbed the things from up off the floor, then stood back up. He surveyed the room. "He's older now. I'm going to have to tie him down. I won't have as easy a time and I certainly don't want to end up getting kicked in the face." He seemed to be searching for a place to tie L. He discovered some pipes on the other side of the basement. He started over to them, passing Light as he did so.

"Of course, I'm going to be much more satisfied this time around. You can watch if you want kid." Light glanced over his shoulder. If the equipment was behind him, then he might be able to slide himself toward it. He tried to wiggle a bit. Having his feet tied was a big obstacle. He tried not to grumble.

He had a bit of free movement with his knees. And since he was lying on his side, one of them was against the floor. Light hoped it would be enough to get him moving. He tried pushing against the floor, but this didn't do much. He tried to maneuver it in a different way.

"I see you struggling over there. There's no point. You're not going anywhere Light." Webber started wrapping the rope around the pipe, securing it tightly. He let its ends hang loose once he was finished, perfect for tying someone's wrists.

"Did you know L's very sensitive Light? I mean, most children are, but L was especially so. I suspect it had to do with his isolation and the abuse he suffered. Whatever the reason…he was like putty in my hands. With just one gentle touch he was gasping for air." Light squeezed his eyes shut. He needed to get Webber to kick him again. More importantly, he needed to get Webber to shut up. He couldn't take anymore. His eyes were burning. He dared not let the tears loose. He held them back out of sheer will.

What made a man like Webber angrier than anything? Light strained. A man like Webber. Light was aware of the shocking similarities between Kira and Webber. Kira Light understood. Webber had the same lust for power and dominance. The thing that made Kira the angriest…was when his power was in jeopardy. When his dominance was questioned. Light tried to think of a way to do that while tied to a chair lying on the floor. Words. He had to use words.

"Do you really think you can get away with all of this Webber?" Webber kept his back to Light as he started inspecting his duct tape.

"Of course. You and L are already dead. I can do anything I want to you. No one will come looking. No one will care."

"Not that idiot! I mean L! You don't know anything about him now that he's grown up do you? He's a lot stronger than that! You won't be able to just…just…nab him like when he was a kid. When he comes, he'll come with a plan. You're the one who's going to end up dead!" Webber glared over his shoulder in seeming frustration.

"Well then I'll just have to shoot you. Won't I?" He reached into his pants, pulling out a thirty-five caliber. "Shame. You sure are a pretty boy. I wish I'd met you when you were a child. But it's too late now. L picked a nice boyfriend. Course, I take credit for making him gay in the first place. You should thank me. If I didn't mess him up so bad he might not have ever cared for you." He cocked the gun, but it was clear he wasn't going to be killing Light right now. He still needed him as bait. If L came and found Light dead, he'd try to run. Webber knew that as long as Light was alive…he could get L to cooperate to a degree. After inspecting the gun, he shoved the gun back into his pants.

"You think you're so slick Webber. But you're nothing but a screw up. L's a genius."

"Yeah. That didn't seem to do him any good last time. The only reason he got away is because his little friends came to get him. But this time, we both know that won't be happening. He's in hiding. He has no more connections. He's as good as live bait." Webber grinned. "And I'm the shark."

There was suddenly a banging on the door from upstairs. Both men froze. They stopped arguing and listened. A few seconds went by, and then another banging came. It was someone pounding on the front door. The grin of a rattlesnake came to Webber's lips as Light's heart stopped.

_No Lawliet! You fool! _

"Yes! My little cupcake has come home! Now stay right there Light, I'll be back in no time with our little L!" He started laughing quite deranged, like a total mad man. Overjoyed with the arrival of his pray, Webber hurried up the stairs and out of the basement, leaving Light to panic on the concrete floor.


	23. In The Basement

Webber stopped at the top of the basement stairs at took out his gun. He wasn't as much of a fool as Light Yagami thought he was. He had already considered the possibility that L wasn't the one at the door. It could always be some plot or plan. Although, Webber couldn't think of a single person L could get to help him in a situation like this. Not after faking his own death. He couldn't get help from the police that was for sure. And any other authorities would be just as bad. He also no longer had his millions of dollars to throw around. He couldn't have hired someone. He was worse off than your average Joe.

Still, it was L he was dealing with. Surely there was some sort of plot or scheme. In fact, Webber was counting on it. It would be all the more satisfying once Webber saw through his little ideas and broke him.

So he walked across the threshold of the empty and rotting living room and over to the front door where the knocks had come from. Gun in hand; he positioned himself just beside the door.

"Who is it?" He hollered.

"Who do you think?" That was L's voice. But Webber was still wary. It could be a tape recorder or something, held by someone else. He decided to ask a question that L couldn't have possibly have been prepared for. Or if he was, he'd have to skip forward on the tape. If there were a hesitation, Webber would know it was a trick.

"What did I use to burn victim number twelve?"

"Acid. Hydrochloric acid. Let me in Webber." Webber nodded. It was L. He carefully opened the door just a crack, shoving the barrel of the gun out of it and toward the man standing on the doorstep. Webber glanced over the top of his gun and saw just what he wanted.

There L stood. Hunched, in his plain white shirt, both hands shoved uncomfortably in his pockets. He gazed magnetically at Webber through the offered crack in the door. He looked angry, tough even. The gun did not faze him at all.

Webber liked that. He immediately felt aroused. It would be good to break him of that confidence. It would be so much better to strip him of that anger and self-assurance rather than to have him already scared and defeated.

Webber quickly checked around L, scanning the area for signs of other life. He didn't see anyone.

"Did you tell anyone? Bring anyone?"

"No. I wouldn't toy with Raito's life. Let me in." Webber grinned erratically.

"Eager are we? Fine." He pulled open the door, but kept the gun fixated on L's head. "If you try anything funny, anything at all, or if I find any bugs or hear anything suspicious, I'll blow off your head. Understand?"

"You wouldn't kill me before you had a chance to have me…don't pretend otherwise." L stepped inside the door rather calmly. He seemed collected, in control. Much like he did when he was twelve. Webber tried to keep his urges under wraps. It wasn't time yet. Webber closed the door behind him.

"Maybe I would kill you. Maybe I would and I'd be satisfied fucking your lifeless body. Ever think of that?"

"That wouldn't satisfy you. You can't inflict pain on the dead. So why don't we drop the charade and you can show me where Light is?" Webber hesitated, and then smiled. He slowly lowered his gun.

"Ah, so you're right. But you realize once we go downstairs, the threats become pinpointed on your precious boyfriend. If you do something funny, or something I don't like, I'll blow off _his_ head. You know that's true. Don't you?"

"Yes…hence why I'm here. May I see him now?" Webber's grin remained.

"So polite. You haven't changed much from when you were a boy."

"I don't care for this chit-chat. Let me see Light." Webber's smile faded and a look of annoyance came over his face. Clearly he had been enjoying their conversation.

"Well you're not here for what _you_ care for now are you? You'll do as _I_ say and as _I_ want! So if I want to talk to you before I fuck you I fucking _can!_" L didn't flinch or falter as Webber yelled. He stood silently, his face as stony as ever. He was silent for several seconds. Then finally said,

"Fine. What do you want to talk about?" For some reason, Webber wasn't prepared for this question. He faltered.

"I…uh…" L waited patiently, giving the crazed gunman as much time as he wanted. But then suddenly Webber's face tensed. He seemed to realize something, and then his smile returned in full force.

"Clever boy! You're trying to delay the inevitable aren't you? Stalling are we? We'll it won't help you. You almost had me there. You wanted to keep me talking for hours! Well it wouldn't have helped."

"Keeping you talking has never been a hard feat Webber. I assure you it was not part of any plan. You did it on your own."

"Shut up! Get the fuck downstairs!" Webber got behind L and jabbed the barrel of the gun into his spine. He shoved L forward and toward the staircase. L did not resist and walked very calmly to the indicated door. He opened it and headed down the wooden planks, his sandals clopped much more lightly on them than Webbers heavy boots.

Halfway down the stairs, Light came into view. L had to struggle very much to remain as stoic as he needed. He wanted to run to him, untie his bonds, and hold him. It was horrible to find him tied as he was in a similar chair to the one L remembered. It was terrible to find him on his side, the chair overturned. It was even worse to see the large bruise that was forming on his cheek. He was far to attractive to be bruised in such a way.

L's heart throbbed painfully. But he did not call out. He made no scene as he desired. He instead continued to walk calmly down the rest of the flight of stairs. He looked away from Light when he saw Light's eyes focus on him. Light's face had fallen to horror and dread just before L looked away. L knew Light had been hoping he would not come.

"There's you're stupid boyfriend. Happy now?"

"No. What an absurd question. What about this situation could make me happy?"

"Oh I don't know…your boyfriend being _alive_ should do the trick!" L stopped at the bottom of the stairs when his feet hit concrete. Webber stopped behind him, the gun still trained at L's back. Silence filled the basement with a type of unbearable pressure. No one seemed to know what to do next. Light was looking absolutely heartbroken. He stared at L with pain deeply etched in his young face.

"**Why did you come? Lawliet you fool!" **L's face saddened ever so slightly, but he still managed to hold onto his control.

"**How could I not? I waited as long as I could. The hour is almost up. How could I let him hurt you?"**

"**Well you should have! I'd take anything to keep you from being here!"** Webber growled in annoyance.

"I_ hate_ it when you guys talk in Japanese! Do you have any idea how _rude_ that is?" Webber lashed out suddenly, striking L sharply across the back of the head. L let out a brief cry as pain erupted in his skull. He stumbled forward, but the blow was not as bad as expected. He managed to stay on his feet. Webber had held back.

_Well sure. He doesn't want to knock me out…_

"Get moving! Over there!" Webber pointed demandingly to the pipes near the corner. L immediately noted the ropes, duct tape and gag. A pang of fear pierced him, but he cooled himself quickly. There was no need to panic…yet.

"You skipped a step Webber. What about bargaining?"

"Bargaining?"

"Yes. I won't cooperate unless Raito is freed. You must have expected that." Webber glared as Light's brown eyes widened in absolute disgust.

"**Lawliet! What the fuck are you talking about? Cooperate? You can't cooperate! Ever! For anything! You get your skinny ass back up those stairs! And I mean now! Right now!"**

"**Raito, please calm down. I have things under control for the time being. There is a plan. I promise. I didn't come here with the intention of giving myself to Webber. Ok?" **Light seemed to calm ever so slightly. He nodded, but he still looked quite petrified.

"I thought I told you two no more damned Japanese!" Webber suddenly fired the gun. It went off with a BOOM! The shot blew a hole in the wall just past L's head. It was enough to make both men jump in fright.

"Say something in Japanese again, and I'll blow off Light's foot. How's that sound cupcake?" L's stiff muscles slowly started to relax after the scare. He nodded solemnly. He wished he could explain to Light some more. He wished he could tell him the plan, but Webber wouldn't allow it again. L prayed that Light could stay calm while he stalled.

"Now get over to your place L!" L's expression hardened. He glared Webbers' way, seemingly unafraid.

"Let Light go first. Untie him and send him up the stairs. Then I'll do as you please." Webber laughed in a deranged way.

"Do you think I'm a fool? The second Light is gone; I have no more bargaining chips! You'll put up a fight, try to grab my gun, a number of other things. You won't do as I say! You've always been a liar, L." L's face remained harsh.

"So I'm a liar. Fine. We both know you're better at it than I am. And that's by no means a compliment. You're so full of lies that you wouldn't recognize truth if it spit in your face."

"Shut up L! Don't piss me off! I swear! Now _get over there!_" L glanced at the ropes and pipes as if he were actually considering it. Then he faced Webber once again.

"I'm afraid I'm still not happy with our arrangement. I want a guarantee that Light will be freed and unharmed. How do you suppose we can do that?"

"You're toying with me. I can see it in your face. I don't know what angle you're trying to play but it won't work."

"There's no angle. I just want Raito to be safe. You knew that before I came. Do you mean to tell me you haven't thought your plan all the way through? Surely you must have some idea to as how this is going to work. You already knew my demands before I arrived." Webber actually growled. He was not happy.

At first, Light was tense and very fearful for L's safety. But as time went by, he slowly started to realize something: L was stalling. Webber was a talker, as stated previously. L was using that to his advantage. Webber liked to argue. And he especially enjoyed chatting it up with L. L was leading him on, baiting him to keep him going.

Why? Other than delaying the horrors promised, there must have been another reason. L was waiting for something. But what?

Light decided that it wouldn't help to wrack his brain about it now. L was handling himself well. Light had confidence that he could keep himself away from the ropes waiting for him for a substantial amount of time. He was a genius after all. And he knew Webber. He would know just what to say to keep him yapping. As such, Light had some free time. Webber was distracted and wouldn't be paying Light any attention.

Light glanced back to the camping equipment. It was close. So very close. He couldn't start struggling and work on breaking his chair. That would cause too much noise. He had to get to the equipment instead. As he had earlier, Light tried to scoot himself back using his knees. If he maneuvered it just right…yes! He swore he slid at least half an inch. If he could keep it up, he could get to the equipment in a few minutes. He hoped L could last that long.

"Don't act so surprised. You've always been a poor planner Webber."

"A poor planner! Excuse me? Are you fucking kidding me? I beg to differ cupcake! Apparently, I plan well enough to have gotten my way with fifteen boys! You wanna argue with that type of planning?"

"Yes well…too bad your sixteenth boy foiled your perfect plans. Then again, they were proven to not be so perfect after all, since it clearly didn't work out. If you'd planned more carefully, maybe you would have realized that my people were following you."

"How the hell was I suppose to know? I'm not a psychic!"

"No. But you found me bugged. You must have known from that that the police would be looking for me. Could you not even make such a simple link?"

Webber raised the gun.

CRACK! The metal barrel struck L harshly across the face. Webber had not held back that time, and L tumbled to the floor. His legs crumpled, and he landed half curled, a large red gash across his pale cheek. Webber stepped over him, placing one leg on each side of his fallen form. He glared down viciously, aiming the gun at his chest.

"I might not be as smart as you, you freakish brianiac! But I sure as hell am more powerful than you! Maybe you shouldn't test me in this type of situation. I'm three times your size and weight toothpick! I have a _gun_! Or did you not put that into your calculations? I'm _better _than you!" L's eyes were like steel. He glared up at Webber hatefully, even as his cheek began to bleed.

"It might be true that you're more powerful, but you are by no means _better_ than me!"

"You son of a bitch!" Webber fired the gun a second time. L and Light both jumped from the deafening shot. The concrete just next to L's head exploded, tiny pieces shattering in every which direction. L turned his head away from the debris as Light stared with transfixed horror. "_Don't challenge me!_"

Light was forced to watch as it all went down. But even as he was fixated on the scene with horror, he had been working his way back toward the camping gear. He'd be damned if he was going to lie around and do nothing. He didn't quite care what L's plan was. He didn't care what he was waiting for. Light knew that he couldn't wait forever. Webber would get tired sooner or later. And at that time, Light knew he'd better be free so he could help Lawliet in this sudden mess they were in.

But even as he worried and struggled against his bonds, he had to wonder why L was purposefully making Webber angry. Didn't that work against him? Wouldn't L want to keep him cool and collected? Why was he provoking him? Surely there were other ways to stall.

But Light got his answer the very moment he thought about it more carefully. L certainly didn't want Webber to be happy. L had to argue. He had to be defiant. If he were cooperative in anyway at all…Webber would take it to mean he was being submissive. If L were submissive…Webber would want to carry out his sick fantasies. If L agreed, played along, or even was anything other than defiant…Webber would want to take him. It would turn him on.

_L has to take the risk. He'd rather be beaten than face the alternative._ Light had to agree. He'd rather be beaten too. But of course…he didn't want L to be hurt at all. But if it was the only way to stall, then there was nothing else they could do. There was certainly nothing Light could do tied to his chair.

_Damn it! _Light knew he had to hurry. He didn't know how long Webber would play L's little game. Light was close now. Only a few inches away. He shuffled along silently.

"You sure are cocky L! Especially considering your circumstances! Do you even realize what kind of a position I have you in? Do you have any idea what I'm going to do to you?"

"You won't do anything until you free Raito."

"I'll do whatever the hell I want!" He reached down with his free hand snaring the front of L's shirt into his fist. He pulled L up and to his feet where he held him. For just a second, he glared hatefully into L's face as L glared just as vengefully back. But then, suddenly and unexpectedly, Webber leaned in. He opened his mouth and ran his tongue dreadfully over L's cut cheek, licking the blood off of his pale skin.

L flinched and then immediately jerked his head back and away from Webber. He started to struggle, fiercely. He reeled back his leg and went to ram his knee into Webber's mid-section. But Webber was ready. Even while holding the gun, he managed to catch L's knee before it ever landed. He stopped it mid-flight, and then held it captive.

Webber then pulled L in close, bringing him up against his body. With L's leg raised and bent, Webber had an easy time pressing it up against his side. There he held it. In such a position, L's face was sickeningly close to Webbers. He could easily smell his stale breath and old cigarette smoke.

Webber smiled, his smoker's wrinkles coming to life around his eyes and mouth.

"Still as feisty as ever. I always liked that about you L. You try to fight, even though you know as much as I do, that there's no hope."

L squirmed frantically, his fear staring to take over the coolness he'd managed to maintain this entire time. His heart threatened to start racing. It threatened to distract him by sending waves of panic through his system.

_No! I have to stall! I need more time! Get him talking!_ L kept his brain on and running. He was a master at thinking through rough situations. And by God he'd do it again if it only meant saving Light. So he suppressed his heart, which unfortunately for this situation had grown much stronger since he had been in America. It was harder to keep it shut away now that Light had opened it. Still, L managed. He needed his brain.

L immediately realized that despite the awkward position he was in, Webber's hands were occupied. One gripped the front of his shirt, keeping his face close to Webbers. Webber's other hand gripped his knee and a gun. Webber had cornered himself. There was a large chance to take advantage.

"Both your hands are busy Webber," L said coolly. And of course, both of L's hands were still free since Webber had never grabbed them. L made a daring decision then jabbed his palm out like lightning. As fast as he could manage, he jammed his fingers into Webber's eyes. L grit his teeth and ignored the disgust that rose in the pit of his stomach. It was warm and slimy, but he knew he could not let up. Webber screamed as L pushed in ruthlessly and as far as he could. If he were able to…he would blind him.

But before L had the chance, Webber pulled violently away. Screaming in agony, he shoved L roughly backward. The much larger man stumbled crookedly after having shoved L off of him. L went stumbling from the force as well. He struggled to regain his balance, but failed and fell ungracefully to his butt.

"Lawliet!" Light cried. L ignored him. He ignored the panic in Light's voice. L already knew what he had done. He didn't need Light's frantic tones to remind him. L knew perfectly well that he had initiated action. Webber would be extremely pissed. And because of that, there would be no more talk, no more stalling. Webber would want to hurt someone. But L had no choice. L knew that if he had played along…Webber would have wanted to toy with him. He would have wanted more than just a bit of chatting. So it was either do as he wanted…or fight. L chose to fight.

But now he knew he had to get the gun. He had to get it before Webber recovered, before he finished stumbling around. He had to get it or Light was dead. Webber would kill Light just to teach L a lesson. He'd kill Light out of sheer rage. He'd kill Light for the sake of watching L's heart break.

So L pushed himself up, steel in his black eyes. He had to hold fast. He had to maintain control. Holding onto his confidence with a vicious determination, L gathered himself and then pounced. He would focus on speed. Webber might have been more powerful, but he wasn't quite as quick. He raced for Webber's hands, which had been brought up to his face. The hands clutched at his abused eyes in pain. Webber still screamed. L latched on to the right hand, grabbing at the weapon. He squeezed tightly; ignoring how unsettling the feel of cold metal was beneath his skin. He yanked on the hand roughly, forcing it down and away from Webber's face.

Webber felt L's pale grasping hands and even though he was blinded for the moment, he still had power on his side. He increased his grip on the gun, his thick hands tightening on instinct.

BANG! The gun went off. Light let out a cry of terror. The lawn chair beside him seemed to explode in a flurry of snapping plastic bands and screaming metal. Light, frantic for L's safety, looked up to the struggling pair in desperation. He checked L's white shirt for any sign of red at all. He silently thanked the lord when he saw none. L had not faltered. He hadn't moved. He hadn't cried out. The bullet had gone astray and no one was hurt.

Seeing that Webber's grip was too tight, and knowing he was not powerful enough to wrench the gun away without more of a distraction, L kicked out, aiming at the larger man's legs. He nailed him in the shin. Webber cried out, but did not fall as L had hoped. Instead, he used his sudden burst of pain to yank the gun away. It tore out of L's hands, cutting both soft palms as it went. L let out a cry.

Webber stumbled just once more, and then seemed to regain his balance. He seethed, his huge barrel of a chest heaving in and out. He sounded almost like a steam engine. Webber's beady eyes finally opened. They were very red and very swollen from the attack L had launched. They rolled dangerously in Webber's skull as they tried to focus. It gave Webber a look of a total loon. The corners of them started to bleed making it appear as if Webber were crying tears of blood. The dark orbs shifted, then they snapped to L. Their bloodshot vision focused, and Webber glared in a total and complete rage.

Fear pierced L. He had seen that look before. He knew what it meant. It meant pain. Lots and lots of pain. Thinking not of himself at all, but of his tied and helpless partner, L immediately leapt in front of Light in order to protect him. He raised both arms out as if this would stop the two hundred pound man before him. Webber still had the gun and now he was more than angry. L's first thought was to keep Light alive. Webber let out a low, furious and dangerous growl. He took one single step forward, his heavy boots pounding the cement beneath it.

"No!" L cried. He shouted it almost like a demand. As if they were all in the circus and Webber were a well-trained bear. Webber said nothing. He advanced in a rage, his thick boots beating the ground with each step. Each thud resounded inside of L's small form. Each vibration shook his bones. He knew that Webber would not be stopping. And L could not hold him back. L could do nothing against his weight, size, strength and weapons. He could do nothing against a gun. And it was still too early for help to arrive.

Suddenly, and without warning, L turned away from Webber and threw himself on top of Light in a last ditch effort of desperation. It caught Light off guard. He certainly had not been prepared to have L throw himself over him. He certainly wasn't ready for his small body to be pressed into his side.

It hurt. It hurt because he enjoyed it so much. It hurt because it was a gesture of affection. It meant L loved him. It meant he loved him enough to try something that everyone, including L, knew would never work. L cold not protect Light in this way. He could do very little to save him. Webber was far too powerful. It was all for nothing. And that was why it was so touching. L was going to try it anyway.

Through the pain of his throbbing heart, Light knew that there was only one plan left that might work to their advantage. There was really only one thing left that he could do for their desperate situation.

"**Lawliet! Shove me backward just an inch!" **L wrapped his arms around Light's neck. He squeezed him with the grip of a vice. And as he did so, he also kicked out, pushing his sandal against the concrete. He slid both of them backward and into the camping equipment, trusting Light without question. Light's hands immediately fell onto the bag with the pot handle poking out of it. He started to rummage. L's body blocked the view of anything he was doing.

Webber reached the two and lashed out with his free hand. He snared the back of L's white shirt. L's fingers dug violently into Light's back as if he were a cat with claws. Light let out a cry of pain as Webber pulled. L would not let go.

"NO!" L screamed. His cool resolve was gone. The reality of having Light killed was far too terrible. His heart pounded. Light could feel it against his chest. He could feel the heat pour from L's little form. He was sweating. He was trembling. Webber yanked on L again, this time using his weight for leverage. L had no chance of fighting it. His nails ripped ten long gashed into Light's shirt and skin as he was torn from his love.

"NO!" L screamed again, his voice hitching in fear. Webber dragged L off of Light and over to himself. He glared at the smaller man for only and instant, then Webber backhanded L suddenly and viciously. There was a loud, and sickening CRACK! L crumpled backward and onto the concrete. Light's heart spasmed as L was struck. His insides grew cold. Webber loomed over him, his shadow falling over his face as it blocked the light from the single naked light bulb in the ceiling. Light gaped up at the killer above him. Light had not yet found the utensils he needed. He knew that if Webber wanted, he would be dead in two more seconds.

But Webber did not turn the gun on him as he expected. Instead, he faced L. Completely enraged; Webber didn't even bother dragging his fallen victim to the designated ropes. He instead, got down on both his hands and knees, positioning himself above his fallen pray. He glared, his eyes still red, the corners of them bleeding from the damage L had caused. He cried droplets onto the white shirt below him. Each 'plink' formed a perfect circle of crimson. He looked absolutely mad as his shadow fell over L's pale face. His wrinkles cut deeply into his skin, his beady eyes were wide, the whites of them, which were now pink, showed brightly, even in the shadow he cast.

L stared up at him with horror.

"You're going to wish you were dead by the time I get through with you! You're going to _beg_ for death! You're going to wish you'd never been born! You'll cry like a little girl! You'll pray for me to stop. But I won't! I won't stop, even when you start groveling in the dirt!"

L's eyes widened with terror. His heart pounded in his chest. But he barely even had time to feel the completeness of his fear because Webber was past wasting time or playing games. He reached out grabbing L's mess of black hair. He violently yanked on it, causing L to cry out as his head was brought back. Webber's fury seemed to suddenly mix with excitement. It swam in his insane eyes as they gleamed with something other than blood. He started to pant, like a dog in heat. His tongue hung loose and from L's lowered point of view it was not hard to see that he had started salivating.

"Yes! That's the voice I want to hear! Just like that L! Cry out just like that!" Webber's voice was already strained with anticipation. It filled L with a dread that he had never forgotten. It filled him with a very particular loathing. His insides squirmed, his stomach clenched. He could no longer keep his head. Not with Webber above him. Not with his rotten breath washing over his pale skin. Not when he was looking at him like that, with his bleeding, lusting eyes. Webber took his gun hand and lifted it moving it very slowly over L's abdomen. He dragged the tip of the cold metal barrel against L's midsection, knowing quite well what kind of fear it instilled.

L trembled, his body shuddering as if caught in an ice storm. Webber's gun lowered even further until it found the top seam of his pants. Then, the demented rapist slowly started to sink the metal barrel past L's zipper and into his jeans.

L's body jerked immediately from the instantaneous terror that jolted through him. Adrenaline fueled him, his body took over. All pain was overridden as a sense of survival bloomed. Webber could not completely pin him with busy hands, and he'd also made the mistake of keeping L face up. As such, L's legs were free. He lifted his knee suddenly and sharply. And this time around, he hit his target. His kneecap sunk deeply into Webber's soft middle, connecting with vital organs.

Webber let out a winded gasp as the air was knocked out of him. His body slackened, and to L's horror, the man collapsed on top of him. Webber's heavy weight and stinking heat seeped into L's skin, penetrating his body. It shot an even greater shock of horror through him. The feel of Webber's body and muscles on top of him was enough to drive him mad. L let out a terrified cry. Then, in a complete and total frenzy, L tried to claw his way out from underneath his prison. Squirming and writhing madly, he managed to wiggle his way out from underneath Webber's fallen form. He clawed at the concrete, not caring for the nails he suddenly split in half in his struggled. After only a few seconds of complete and utter frenzied panic, he managed to drag the last portion of his legs out from underneath the man he had feared for so long.

Once out and free, L found himself on his hands and knees, gasping wildly for air. His black hair fell over his now gigantic eyes. Light wasted no time. He would not wait for L to recover from his scare. They had no time for that.

"**Lawliet! Run! You can't stall him anymore! Get out of here!"** L scrambled to his feet, but was looking quite unlike himself. His wild black eyes turned and focused on Light. It seemed to take him a second to even register what Light had said. Once understanding entered his eyes, hesitation soon followed. L looked from Light to Webber confusion and worry on his face. Light knew immediately that L was worried for Light's safety. He was afraid that if he ran, Webber would kill him or hurt him. Light could see him shaking. His body twitched, his feet itched to move. He was ready to take flight. And he would have to if he was going to get away untouched. It had already come far too close.

Light's heart throbbed. Even when faced with his worst and most absolute fear, L was still willing to stay. He was willing to suffer to ensure Light's safety. He didn't want to leave him. But it was too much for Light to handle. It was too much for him to watch. He could not stand that wild feral look in L's eyes. Not when Light had been so privileged to see those same eyes filled with happiness and contentment only a short time ago. He could not stand seeing him shake and tremble. He could not stand to see him in so much pain. Light knew he had to get him to run. Because once Webber recovered…there was no hope. L would be taken. He would be taken from Light.

"**Lawliet run!" **Light screamed again. L gazed at Light, his black eyes full of despair. He seemed unable to speak. But he managed to shake his head "no" in a type of frantic pleading. His eyes screamed what his voice could not. _I can't leave you!_

"**Damnit Lawliet you idiot, RUN! I'll be fine! Webber doesn't want me! He wants **_**you!**_** Run now and he'll chase after you! He won't touch me! I promise! Now fucking run!"** But L still hesitated. He took a few steps toward the stairs, but then stopped. He glanced to Light. Webber groaned from the ground. He finally seemed to get the pain in his middle under control. Gun still in hand, he started to push himself back up. L's terrified eyes snapped back to the rising mass of muscle. Light watched as the black rims around L's eyes became deeper and darker than the dead of night. His heart pounded.

"_**LAWLIET RUN!"**_ Webber let out a furious cry. L jumped from fright and then his survival instincts seemed to finally win out. He turned and he raced for the stairs. He did not look back as his sandals slapped the concrete beneath him. L dared not turn as he leapt over the first three wooden steps and landed on the fourth. The wood beneath him screamed and creaked as he raced up them as fast as he could and away. He dared not think of Light. He dared not think of anything. The terror was too great. It controlled him. It made him fly.

Webber saw his prize starting to get away. He scrambled to get back to his feet. He moved fast for such a large man. Light knew that Webber was just as animalistic as L was by that point. They were both running on instinct now. Both of them had forgotten their human selves in the frantic chase.

Not interested in Light at all and doing just as Light said he would, Webber let out a furious scream and then ran after his fleeing prey. Light could only listen to the beat of smaller feet above him and watch as Webber disappeared up the stairs. There was much thudding as Webber reached the top floor. Light listened as the front door was slammed open like a cannon. There was more pounding and then everything grew eerily quiet.

_God damn it! I have to hurry!_ Knowing there was precious little time, Light rummaged through the camping pack. He heard the clatter of silverware inside. He knew he was close. He had to find a knife. He had to escape. He had to go after them. He had to assure L's safety. If Webber caught him…his fury would make everything much worse for L. It would be violent. L would be ravaged.

Light's heart was vicious. It wreaked havoc on his chest. It wreaked havoc on his body. His hands were shaking. It made sifting through the bag much more difficult than it had to be. Light fumbled with the things he felt. He didn't know and didn't care what type of items he was grabbing. If it wasn't a knife, he pulled it out and tossed it aside.

It was only after his fifth or sixth item that he realized he was crying. Hot, wet, fat tears streamed down his cheeks. It blurred his vision, but it didn't matter. He didn't need to see for this. His chest heaved. He was having trouble breathing. That was ok. He didn't need to breathe for this. He just needed to feel. He just needed to steady his trembling hands.

_Oh God! Please! Please save Lawli!_

Desperation and an increasingly racing heart drove him onward. He couldn't let it end this way. He couldn't let L suffer and die in such an undignified way. He didn't deserve it. He didn't deserve the horrible life he'd been given. Light only wanted to give him happiness. All he wanted was to give him all the things he'd never been privileged to before. All he wanted was to see him smile; hear him say that he was glad. All he wanted was to save him.

_Please! Please let me make him smile! Don't let it end this way! Don't let him suffer again! He's been through enough! Please! Please God!_

Light had never been religious. In fact, he was fairly certain that he was an atheist. He had never believed in a God. He believed in Shinigami. He believed in death. He certainly believed in the Devil. But he had never before acknowledged a God. He'd never prayed. He'd never gone to church. He'd never read the bible or spoken to Him before. But now his thoughts were overtaken with desperate pleas. His mind was overcome with silent prayers of pleading. He didn't know where his thoughts were coming from, or why he thought them with such power, but they were there. He could not deny them, and he could not stop them from being formed. So, he allowed his crazed mind to do what it wanted as he searched for the utensils. He heard them clatter. He was getting close.

_Please! I love him God! I love him! He's the only reason I've been saved! He's the only reason I stopped killing! The only reason Kira's dead! I'm Light Yagami now! And I need him! I need him more than I'd ever admit out loud! He keeps me in the light! He makes me whole! He keeps me clean! Please! Please don't let him suffer! He's _good!_ He's done nothing but to try and do the right thing his entire life! And all he's gotten for it is sludge! He's been hurt so badly! Please! Let me fix him! He's so much better than me, but I know I can help fix him! All he needs is a chance! Please! Just give us a chance! Save my Lawli!" _

His hands suddenly plunged into many sharp and pointed objects. Light let out a brief cry. Blinking, and literally stabbed out of his thoughts, Light felt around. He'd found the utensils. His almond eyes widened. This was exactly what he needed. Much more carefully than before, he moved his fingers around the metal objects. He felt the handles of many metal, eating instruments. He followed them up to their tops finding forks, spoons and then…a knife. A steak knife. And it was nice and sharp despite having been sitting in an abandoned basement for God knew how long. Light moved his hand to its handle, and then gripped it tightly. He pulled it out of the bag.

Very carefully, so as not to drop or lose it, he flipped it around so that the teeth of the blade pointed inward. He brought it to his ropes, and then with renewed determination and vigor, he started to saw and hack away.

_I'm coming Lawliet! Please, hold on!_


	24. Webber's Way

**Author's Note:** I know this is getting repetitive, but this is rated M and for good reason. Also, I wanted to thank everyone who's offered me their support over this difficult time in my life. But things seem to finally be settling down. My grandparents are healthier and seem happy in their new home at the facility. I seem to be getting better from that horrible cold and I even have two freelance job leads! I just need them to actually get back to me. That'd be nice. Heh! Anyway, I really wanted to say thanks for all the support! It's meant a lot you guys!

Also, I'm trying really hard to publish a children's book that I both wrote and illustrated myself. I'm going to try to self-publish this time around. I'm going to need a lot of support and a lot of sales if I'm seriously going to get into the writing world. I'm also working on a novel. It's fiction, and so far, I'm really liking it. It will be a long time still before it's finished, but once it is…I'm going to need you guys to buy it! LOL! But trust me, I would never try to publish something that isn't worth your while. I write to make the readers happy, not just myself. That's you guys! You're my first batch of readers! So if I can make you happy, then I can make others happy too. I'll let you know more about that later on.

Spotofpaint

----------------------

L's heart was going to burst. He knew it would. He'd been running too long, too hard, too fast. The streets were dark. They were unfamiliar. They were unfriendly. None of them offered him sanctuary. None of them offered a haven. House after house was dark. House after house had boards on the doors, weeds in the front yard and broken front windows. No one lived here. No one was around to scare Webber off of the chase. No one was there to even witness his existence.

L gasped for air. His throat was raw. His lungs were burning. The humid Georgia air choked him. He felt like he was drowning. It was too hot. He simply could not gulp in enough air to satisfy his burning body. It demanded more oxygen for its exertion. It demanded more fuel to keep going. It offered adrenalin to numb the sharp stabbing pain in his side, but even that wasn't enough to keep him running forever.

Still, his sandals pounded the pavement. But they were not good for running. Not when he had to run as fast as he could. They slipped. In another three seconds, both of them were gone. They clattered like old cans behind him before they rolled to a stop. He didn't care. His feet were tough anyway. It didn't hurt. In fact, losing the sandals may have helped. So his bare feet slapped the pavement. He ran as fast as he possibly could. He never slowed. He knew if he slowed, it would all be over.

L knew in the back of his mind…that it was already over. His plan had been loose and unreliable to begin with. He knew that. He just didn't want to frighten Light by admitting it. But now that they were away from the designated address…it could not work at all. The allies Watari had gathered to come and help needed more time to arrive. They were in America, but not in Atlanta. They needed that first hour that L had spent waiting and then at least another thirty minutes thereafter. L had only managed to stall for fifteen or so. Besides, none of that mattered now. They would be heading to the given address. They would not be out in the streets looking for him. No. No one knew where he was now, not even Light. L didn't even know where he was. He was quite lost. He hadn't exactly been paying attention to where he was going when he tore out of the house. He was running blindly, madly.

_I'm a fool!_ He thought desperately. _I went in without a solid plan! I went in with practically nothing! How could I betray myself like this?_ But he already knew the answer to that. Light Yagami. L had analyzed all of his options. And sadly…there were very few. At least…there were very few that would allow Light to emerge from the basement unharmed. L could have informed the police of what was taking place. But that wasn't worth the risk. If anyone recognized L or Light…Light would be killed. The only difference would have been who did the killing. So no authorities.

L knew a few people in the United States. But most were out of area and there wasn't enough time for them to fly into Atlanta to save Light. There was no one in the immediate area. L had chosen Atlanta for that reason on purpose. There was no risk in running into an old face or someone he had worked with in the past. None of his allies were near. And of course…they all thought he was dead anyway. There was no guarantee that they'd believe an anonymous phone call from a phone booth.

L certainly couldn't have waited past the hour deadline he'd been given. He would never let Webber hurt Light. He could have never let him burn him with the iron. L recalled the pain of being burnt. How agonizing it truly was. Light couldn't understand that. And L didn't want him too. There had been no choice. His only option at all was to wait for the people Watari was sending. But he could not have waited past the hour. So relying on little more than his intellectual skills, he had gone in.

_I sacrificed myself for him._ L thought suddenly. Yes. He had indeed sacrificed himself for Light. And he knew that the time to pay for that decision was drawing near. He could not continue to run. His thin body was burning and his legs threatened to give out at any moment. He gasped for air, the force of the humidity almost bringing him to the ground. The fear was piercing.

Webber was hot on his tail. L had leapt over fences; ducked under abandoned cars, wound his way through alleyways. Nothing worked. Webber kept up, his animalistic frenzy for flesh keeping him going like a predator in the middle of a hunt.

L's heart was going to burst. The pressure in his chest becoming too severe to ignore. He let out a small cry due to the pain. His body would not cooperate. But the fear…the deep, terrible fear kept him up and running. That fear ran through his veins like ice, despite the burning in his muscles. It pounded him, keeping his bare feet going. He was still faster than Webber. Webber was big and cumbersome. Maybe, if he just kept going…after all, Webber was getting tired too.

"Stop running right now L or I'll fucking _shoot_ you!" The incentive didn't persuade L much. He squeezed his eyes shut. He was absolutely terrified. Dark shapes raced by him. All of them faceless. The orange glow of the streetlamps cast an array of ghosts and demons as his backdrop. Buildings loomed. Dark shapes moved. It was all a terrible blur. No one was there. No one was there to help him.

"I'll fucking shoot!" L did not stop. He would not stop for Webber's booming echoing voice. It bounced off of the glass and cement around him, doubling back to assault him a second time. No one wanted him. Only Webber did. And it was a terribly cruel and dark twist on his desire to be wanted.

_What do I do? Where can I go?_ His heart hurt.

BLAM! There was an explosion. At first L thought it had actually happened. His heart must have combusted. But then, suddenly, his leg burst into a symphony of agony. The pain was horrible. It ripped through him. The bullet fired, tore through nerves and muscle, blood and flesh. It ripped apart the fragile strings that kept his body together. He watched in fascinated horror as blood burst fourth in a spray out of his skin and forward. It moved faster than his racing, and within one heartbeat and one more step he started to fall.

The fire and the burning pain were much worse, much more excruciating than L had ever imagined. And he imagined being shot dozens of times throughout his cases.

He screamed. Running as fast as he was, his body seemed to be flung forward almost like a tin can hit by a car. His shot leg crumpled from underneath him. The pressure was too much. L's bony frame slammed into the blacktop. Elbows and knees cracked into the hard surface ruthlessly. L skidded from the force of his momentum, skinning the palms of his already bleeding hands. Then finally, his form came to a rest.

Webber was already catching up. L scrambled. He struggled to get up, to get back to his feet. He pushed himself up and to his knees. He went to rise. Sharp and furious pain raced through his thigh. It felt like a razor blade were stuck inside his skin. He screamed a second time, but did not care. He had to move. _Now!_ But Webber was already at his back, and as L forced himself to his feet, a monstrous, thick hand shot out. It snared the back of his shirt.

Both were through playing. Adrenaline surged, survival instincts flared. The world around him vanished as an animalistic need to live took him over. L twisted in Webber's grasp, contorting himself around to face his attacker. Then L threw the first punch. But Webber was trained in combat. He blocked. Not pulling any punches, Webber played the game the way he always had: dirty. He kicked out, nailing L cruelly in his fresh gunshot wound. He dug his heel painfully into the bleeding hole.

L's agonized cry pierced the otherwise quiet night. He went to fall back down to the road, but Webber caught him. He lifted the smaller man up grabbing him under his arms and then started to drag L away from the street and toward one of the alleyways that stood between the two nearest buildings.

Knowing exactly what was happening, terror driving him on, L called upon the little strength he had left. He struggled fiercely. He would not go quietly. He would not let Webber take him. He thrust his elbow backward, nailing Webber in his solerplex. Webber cried out, but the adrenalin was pumping for both of them. They ignored their pain.

Webber lashed out, cracking L across the face with rock hard knuckles. L flinched and because he did he was rewarded with another strike across his jaw. He found himself back on the ground. Webber stepped over him. L lifted his leg and cracked the larger man in the face with the back of his heel. Webber reeled.

L fumbled, trying to stagger to his feet, but Webber had more in him. He reached out, grabbing L from behind. He lifted his knee and there was a loud CRACK as it was jammed into L's spine. Sharp and excruciating pain flared. L cried out. Still, the adrenalin numbed it. L would survive. He had to.

So he lowered his mouth and bite into Webber's fleshy hands ruthlessly. Webber cried out and released him. L stumbled forward, trying to run a second time, but his vision suddenly swam. His head pounded in a painful, dizzying way. And each pound sent waves of red across his vision. At first, confusion flooded him. Why couldn't he see? But then he realized…his strength was fading. And it was fading fast. The very world swam in sickening ways. It looped to the left and then to the right, the colors of the night blending into one putrid mess. L felt suddenly sick. He struggled to move his feet anyway. He had to run. He had to.

Even as his vision started to clear he knew exactly why his strength was leaving him. He knew just why his vision swam. It was pouring out of his body. It was dripping down his thigh, down his leg, soaking his pants. His strength then left out the bottom, coating his bare foot before spilling onto the ground. That was why he couldn't run. That was why his vision was unreliable.

Webber grabbed him from behind a second time. Momentarily helpless, L could do nothing as Webber dragged him backwards and into the darkened alleyway. The orange glow from the streetlamps vanished, plunging him into darkness. The smell of garbage and rotting trash filled his nose. _I can't die here! I can't! Not in a place like this! _Desperation and survival instincts forced him to call up more of a struggle. L threw his fist backward, nailing his assailant in the face.

_Keep fighting! Just keep fighting!_ His mind screamed. Webber's grip loosened. L whirled around and threw a punch. It landed well in the center of Webber's face. There was a CRACK as Webber's nose snapped. Blood exploded out of his nostrils. He wobbled, then his thick legs started to give way. He started to fall. But as he did, he latched onto L's arm on the way down. Lacking the strength to fight such a force, L collapsed along with him. They both ended up on the ground of the alleyway.

L struggled to rip himself free from Webber's grasp. But as before, he discovered he had little strength to do so. Even the adrenalin was not giving him enough of a boost anymore. It was fading away. With his blood draining…he had nothing. Still L struggled. He clawed at the pavement, trying desperately to drag himself away. He dug his bitten nails in, but it was not enough.

Webber reached out two giant hands. He grabbed his shoulders from behind. He let out a loud shout, and then yanked his prey up and backwards. Webber then slammed L down and into the ground. The back of L's head collided with the pavement with a sickening CRACK! L let out a weakened cry. Webber took his moment and crawled on top of his victim. He kept L down by pressing his thick palms into his boney shoulders.

He glared. He glared with a fierce and intolerable hatred. The orange glow from the single streetlight at the end of the alley, cast into the side of his red eyes. It made them almost look like they were glowing.

Webber snarled. Spit from their fight dripped from the corner of his lip. Blood from a gash over his eyes fell to meet the saliva on top of L's shirt.

"You're mine L! You're finally mine! You're going to _pay_ for escaping me! For resisting me! I'm going to _hurt_ you. I'm going to make you _scream!_" Webber, licked his lips. Perhaps it was to get rid of the blood and sweat, but L doubted it. He knew his heart would burst. It beat far too violently. Webber eyed L greedily, and then he suddenly leaned in, his disgusting lips drawing near. Fear pierced L once again. L desperately called up more energy.

_Just keep fighting! Don't give up! Don't give in! Fight!_ L lashed out. Barely able to even move anymore, he managed to strike out with his hands. He raised them as quick as a snake and clawed at Webber's face, digging in his nails, ripping at his flesh. Webber let out a roar as bitten nails tore into his skin. He started to bleed all over again. But he threw his head back, bringing himself out of L's reach even as he remained seated on top of him. Webber soon recovered. He was still on top of L. L hadn't the strength to shove him off. Webber was not slowly bleeding to death like he was. Webber's body was not small and tired. He was large. And he had much more strength stored away.

He glared down at his prey with fury.

"You little bitch!" He backhanded L harshly. L let out a weakened cry. He tried to retaliate once more. Just once more. But his strength would not make his body move fast enough. He had little left to give. Webber was already raising his fist a second time. He struck L again. L cried out. Then he rose his fist a third time. He struck him again. Then again. Then again.

Unable to do anything else for himself, L raised his arms to protect his face. But it did little good. The blows rained down. L cried out as each strike crushed into his small form. And even as the pain flared and his body screamed, L understood. Webber was going to beat him until he had no more fight left. He was going to beat him until he was too weak, too injured to resist. He was going to make damned sure that L could not cause him any more trouble. Then…Webber would finally get what he wanted. And he'd be able to take his time.

L knew then that it was finally over. He could not fight. The pain was too much. His body was breaking all around him. Webber was tearing it apart so that it could no longer serve L as a defense. Knowing that the agony would not stop, but in fact get much worse before he died, L's fear resurfaced where his survival instinct just dwelled. It could no longer serve him, and so terror took back its place.

His heart pounded. It raced inside of his bruising body. It leapt and jolted every time another blow fell. Every time the fire of pain flared from the digging of knuckles. Every time L screamed he swore his racing heart stopped for just a millisecond.

But then, somehow, through it all, through all of the agony and pain, L thought of Light. And for some reason, this brought him hope. He wasn't sure why. Light was tied to a chair in a basement. He certainly could not come and save him. Even if he did manage to get free, he had no idea where he was. But still…the thought of him brought comfort. It brought a fraction of hope that someone _did_ know what was happening to him. Someone was looking for him. Someone was worried and would save him if they could. If it was in Light's power, L knew he would come. Light would come for him. Even if he were too late…he would eventually come. Someone loved him.

And so, when Webber finally stopped beating him, L lay quietly, motionlessly. His body throbbed. He felt something sticky move down the side of his face. He smelt blood. He knew it was his own. Still he focused on that picture he had called up in his mind, that vision of Light. He clung to it desperately, even when Webber grinned down at him in that sickening way.

"There! Just the way I like em! Rare and bloody!" He laughed. "Tender and juicy!" He snickered, the blood dripping down his bloodied face not seeming to bother him in the slightest.

"Whose gunna save you now L? Huh? You have no one! No Watari! No secret police! No swat team or special force! You've got no one! So whose gunna save you L? Huh? Whose gunna come?" Webber's laughter tore from his throat in jagged ways. It buckled under the weight of his burly voice, causing it to bounce back and fourth. But despite hic cruel mockery, despite the searing pain in his body, L had an answer.

"…Rai…to…" It came from him weakly. He hardly even recognized his own voice. It was small, hardly even audible. It had broken halfway through this beloved name. But it was there. And it filled him with a hope he knew he was too foolish to let go of. Webber sat for a moment on top of his victim seeming stunned. He stared, blood dripping from his knuckles, his eyes and his lips.

"What did you just say? Are you fucking kidding me? Are you whining for that Japanese brat? You think he's going to come save you?" Webber snared L's shirt, lifting his lax body toward his face. L did not resist. He couldn't. His body throbbed and burned. He lay as limp as a rag doll in Webber's grasp. Webber glared into L's bruised features.

"When I'm done, you'll be so scrambled, you won't even remember your _own_ name, not to mention _his!_ You're _mine!_ And when I'm done. I'm going to go back, and pump that little fag's face full of led! You won't even recognize your precious Raito-kun when you wake up in Hell!"

Webber put the gun down on the pavement beside him in preparation of using both of his hands. He lay L back down on the pavement, then he grabbed L's white shirt. He ripped it easily right down it's front as if it were made of tissue paper. Webber exposed him to the night around them. Then his look of anger dissolved as his smokers grin grew on his bleeding, shredded face. Delight re-entered his eyes as he gazed at L's thin and boney form. He was as pale as ever and easy to gaze upon in the dark alleyway.

"Yes…yes…I will finally have you." He growled greedily.

L focused intensely on the picture of Light he had in his mind. He would not focus on the fear. He certainly would not look at Webber. He would get no such satisfaction. Instead L concentrated on that picture. It made him feel better, like everything would be ok. Even as tears started to pour from his tired eyes. Even as they rolled, hot and sticky down his bruised cheeks mixing with his blood. Light would come.

"…Raito…" His voice came weakly. The call for his first-ever-friend was barely capable of being heard. But it was much better than not saying it at all. Hearing his name spoken out loud solidified L's tiny sliver of hope. L knew Light would come for him.


	25. The Rescue

**Author's Note:** The children's book is indeed coming along! I have already submitted it to the publisher and they're reviewing all of my illustrations now to see if it's ready for printing. It might be a few more weeks still until it's up and able to be purchased on Amazon. But it will indeed be up soon. I have an ISBN number and everything, which means it's officially published. All we need to do now is wait. I'm trying my very very best to get it up before Christmas so that those of you with little siblings, or cousins can get it to them for gifts. But then again, you have to wait for shipping too. So…if worst comes to worst, you can always give it to them as a new years present.

Anyway, for those of you who've been wondering, yes, this is the climax of the story. That means it's almost over. There are only a few chapters left. And for those who have been worrying a great deal, don't. Most of my writing focuses on the wonders of hope and faith.

P.S.- This is a long one. Be prepared.

Spotofpaint

----------------------------

Light stepped out of the abandoned house and immediately found himself directionless. His pounding heart pumped a vicious amount of blood through his temples, causing an agonizing headache to surface. The air was hot. It was wet and sticky. The Georgia humidity made it nearly impossible to think. It was heavy and had a good way of clouding the mind. It stuffed itself inside of his ears and into his skull as if it were cotton. Hearing his thoughts was nearly unachievable.

Of course, Light's panic wasn't helping either. He looked all around himself fitfully. To the left was a wooden fence, separating his abandoned house from another. It rose above him like a wall. In front of him was a second abandoned house. It promised nothing more than the fence. To his right was the street. It glowed an eerie orange, as if it were lit by the fires of hell instead of a weathered electrical pulse.

_Which way?_ Light stepped off of the front stairs and jogged hurriedly over to the street. If L had run out in fear, as Light was sure he had, he would have headed instinctively for the street since it was an open place to run. He wouldn't have gone for an obstacle like a fence. And so Light positioned himself underneath the first streetlight.

It bathed him in its hellish glow. Light tried to pay it no mind, but it's light was skewing everything. It seemed to tilt the entire world so that the street no longer faded off toward a vanishing point in the distance, but instead seemed to zigzag in and out of reality. Light let out a gruff rush of frustration. There were only two directions to choose…but he could not know which way the two had headed.

Light quickly started inspecting the pavement as if he would find a footprint, or some other damning evidence always found in Nancy Drew and Sherlock Holmes novels. But real life simply wasn't that easy. It hadn't rained in days. The ground was bone dry.

It was then that something exploded in the distance, snapping Light's head up and to attention. He immediately recognized the sound as a gunshot. And immediately after that, he heard the scream. It rose on the windless night, powerful enough to overcome the weight of the humidity. That terrible scream cracked with the pressure of the agony it was under. It pierced the surrounding houses and buildings only briefly, then faded like so many of the shadowy ghosts around him. Light felt his heart freeze. That had been Lawliet's voice. He just knew it in his heart. His blood ran cold as it carried the ice away from his heart and into the rest of his body. Lawliet had been shot.

_Oh God! Oh God no! No!_

His feet were moving before he was even aware of it. And a second later, he was running, racing toward the place he thought he'd heard the scream come from. There was no doubt now in which direction he would head. He headed toward his new goal with frantic terror. His shoes pounded the pavement, but not nearly as viciously as his heart suddenly pounded his ribs. Light had never known such terror.

_Lawli! Lawliet could be hurt! He…he could be bleeding to death!_ His almond eyes were as large as L's once were. They stared down the street straight ahead, searching wildly for the one he dared to admit to loving. He needed to find him, and he needed to find him fast.

But the streets were dark and it made things difficult to see. And within only a few seconds, a second street popped up to his right. Light wasn't sure if the scream had come down from this direction, or the one he was already heading down. Unable to stop his feet from running, unable to keep still, he headed straight. But then there was another street to his left, then another to his right. There were many of them. And there was no way to tell which streets L and Webber had run down. It was a city. And it was very easy to get lost.

Still Light ran. He ran as fast as humanly possible. His polished shoes clip-clopped down the Atlanta streets. But he didn't know which way to turn. He randomly chose right because that was where he thought he'd heard the scream. Then he chose a left. But his heart was pounding. And as in-shape as he was, his breathing began to grow heavy. His well-built chest heaved in and out as his caramel eyes searched every shadow, every silhouette he saw.

"LAWLIET!" His voice had burst out of him almost unwillingly. Almost as if someone else had screamed L's name for him. Certainly that panicked, terrified cry had not been his own. Still, if L heard him, he could call back to let him know where he was. Or if not, he would at least know that Light was coming.

Light had only been running a short time when he suddenly heard more screams. This time, they did not stop. There was one right after the other. A lower scream, and then a higher one. Light immediately assessed that L and Webber were fighting. And it must have been damned ruthless.

As much as this terrified him, it gave him a more solid direction. He headed toward the voices, his heart pounding. The cries lasted for several minutes. It was a blessing in disguise. Light knew he'd never find his way otherwise. He kept moving, pumping his legs hard. He had to make it in time. He _had_ to!

But then, to Light's utter dismay, the cries stopped. The night fell silent. That was the most terrifying thing of all. There was nothing. No screams, no cries of pain. Not even a car horn in the distance. The only sounds that greeted Light were that of his pounding feet and racing heart.

He gasped for air. Where were they? He guessed and took another turn to the right. _I have to find him. Time's running out! Someone's already lost the fight!_ And Light knew perfectly well who that was. L had lost. The chances of him winning were slim to none. And since he had heard no gunshot, it meant they were both still alive. _He's still alive!_ He thought desperately. _He's still alive!_

Light turned another corner, and it was then that he thought he heard something. Not another scream…someone talking…no, yelling! It was Webber, but he still sounded far off. Still, Light knew he was getting closer. He pushed himself harder. He had to keep up his speed! He didn't turn at the next intersection. He kept going straight.

_I'm coming Lawliet! I'm coming!_

The shouting had quieted, but now Light could hear other things, soft muttering, or murmuring. There was a sudden jagged laugh. It made Light's skin crawl as it echoed through the buildings, distorting its source. It was like steel. It surrounded him, harassing him as he ran. But he clung to hope. He was close. Very close.

He'd been running past one of the many dark alleyways he'd already passed when he heard it, a soft, gentle and quiet sob. Light froze mid-step. He recognized that sound very, very well. His brown eyes widened suddenly.

There it was again. That soft sobbing. That heartbreaking sound. The one that wrenched Light's heart right out of his chest. The one that made him want to kill whoever caused that sound to surface. The one that made his insides tighten with the pain of simply listening to it.

The shock of hearing that sound here, in the dead of night on the streets of Atlanta had frozen him in place. Therefore, Light also witnessed the sounds that came next. It was Webber's voice…low, rumbling and sickeningly pleased.

"Oh come now cupcake…I haven't even really started yet…" Light's entire body turned to ice. His stomach turned. It wretched. He reflexively hunched over, ready to gag from the sudden lunge of his insides. But he somehow, through sheer force of will, suppressed the urge to throw up. If he did that now, his position would be given away. He had to think…

But it was then that the one thing in the entire universe that could have happened, to stop him from thinking, happened:

"…Raito…" The voice had been broken. It had been sad, devastatingly quiet. It had shaken as it uttered this one desperate name. It had been brimming with fear and agony. It was a voice that only shadowed the former strength it should have contained. And then following it…was more sobs. Those quiet, terrible sobs that Light hated so much.

It tore through Light so completely, so thoroughly that there was no possible way in heaven hell or on earth that he could think. There was no way to activate any sort of thought process after hearing such a horrible cry from the one person he had ever dared to love. No. There was no more time for a plan. No more time for thought.

"…Raito…" The sob came again. That begging, pleading voice. It tore at him. It ravaged his insides like a storm. Light immediately realized that L was desperately trying to call for help, but for whatever reason, he was unable to summon the strength necessary to make his voice carry. And so, it only came out in these quiet, forlorn whispers.

"Come on cupcake, forget about him. Why don't you start saying my name instead? Or…if you want…you can pretend I'm your Raito-kun…" Webber's voice was sickening. The joy in its lower tones putrid. He spoke to L softly, as if to a cherished lover. It made Light's insides burn.

Light's ice melted within a heartbeat of feeling that heat. And the very next heartbeat sent a wave of deadly fire through him. It washed over his body, ripping through any kind of restraint he may have contained. It burned and ate at every muscle, every pore. It consumed him. His sudden and terrifyingly powerful rage boiled inside of him. Webber would die. He would die for forcing Light to listen to L's broken cries. He would die for making L utter his name under such horrible pretext. Webber would die for causing L pain, for taking the smile Light had worked so hard to place on his face away. Webber would suffer.

Without even a second thought, Light stepped off of the street and into the alleyway. But even fueled by such unstoppable rage, he had not been prepared for the sight that met him.

In the darkness of the alleyway, it was at first difficult to see. All he made out was a massive shape. But within only seconds of allowing his eyes to adjust, he realized the massive shape was Webber. His form was hunched over, his muscled back arched in the air. On his hands and knees, he held a much smaller person beneath him, pinned on his back.

And that was where Light found Lawliet. Even in the poor lighting Light could easily see the large dark welts on his pale skin. Even in the dark he could see the blood that was seeping out onto the ground. He could see the beaten marks on his bare chest, the knuckles that bruised his face and marked his body. His shirt had been torn practically to shreds, revealing almost every rib as L's chest rose and fell in desperation for air. He gasped wildly in his panicked state, his small form shuddering from the sobs that wracked him.

But of course, the thing that hurt the most, was his expression. He had his head turned away from Webber, his eyes squeezed tight. His face was warped into a terrible, wretched, grimace of agony. Tears glimmered in the faint light from the streetlamp at Light's back. They streamed out onto the concrete almost as quickly as L's blood. And as they did, his entire diminutive body trembled. He shook horribly, violently in Webber's grasp. He shuddered as if he were encased in ice. He let out another heartbreaking sob.

"…Raito…" he called desperately, his weakened voice growing ever more feeble with each cry. His eyes were closed. He didn't even realize that Light was standing right there. It made it all so much more horrible.

Webber, clearly had not noticed Light yet either. He was far too busy pulling off L's jeans. He yanked on them ruthlessly, tearing them off in a very violent manner. The only thing left in his way was a pair of blue boxers.

Well, Light had enough. Quite enough. Enough to make him wish he'd had the Death Note with him so that he could torture Webber. So he could make him suffer and squirm and writhe in agony before he finally died. Light would have tortured him for as long as possible before either his body gave in and let him die, or the rules of the Death Note would force him to kill him before the numbered days were up. Either way, it would have been more satisfactory.

But as it was, he had no Death Note. He had no weapon at his disposal. And because of his insane and complete madness, he did not see the gun in the darkness. He did not see that Webber had put it down and to the side. All he saw was Webber's thick fingers rising to L's trembling face. All he saw was the way he ran those fingers down his bruised jaw line and to his shuddering lips. Webber eyed L in the most sordid of ways, and then he started to lean in, determined to stain L with a touch of his vile mouth and tongue.

Light screamed.

All of the shock, horror and rage that had been swirling inside of him from the very moment he froze at the end of the alleyway exploded. And it ripped out of him in a cry so loud that it echoed off of the brick walls around them.

Webber jerked from the shock, pulling back up and away from L's face.

"What the hell!" But by the time Webber realized that Light had escaped and was the source of the agonized cry, it was too late. Light had already rushed in. Webber gaped, seeing little more than a black form rushing toward him. There was a CRACK and pain exploded in the side of his face.

Already weakened, and beaten pretty badly from his fight with L, Webber fell to the concrete with ease. He let out an "oof" as his large body hit the ground. He went to scramble to get up, but Light was fresh whereas Webber's strength was already exerted. He may have had the energy to hold down and torture a much smaller, weaker, beaten man who was bleeding to death, but he certainly was not prepared for someone who had no injury and had a fresh load of energy.

"_You fucking bastard!"_ Light screamed. He came down on Webber, hard. The man still being on the ground, it was quite easy to jump and land directly on top of him. Light's shoes dug in to the man's soft midsection with viciousness. Webber let out a scream of pain. But there was no way in hell Light was done.

"_You pig! You swine! You filthy rag of shit!"_ Light began kicking him while he was down. He did not let up. He dug his heel into the man's abdomen, his side, his ribs his face. But Light was not satisfied. He was not satisfied with Webber's cries. He was not satisfied with the quality of his screaming.

So he got down on top of the rapist, sitting on his chest. Light reached out, grabbing the front of his shirt. He hoisted his head up so he could get a better shot, and then curled up his other fist into a rock. CRACK! He nailed Webber in the face. Light brought back his fist a second time. CRACK! He struck him again. The third time, Light released Webber's shirt so that when he hit him again, his head was forced back onto the cement with another sickening CRACK!

With both fists free, Light went to town. His eyes were completely deranged. He knew somewhere in his clouded raging mind that he had lost it. He didn't care. Webber would pay. So he raised his fists and let them rain down. One right after the other. He struck him as cruelly as he could, longing for blood, driving for crushed bone.

"_Die! DIE!"_ Light hardly even recognized his own voice. Sure, he had said similar things when he was Kira. But he was not acting as Kira now. This was Light Yagami. This was all his own doing. Kira would have been content to stand at the entrance to the alleyway and watch as Webber did as he wanted to L. He would have been more than happy to be a witness to such an atrocious end to the once great detective. But not Light. Light would make Webber pay.

So entranced with his own fury, so enraptured with the violence he was involved in, Light did not hear L's weakened cries of warning. He did not hear as L tried to shout to him. All he saw was red. And he would make more red. Webber's face was already slick with blood. But he did not care. He would crush it so that no one could ever tell that there was once a man named Webber.

"Raito you idiot! Listen!" L cried again. But Light had gone deaf. He would not listen. L struggled to move. He had to find the strength. His body failed him. He had nothing left. He could scarcely move a finger. But…he knew he had to. Webber's hand was feeling along the ground, frantically searching for the gun. It was close by and in his reach. Webber was already blind from the abuse, so he could not see it, but L could. If Webber managed to get a hold of that gun, Light was dead.

"Raito!" L cried again. But even his voice had no power. The pain was great. His entire body throbbed and burned. It hurt to even be awake. It hurt to breathe. His lungs were on fire.

Still Light did not hear him. Tears continued down L's cheeks. He seemed unable to stop them. His body trembled. He struggled a second time to move. Pain flared. L let out an agonized cry. His head swam and his vision spun. The very world became a sickening swirl of color and the next thing he knew, he was lax on the cement ground once more.

Slowly his vision started to clear. He looked up in horror. Light was still beating Webber, Webber's hand was still groping for the gun. L grimaced, his face twisting horribly.

_Please!_ He cried in his mind. _Please give me the strength!_ L called up on the powers within himself. He did not know where it came from. But the next time he struggled to move, he managed to do so. He crawled across the ground, his vision threatening to spin him into the concrete. He did not care. He forced his way forward, inch, by agonizing inch, until finally, he reached his destination. He reached out, grabbing the gun at the same exact moment Webber did.

Both were weak. Both were fighting for their lives. L grabbed it with all he had left, but the gun was slippery in his bloody hands. Webber yanked it free.

"Raito!" L screamed the warning again, desperate to be heard. And this time, finally, Light seemed to realize something was going on. Webber lifted the gun, aiming it blindly at the general area Light sat in. Light's almond eyes widened as he found himself face to face with the barrel of a gun. Light scrambled off of the man, ducking at the very last second before the gun was fired. There was a huge BOOM at it went off, it's bullet missing Light and colliding with the walls around them. It bounced several times around the alleyway like a ping-pong ball, and then headed out into the night.

"Shit!" Webber aimed blindly from his place on the ground once again, searching for the source of the vulgarity. He fired a second time. Light dodged, the bullet having barely missed him. The brick behind his head exploded in an array of red dust.

Knowing quite well that he had little chance of hitting Light while blind, Webber took the next best step. He lashed out, knowing exactly where L was from their struggle with the gun. He grabbed him, brought him in close, and then jammed the barrel of the gun up against his head.

"Freeze you little faggot!" Light did so immediately, his eyes widening at the sight of L with a gun against his skin. "Here's the fucking deal! Since you can't seem to follow directions! I get to kill you now! You're going to stand perfectly still and let me shoot you! I'm bumping you out of the picture since you seem to be such a fucking pest! I don't want any more interruptions! So you die!"

"What the hell makes you think I'm gunna-!"

"Let me finish hot shot! You die right now, or I kill L. If I can't have him, no one will. He'll die as the virgin he is. A nice, untouched, twenty-five year old virgin!" L's face grew hot, which was an amazing feat in itself; since he was sure his body didn't have the blood left to supply a blush. But there it was. He glanced embarrassingly to the ground. Light glared.

"You wouldn't kill him!"

"In this situation I would! I seem to be beat! But not when I have the gun! Someone's got to die. If you sacrifice yourself, I'll spare little L. How's that sound? After I kill you, after I have my little party with L, I'll let him live. I can do that because he's technically dead! He can't go to the police and tell them what I did. They'd find out who he was and arrest him. They'd kill him. So I can afford to let him survive." Light's face tightened. This was not good. Not good at all.

_Think Light, think! Don't panic! Stay calm. You can outwit Webber! You can save Lawliet!_

"If I'm dead, how the hell would I know if you spared L or not! You could do whatever you wanted!"

"Yeah. But at this point, you're out of options. You _have_ to take my word! If you don't, you can watch L's pretty head of black hair explode. Which sounds better to you?" Light glared. It wasn't looking good.

"**Raito, distract Webber. He's blind. I can remove the last three bullets in his gun even while he still holds it. And if not, than I can-!"** SMACK! L was struck suddenly and harshly with the very gun Webber held. The metal collided with L's head and it hurt like hell. He let out a weakened cry. Light noted with growing anxiety that L was fading in his strength and color. His normally pale skin was almost white now. He needed a hospital…and he needed a blood transfusion. If they didn't wrap things up shortly…well...Light didn't want to think about it.

_Distract Webber…_ But of course, he had to distract Webber without moving, or risking making him angry enough to shoot L. That meant he needed a topic of conversation. One that was interesting enough and captivating enough to hold Webber's undivided attention while L worked on the revolver.

Light needed to think about this only once. He knew exactly what topic would be most fascinating. He knew just what to say.

"You have no idea who you're messing with Webber. I'm Kira." Webber froze. His bloodied face moved slightly into what Light would have assumed would have once been an expression of surprise. But at this point, Webber was too messed up to be able to tell.

"Kira?" He questioned. At first he was silent, but then a low chuckle was born in the back of his throat. It jarred his body, shaking his shoulders. Then it came with much more force, roaring out of him with sudden and complete violence.

"Are you fucking kidding me? Kira? The Kira? I thought it was some chick in Japan? Didn't they already fry her?" It was working. The distraction was a charm. Light watched as L slowly lifted his hands up to the metal weapon aimed at his head. He moved very slowly, very carefully. He could not allow Webber to feel any sort of jostle or movement on the weapon, or he would know what L was doing.

"Yeah, that Kira. Only the one they arrested was an escape goat. I was the real Kira. L and I framed Misa so that we could escape our lives in Japan. Didn't you ever wonder why L was suddenly living in America with some kid from Japan?" Webber's smile remained on his face.

"Yeah. After I met you, I knew it was because he was a fag. I assumed he fell for some twerp. But Kira? That's too outrageous to be true. If you're Kira, why didn't you just kill me back in the basement? Why don't you just kill me now before I force you're little lollipop to eat a bullet?"

"I said I _was_ Kira, idiot! I gave up my power for L. Because he asked me to." This evoked an entirely new round of laughter. Webber's loud and violent type of laugh seemed to be making it hard for L. The gun was moving all about and it was difficult to get his hands onto the barrel while it was moving without Webber noticing.

"Oh, if this is true, then it's too fucking hilarious! L, you have to confirm this for me! Is this for real?" L was silent at first. His hands froze, his fingers just having touched the metal of the barrel. He dared not move.

"…yes…" he whispered. Light frowned. His voice was fading much more rapidly than he was trying to show. "…Light was once Kira…" Webber exploded into another fit of laughter. It was clear he took great joy in this new development.

"Oh this is too good! It's too good! The great Kira is a fag! Ha ha hahaha! And not only that! But he's powerless to save his boyfriend! He's utterly useless!" Webber's body jostled back and fourth. L tried to remain still until he settled, but he wouldn't seem to stop laughing.

"And more than that is _you_ L! What a piece of work you are! You're sent to Japan to capture and arrest the most violent murderer on the face of this planet and then what do you do? You go and fall in _love_ with him? HA! This is better than any soap opera! The great L, the greatest traitor of mankind! The biggest fag on the earth! The great L in love with the greatest criminal of all time! L in love with Kira!"

L could not help himself. Humiliation filled him. It had not been something he had been proud of doing. He had indeed failed at the detective he was assigned to be. He had indeed become the worst traitor of human kind, even if most people didn't realize it. He refused his orders. He freed Kira. He allowed Kira to live. And worst of all…he'd framed someone else. All because Light had touched his heart. L's face burned. It burned from the laughter that poured like fire from Webber's mouth.

Light trembled with rage at the mockery. He could take being mocked. He could do it if it gave L more time with the gun. But he hated to see L so shamed. He hated to see his pale face sink under the ridicule.

"Don't you dare listen to him Lawliet! You didn't fall in love with Kira! You fell in love with _me!_ Light Yagami! Don't you dare forget that!" L blinked, his large black eyes shifting slowly and weakly to Light's enraged face. He was hard to make out in the lighting. Especially since the only light source came from behind him. All L could see was his silhouette. And making it more difficult was his swimming vision. He was too dizzy to focus much any longer. Still…L heard his tones. Light was true and sincere. Through the pain and the fear, a slow, soft smile grew on his split and bleeding lips. That was right. He loved Light Yagami. It was Light he loved. Not Kira. He was sure it was just the blood loss mixing up his brain.

"Don't make me puke!" Webber cried. And finally, finally, he stopped laughing. His body settled. With no more jostling, L immediately got to work. As silently as he could, without moving the gun from his head in anyway, he started to open the barrel. Light knew he had to keep talking to cover any sound that L was making.

"Well whether you believe it or not, it's true. And even if I did give up my powers, I'm a lot more dangerous than you think!" Webber's grin remained. He was clearly not convinced, but Light wasn't trying to convince him of anything. He just needed to keep him interested and talking. And as L had said…Webber liked to talk. And as Light watched, L had smoothly and soundlessly removed one of the bullets. He kept it in his hand, not daring to drop it and make a clatter. Only two bullets left.

Light broke out into a sweat. If anything should go wrong…well…the barrel of that gun was being held firmly to L's skull. Even with the barrel of the gun open, it was a risk. If Webber discovered what they were doing, he could just snap it shut and pull the trigger.

"Dangerous? You?" Webber chuckled. "I doubt it."

"Really? You doubt your bloodied face? You're broken nose? How about your useless eyes."

"Shut the fuck up! L was the one who blinded me! You just helped the process along! Give our skinny little cupcake his credit where it's due!" L's nimble fingers worked on the second bullet. He struggled to pull it out without the use of gravity or tilting the gun. It was difficult.

"Enough chit-chat pretty boy! You die now, or L does. I'll have my fun, one way or the other." And then Webber moved his second hand. It had originally been holding L in place, but now he wrapped it around L's skinny form. Keeping the pale, exposed ex-detective in the crook of his elbow, he still had plenty of room for movement. Webber's thick, sausage-like fingers touched L's white skin, and slowly slid down the front of his bare body.

Light's anger flared, but he dared not move. Not when a gun was pressed to his head. L's eyes squeezed shut, but he couldn't move either. His hands were still positioned on the gun. But Webber's hand was sliding seductively and purposefully downward. It reached the elastic of his boxers and despite L's superb discipline; it was a lot to bear. He trembled once. Webber gently slid his fingers down beneath the cloth and despite L's willpower to be quiet, he was unable to stay still. Quite unwillingly, L flinched. The gun jostled. Webber froze. Light's eyes widened.

"…what the fuck was that?" Webber lifted his free hand, pulling it away from its forbidden areas. He lifted it to the barrel only to find it open. He let out a brief gasp of shock and surprise but almost as quickly as his shock arrived, it vanished into rage. "You little bitch!"

Light charged. He knew that this was it. He had to reach Webber now, before he snapped the barrel back into place, before he had a chance to kill his Lawliet. SNAP! Heavy hands rolled the barrel instantly back to where it belonged. Metal met metal. Webber grabbed L by the back of his hair and brought him in close. L let out a weak and barely audible cry as Webber's rotten breath washed over him. Webber snarled like a rabid beast. "Maybe you just want to die!" He lifted the gun, pressing the cold metal into L's cheek. "I'll just fuck your lifeless corpse! You're not worth this much trouble!"

THWACK! Light tackled Webber. He slammed the side of his body deeply into Webber's bloodied form. The gun exploded. Its shots resounded off of the walls and deafened the three duelers. L screamed. Webber fell to the ground, Light on top of him. Light grabbed Webber's hand, clawing it viciously. Webber yelped. Light snagged the gun. He grabbed it, spun it around, and then pointed it at Webber's face. It had all happened insanely fast.

"You fucking son of a bitch!" Light didn't even hesitate. He pulled the trigger.

Click.

Both Webber and Light froze in shock. Nothing had happened. Light pulled the trigger again. Click. Nothing. Light let out a small gasp of shock. He understood then. When the barrel was snapped back into place, it had rotated. The last bullet was now in a different place. There were five other chambers it could be in now that Light had found two blanks and the third had been fired.

Webber let out a furious growl, and then lunged. He grabbed onto the gun. Light let out a cry, but refused to let the weapon go. Whoever won, would live. Whoever lost, would die. The two began to wrestle. Both hands occupied, Webber threw his weight forward. He collided into Light, shoving him backward with his sheer size and muscle. Light fell back onto the concrete. Webber's weight crushed into him, but he did not care. He was here to save Lawliet, and that was just what he would do. He lifted his knee, cracking it into Webber's middle. Webber let out a cry and his grip weakened. He had little hope. He was already far too weak to fight Light after the previous two beatings he took. Blinded, he had no chance.

Light wrenched the gun out of his hands. The gun was free. Light immediately jumped to his feet. He hurried out and away from Webber so that Webber could not come after him again. Blind, he wouldn't know which way to turn.

Webber got to his hands and knees. He sat there for a few stunned seconds. His entire demeanor, his entire personality seemed to change right before Light's eyes. His angry, sinister face slackened. His wicked grin vanished. Even his snarl disappeared. Underneath the mutilation of his skin, his face became something close to fear. His blind eyes widened as he realized he'd been defeated. He hadn't the strength to tackle Light again. With the gun gone, with his strength gone and with his plans gone, he was left with nothing. Light had the strength, he had the gun. Light was now in charge. And Webber couldn't take that control away from him. He couldn't take back his power.

His large body began to tremble as the shock of being beaten hit him. He knew as well as Light did that he had no hope of surviving this encounter. He would die. Light would kill him. All Light had to do was pull the trigger perhaps five times. It wouldn't take much more time than pulling it once. It was all over. Webber had failed to complete his plans yet again. His prey would escape. He would not get to have L. He would not get to touch him, hurt him, _take_ him for his own. It was a broken dream.

"No! No!" Webber suddenly screamed with desperation. His cocky attitude and confidence melted as if it were sugar in the rain. He scrambled away from Light and backward to where L lay on the ground. He remembered where L lay. He knew where he was, even in his blinded state. He swore that if he could see nothing else, he could at least see L. Webber clawed his way desperately toward him.

"He's mine! _Mine!_" Light's eyes narrowed. Even in his defeat, Webber was as disgusting and as putrid as ever. Eager to keep Webber away from L, Light aimed at the worming form on the ground and pulled the trigger. Click. Click. Blanks. Light let out a frustrated snarl.

Webber reached L's fallen figure and stretched out his hands. He grabbed L, pulling him into his grasp. Webber hoisted L's form up and into his arms. And there he sat with him. But something was terribly wrong. L let out a weak hardly audible groan of misery as he was lifted. And his body gave no resistance, as he was touched. His arms fell limp to his sides as he was lifted. His head lolled back, his mop of black hair throwing itself backward and down L's neck. He looked like a life-sized rag doll.

And there, staining his perfectly white body, was even more blood than before. It oozed from his shoulder, dripping down his slack arm. It carved trails across skin that had become paler than snow. It dripped to the concrete with a 'plink' 'plink'. And even over Webber's labored and erratic breathing, Light could hear it. L had been shot a second time. The stray bullet from Light and Webber's struggle must have hit him.

For just a moment, Light allowed the shock to take him. L was not moving. Even as Webber grabbed his small form he did not move. He was completely slack in his attackers arms. His hands and fingers like string at his side. The only indication at all that he was even conscious was his half-open eyes. They stared out almost blankly through their exhaustion.

Webber didn't seem to care. He didn't care for L's condition. He didn't care that his prized quarry was not even able to be a satisfactory victim anymore. Webber's eyes were wild, desperate. He seethed through his injuries as he clutched L's limp and nearly naked body. He stared out at the place he thought Light stood in a deranged way.

"He's mine! I earned him! L Lawliet! The greatest detective! He's mine! I worked hard! I know just how to do it! Fifteen boys before him! But they were just practice! L is the prize! My prize! I want him! Twelve years old! So smug in his chair! So much better than everyone else! Smarter than anyone, even the most experienced police investigators! And he was only twelve! You should have seen him! Sitting there like a fetus, all curled up! Munching away on a bowl of chocolate ice-cream! Softly speaking orders that everyone would follow! I _want_ him!" Webber screamed. Light took a few steps forward; just to make sure he wouldn't miss. Just to make sure he wouldn't hit L. It was a clear shot. Webber's head only a few feet away.

"He was pale! Skinny! Weak! He acted like an adult, but I saw the truth! I saw him suffering! Each and everyday I saw him suffer! I watched them abuse him! I watched them treat him like a machine! Like he could do everything all by himself! But he was really just a kid! I knew he put on a tough front in order to survive! But inside he bled! He was bleeding! I saw it! He was small and fragile and tender! But he had that tough attitude. I knew that wasn't the real him! I had to see the real him! The child inside! I had to see! Can't you even understand? I want to touch him more than anything! I want to see L the way he was supposed to be! I want the child inside! I need to go inside! I know that child is still inside of L, even now, suffering! I need to touch it! I need to go inside! I want him! I _want_ him!"

"I won't let you touch him," Light said. His tones were cool, cold. Unlike his rage from before, Light now knew exactly what he was doing. Even as disgust and revulsion rose inside of him, he kept his cool gaze. Even as his insides squirmed at Webber's words, he kept himself steady. Webber was sick. And Light knew he needed to end him. He needed to shoot him and kill him. He needed to get his filthy hands off of his Lawliet. Webber stared blindly forward at the place he thought Light stood. His eyes bled as he started to suddenly cry. He was hopeless.

"_I want him!"_ He screamed it desperately as he clutched L's limp form. His thick hands squeezed L's thin arms. Webber clutched L to his chest, almost like a child holding a teddy bear in fear after waking from a nightmare. Light's unfeeling face did not move.

"Yeah well, someone else wants him now." Light raised the gun. He pointed the slick black object at Webber's head in a dooming manner as if it were an accusing finger. Then, he pulled the trigger. And this time, the gun went off. Webber's face exploded in an array of splatter and blood. With only one small, strangled gurgle, he fell backward and to the ground, his body collapsing. It landed with an echoing thud among the silence of the night. And as L collapsed beside him a smaller, lighter thud resonated the first.

For a second, Light simply stood there, the revolver smoking lightly in his hands. It rose slowly up and down, in tune to the rhythm of his breathing. He held that position, gun held out straight before him in a stiff arm. He stared at the body on the ground before him. He had never killed like this before. He had never witnessed the instantaneous consequences of death. He had never been privileged to the blood, the mass of bone and flesh that once had been a person. Even to him, a man who had killed thousands…this was a shock. Writing a name on a piece of paper was much different. It was drastically different from this.

Even if the man he had killed was Webber. Even if Webber deserved it, no, deserved much worse than a bullet to the face, it was difficult. Light felt numb. It was similar to the first time he had written a name in the Death Note. Only this time…there was no thrill. There was no voice telling him that this was good, that he should do it again, that all criminals should die in this manner. No. Perhaps…it was such a shock, because this was indeed Light's first killing. All the others he had written in the Death Note…those were Kira's victims. That had been Kira. But this man, this death, was all Light Yagami's.

His hand started to tremble, at first lightly, but then it became much more severe. But still he did not move. Light could have stood there in that position forever. He could have stood there, staring at the lump that was once Webber, that was once a man who could have, _would_ have raped his Lawliet. Light could have stood wide-eyed and in shock if it hadn't been for a sudden and weak groan coming from the ground and to his right.

L let out a diminutive, frail and pitiful sound from his place on the alleyway floor. The small sound grabbed Light's attention and he suddenly dropped the gun as if startled out of his daze. It clattered loudly, almost deafeningly like deadweight. It was as if the gun had once been alive, but now that it was empty and had fulfilled its purpose of killing…it was now as dead as the victim it had created. Light's horrified gaze shifted from Webber to L. His terrified eyes grew even wider still.

"Lawliet!" He raced to L's side, his heart still racing from all that he had witnessed and been through. Light stopped as he stood over him. L looked bad. Very bad.

His once smooth, pale skin was now covered in dark welts. Bruises decorated him as if he were a Dalmatian. Small cuts and vicious lacerations bled from several places scattered about his body. His knees, elbows and hands were skinned from his struggles on the concrete. His lips were split open and bleeding, one of his eyes was swollen. His nails were broken and bleeding along with the rest of his broken and bleeding body. The gunshot wound in his thigh continued to bleed…and it's newest partner…the gunshot wound in L's shoulder, bled even faster. L was more red than white. A small pool of blood started to grow underneath his body. Light's heart twisted painfully in his chest.

"Oh God! Oh God Lawli!" Light immediately fell to his knees. He reached out, gently touching the bloody wound on L's shoulder. L was too weak to even hiss out in pain. The best he could do was furrow his black eyebrows together and let out a feeble whimper. Light's eyes filled with tears. He knew then, that L was dying, and unless he got to a hospital immediately…he would never make it.

"H…hold on Lawliet! I…I'm going to get you some help! I'll get you to a hospital ok! Please! Ju…just hold on!" L's tired eyes shifted their unfocused gaze to Light's worried face. As always, his eyes were a deep abyss of shimmering black.

"…R…Raito…I…I knew…knew you'd…come…" The pain was too much. Light's insides writhed in agony. He could not stand to see L this way. He could not stand to hear him speak so softly, so faintly. Light let out a soft sob. L should never have been in a position where he was made to be so weak, so frail.

"Of course I'd come! I could have never let Webber hurt you!" Light's almond brown eyes softened with his pain and they quickly began to glimmer. "Don't try to talk!" It was an order, but L had always been stubborn. Perhaps even more so than Light. As such, he continued his struggles with speech.

"Ra…Raito…" he mumbled. "I'm…cold…" Light's tears fell. They dropped from his grieving eyes like rain. They fell to the concrete, just beside L's blood. He immediately grabbed his light yellow button-up shirt and ripped it open, never caring for the buttons that had been popped or torn loose. He shrugged it off of his shoulders revealing only the white undershirt beneath it.

He gently reached out, taking L in his tender hands. Light very gently lifted L's upper body just enough so he could slide his shirt around L's shoulders. He compassionately lay L back down, and then folded the front of the fabric shut over L's small, bony form. The cloth was immediately stained, large red welts growing by the second. L continued to hold Light's gaze. And as the shirt was put around him, he slowly smiled through his pain.

"Y…you've always been…v…v…very handsome…R…Raito…" A stab of agony struck through Light so fast, that he hardly could have prepared for it. It sounded like L was saying goodbye. And Light did not want the sweet words he offered. Not now, in a place like this. Not in an alleyway with a dead corpse beside him. Not with the stench of the dumpsters wafting through the air along with the gunpowder and blood. He wanted them later on, when they were happy, in their apartment, or out on the day, on the beach or in a park where there was sunlight…and most importantly…a smile on L's lips. He did not want to hear these sweet words here. He did not want to hear any goodbyes.

"Shut up! Shut up Lawliet! You're wasting your energy!" Light had screamed it, his chocolate eyes squeezing shut. But L's smile did not falter or fade, even though the sharpness in his eyes did.

"You…s…saved…"

"Yes! I saved you! I know that! Shut your mouth! I need to think! I need to figure out how to get you to a hospital!" L tried to laugh. But instead, pain flared through the numbness and the steadily settling cold. He coughed weakly instead, his small body jerking under the pressure.

"Always…thinking…" Light's tears fell. L wished he had the strength to reach up and brush them away. He didn't want to see Light cry. "Raito…I've been trying to te…tell you…" The last of his strength was leaving him. He could feel it. He was numb now. There was almost nothing left. He knew he had to hurry, or the message would never be said. He struggled to remain alert, to remain awake. He had to tell Light how much he loved him. He had to. But his eyelids were heavy. It was hard to fight. They kept closing against his will as if they were made of lead.

"Raito…I…I…" He could not get the breath. He could not find the air. His eyes were closing on him. His lungs felt full. Oxygen would not enter them. He barely had the air he needed to speak. "…I…lo…love…" But it was no use. His voice choked itself off. His weariness seized him. His body shut down.

Light waited for the rest. Waited for the last word that he knew L was trying desperately to say. But it did not come. L's eyes closed, and his body suddenly fell still. Silence settled in the darkened alleyway. Even the wind that had howled just a few hours before had fallen still. The silence was like a muffling cloud. Nothing could escape it.

"La…Lawli?" Light murmured L's new pet name softly, tenderly, trying to evoke some sort of response. But nothing came. Not even a crow cried. "Lawli?" He tried it again, as if it were some magical key that could bring his potential partner back into consciousness. But L did not stir. His wide black eyes were shut.

"Lawliet!" This time it was a demand. A demand to hear the rest of the message. But a demand worked about just as well as a soft request. L did not move. Terror pierced Light's body as if he were made of butter. For a moment he almost panicked. His thoughts almost spun wildly out of control. His heart screamed in terror that L was dead.

_No! No! Stop! Think! You know what to do, check him! Make sure!_ Light lassoed his mind, yanking it violently back into place. It was up to his brain to keep his heart from careening out of control. It was up to his brain to keep him together and in one piece. There was no way of knowing if L was really dead unless he checked. And if he was still alive…then Light could save him.

Light forced his unsteady gaze to L's bloodied face. He sure as hell looked dead. Light shook his head back and fourth wildly, his caramel hair waving in all sorts of directions as he did so.

_Stay focused! Stick out your hand, feel for his heart._ Light obeyed himself and carefully held out one hand. He immediately noticed that it trembled. And the moment he noticed that, it began to shake even more wildly.

_Stop it! Be a man! It's up to you to save Lawliet! He's fine! You'll see._ Trusting himself yet again, Light reached out his trembling fingers. He quickly, pressed two of them against L's soft and slender white neck. He was warm…

Light felt heat coming to his cheeks. He blatantly ignored it. He instead focused on the feeling in his fingers. He waited for a pulse.

There! He felt it! There was indeed a pulse. It was weak, and quiet as it stayed hidden beneath Lawliet's skin, but it was there, and it was steady. He was alive. Light let out a strained and broken laugh of relief. _Of course Lawliet's alive! He wouldn't give up that easily!_ Light rejoiced silently. Now all that left was to…

"FREEZE!" Light jumped nearly out of his pants as terror pierced his body. He spun around to see three silhouettes against the orange glow at the front of the alleyway. He also saw guns. His caramel eyes widened. Who were these people? Why did they want to kill him? Were they with Webber? No. Or…if they were…they were after Lawliet, not Light Yagami.

Light's eyes narrowed suddenly and dangerously. L wasn't dead yet. And there was no way in hell he was going to let him die. Not after he'd finally saved him. Not after there was a chance at getting him to a hospital. Light stood up immediately, steel in his weary eyes. He didn't know how much more he could take without cracking. This night just would not end. It continued to torture the misfit couple.

"I won't let you near him!" He stated it boldly, almost stupidly to the three, armed people at the entrance to the alleyway. Light spread his arms protectively, blocking the way to L's fallen form. The three black shadows seemed suddenly confused and hesitant. They kept their guns trained on Light, but they didn't make a move.

Then suddenly, the smallest shadow in the center lowered its weapon.

"Light Yagami?" Light blinked, realizing then that the voice belonged to a woman. He hesitated. Were they looking for him? Did they figure out he was Kira? Had they come for his head to arrest him? What about L? _Should I lie?_ His brain had just started picking apart the answer and trying to determine who these people were when the woman spoke again.

"It's ok. We're the good guys! Watari sent us." Light blinked into the orange glow.

"Wh…what?" Watari? Light recalled having told L to call Watari for help back during the ransom call. Were these people really with L and Watari? Light's eyes narrowed; there was really no way to know for certain. What if they were with Webber? Light was far too frantic; he'd been through too much to think clearly.

The other two people put their guns down as well. The lead woman glanced around the alleyway.

"I see you brought down Webber already. Is he dead?" Light was feeling rather numb. He nodded in a daze. The woman sighed, and then stepped further into the alleyway. Her two consorts followed her. Once they stepped into the same patch of darkness that L and Light were trapped in, Light's eyes were able to adjust. He immediately saw that there were two men and one woman. They wore swat team uniforms complete with bulletproof vests. But all three were unmarked and had no badges. They could have been terrorists for all Light knew. They started to walk over and Light immediately stiffened and reaffirmed his position. He spread his arms even wider.

"Stop right there! I won't let you closer! Prove you are who you say you are!" The woman at first looked annoyed, but then her face suddenly slackened and a small, kind smile formed on her face.

"…I didn't believe Watari at first…but I guess it's true. You sure are acting like you're L's lover." Light's face fell to shock and heat immediately overtook him. _Lover?_ He gaped at the squad. His heart let off a jolt at the shocking statement.

"Watari relayed the conversation he had with L over to us. He informed us of everything that was going on and sent us to assist L in his rescue mission. He told us that L wouldn't stay put as told and would probably go after Webber himself after the hour was up. He told us he would do this because…L had fallen in love with someone. Watari said…L had fallen in love with the victim, Light Yagami. I assume that's you?"

Light was completely speechless. L had said that? L had said he loved Light? He admitted all of this to Watari? Over the phone? When they hadn't seen or spoken to each other in months? L just went and broke the news to his guardian cold turkey?

Light couldn't ever imagine telling his father that he was gay. But L had done it as if it were an everyday matter, like talking about the weather. Was he that brash? Or was it that he didn't care what anyone else thought? But that didn't make sense. If L cared about one person's opinion in the entire world, it would have been Watari's. But then again…perhaps at the time, L hadn't cared how Watari would have reacted. L had been desperate for help. He needed Watari's assistance in order to rescue Light and then escape alive himself. He would not have allowed Watari to say no, or act in a way that may have wasted time. And in order to explain to Watari why he would not follow procedure or the logical rout of action…he would have had to have told his old guardian his true feelings.

Light's face burned. It was flattering and stunning all at once. And now, not only did Watari know their little secret, but the three strangers before him with guns knew as well.

_So what?_ He told himself firmly. _So what if they know? It's true isn't it? And there's no need to be embarrassed. No! I'm proud! I'm proud to be honored with the responsibility of being worthy of L's love! And nothing else in all of the world has felt this right to me! I love him and no one can change that._

"Watari was quite shocked from what I heard," the swat team agent said. "But L was in trouble. He never would have let L suffer, no matter how shocking the news. So he sent us here immediately, but no one was at the address we were given. We heard the screams and followed them here." Light still said nothing and he was too stunned to stand down. Still feeling uneasy, Light kept his stance before his fallen partner. The woman swat team member smirked.

"You can put your arms down. We're not going to hurt L." Light slowly and hesitantly lowered his arms from his defensive position. But he still did not leave L's side. Their story made sense. And they wouldn't have been carrying IDs if they were a special team sent by Watari. Light decided…he would have to trust them. He had no choice. They had to help L as fast as possible and Light had no car and no phone. He had no way of getting him the help he needed.

The woman gave a curt nod toward Light out of respect as he stood down, then gestured her two teammates to Webber.

"Take out the trash. I'll see how L's doing." Her team nodded and then hurried to Webber's body. The woman walked toward Light. Light quickly stood aside to let her through.

"He's hurt, very badly. He…he's been shot. He's bleeding to death! We…we need a hospital! But…his name…we can't…"

"I understand. It's too dangerous to admit him to a public hospital. If you and L are discovered you'll both be killed. Don't worry, Watari set everything up. L has friends here, even if he didn't believe he did. Some of us don't care what he's done. We're still loyal." She knelt down by L's side and looked him over very quickly. Her smile vanished as a look of worry overtook her. "He's in bad shape…"

"Yeah! That's what I just said! Come on! We have to hurry!"

"Keep your pants on sparky. We have it under control." She grabbed a walky-talky out of her belt and quickly pressed the connection. "We need an ambulance at current location ASAP! We were too late! I repeat! We need an ambulance ASAP! We didn't make it in time!" She released the button, and then turned to look up at Light. She noted his completely terrified face.

"It's ok Light. You did good. In fact, you did excellent. You saved him. If it wasn't for you, I'm sure L'd be dead. He'll be ok now. He's not a quitter. He'll be ok." The tension in Light's body started to fade just a bit. Tears re-entered his eyes. That was all he wanted to hear. _Lawliet will be ok._ His chest tightened as his eyes burned. They brimmed and a fresh batch of pearls rolled their way down his cheeks.

"Thank God."


	26. Personal Projects

Author's Note: Alright ladies and gentlemen! We are at the bitter end here. This is our second to last chapter. There's only one more after this. So brace yourselves! I apologize for not updating sooner. I flew into NY from Atlanta in order to visit my family for Christmas and New Years since I'm still unemployed. I had plenty of time to review my life and what direction I want to head in. Plus on top of that, my first pet I ever had, my cat Oldie, died on Christmas day. So it seems my bad luck isn't done with me just yet.

But there is good news! Very good news! My children's book is finally up and ready to be purchased. Unfortunately, I couldn't afford to produce a hard cover which is what I really wanted. It would have been an extra $200. So it is a small soft cover. It's prices at $19.99 and you can find it on Just click "books" in the search bar, then type in my name "Natalie Gabrielsen." That's SEN not SON. Common mistake. Do not put "Through The Woods" in the search bar. I'm not on the first page and it can be difficult to find. If you put in my name, I'm the first and only book up there.

At risk of sounding desperate and annoying, PLEASE buy my book! If you have little siblings or cousins between the ages of 2 and 5 it would be perfect for them. It's fully illustrated and helps to teach both colors and counting. And of course, it's also adorable. LOL! Anywho, that's my shpeel for now.

I'm still working on my novel. I'm typing away at chapter four! It's moving along nicely. Anyway, enjoy this next chapter. It's fulfilling.

-------------------------

Light wanted to die when he saw L lying in his hospital bed. No…he didn't want to die…he wanted to kill Webber, again. He wanted to get a second chance at killing him. He wanted to get the chance to make him suffer. To make him suffer the way L suffered. To make him feel the same fear, the same terror and anguish L must have felt. To make him feel the humiliation and loss.

Light found himself wishing that Webber were in hell. If he was in hell, then he was paying. He was paying for what he'd done, not just to L, but to all those boys before him. Maybe…just maybe…Webber was being forced to feel the pain Light was feeling at that very moment. Maybe he was being forced to endure the anguish. Maybe he would break, because Light sure felt like he would. Light could scarcely stand to be here. The pain was too great. It was almost too much to gaze down at L's diminutive form as it lay still as death on top of large white cushions and sheets.

L's small form had been broken and torn. His fragile bones had been shattered. His pale skin had been ripped, his blood stolen from his veins. He'd been bruised and beaten. Even after the doctor had patched him up and cleaned him…L still looked like death.

He'd been given a blood transfusion. He'd been through surgery to remove both bullets. He'd been stitched back together. His broken bones had been set and then plastered. His more minor wounds had been washed and drained. He'd been sanitized and scrubbed clean. Then he had been dressed in a paper gown and placed into this room next to the window. Then he had been stuck with needles, injected with medicine and invaded by tubes. He was hooked up like a piece of hardware, given a staggering amount of drugs, and then he had been left all alone. Their jobs done for the moment, the nurse, doctor and surgeon, hired by Watari to save L in secret, abandoned their patient. And so Light sat alone in the little white room, secluded from the rest of the secret base they were being kept in.

Light stared at his unconscious partner. How he loved him. He loved him so much. So much that it hurt. It physically hurt. Light could barely breathe. He could barely get air into his lungs at the sight of L so destroyed.

Light remembered very clearly the first time he had felt this way. He remembered very clearly the first time he had seen L lying in a hospital bed, helpless and weak. The feelings were the same. Deep and agonizing guilt flooded him. This was all his fault. Granted that this time around, L was not here because of Light's own hands. At least this time Light hadn't tried to strangle the ex-detective, but it was still Light's fault. He'd been used. Used as bait to lure L out into the open. He was the reason L had suffered, the reason Webber had a chance to beat him, strip him down to his boxers, and very nearly touch him.

Light's mouth twisted into a knotted grimace. It didn't even begin to help him express the anguish he was feeling. If it hadn't been for him…if he had been more careful…taken care of Lawliet better…none of this would have happened. None of this had to have taken place. L didn't have to suffer again. He didn't have to go through all of this over and over like some sick rollercoaster that wouldn't let him off. It was almost like L was cursed. And Light was painfully aware that he was not the cure. He couldn't be. Not if this happened while they were together.

"Oh God Lawli…" Light wasn't really aware of how quickly L's new nickname ceased to be funny. It had just been a joke, something to lift the mood. But now…somehow, it was perfect. There wasn't a hint of a joke left in it. It was a name that was his now. Maybe a situation as serious as this one was able to make things like that happen as fast as lightning. It sure as hell felt like a year since the sun set. This one night had lasted for an eternity. Webber had managed to do all of this, all of this damage in only one evening.

It was only twelve hours ago that Light and L were in the grocery store shopping for dinner. It was only twelve hours ago that they met the crazed lunatic. Light remembered very clearly how upset L truly was, how terrified he had been. Light had held him in his arms. He had taken him to the aquarium after hours. L shared his tale, exposed the secret behind his bare feet. And then…they had grown close in only a single moment. They had shared their first kiss. Then there was the plan to move, to run away again. There was packing, preparations, plans, phone booths, and all in the dead of night. Kidnappings, ransoms and threats. Yes…it had all happened so fast. But it had felt like an eternity.

Light knew that he and L were in an entirely different place now then they had been twenty-four hours ago. Divulging the deepest of secrets, being faced with the worst of fears, and being put through more terror and trauma than ever imagined was a fast way to get people to grow together. Nearly losing L cemented Light's feelings into solid stone. He could not, would not lose him. He felt sure he couldn't survive without him. Not after nearly watching him die. Not after seeing him suffer so.

Light's urges to hold L, to protect him and keep him safe were overwhelming. And it was agonizing, because he knew he had failed. L had not been kept safe. He had suffered greatly. He had suffered his most deep and darkest fears. And Light had not been able to stop it.

Overtired, exhausted and far beyond stressed, Light had no hope of holding back his tears. He didn't care to even try. He didn't care if anyone saw. They rolled down his face like dewdrops. They fell like beads to L's white bed covers. Why did it always end this way? Why did it always end with L being hurt so badly he needed to be put into the hospital?

Having not slept in over twenty-eight hours, Light had no hope of answering his internal struggles. He honestly didn't even care to try. He didn't want to do anything. He didn't care about anything. All he wanted was to see L wake up. All he wanted was to see his large black eyes open and focus on him. He wanted to see him smile.

But Light knew L wouldn't smile when he woke up. He couldn't. He'd been hurt so badly. Light had failed him. How could he smile again after this? How could it even be possible?

This was what tore him apart the most. Light had worked so very hard to make L happy since they moved to America. He'd worked nonstop to ease his pains, to cure him of his afflictions and hauntings. He had done his very best to please him, to keep stress far from his pale face. And in the past few days before Webber's arrival, Light had succeeded. He had managed to get L to trust him, to open up to him. Light had actually managed to make the gloomy ex-detective happy. He'd put a smile on his thin lips. And Light couldn't recall L ever looking more beautiful than when he was smiling.

But all of that was over now. It was ruined. Light had failed. All the joy and happiness Light had tried to bring L had been robbed out from underneath both of them. What did they have now? Now they had nightmares, pain, desecration. How would L ever survive? Light understood now, just how much L had suffered in the past. He understood just how hard his life had been. So then how? How could L pull through yet another tragedy? L was strong, Light knew, even fierce at times. But Light also knew that L was fragile. He was sensitive.

Light let out a sudden tortured sob. He did not care what he looked like. He did not care to keep quiet. This was his L lying in this bed.

"Lawliet, I'm so sorry!" He let out another pitiable sounding cry. Then he sank forward in his chair and bowed down at L's bedside. Light rest his forehead on top of L's sheets just next to his thin form and there he let himself fall to pieces.

Light let his tears soak the covers. He let his sorrows flood out of him like an ocean's tide. He let it hurt. He let everything he'd ever done hurt. He wanted to feel it; he wanted to let the pain ravage him, because somehow, it made him feel a little better. It made him feel closer to L as he slept. It made him feel as if he were atoning. As if he were paying for all the torment he had caused L when they had first met back in Japan. It was a testament to how much he really loved him. It was a confession. If he let it hurt him now, then he could pay the price for the hurt he had caused L previously in the past. It was a trade. And if Light could pay the price properly, then maybe…just maybe L would be ok.

So he cried until his face burned. He let the tears fall until he was sure his fine Japanese features would ache forever. He never lifted his head. He kept his face pressed into the sheets. And slowly, somewhere through his tears and grief, his body forced him to take the much needed rest it deserved. So, hunched over, his head buried, his tears still falling, Light Yagami fell asleep.

Light slowly started to come into consciousness through a gentle feeling he had inside. For some reason, he felt at ease. He felt much better, even peaceful as he stirred. Something warm enveloped his resting head. And as he gradually came around, he felt tender fingers being slid gently through his caramel hair.

It felt good, very good. The touch was quiet, the fingers tender as they slowly slid through his locks. The nails of the fingers scraped casually over his scalp, sliding from the front of his bangs back across his entire part and then back to his neck. When the kind hand reached the end, it lifted away, and then was brought back to the front once more. It was magnificent.

"Hmm…" Light let out a soft noise of peaceful pleasure.

"Is Raito finally waking up?" The voice came in a small whisper as if its speaker didn't want to wake Light in case he was indeed still sleeping. But Light was not and the moment he heard the voice his brown eyes shot awake. He sat up immediately, abruptly, tearing his head out of the gentle hands that held him and up off of the mattress he had been lying on.

"Lawliet!" He sat up straight in his chair. His back cracked loudly and immediately sharp pain ran through his spine. "Oow!" Light let out a pain filled groan. He had not exactly slept properly. One hand went to his back as he winced. His eyes squeezed shut in pain; he was unable to see L. But the first thing he heard was a quiet chuckling. It came in L's usual form of bubbly delight.

"Raito slept in quite an ineffective position," he said softly. But Light immediately heard the joy in his tones. Disbelief and shock caused him to ignore his pain and open his eyes. He focused them on L, trying to rid the last tendrils of sleep from his mind. Yes. There L was, awake in his hospital bed. And…he was smiling. Light gaped, his mouth falling open.

"Lawliet! You…you're…" But he did not know how to finish his sentence. He was too stunned. He imagined L to be full of pain and misery. This happy, smiling, chuckling L was not a part of his earlier woes at all.

L still looked awful. A plastic tube was taped in place in his small nose. Bandages and gauze were taped tightly all over his body like patches. Bruises littered his skin as if he had been a dropped apple at the supermarket. His usually large eyes were much smaller as they lay only half open. They were weary. His black bags were twice as thick, and clearly the drugs had a strong grip on him. But still, his smile shone.

"I was so glad to see you unconscious at my side when I woke." He chuckled again, his tired eyes squinting shut. "You looked like a sack of potatoes." Light really didn't know what to do. He had been preparing himself for tears, pain, torment. He was prepared to hold L, to dry his tears, to let him sob on his shoulder. He had not been prepared for the smile he thought had been robbed from him.

"L…Lawliet! You…you look h…happy!" L's grin grew even further.

"Yes…and even though it might be a little bit because of the drugs, I doubt it is entirely the medications fault. I'm just so glad to be awake and alive and ok." He opened his black eyes, letting them focus solely on Light's worried face. And despite pain medication, Light saw that L's eyes were as deep and as sincere as ever.

"I'm happy to be alive. So happy. You see this is a new feeling for me. I used to…long for death. I hated to wake and find myself alive. But now, I am here. I am here with you." Light's worry melted and a small scoff escaped him as an equally small smile found its way to his lips.

"…you're so doped up Lawliet. I don't think you even realize what you sound like."

"No…I wanted to tell you. I wanted to tell you all these things. So much is inside…" Light loved the feelings he suddenly had. He loved the ease he was settling into. But his first priority was L. And as much as he wanted L to continue and to say more, he wanted the moment to be perfect. He didn't want L to regret it later, or to not remember saying it.

"Lawliet…I know where you're going. I know what you want to say. But I really think you ought to wait until you're well enough to be taken off the pain meds. This is important to you. I know how scared you've been about us and about your feelings. I want you to say it the way you really want to say it. I don't want you to have any regrets. No matter how small. And…it…it's really important to me too. So, you're going to have to wait. Ok?" L's grin faltered and it slipped slightly from his face.

"No. I've been trying to tell you for so long. But something keeps getting in the way. Raito…if I don't say it now, something else will happen. Something will stop me. I want you to know. I have to say it now! There's no need to worry. I will say it again later, when I am well and up and about. Trust me Raito, I will say it many more times! It doesn't matter if this is my first. You have to listen." But Light was still wary. He shook his head.

"Nothing will happen Lawliet. I'll protect you. I promise. I'll protect you, unlike last time. I'll never let anything else happen ever again. I'll die first." L grew very quiet as his smile disappeared completely. It was true that he was drugged. But not enough to block his thinking capabilities all together. He immediately understood what Light was saying, even through the haze in his mind.

"Oh…oh Raito…no. No. Don't hold any guilt. There's no need for guilt. You've done nothing wrong…" Suddenly, and with almost no warning at all, Light slammed his fist into the armrest of his chair. He glared, his brown eyes filled with anger and resentment.

"How can you say that? I did _everything_ wrong! I was supposed to protect you! I was supposed to keep you safe! I promised myself! I promised that I would make you smile! That you'd never have to suffer again! I failed! I failed in every way! It's all my fault! If it wasn't for me…if it weren't for me you…you'd be safe!" His voice started to choke off. His throat closed. It made it difficult to continue. L's face crumpled as he saw such pain take over Light's features. He didn't want to see him in so much pain.

"Lawliet…if it weren't for me…Webber never would have gotten his hands on you. You wouldn't have been hurt. I mean _look_ at you for God's sake! Look at what he _did_ to you! Look at what happened! Lawliet, if it weren't for me…you never would have been through such hell!" He sank in his chair, the effects of the entire ordeal becoming dreadfully clear. He hunched forward, burying his face in his hands as his elbows rested on his knees.

"…you would have been safe…" At first it was quiet. L said nothing. But then, interrupting Light's grief, was a gentle touch to his knee. Light slowly lifted his face out of his hands. He glanced down to see L's pale hand. He lacked the strength to produce any sort of grip, but he had managed to lift his arm and rest his white palm on top of Light's knee. It was the most he could do. L was unable to move, and this was the farthest he could reach.

"…Light Yagami…how foolish." Light gaped. He blinked, his brown eyes lifting to L's weary, hazy face. "If it weren't for you…Webber would have raped me. He would have done all the things he promised me as a child. He would have destroyed me. I can tell you…that if he had succeeded…I would not have survived. Even if he did not kill me when he was through with me…even if he let me live…I never would have survived the ordeal. I'm certain…that my mind would have finally broken. I would have lost myself. I'd go crazy. They'd lock me up. All my nightmares would have come true. If not for you, Raito…Webber would have broken me." Light's face contorted. Anguish re-entered his tormented expression. L smiled softly.

"Because of you…Webber didn't even get the chance to touch me. He got away with nothing. He managed to scare me. That was all. You _did_ protect me Raito. And you did a damned good job of it." L's smile grew to reach his weary eyes and he let off another small bubble of laughter. "You were so gallant…"

Light's cheeks grew warm, and he knew he was blushing. He was just glad he didn't have to hide it anymore. In fact…he wanted L to see. And L did.

"See…it's not so bad, is it?" Light let out another scoff, but it turned into a sarcastic laugh.

"I think this should be going the other way around Lawliet. _I_ should be comforting _you_." L's smile remained firmly in place as he gave Light's knee a weak and shaky squeeze.

"Fool." He inhaled deeply through his oxygen tube, his heavy lids fluttering momentarily. "Raito…I wanted to tell you…"

"Shh…rest Lawli, you've been through so much." L let out another short laugh.

"Lawli…" he mumbled in an almost dreamy fashion. "…I love that name. It really…means something…" It was very clear to Light that L was getting even wearier with every passing second. Knowing how L's physical limitations affected him by now, and adding in the factor of a really rough night along with drugs, Light estimated that L would be asleep within another ten minutes. Maybe even five. He'd be awake for very short intervals for a little while until he started to heal.

Light reached out a hesitant hand. Then he carefully brought it down, brushing L's messy black hair away from his eyes. He very lovingly ran his fingertips lightly along L's white skin until the thick black strands of ebony were out of L's way. But Light did not stop once the strands were clear. He returned the favor L gave him by stroking his head gently.

"If you'd like, I can call you Lawli all the time." L smiled tiredly.

"No…use it when you deem fit. It tells me…just exactly when…you care for me the most."

"I care for you the most all of the time." L chuckled and did not argue. His eyelids fluttered a second time. It was easy to start falling asleep when Light's touch was so gentle.

"Raito…I…finished my research." Light wasn't exactly sure what L meant. Blinking, he looked to the weary detective.

"Research?" he asked. "For what?" L grinned in a triumphant manner. Dare Light say, it was almost even cocky?

"For my personal projects. You know, the ones you thought were boring. I had told you one of them. Do you remember?" It took Light a moment to recall what it was L was talking about. They had been through so much together especially the last twenty-four hours. It was hard to see through all of the adrenalin. But then, a light bulb clicked on.

"Oh yeah! You mean that silly idea you had about researching laughing!"

"Yes…my silly ideas…" Light suddenly hoped he hadn't hurt L's feelings by calling it that. But when he looked back at him, he still seemed content.

"So…what did you find out?" Light asked casually.

"I had five projects," L stared. "As you know the first was laughing. At first the purpose of my project was to find out more about laughing in general. How it affected others. I wanted to witness it in strangers as well as you and myself. But the more I started looking into it the more I realized that there was only one person I cared to see laugh." Light's cheeks grew warm for the second time in the past few moments. L smiled, clearly entertained by the pink coloring.

"That's right Raito…you were the only one. So…I changed my objective to suit my new goals. I took mental note of every time you laughed since I started my project. I then took note of what it was that caused you to laugh and what type of laughter it was that you were taking part in." L sighed. His small body seemed to sink further into the mattress as Light gently ran his hand through his soft hair, then back over his neck and ears.

"You laughed one hundred and forty eight times since I started. More than half of them were in sarcasm. But I noted that even when you were sarcastic, you seemed to get some joy from it. But it was the other forty percent that I was really interested in. That percentage was when you laughed unguarded. When you let yourself go without caring who was watching or what you looked like. And those times…for seventy two percent of those times…you were laughing…when I was laughing."

L's pale white cheeks suddenly grew to incorporate a light hint of pink in them to match Lights. That same dreamy look that he once wore in the aquarium came back to his hazy eyes. "And what was more…was that you always waited a split second to laugh…until you were sure I was laughing first. The reason you were joyed was because…because _I_ was happy. I think…I think that was when I knew."

Light could not stop it. The warmth inside of him was growing. It was flattering. Ridiculously so. The butterflies in his stomach, which he once thought was a caffeine buzz long ago, were flapping at full force. He swallowed, finding his throat suddenly dry. L was looking…very attractive. Even though he was bruised and beaten. He still seemed…alluring. Especially with that dreamy look on his face. Light's heart picked up pace. He dared not say anything that could interrupt him.

"My second project was about fun. I was not used to having fun. I did not know much about it. This project at first was a huge failure. My first few days were miserable, and I did not know how to have fun by myself while you were at work. But…after you got so worried about me…and bought me all of those things…I realized what I wanted out of fun." He lifted his black eyes, connecting them with Light's for the second time.

"I only had fun…when you were with me." L smiled wearily at the expression on Light's face. "And you seemed to have the most fun, when you were with me as well. I proved this by gathering my courage and going to the aquarium to watch you while at work. You held yourself as always, confidently, almost stubbornly. You were smiling…but only because it was required of you. It wasn't your real smile. I learned the difference while studying your laughter. But once I revealed myself to you in the underwater tunnel…once you saw me…your real smile came out. And for the entire second half of the tour…you were having fun. _Real_ fun." L's bright cheeks remained a light pink. They were soft, like his expression.

"My third project was relationships. But this one was very hard to research, because I didn't know what kind of relationship we had. I had given up on the idea of researching other people. I was no longer interested in strangers or what their relationships were like. The only relationship I cared about…was ours. I thought for the longest time, that what I was really trying to study was friendship. But it didn't seem quite right. I was confused. And…you seemed confused too. I didn't know how to draw a conclusion on this…until I told you about Webber at the aquarium. It was then that I understood what all of my strange feelings meant." L paused here. He gazed up at Light, his eyes seeming to flutter closed each time Light stroked him.

"Raito…I will need your help with my last two projects…" Light's hand stopped moving. He lifted it gently away from L's mess of black hair. He stared down into him, deeply. L was speaking more quietly as he went on. No doubt he was being exhausted. After all, he was talking in a great amount of detail and he had just been through so much.

"Lawliet…" Light said in an equally soft voice. "…I'll help you with anything you want." L grinned.

"Yes…I knew you would. Besides…you will enjoy helping me with my last two projects very much. Dare I say…you will take pleasure in it." Light's entire face flushed with fiery heat at that statement. He simply could not help himself. L's choice of wording was enticing. He felt certain L had done so on purpose. But he couldn't imagine why after what he had just been through. Still, Light found himself leaning in even closer.

"What…are your last two projects Lawliet?" L kept quiet for just a moment, clearly leading Light on. But then he parted his lips.

"I need to know more about kissing…and…love…" Light's pink face became a deep red. He was practically out of his chair at this point. He was leaned in so far that his hands had to be placed on either side of L's body, resting on the mattress for support. He kept his face just above L's.

"Kissing?"

"Yes…I'm afraid…I've only one experience of it in the past. And…I…liked it very much. But I realize that love is connected to this concept of kissing. So I suppose I should research both at the same time…" L was speaking very quietly now, almost whispering. It forced Light to come in even closer, just so he could hear him.

"Raito…" and now, he _was_ whispering, softly, as if about to tell a secret. "I enjoyed our time together at the aquarium. I…enjoyed it when you held me…when you brought me in close. I…found much solace and yearning in your kiss…I've never wanted something so badly before. I never wanted…_someone_ before." Light was brought in even closer by L's alluring voice. He placed himself mere millimeters from L's nose. He felt L's soft breath wash over him, and he was sure L was feeling his breath in return. Light's heart pounded.

"Raito…" L leaned up suddenly, placing his mouth by Light's ear. "…I love you." Light's almond eyes widened as he realized what had just happened. Even through L's drug induced state, he had managed to outwit him. But then again…it wasn't really an outwitting. L had simply used the truth. He had confessed. He had told Light all he knew and had felt about their relationship over the past few weeks. And in doing so he had drawn him in. L had made it perfect. Perfect in everyway. There was no possible way Light could argue against this. And in truth he did not want too. L had said it just right. There was nothing to fight against. L would not be sorry with this confession. It was worthy of him. Worthy of both of them.

"I _love_ you." L said it again with more strength in his fading voice. He said it with an air of tenacity as if these three words would have killed him if he did not say them again. "Light Yagami…Raito…" And Light could take no more. His thumping heart drove him. His urges forced him forward. He closed the space between them and leaned heavily into L. Light pressed his lips gently, but hungrily against L's. He kissed him with the same heat he had felt at the aquarium. He wanted him. And now, L had admitted to wanting him too. There was no better perfection than this.

Light wanted to continue, to kiss L for an extended amount of time, to show him just how much he was really wanted…but L fell slack in Light's arms, which had wrapped around his small form. He fell away, and after just their first kiss, Light pulled back to find him asleep.

Light was not disappointed as he expected. No. L was far too peaceful looking, far too serene to feel any sort of disappointment. He looked happy, and he smiled softly in his unconscious state. He was beautiful. A small smile formed on Light's still warm lips. Yes. It was indeed perfect.

Light gently moved his arms away from his sleeping love, letting him lay back down on his pillow. Then he gently reached out and brushed his dark hair away from his brow once more.

"Rest well…my Lawli…" He leaned in and tenderly placed a loving kiss on L's pale cheek. Then he pulled back and retook his position in his chair. He would not leave his side and he would be there when L awoke once again. Light would always be there.

-------------

Just a reminder, my children's book is now up and ready for purchasing. It can be found on Do a search under 'books' and type in Natalie Gabrielsen in the search bar. You'll see that it's the only book up there.

Also, there's one chapter left! Stay tuned for the last episode of Friend or Flame!


	27. After Glow

Author's Note: All right people, this is it! The final and last chapter to Friend or Flame. I could say a million things here, but I'll save it for the end of the story. For now, read and enjoy. I'll type your eyes off after it's all said and done.

-------------------------------

The jingle bells that were hung on the ice-cream shop door chimed merrily as its two most favorite customers walked inside. In with them came a gust of cold wind, which carried large fat snowflakes inside of the shop to invade the warmth that the heaters inside provided. But as the door closed, the bells fell silent and the flakes settled on the linoleum floor melting into dewdrops. But the sound of the bell alerted the tenant who worked the store and within only a second she was out of the back room and standing behind the counter, a true and genuine smile of merriment on her face.

"I should have known it would be you two! No one else is crazy enough to go out in the middle of a blizzard for some ice cream!" The young woman was only of about seventeen or so. She had shortly chopped copper hair and brilliant green eyes. But nothing was as inviting about her as her smile. She always appeared warm and friendly.

"Good evening Katie!" L lifted one hand into the air in his new odd way of waving. With bright red gloves on each of his hands, it looked even more eccentric than it had too.

L looked good. In had been four months since the attack. And in that time he had been sleeping and eating twice as well as he ever had. He'd gained a whopping five pounds and now rested only slightly underneath what the average healthy weight for someone of his stature was considered. He wouldn't seem to gain anymore, even with excess pampering. He had to explain to Light about how quick his fast metabolism actually was.

"Food moves through me too quickly," he had explained. "My body doesn't get a chance to absorb all the nutrients it needs." But even with his new found appetite, L never lost his love for sweets.

He and Light had moved to the sleepy little upstate New York town that they had discussed before leaving Atlanta. L's allies and Watari had offered to set them up in something similar to the witness protection program, but they had refused. L had deemed it safer to go to a place where no one knew of their whereabouts, including his allies. He did however inform Watari of their new location so that they could set up several emergency plans incase something like Webber ever happened again. Now if another enemy found out their new home, they were ready.

L and Light walked up to the counter. L limped ever so slightly, but it was hard to notice unless a person knew what they were looking for.

L had healed slowly from his injuries. He'd spent an entire month stuck in the makeshift hospital his allies had set up for him at their base. And after he was finally well enough to stand, he had to undergo agonizing physical therapy. Most of the bruises and broken bones he suffered from Webber's beating had healed nicely and with no issues, but the bullet wounds were more complicated. They had torn through muscle and tendon. They had to wait for his body to grow these things back. And once they were back in place, his muscles were weak from disuse. They were new and had never been used before. As such, L had to exercise them regularly.

There was much sweat and tears. But L had been courageous the entire time. Light had been at his side. Light had helped him through all of the difficulties he faced. He held him steady as he took his first few excruciating steps. And he encouraged him when it seemed like he couldn't go on.

By the end of the second month and into mid-October, L was well enough to walk on his own with assistance of a cane. It was then that they moved to upstate New York to start their lives over for the third time.

They moved into a small, but comfortable bungalow on the edge of town. It was perfect for two people who were just beginning.

"Lawliet, sit down. You walked with Light all the way here didn't you?" Katie turned to the plastic bowls she had just behind the counter. She grabbed up two of them. Light quickly waved a hand in dismissal.

"I won't be having any today Katie. I'm freezing. I know how strong Lawliet's love for ice-cream is, but even I was surprised when he suggested we go out in the storm." Katie chuckled.

"If I ever work a whole day and I don't see Lawliet in here, I'll know something terrible has happened." Light and Katie both chuckled. Light took a seat at one of the swivel stools at the counter. He looked to L. He knew he was tired. Even though he was nearly entirely healed, Light knew that a long walk like this still caused him some discomfort. Still, the doctor had said he would recover fully. In another month or two, Light was sure he'd be able to run anywhere he wanted.

"Lawliet, listen to Katie and sit," Light demanded. L frowned, his lips pursing.

"I don't appreciate the tone Raito. My leg's fine." Light knew he was lying. L was just being stubborn as usual. The only reason he refused was because Light had told him to be seated. Light stood up out of his stool and walked over to L's side. He stopped and simple stood casually, for just a few seconds to put L at ease. He watched as L's eyes shifted to Katie as she grabbed the ice-cream scoop. Once L was unprepared, Light suddenly reached out, wrapping his arms around L's small form.

"Wha-!" L cried in surprise. Light lifted him up with amazing ease into his solid arms. "Hey!" He ignored L's outburst and walked him over to one of the many stools. There he released him, plopping him down suddenly onto the swivel.

L stared mouth agape and eyes wide.

"Unfair!" Light grinned madly as Katie burst into laughter. Light walked to the swivel stool beside L's and sat down just where he had been before. He smiled at his wide-eyed love as he started to curl his legs underneath himself.

"Love you," Light said smoothly. L let out a 'hmph' and turned to look in another direction.

"Like that will make me forgive you." Light's grin remained. He knew L wasn't really angry. In fact, dare Light think that he enjoyed such games. Katie was still giggling softly when she faced the two with her bowl and scoop.

"So Lawliet, what flavor do you want today?" And just as if he had never been perturbed at all, he leaned forward in eagerness to answer, a small smile on his pale lips.

"Mint chocolate chip with dark chocolate mixed together please."

"And some hot fudge and whipped cream of course."

"Always!" Katie giggled once more, and then opened the ice-cream drawer in front of her. She bent to her task. Light couldn't help but to let his happiness overtake him. The town was perfect. As Katie had demonstrated to them early on after their move, very few people in the small town were judgmental of them and their relationship. In fact, many were supportive. They had made multiple friends over the past two months.

Light knew that the size of the town and its off the beaten path location had a lot to do with the ease of their new friendships. It was small enough so that most everyone knew each other, or at least recognized everyone's face as they passed by. And because there was less political pressure out in the middle of the upstate forests, people seemed to care less about things like gays and weather it was right or wrong. Light didn't really care about the gay movement in the first place anyway. All he cared about was Lawliet and making him happy. As long as the people here were friendly and didn't make L feel awkward, they would stay. And that was just how it happened. Everyone was open. There were only a few bad apples in the town, but they hardly ever bothered them. No one else seemed to mind. Besides, they didn't run around flaunting it. They pretty much kept to themselves.

"Here you go!" Katie handed L his masterpiece. L took it with a delighted look on his face. It certainly looked like the perfect Sunday.

"Katie, you're perfect at this," he complimented. Katie smiled brightly.

"I know!" L took his spoon and quickly dug into his mountain of cold sugar. He didn't hesitate to stick it into his mouth. Light watched, as always absorbed in the look of utter glee on L's face. He loved to see L's mouth curl up until his smile was big enough to bring a pink color to his cheeks. L swallowed and then beamed.

"Delicious!"

As the two headed back, Light realized that the blizzard was getting rather bad. The road that they had walked on that led from town to their house was blanketed in snow. There were already several inches on the ground, covering everything in white. The flakes that fell down from the deep soot covered sky were fat and solid. They came down by the hundreds making it difficult to see. Still, the path was straight and it was hard to get lost.

"I've never really been out in snow before," L said suddenly from his side. Light turned to look at him. He was cute. Very cute in his bright red scarf and gloves. His jacket was big on him, but it would keep him warm. With the scarf pulled up to his chin, all Light could really see in the blinding snow were his large black eyes and the puff of wild hair that marked his presence in such a whiteout.

"Really? I thought you solved cases all over the world. What about Russia?"

"Yes, I worked in Russia, but I never really went outside. I mean…I've seen snow. Plenty of it. But I never got to enjoy it before now." He turned to Light, his eyes squeezing shut at they smiled. It was automatic, Light's grin followed L's whenever he saw it. "Promise me we'll play out in the snow tomorrow? I want to make a snowman with you Raito." Light's grin only grew.

"Yeah, of course. Sounds like fun." Then again, everything was fun with L around. Even the simple things that he had once been too angry and absorbed to see. Light reached out his gloved hand and wrapped it tightly around L's. He gave it a squeeze. L smiled and squeezed back.

When they arrived back at their little bungalow, the first thing Light did after taking off his shoes was hurry to the fireplace. He immediately placed two fire-starting logs into the metal holder and struck a match. He was still in his coat and gloves. He didn't care. He needed the fire up and running by the time L removed his coat. L was small. He had little body fat to keep him warm. Even with his heavy coat, he'd been getting cold easily in the harsh New York months of winter. And of course…wearing sandals out in a blizzard was never the best thing to keep a man warm. But Light understood that L had little choice in what he put on his feet. Boots would have drowned L's pour-less skin.

"Raito you don't need to do that every time we go out…"

"Yes I do. You have nothing on your feet. You're probably freezing." L didn't argue as he removed his coat and hung it up on the coat rack on the back of the door. He carefully unwound his scarf and hung that up beside it. Then he removed his gloves and laid them on the floor just beside his soaked sandals. It was true…he was always cold when they arrived back home.

In his usual clothes of jeans and a long sleeves white shirt, L stepped onto the carpet of the living room and over to the orange glow of the starting fire. His feet were frigid, and it was easily seen by their red, raw coloring.

"You've got it going now, Raito. Go take off your coat." Seeing that the fire was indeed growing on its own now, Light stood back up from his kneeling position. He went over to the coat rack to undress while L sat himself down on the floor beside the warmth coming from the burning logs. As he undressed, Light glanced L's way. He saw him lean back so that his weight rested on his bottom so he could stick out his feet toward the flames. Yes, L's feet had to have been freezing. Light smirked suddenly as L started to wiggle his toes.

"Warm," L said softly. Light's grin remained. His love for L was flooding. He was especially adorable when he came up with new odd positions such as that. He turned away from L briefly and only for another second so he could finish hanging up his things, then when Light was done, he meandered back over to where L sat. For a moment he simply stood watching him. He was pleasant to observe. L, still wiggling his toes to warm them, glanced up at Light from his awkward position seated back on his rump, feet in the air.

"What?" Light shook his head, his chestnut hair falling just beside his almond eyes.

"You're still chilly?" L faced the fire once again.

"Just a little. No need for concern." But Light wasn't having it. He stepped away from L and the fire and over to the couch where he scooped a blanket off of its armrest. He unfolded it and shook it out. Then he wrapped the plaid pattern around the back of his shoulders. Once it was settled, he then moved back over to the fireplace and stopped and stood just behind L. L glanced backward and behind himself at Light as he stood with the blanket. L snickered.

"Normally, when someone is cold, you wrap the blanket around the person claiming to be so Raito. You don't wrap it around yourself!" L's dark eyes squinted shut as he smiled. Light didn't answer. He instead got down behind the smaller man and scooted in close. Light moved in until his chest was pressed into L's boney back. He moved in until he was as close as possible, his more disciplined body pushed into L's. He spread his legs and then slid in tightly so that L's rear was snuggled at the seat of his pants. Light kept each of his legs on either side of L's body, pressed into his sides in order to keep him warmer. Then he took the blanket, which was around his shoulders and he brought it up front, wrapping it tightly around L.

L's cheeks immediately reddened as his dark eyes widened. He had not expected Light to come in so closely. L's heart picked up pace as he felt Light's well tones arms wrap around him, tucking the blanket under his chin. He could feel Light's muscles in his thighs move as he pressed them against his sides. Most of all, he could feel the heat rolling off of Light's chest and into his back where he was resting.

"There," Light said softly. He leaned forward, resting his chin on L's shoulder. He breathed in deeply, taking in his scent. When he exhaled, his warm breath washed over L's ear. L swallowed harshly. He knew what Light was doing. And he also knew it was working quite well.

"Warmer yet?" Light asked softly, his lips just near the base of L's ear. L had to admit that he was indeed much warmer than he had been a second ago. The heat in his face was not just from the fire, or Light's body warmth. It wasn't even from the flannel blanket.

"I guess that's a little better," L replied. It was a little bit of a game. But the games they played now were much different from the ones they used to play with each other. Now…L actually enjoyed a little bit of teasing. Light inhaled deeply, L was sure just to make him feel how his chest expanded against the muscles of his back. Slowly he sighed, releasing his breath. L felt it gently tease its way through his hair. His heart gave off a sudden jerk.

L had felt these urges before in the past few months he had spent with Light. He had felt powerful things inside of himself that he never before realized he possessed. They were demanding feelings that he had a hard time controlling. But he had been nervous. Webber had frightened him. And as much as he hated it, he refused to give into his urges for Light while there was a single shred of doubt or anxiety on his mind. He wouldn't let Webber poison something as important as this. So even though he and Light had fooled around several times since his release from the hospital, they had yet to join together in that special way.

They hadn't spoken about it out loud. There was no need. L already knew that Light understood. He had to, or he never would have stopped so easily every time L asked him to. He would have insisted. He would have demanded explanation. But…he never did. He never pried. L knew that Light was waiting. Light was ready, and he wanted it more than anything else. He waited patiently. And L knew he would wait forever if L made him. But that didn't mean it would keep Light from trying. Light spent much of his time trying to entice L. Sometimes it worked. And at other times…it worked too well.

L felt his heart pound inside of his chest, as his face grew even hotter. He wanted Light too. He knew he did. His body told him so. He didn't want to wait forever. But he wouldn't rush it. Not just because Light felt the need to wrap him in a blanket and breathe hotly on his ear. It was no reason to jump into things.

At least…that was what his mind was telling him. His body and his heart wanted something else. He felt much less scared now than he did aroused. In fact…his entire body seemed to be heating up quickly. Any trace of his chills were long gone, replaced instead by fiery heat. He let out a rush of hot air through his mouth, knowing that it would be harder once his urges were stronger. And they were growing quickly.

"Damn you Light Yagami," he whispered. Light only grinned.

"What? It warmed you up didn't it?" L sighed.

"Too much…I'm overheating. That's just as dangerous as freezing you know."

"Ah, what a party pooper you are." But Light said it kindly and with nonchalant tones. He hadn't expected much. He just wanted to give L a reason incase he ever felt ready. "Still nervous? That's fine. Can I at least kiss you a little?" L blinked as he stared into the flames. Oddly…even though he had been thinking about Webber directly…he really didn't feel all that nervous anymore. He felt…safe. Yes, especially in Light's arms, wrapped in a blanket in front of a fire. He felt relaxed, happy, wanted.

Light shifted slightly, craning his head around L's shoulder so that he could see his face and expression. Light pouted much like a child sticking out his bottom lip as he offered L a pair of large, brown, puppy dog eyes.

"No kiss?" L looked to Light and let out a small snort of amusement.

"Raito! You're not a three-year-old!"

"No I'm not! I'm nineteen and I want a damned kiss!" Light leaned in suddenly, and out of sheer spirit, or perhaps spite, L yanked himself away from him.

"No! You can't just _take_ one! I have to _give_ it!" But L was laughing joyously as he cried out these words. Light chuckled at the sight of him, his grin growing wild.

"Well then give it already!" He grabbed L around his waist, pulling him in closer. L tried to pull away, but only did so half heartedly as he struggled. He fell backward onto the floor as he tried to scoot himself back across the carpet with his feet. But Light wasn't letting him go anywhere. Light was forced to the floor to L's level just so he could grip him by his wrists. Then he yanked the smaller man back across the carpet another foot toward himself. L squealed and kicked out playfully, but Light was already plopping his butt down so that he crushed L's flailing legs. L squirmed beneath him, still laughing from their play.

"You fiend!" The blanket that had been wrapped around them was now quite tangled. It lay haphazardly around L's left leg and then ran up and around Light's back in a twisted fashion. Their breathing slightly accentuated, the play suddenly stopped.

L's smile dwindled as he opened his large black eyes in order to stare up at Light. Light didn't move as their laughter faded away. It was easy to see the fire flicker its orange glow in L's large orbs. His heart gave off a thump. His blood pumped strongly through his veins. The silliness was gone and instead it was all suddenly quite serious. Both lay silently for what seemed like an eternally long second, the only sounds in the room were that of the crackling fire and their heightened breathing. Light stared into L's eyes; he knew the intensity of what he was feeling was being conveyed. He waited for a signal. L's depthless eyes softened suddenly, and Light would always recognize and understand that dreamily look.

"Do you want your kiss…or not?" L asked quietly. Light smiled softly. So the light was green. He leaned in and ever so gently planted a tender kiss upon L's lips. It was a polite kiss, a careful kiss, but even so it ignited the desires inside of him. He wanted more. Still…he forced himself to pull back when he was finished. He would respect L's boundaries. But when Lights looked down at L, he was surprised to see that his expression had a harshness to it. Or…was it eagerness? L gazed up at Light with an intensity Light had never felt from him before.

"Kiss me again Raito. And this time…do it like you mean it." Light gaped. What was this? Was L saying that he…

L suddenly wiggled his wrists free from the loose grip Light had them in. He reached up, grabbing Light's head in his pale hands. Then he forced Light to come back down to him. L leaned up just enough to meet him, and then he pressed his lips eagerly against Light's. He kissed him hungrily, hotly. He kissed him with all of the desire he'd been holding back. He opened his mouth for him, granting Light access if he chose to take it. His heavy breath washed over his face and skin, the eagerness of his actions becoming clear.

Light pulled back suddenly, nervous about this sudden change. He stared down at L, his brown eyes large with wonderment.

"Lawli…what about…"

"I'm not scared. Not anymore. Not of you. Not of anything. I want this Raito. I want it. I want _you_. So hurry!" L reached up a second time, this time wrapping his arms around Light's neck. Light stared. L was serious. Very serious. There was a yearning on his face that had never been there before. It was what he had been waiting for. Light knew then that this was finally the moment. This was the moment they'd both been waiting for. L was clearly more than ready.

"Raito, I love you," L said suddenly. "So be with me." Light had no problem with that. All doubts and fears cast aside, Light leaned in a second time. He pressed his lips against L's and began to kiss him fervently, almost desperately, as if he would die if he didn't get enough.

His hands moved to L's white shirt, gently lifting it. And as if L were reacting to Light, his own hands moved feverishly to Light's back. He slipped his hands underneath his shirt. He wanted to feel him. All of him.

Things moved fast. It was almost like a blur or a dazed dream. Clothes were removed. L had undone Light's belt as Light pulled off his shirt. The items were scattered about the living room as if the lovers would have no need for them ever again. Useless, pants and socks and belts were. Useless were they to their higher purpose.

There was skin and sweat. The fire burned not only in the fireplace, but also in each of the young men's hearts and bodies. There was heat. A raging heat that neither could control. There were muscles. They were strong and fluid in Light as he moved. They were tight in L as he tensed.

There was tenderness, but there was also power. Caresses and gentle whispers were balanced with the might and strength of the actions they took. It was nearly overpowering, but not enough. Fingers gripped at the carpet. Toes curled. Both bodies, which seemed both intertwined and interchangeable tensed and twisted. Soft cries rang out into the little bungalow as the snow swirled just outside their windows.

Tensions rose, the heat became nearly unbearable. Pearls of sweat glimmered to the carpeted floor as the pressure soon became nearly intolerable. Reds and yellows overpowered the couple. Gasps of air and rushes of emotion entangled them. And it rose and built until they could simply not hold onto the pleasure of it any longer.

Passion burst forth, washing away all of the reds and yellows. It took all of the heat and the fire with it. It took away their power and their strength. And then it all ended very abruptly as if all the time they had used working up to it hadn't mattered at all.

The fire had dimmed during the time they'd spent within one another. The room had grown darker. Deeper blues from the shadows snuck in so that they could cool off the red-hot colors of the fire in the fireplace. It settled in the same way Light and L seemed to settle together on the carpeted floor. The winter winds outside whistled softly. The sound of soft flakes gently tapping on the windowpane was relaxing.

Covered in a cooling sweat, L inhaled deeply. He lay with Light on the floor, curled up at his side. Light had taken the blanket from earlier and had pulled it up and around both of their naked bodies so that they didn't catch cold in front of the dying fire. It was more than perfect. L's small body lay pressed into his side. He was warm and full of life. He was quiet now, relaxed and breathing softly. Light felt warm inside from the afterglow. And he was tired from their efforts.

He looked over to his love. L's eyes were still open, but barely. He was exhausted. Light smiled. L was watching him. Light took up enough of his remaining energy in order to lean over and kiss him tenderly on his sweaty brow. L sighed a second time in contentment. Light enjoyed his wild hair. L's hair had always been wild. But now, it was simply outrageous as it stuck out in all directions. He was sure his own hair wasn't much better. He didn't care. In fact…it was one of the many hundreds of things that made this perfect.

"I love you Lawli." L smiled wearily in his lover's arms.

"…love…you too Raito." Light chuckled softly. He was wiped out. The two didn't say anything else for a long time. They simply lay there in the comfort of one another's heat in the glow of the fading flames. They listened to the storm rage outside. For the first time in either of their lives, neither had anything to think about. They didn't think at all. They simply laid in the blissfulness of the silence around them. Not even their thoughts made a sound. It was quiet.

"Raito…" came L's wistful voice.

"Hmm?" L smiled softly as he allowed his eyes to flutter closed.

"I'm happy." Light turned to look at his partner, but even as he did so, L had already fallen asleep. He breathed quietly from his place at Light's side. A small grin lifted Light's lips. L was happy. That was exactly what he had been trying to accomplish all this time. And he had succeeded in making it so.

"That's great Lawli," he whispered. Then Light reached out and gently brushed his ebony bangs out of his sleeping eyes. But he was weary too, and sleep kept trying to claim him. Listening to the snow softly falling outside and the crackle of the dying flames, it was hard to resist. Light found his own eyes closing as Lawliet's had done. Using the last of his strength, he carefully placed his nose into Lawliet's soft, feathered hair. He inhaled his scent. _He's happy._ The thought filled him with the most perfect bliss. It made him feel truly happy too. Knowing that they had days, weeks and even years more of this type of feeling to come, Light allowed himself to be taken by slumbers grasp. His eyelids flittered closed.

**The end**

--------------------

**Author's Comments:**

Well, I could cry…and I will. I'm very sad that this is over. But it's also extremely satisfactory. I never imagined that this would ever come so far. When I started that first chapter of "Friend or Foe" it had just been a lark. I thought "why don't I dabble with a little thing about Death Note?" The idea had basically just come to me as a sort of thing to do in my spare time. I thought "What would happen if Light asked L about why he enjoyed cake so much?"

That was all it was really supposed to be. But after I wrote that scene, I discovered that L really just popped to life. Light's innocent question awakened something in L, and suddenly someone was curious about him and not just his abilities. It opened a million doors and before I knew it, this simply little chapter had turned into an entire fanfiction! And then it simply grew and grew until there was so much I could not even contain it within one fanfiction. I created a monster!

But a monster you all seemed to enjoy as much as me! Hehehe!

Anyway, this is the part where I normally do special thanks. I was able to do so for "Friend or Foe" because even though there were tons of reviews, most of the posts were from the same people. I had a set number of fans. In "Friend or Flame" however, there are way too many of you to thank individually. I had no idea this story would become so popular! So unfortunately (and yet I'm really excited about this) I cannot write a special thanks section in fear of leaving someone out. That means there are large numbers of you that I love!

Anyway, I do want to thank all of you for your support and commentary. I have actually gathered many things from several different fans that have relevance to this fanfiction. Someone tipped me off to some fan art someone has done. Very strangely, this was NOT done for "Friend or Flame." I looked up the dates and these pictures actually were made a few years before I started writing Death Note. So it's a freak coincidence. Either way, these pictures are amazing. Here are the links to my Photobucket page.

**Pictures:**

This first one here is of L and Light at the Aquarium!

http://smg. next one is simply kind cute, so I included it. Same artist.

http://smg. this next one I am very proud to say is mine. Yes that's right, I made this one. From scratch. I sketched it out on the plane ride to my grandparents in Florida, back when they were sick. Remember that fiasco? They're doing much better now. Anyway, I got it home and painted it with acrylics. Feel free to use it, just give me credit when you do. Thanks.

http://smg. that's all the images I have or was given. But I was also made aware of a song! One of the reviewers called my attention to a song called "Shot" by Rasmus. This song matches "Friend or Flame" so well, I found it hard to believe it was yet another coincidence. But it is! Hey! Anyway, you should totally check it out on YouTube. Here are the lyrics.

**Shot**  
**The Rasmus**

Tonight we escape, Just you and me  
We'll find our peace, Somewhere across the seas

Enough of the fright, Enough of the fuss  
I'll be awake if he finds us

Needless to say, I'll stand in your way  
I will protect you, And I...

I'll take the shot for you, I'll be the shield for you  
Needless to say, I'll stand in your way  
I'll take the shot for you, I'll give my life for you  
I'll make it stop, I'll take the shot  
For you, For you

Tonight we'll be free, I'll find us a home  
Tonight we will be, Finally on our own

Enough of the hell, Enough of the pain  
I won't let him touch you, I love you   
Needless to say, I'll stand in your way  
I will defend you, And I...

I'll take the shot for you, I'll be the shield for you  
Needless to say, I'll stand in your way  
I'll take the shot for you, I'll give my life for you  
I'll make it stop, I'll take the shot  
For you, For you

Enough of the scars, Enough broken hearts  
I will protect you, And I...

I'll take the shot for you, I'll be the shield for you  
Needless to say, I'll stand in your way  
I'll take the shot for you, I'll give my life for you  
I'll make it stop  
I'll take the shot, I'll take the shot

I'll make it stop

I'll make it stop  
I'll take the shot

**Books:**

Oi! I didn't realize I had so much to share with everyone! Anyway, I hope you enjoyed that song as much as I did! Anyway, I'm winding down here. I think the last thing on my list was that I wanted to mention yet again that I have a children's book out. I've only sold four copies as of now. That makes me worry a great deal, because that means that not only have most of you who made promises neglected to pull through on them, but it also means that my family members haven't even bought any. If I can't get my family to buy it…well…shame on me. So here's a last ditch effort to get some sales on this thing. I only need to sell 68 more books to break even!

….

Yippie…I…guess….hehehehe!

Anyway here's the link so that you can get right to it and not bother with remembering how to spell my name.

Gabrielsen&x9&y22

Please but one! It's a great book I promise! You're little siblings, cousins or relatives will love you for it I swear!

Now that I'm done begging, that novel I mention is still going to be a very long ways off, so don't hold your breath. I need at least a year, maybe even more depending on if I can find a decent and cheap editor to help me or not. So that's all the news.

Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, children and adults of all ages, "Friend or Flame" is now over. Officially. This is it. It's not to say I won't ever write another one again. It could be possible, but not anywhere in the near future. If I do write some more fan fictions, it'll probably be on a different subject. So I'm sorry to those who expressed a desire for a third book. It's just this ending is so perfect to me. I want everyone to be able to imagine Light and L's new life the way they see fit. I really don't want to draw out my vision on that, because I think everyone will have an equally as beautiful vision from mine. So I'll leave it there at that.

I love you all. This entire experience has meant more to me than I can even describe. You have all lifted my spirits during a hard time in my life and you all restored my faith in myself and my writing abilities. I even gained some grammar lessons from some of you and was able to correct some of the bad habits I used to have! I'll continue to improve and one day, I'll have a real fiction book out for you all. I can't wait for that day to come. Until then, "Friend or Foe" and "Friend or Flame" will be here for you to re-read to your little hearts desire.

Kisses and hugs for all of the readers out there!

Spotofpaint


End file.
